Draft Grade: Incomplete

By: Chicago Sports Review

Draft experts and fans alike engage in more double-speak and create more ludicrous assessments of the future based on their reports and expertise than a joint-session of congress.

So after the NFL Draft mercifully came to an end Sunday afternoon when “Mr. Irrelevant” (Andy Stokes from William Penn!) was taken by the New England Patriots, the speculation had barely even begun. As America plays Monday Morning Executive, fantasy fanatics begin scraping the internet for tips on who will be the drafts biggest point producer, and Mel Kiper Jr. removes his hair and microchips for a 72-hour slumber, the more enlightened fan should produce a scoff and bask in perspective. But needless to say, we must address…

Some highlights -

Paper Hero

Alex Smith of Utah goes 1st overall to San Francisco, a team that has drafted quarterbacks two of the last three years and has an offensive line that moonlights as a matchmaking service for quarterbacks and defensive ends. Smith has “all the tools” says Kiper and new head coach Mike Nolan, though Kiper has him rated lower than five other players on his “Big Board.” Smith is an athlete, so he is not “the slowest player in the league” as Tom Brady calls himself, nor does he possess average to below average arm strength like Joe Montana, Kurt Warner, or Chad Pennington. He is mobile, unlike Dan Marino or Peyton Manning, each who could plausibly win a foot race with Louie Anderson, perhaps even Ted Washington. No, he is none of these things, which make him a work-out hero coming out of a purely shot-gun system. Almost reminds you of Ryan Leaf, Tim Couch, or Akili Smith. Who wouldn’t want an athlete like that? Last week, Mike Ditka pointed out that drafting a quarterback in the first round is about a 30% proposition. The 49ers can only hope for a winning percentage so high next season.

Market Confusion

Three of the first five picks are running backs for the first time ever. Ronnie Brown goes number two. This is ironic since he was the number two at Auburn on the depth chart behind 5th pick Carnell “Cadillac” Williams, who has but one ACL surgery to his resume. Cedric Benson is emotional when he is drafted at number four by the Chicago Bears. His emotion is touching, and Torry Holt (a guest analyst with ESPN) notes that this is the kind of emotion that will make Benson successful as an NFL player. In his interview with Suzy Kolber, Benson calls the pre-draft questions and speculation surrounding his character a “slap in the face” and comparisons to Ricky Williams a product of the fact that both are “from Texas, had dreadlocks, and are African-American.” That and both have been disciplined for marijuana use, with Benson having been arrested twice, once for assault. Then again, maybe they’re not so similar, Ricky Williams wasn’t arrested. He just openly notes that he likes to toke up. The average NFL career for a drafted running back is around two years. This year, the likes of Edgerrin James, Shaun Alexander, and Travis Henry couldn’t even inspire the trade of a second round pick. The market on the running back position, seems, shall we say, conflicted.

Brilliant! Stupid! What?

The Detroit Lions surprise many when they select Mike Williams from USC with the 10th pick, creating what on paper appears to be the scariest, biggest, fastest, unproven receiving corps in history. Draft nuts, however, question this pick relentlessly, even though guru Kiper has Williams rated as the top individual talent in the draft and has called him “uncoverable”. The Minnesota Vikings take Troy Williamson three picks earlier, a receiver out of South Carolina and its running offense that nobody outside the SEC has seen play, though he’s been stellar in workouts. Braylon Edwards from Michigan goes 3rd to Cleveland. When they were freshman in elite conferences, Edwards caught three passes at Michigan, Williams caught 81 at USC. Edwards’ forty time and route-running propel him to the top. Does anything conclusive come from any of this? Only enough for “experts” to call the Browns pick “solid” grade the Vikings draft an “A” and call the Lions pick “very questionable”. Make sense? We’ll see.

Bullish on Mechanics

Aaron Rodgers of Cal, expected by many to be the first pick taken, falls to 24th overall when he is snagged by the Green Bay Packers. One of five players invited to the “green room” to come on stage after his selection, he is awkwardly interviewed by Suzy Kolber well over an hour after every other green roomer has had his name called. When his name is called, he seems happy to go to Green Bay, where he can be mentored by Brett Favre, a player with a rifle arm famous for throwing into coverage, off his back foot, on the run, sometimes side armed, (and underhanded if you recall), enjoys a good head butt, and has thrown more than his share of blocks to the glee of teammates and fans. When you got it, you got it. Good thing Rodgers has good mechanics. Mechanics make the quarterback, right?

Two Years Too Late

Maurice Clarett comes off the board with the 101st pick, the last of an 11-plus hour Saturday, awakening most avid draft beatniks who are either drunk or comatose, causing the biggest stir in over six hours. Kiper, Chris Mortensen, Chris Berman, and Torry Holt each show some degree of shock, noting that Denver could have landed Clarett in the 5th round. Each, however, can’t argue with the fact that Denver is a Mike Shanahan-oiled running machine and could make the average beer vendor into a 1000-yard back. Not surprisingly, none of the experts note that if the cartel known as the NCAA had any concern for the welfare of its athletes, Clarett likely would have been a top ten pick two years ago after he dominated the Big Ten and earned Ohio State a National Title. Clarett is a third round pick this year, while he could be a two year NFL veteran with his financial security in place. Here’s hoping Oklahoma’s Adrian Peterson can keep tacklers away from his knees for two more years. If he had the choice and opted as such, he would have easily been valued as a top ten pick in this years draft, and Oklahoma would have to find another back to help pay Bob Stoops’ multi-million dollar salary and his players in the neighborhood of 12-grand apiece for scholarships, so they can maintain six-year graduation rates of under 30%.

As the draft experts give A’s and F’s today, the more enlightened fan will turn on baseball and look forward to college and pro football in August, and relax with the knowledge that for at least a year (three is better) all these grades should be printed thusly:

Incomplete.

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