Blips, Blurbs & Blasts
OK, Tom Brady, let’s review. Your team has won three of the last four Super Bowls, and you’ve been the MVP in two of those games. Most football experts believe that the Patriots are the only team with any chance of knocking the Colts out of the postseason. You are currently dating Bridget Moynahan, one of the most drop-dead gorgeous women in Hollywood. GQ Magazine recently put you on its cover and featured a photo of you caressing a goat. And you think you’re being disrespected? Hey, pretty boy, any time you want to trade lives for a week or so, you let me know …
If you thought power numbers across Major League Baseball took a dive last season thanks to the new steroid policy, just wait until this year when amphetamines hit the list of banned substances. Former pitcher Jim Bouton talked about the rampant use of greenies among his fellow Yankees in his infamous book Ball Four, and he last wore pinstripes back in 1968. Uppers have been just as commonplace in big league locker rooms as pine tar and eye black, so I think it’s safe to say that Cal Ripken’s consecutive games played streak is even more untouchable now …
Texas quarterback Vince Young dropped the collective jaw of the college football world with his mesmerizing one man show in the BCS Championship Game, outgunning Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush in the process. He just could be the next Randall Cunningham mixed in with a little bit of Michael Vick and a dash of Daunte Culpepper all rolled into one. You know how many combined Super Bowls those three guys have been to? How about zero. I think it’s safe for Bush to go house-hunting in Houston right about now …
PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem recently announced that The Players Championship will be moving from March to May on the tournament schedule starting in 2007. Not only is the weather in Ponte Vedra Beach a little dryer later in the spring, but this now gives the sport one monster event each month for five consecutive months - The Masters in April, TPC in May, the U.S. Open in June, the British Open in July, and finally, the PGA Championship in August. That being said, one of the reasons The Players Championship is such a draw is the fact that it’s always the first must-see-TV event on the golf calendar. This is the equivalent of ordering an appetizer after you’ve already eaten your entree …
I think Mackinaw peaches have a longer shelf life than NFL head coaches these days. Take a look back at the great dynasties throughout the history of professional football. Vince Lombardi with the Packers in the 60’s. Chuck Noll with the Steelers in the 70’s. Bill Walsh with the 49ers in the 80’s. Sensing a theme here? It’s called continuity, and since you’ll never see it again with the players in this salary cap and free agency environment, there has to be some stability with the top face on the totem pole if you want to build a winner in this league. Yet these maniacal owners keep spinning through coaches like Renee Zellweger spins through musicians …
Although it was great to finally get the reliever ball rolling with Bruce Sutter’s election to the Baseball Hall of Fame, how in the world is Jim Rice not enshrined in Cooperstown yet? He launched 382 homeruns in an era when 35 or 40 per year was enough to lead the league, finished in the top-seven in batting average six times despite being known as a power hitter, made eight All-Star teams in the span of ten years, drive in 100+ runs eight times, and won the American League MVP in 1978. So he was a little testy with the media and had a reputation as a surly guy, big deal. The guy has better numbers than Ralph Kiner and was an elite player for a much longer period of time …
Former Ohio State star Maurice Clarett was accused of displaying a gun and robbing two people in an alley behind a bar on New Year’s Eve, the latest trouble for the former Buckeye who left the school in disgrace and failed to gain early entry into the NFL. And to think, just this past April, he was a third-round draft pick of the Denver Broncos, an organization that has had the running back Midas Touch for a decade. This kid has officially turned into a walking, talking, don’t-be-like-this-guy after school special …
Did you see the ceremony at Madison Square Garden on Thursday night when the New York Rangers retired Mark Messier’s #11 sweater? The zamboni driver had to make an extra run just to smooth out all the tears he left on the ice. I don’t think the final season of “NYPD Blue” lasted that long. As a matter of fact, it might still be going on right now. I think he just man-hugged a hot dog vendor on 5th Avenue …
According to the surgeon who performed the operation to repair Bengals QB Carson Palmer’s torn knee, “On a scale of one to three, it was a four. It was off the chart. It was pretty badly damaged. Shredded is the better term.” Not a good sign for one of the most promising signal-callers to hit the NFL in a decade. The people of Cincinnati haven’t been this nervous about a surgical procedure since Loni Anderson had her breasts reduced …
Former “Baywatch” star David Hasselhoff filed for divorce this week after 16 years of marriage. Want to take a guess what his soon-to-be ex-wife’s name is? In what can only be described as the mother of all coincidences, it’s Pamela. No, not that Pamela, but what are the odds? That would be like Greg Evigan, the actor who played B.J. McKay on “B.J. and the Bear”, being married to a trucker chimpanzee.
Tags: amphetamines, Bruce Sutter, Carson Palmer, David Hasselhoff, Hall of Fame, Jim Rice, Mark Messier, Maurice Clarett, MLB, NFL, steroids, Tim Finchem, Tom Brady, Vince Young
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