Hart Surgery: Chew on This

By: Micah Hart

The last week has been an absolute blur to me. Driving back and forth from Syracuse to Bethlehem, PA, on Friday. Flying to Jackson, MS, on Sunday. Driving to Memphis, Tupelo, Oxford, and back to Jackson Monday and Tuesday. All this travel has left me weary, and struggling to focus on a topic for discussion for this week’s column. Figuring I needed to relax a little, I went to a local watering hole last night with a few buddies to watch Game 5 of the Spurs-Lakers series.Nights like Tuesday are why I enjoy being a sports fan. I haven’t seen my friends Travis and Jeremy in months, and its nice to know we will always fall right back into the routine, talking sports (and enjoying a few brews while we’re at it). Often people (read: girls) say they don’t understand how guys can be so obsessed with sports, spending so much time talking about them. I don’t really have an explanation for them. I just feel bad they don’t have anything equally as engrossing to discuss. It just seems like The Bachelor can only get you so far. Anyway, I was excited to see my friends, and hoped I would discover a topic worthy of addressing.

But come to think of it, not every column needs a purpose, right? Last night was a good time, so I thought I would give you a sample of what is on the minds of a few typical guys. We are all big basketball fans, so of course that was mostly the topic of conversation. Here were some of our thoughts…

Lakers-Spurs

My friend Travis is of the opinion that Tim Duncan disappears in the fourth quarter too much. Last night, he certainly did nothing to dispel that notion. For a guy who is the best player in the league, he has to do better than this. The Spurs survived though, and in an interesting turn of events. Everyone and their mother points to Robert Horry’s last second heroics last year against Sacramento as the play that turned the tide for L.A. and led them to their 3rd straight title. This time he missed. Interesting foreshadowing…

Give Kobe Bryant credit for helping the Lakers battle back last night, but his play in the last two minutes of the game cost the Lakers the W. He made a bunch of mistakes, none worse than not shooting the ball with a few seconds left and drawing a foul on the airborne Bruce Bowen. As good as Kobe is, it still seems like he is too often out of sync with his teammates…

Travis also believes John Stockton is one of the best players (not point guards) in NBA history. We argued this point for a while. I would say he is certainly one of the most consistent players of all time, and deserves many accolades. But to me, consistency and excellence are not one and the same. Stockton never took over games, and could not will a team to victory like MJ or Magic. Even a small guard like Isiah could dominate, so I don’t think Stockton’s size is a factor. He is an all-timer, but I wouldn’t put him in the top 20…

When did Tyronne Lue change his name to Janerro Pargo? …Tayshaun Prince is playing very well for Detroit. Did you know Tayshaun is from Compton, California? He does not look like a guy who would be from Compton. We all saw Boyz ‘N The Hood. He doesn’t look like he would last a day there … Hedo Turkoglu looks like he smells worse than any other player in the NBA. You can almost see wavy lines, like humidity, emanating from his body … By the way, Travis’s favorite player now that Stockton retired is Greg Ostertag, but he had gulped a few beers by the time he said that…

NBA Draft

Two of the guys I was with last night, Travis and Joe, were college ballplayers, so of course the discussion turned to the draft. We all agreed from having watched LeBron play a few times that we just don’t understand all the fuss. I preface that statement by mentioning my high school, Murrah High School in Jackson, has produced a number of NBA-level players. Othella Harrington, Lindsey Hunter, and Maurice Williams (who just declared for the draft out of Alabama) are a few of the names. My point is we have seen high school phenoms before. Othella, for example, averaged 29 points, 24 rebounds, and 7 blocks a game his senior year. He has become, at best, a workmanlike journeyman in the NBA. And if I had to rank the talent I saw at Murrah, I would say he was maybe fourth or fifth best. Of the guys I would put in front of him, only one (James “Hollywood” Robinson), even had a cup of coffee in the NBA. The lesson here is two-fold: No matter how good a guy looks, it’s still against high school competition. And second, sometimes talent isn’t enough.

Other draft thoughts: Maurice Williams should stay if he’s a first rounder. Mark Gottfried, the coach at Alabama, won’t be doing anything to help his game if he comes back.

The onslaught of international prospects has led to a couple of theories. Mine says that more college players will begin to stay in school as less spots become available to them. Travis thinks some high schoolers will begin to go to Europe while in high school to play professionally, much like Nowitzki and Stojakovic did before and players like Darko Milicic do now. I think we could both be right…

And just to show we can talk about other things…

General Observations

The Hulk movie looks too cartoonish, but it did bring up fond memories for Travis. When he was little, he used to run around when the show was on and tell his mom he was “hulking out.” Incidentally, Travis is getting married, so it’s okay for him to admit these kinds of things now … Buying wedding presents is the most impersonal thing you can do. I understand couples register for gifts for a reason. But to me its like, “You’re friendship means so much to me. I feel honored to have been invited to this blessed event. Here are twelve napkin rings” … My friend Jeremy played 106 holes of golf yesterday. Just seems worth mentioning…

Finally, this: We all agreed the commercial for 7-Up Code Red where the guy jumps out of the stands to block the mascot’s shot was great. But for the love of God, who greenlit (greenlighted?) those Extra commercials with the Angry gumball? Just when I thought I had seen the worst idea for a commercial (Celine Dion is who we need to sell Chryslers!), Extra has come along and pulled a Greztky, putting the record far, far out of reach. Watching that commercial not only makes me not want to chew Extra, it almost turns me off to the idea of gum itself. Maybe even chewing.

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Micah Hart is an original contributor to the CSR, and works in sports media in Atlanta. Micah can be reached at micahbhart@yahoo.com. He reminds you to Hook 'em Horns.

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