Headlines for May, 2004

Sports Psychosis

If critics are those who would walk through a battlefield and shoot the survivors, then what am I to make of us, the sportswriters?We are certainly hypo-critics, at once congratulating Moises Alou on his quick hands, and then lambasting him and making fun of his methods for keeping them strong, and blister free. So he urinates on his hands. You [read more...]

French Open: Trouble in Clay

Usually, this would be a great time of year. While the official tennis season started, it can be argued at the Australian Open in January, the real tennis season for me begins now: the start of the French Open.As soon as the open is completed, the grass court season begins culminating at "The Championships," known more colloquially as Wimbledon. The [read more...]

The Thin Line Between Love and Hate

It seems like a lot of sportswriters are going out of their way to come up with lists these days. Whether they are trying to spark heated national debate or just looking for an easy way to write a column without truly tackling a topic, lists have been popping up everywhere like bad reality shows and Jessica Simpson commercials. Well if [read more...]

Things You Say or Do After Your Team Loses

In my case, the San Antonio Spurs: ·Blame it on your girlfriend for walking past the TV during a critical time out. ·Use every stereotype you can for the foreign players on your team. Ex: "I bet Tony Parker doesn't even shave his pits." ·Make stereotypes up for players whose country you know nothing about. Ex: "Hey Rasho, go watch cartoons! Slovenians love cartoons." ·Combat [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Seventh Heaven

Well, I suppose I should have kept my mouth shut about these NBA playoffs. A week after declaring this year's version the worst I'd ever seen, we saw two of the best games in playoff history. First the Lakers amazing win over the Spurs in Game 5 out West. I know I talked about it last week, but I cannot stress enough how big [read more...]

A Perfect Game, Imperfect Reporting

Top This!At the age of 40, playing for a last place team, Randy Johnson threw just the 17th perfect game in the history of baseball’s modern era Tuesday night. The Big Unit struck out 13 in his teams 2-0 victory. It was his second career no-hitter. Just minutes later, at Wrigley Field, Jason Schmidt finished a game in which he gave [read more...]

Racism in Sports? It’s Checks, Not Balances

Don King, who has spent time in prison, has had bullets nestled comfortably in the back of his head for over 30 years, has been in court more than Judge Judy, and has made millions by "promoting" boxing events for decades, is fond of saying "Only In America!"He's halfway right. He should have said, only in American sports. King is [read more...]

NBA Playoff Diary: A Non-Fan’s Account

I admit it, I have been an NBA detractor ever since the Chicago Bulls dynasty went the way of the dodo bird. Too many playoff series', too many thuggish players, and too many flat-out ugly games have kept my interest at a distance. So in an effort to be more sports well-rounded, I forced myself to sit and watch game five [read more...]

Classic Lakers-Spurs Game Proves One Thing: The NBA is Boring

The NBA is pretty boring. I'm not kidding, I really believe that the NBA is one of the most boring leagues in the history of man. The games, I believe, are absolutely interminable-surpassed only by the fact that they play 82 of them in the regular season and (potentially) 28 more in the postseason. You've got to think that we can [read more...]

Joe Paterno Belongs; So Do His Peers

Old just isn't what it used to be.Joe Paterno has paced the sidelines of Beaver Stadium for decades in a pair of Nike shoes we now refer to as "classic." He has walked the distance from home to office, in preparation for those games, every day for a period that spans four decades. At Penn State, they have afforded him [read more...]

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