The Better Damn Sports Show

By: Tom Alexander

I don’t even own one article of powder blue clothing.

It’s true, not even one. It’s not because I don’t want one, though; it’s because I can’t pull it off.

See, there’s something about a man wearing powder blue - when you see it, you know he’s either got it or he doesn’t. I, myself, don’t have it, and I know it, so I don’t own any velour powder blue outfits, particularly not any matching sweat suits.

Which brings us to Snoop Dogg. Last night, Snoop showed up on stage on the Jimmy Kimmel show, ABC’s new late night assault on the senses, wearing a powder blue Lakers jump suit. Through the TV the material looked soft; at least velour and possibly full-blown velvet. (Dees is beautiful! Vat is that, velvet?) A grown man, a gangsta rapper, comes out on stage wearing a powder-blue Lakers jump suit, in celebration of Kobe and Shaq’s dominating performance.

Here’s the thing about the Jimmy Kimmel show; it’s not that funny. Jimmy Kimmel himself is an amusing guy but the show has not yet jelled; bad things are happening from time to time and ABC is having much-publicized problems dealing with some of the content matter. But, whether the show makes it or not, having Snoop Dogg as the first week’s guest co-host is just about the best idea I have ever heard.


Snoop has, without a doubt, been the highlight of the show; from his definition of “sashay” on Sunday night to him calling a QVC operator “baby,” from his mastery of a deep-fryer to his powder-blue jump suit, this guy is absolutely unreal. He’s hilarious, he’s personable, he manages to be charming and still frightening at the same time. I sit there and watch this show, having grown up in the suburban Midwest and gone to and graduated from college, and occasionally I think about the fact that this guy was once on trial for murder. I know every word of his first album.

Snoop is an educated sports fan, without a doubt; he is a fan of the Lakers and the “Stillers,” as he pointed out the other night (”Stillers” is Snoop-speak for a Pittsburgh-based pro football franchise). I’ve seen him on the Best Damn Sports Show Period (another misnomer) and he’s got a lot to say. He’s certainly not just a die-hard fan, which many celebrities are, and that’s refreshing, because when he talks about sports, he knows what he’s saying.

Snoop Dogg is not, in my opinion, host-of-his-own-show material. I question his ability to conduct an interview, particuarly with any sort of serious guest. I’m more interested in him, as well, than I would be with the actual guest. That’s the thing - these hosts, from Charlie Rose to Craig Kilborn, are interesting guys but are by and large not more interesting than their guests. Snoop is fascinating and would thus steal the thunder from the people who were coming on his show.

But as a sidekick, Snoop may be the best out there. I would love to see TBDSSP bring him on. They could get rid of John Salley or something, and make him one of the guys. Maybe Michael Irvin and Snoop could have a fashion contest - although I think we all know who would win that. Maybe Mike could learn something from Snoop.

Here’s my idea for the template of the perfect round-table sports talk show; sort of what TBDSSP is trying to do, but my version of it.
Main Host

You need a real journalist in charge of the show; someone who knows about sports and can drive the show along but takes himself lightly enough to be able to move along with things. My initial thought was Tony Kornheiser, whom I love dearly, but unfortunately Tony is too opinionated. He might be able to get in on one of the other slots. Someone like Dan Patrick would be great for this role, but he’s way too famous and would overshadow the other guys. So, my choice is Kenny Mayne. He’s funny, he’s smart, he can be serious if he has to be but also is willing to sit on a stage with Snoop Dogg, I’m sure.

Further, Kenny Mayne has the delightfully throwback talent of knowing a lot about Horse Racing, which is important and really interesting.


Former Athlete

From Joe Morgan to Ron Santo to Tony Siragusa, there are zillions of former athletes out there who are making their bones as sports broadcasters. You need the right amount of personability and public-speaking ability, as well as knowledge of the game, to be able to fill this role. It helps if you played on a great team and have some good stories. For example, Joe Morgan is an excellent candidate, due to the fact that he has some awesome stories about one of the greatest baseball teams in history. John Salley also possesses that quality, as does Isiaiaiaiaiaiah Thomas.

You can’t have someone like Jim McMahon, who is a freak and would be way too out there, in the same manner that you can’t have someone like Barry Sanders, who would be way too shy. You need sort of a toned-down version of Barry Sanders. My choice is Joe Montana. He’s smart, he’s funny, nobody doubts his credentials, and if you can get him on your show, more power to you.
Professional Entertainer

The Tom Arnold slot would have to be filled with one Monsieur Snoop Dogg. Enough said.
Guy Who Really Loves Sports and Likes to Talk About Them

Maybe a former coach, like Dick Vitale, or maybe a professional journalist, like Tony Kornheiser or Bill Simmons. Or maybe just some dude who really is down with sports, and knows about them and likes to talk about them.

My choice is Bill Clinton, because he knows a ton about sports, is funny, self-deprecating, and would be an excellent addition to any panel. He watches the west-coast football games at 11 pm on Saturday, he can be on my show.

I love that TV is going more outside the box, especially in terms of sports coverage. No longer is it simply getting people who are journalists or otherwise professional sports fans. It’s about getting a different variety of opinions out there. I hope that things continue in this same vein, and I’ll watch Snoop, whether or not he’s in his powder blues, anytime he gets on the air.

Tom Alexander founded the Chicago Sports Review in 2003, and currently serves the publication as its co-publisher. Alexander's media career has spanned a variety of interests, including newspaper reporting with the Times of Northwest Indiana, online reporting with ePrairie.com, and a two-plus year stint as a professor in Columbia College Chicago's journalism department. Outside of journalism, Alexander works to redevelop communities that have been struck by natural disasters. Alexander, a 2000 graduate of the University of Chicago, currently lives with his wife Tiffany and their black lab mix, Johnny Cash, in Arlington, Va.

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