War Stories: In the Weight Room

By: Michael Pitre

“Specialist K. and the Country Convoy” was outlawed from the weight room stereo following a general uprising of the Marines.Her afternoon broadcasts on Armed Forces Radio originated in the “International Zone” of Baghdad, and played in the gym during prime workout hours.

It wasn’t so much her selection of modern country music, although that was certainly grating to the nerves. What really set the Marines in a rage was her insistence on announcing “International Zone events,” during station breaks.

These events typically included karate by the south pool, poker tournaments by the north pool and yoga by the east pool. She kept mentioning new swimming pools, which led the Marines to envision an I.Z. equipped with dozens of glittering oasis. That didn’t go over well in Anbar Province, where the I.Z. seems as remote to the troops as Wrigley Field.

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    Since then, the Marines have been bringing in their own mix-CDs. In true displays of democracy, any mix that doesn’t immediately satisfy the majority’s need for guttural, pounding riffs, and that most treasured Marine Corps commodity, “motivation,” is quickly removed.

    As one would imagine, a Marine Corps weight room in western Iraq is awash in testosterone. The typical gym is Spartan. There are no mirrors, steam rooms or special luxuries to improve the overall comfort of your workout. There are only weights, pull-up bars and the primal awareness of male antagonism. If the management were any less concerned with your comfort, the bench press would be a bed of nails.

    Looking around the tent one is also struck by the almost total lack of flab. Only by the strictest standards of fitness would any patron be considered out of shape. That could be due in part to the summer heat. The Iraqi sun will melt the pounds off most anyone. But it also speaks to the devotion with which most Marines adhere to their routine.

    It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say the average Marine gains five pounds of lean muscle during a typical 7-month deployment to Iraq. In unit offices all over base, special shelves are constructed to store supplements ordered from the Internet, protein shakes, vitamins and the newest advances in muscle-building technology.

    Those not inclined toward weight-lifting quickly learn that the gym is their best bet for stress relief.

    		When packages arrive from home, the basket typically contains at least two boxes bearing the label of a prominent online body-building supplier. It’s always an occasion to tease the unfortunate guilty party, especially if he happens to be the lieutenant.

    Even those not inclined toward weight-lifting quickly learn that the gym is their best bet for stress relief. Whether caused by a build-up of idle adrenaline, frustration or the ever-present anxiety of separation, an hour lifting weights drains the body of tension. And with irregular work-hours the general rule, a vigorous work-out eases the adjustment onto varying sleep cycles.

    The gym is also a place where a tolerance for tough-guy talk is essential. It also helps to throw out some invective of your own. After World Cup matches, random conversations would always come back to international soccer players and their unconscionable willingness to take dives.

    “Where’s their pride?” I heard a Marine say in passing, “How can you roll around on your back, clutching your shin like a baby when you know the whole world is watching that replay, knowing you’re a total fake.”

    “Sometimes they’re really hurt,” said his friend, playing devil’s advocate.

    “No sympathy. Even if you are really hurt, you get your ass back up. Never let the enemy see you hurt. Be a man.”

    The gym is shared by third-country nationals and civilian guest workers, who either indoctrinate themselves to Marine Corps gym-culture quickly, or they stop coming entirely. I once saw an African guest worker stare with wide-eyed amazement, tinged with fear, at a sergeant bench pressing 315 lbs. like a piston, letting out a primal scream with each repetition. I feared he wouldn’t come back, but I saw him the next week working to his absolute limit, the same sergeant giving him a spot.

    There’s always a generosity of spirit for the new guy.

    The gym is also a place where inter-service rivalries can be resolved. It isn’t uncommon to see a soldier and a Marine who share the same gym hours become lifting partners. In a world of intense military pride, watching young men in disparate Army and Marine Corps uniforms giving each other spots on the bench is not unlike watching cats and dogs playing together. It’s rather heart-warming.

    The gym gives Marines something tangible they can take home. For many servicemen on their second and third deployment, there’s a desire to know that the years of their life spent in Iraq were personally constructive.

    Marines earn college credit via correspondence. They learn foreign languages and tear through the dog-eared copies of the classics left in lending libraries. They work on their physiques and challenge themselves to improve their three-mile-run times. Nearly everyone has a well-planned program of self-improvement.

    The Marine Corps ethos abhors wasted time.

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    1st Lieutenant Michael Pitre is a Marine currently deployed to Western Iraq. Drop him a note at pitre.michael@gmail.com.

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