Straight Guy For The Queer Eye: NBA Uniforms Still Not Gay Enough
When former NBA player John Amaechi became the first pro basketball player to announce that he was gay back in 2007, I was thoroughly impressed with his courage and hoped perhaps it was a beacon of light, an invitation for other homosexual athletes — who might have been living a double life — to reveal their true identity as Super Gay.
But after some of the ambiguously gay responses from some of the league’s athletes at the time, I still wonder what effect his “coming out” actually had. It’s been over a year since the announcement, and the news has swiftly faded from the sports headlines like a Republican congressman who suddenly got his straightness back. Which makes me think The NBA could use a little Straight Guy For The Queer Eye makeover.
It doesn’t take long to remember former Miami Heat player Tim Hardaway, still reeling years later, from the mandatory new dress code and color scheme in the locker room:
“I don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world or in the United States.”
Come on Timmy, you left out the universe and Asheville, North Carolina — where there are not many gay people left, thanks to you. The world IS the United States, according to most of those wacky, imperialistic congressmen, who are clearly NOT gay (not that there is anything right with that). Wow Timmy, karma is a bad deal… Who else thinks there will be a male hair dresser in the family some day?
The NBA immediately distanced itself from Hardaway afterward, by moving the All-Star Game to Pluto, or the Cosmos, or somewhere far away from the world and the United States.
Meanwhile, former coach Pat Riley said the Heat organization would not support gay tantrums by any current or former players, no matter how homophobic they claim to be. Hardaway later apologized, comparing his comments to the hate and bigotry he faced for no longer being able to grow a giant afro.
But the hair damage was done.
Hardaway’s comments were far more homoerotic than subtleties echoed among other players around the league — like Cleveland Cavaliers star LeBron “King” James.
“With teammates you have to be trustworthy, and if you’re gay and you’re not admitting that you are, then you are not trustworthy,” said James after learning of Amaechi’s inspirational announcement.
So, after LeBron and the Cavs bowed out again in the NBA playoffs this season, I’m wondering… how can you trust a guy who can’t penetrate defenses of opposing men in the clutch? Maybe the Cavs simply aren’t gay enough to win a title yet? Don’t worry LeBron… It’s just a phase (wink, wink). It’s just love (of the game) between a large group of muscular, sweaty men — who trust each other.
Although Lebron’s brave comments haven’t earned him a title yet (except the right to wear a very heterosexual king’s crown), they have inspired gays and lesbians to sprout up out of the locker rooms — in Cleveland, the world and the United States — so they can play in the NBA one day. Not only did it affect young gay athletes, it touched young, gay black men, who shouted “I’m gay, I’m black, and I’m proud Lebron,” during pickup games in the mean streets of Cleveland.
While athletes certainly have no obligations to be role models or to dress and act any gayer than they already do, I’m glad Lebron and the NBA didn’t blow this call — especially the entire Washington Wizards franchise, which is clearly very gay in name alone.
You really have to give Lebron some extra credit since he wasn’t exposed to playing dress-up, acting or drama of any kind, until making his theater debut for Nike.
And I’m glad that he and others boldly took a stand last year to say that gay people are free to look at his ass as long as they admit they are gay; that it is all about playing a game as long as they tell him they want to slap him on the ass after a free throw, because they’re flaming gay; that sexual orientation has nothing to do with winning unless you don’t tell me that you’re gay; that you are free to be the complete homo that you are, as long as you tell LeBron. King James will give his blessing to the land of gay.
James went on to say there is a code in the locker room, a “what happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room” attitude, gayspeak mantra for “I want to have discreet, gay man love — on the road — maybe with a congressman.” I’m not implying that James exhibits those behaviors — because he seems to be in the NBA closet otherwise — but it speaks to the need for more drama queens in the league.
James, even though never playing college ball, finally got his One Shining Moment, because his comments were — without question — groundbreakingly gay friendly. He clearly stated that it was a trust issue when another person of the same sex looks at you naked in the locker room. Because he wants to know the truth of whether or not he has a cute ass from the perspective of another man who likes to have sex with men, and would quickly recognize a sexy, tight, black rump without any coaching.
But in all fairness, there’s also the issue of gay players not trusting their straight teammates who might “bring their hetero on them.” There is that fear, when you know that Shavlik Randolph’s straightness could rub off on you at any moment, and perhaps make you go straight back into the locker room closet.
Steven Hunter, a center with Philadelphia at the time of Amaechi’s announcement, was uplifted to live his dreams, and declared his candidacy for the U.S. House of Representatives:
“Nowadays it’s proven that people can live double lives. I watch a lot of TV, so I see a lot of sick perverted stuff about married men running around with gay guys and all types of foolishness.”
I can see that Steven is already on his way to changing the world.
An older, wiser, and unafraid Grant Hill, simply just got it over with, and announced he was gay:
“The fact that John has done this, maybe it will give others the comfort or confidence to come out as well, whether they are playing or retiring,” said Hill, a former teammate of Amaechi.
One day, I think the NBA will reach a point where it could field one expansion team of openly gay players, maybe with a straight coach — like Grant Hill: The San Francisco Gayboys. Wow, would that be great for the gay movement?
There’s also good news for retiring NBA players, because after all of the highlights are over, you can still go down to a local YMCA, pick up a membership form, and continue playing hoops with your wife (or partner) while practicing all the Christian principles taught by Jesus.
I have at least one gay relative that I know of, and some lesbian and gay friends, but there are more out there waiting for me to trust them with my own heterosexuality; waiting for me be more heterosexually open with them; waiting for me to feel comfortable in my own heterosexual skin; waiting for me to be the full, straight person I was meant to be in this life.
While I think there have been some small victories in terms of accepting a flamboyantly gay lifestyle in the NBA, I’m still waiting for the day when this column is more funny than painful, to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the world——or in the United States.
Tags: anti-gay bigotry, Asheville North Carolina, bigotry, bisexual, Cleveland Cavaliers, David Stern, discrimination, gay, Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, gay and lesbian activism, gay movement, gay pride, Gay rights, gay stereotypes, GLAAD, Grant Hill, homophobia, International Lesbian and Gay Association, John Amaechi, LeBron James, lesbian, LGBT, Miami Heat, National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, NBA, NBA dress code, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That, outinasheville.com, Outsports, Pat Riley, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Seinfeld, Shavlik Randolph, Steven Hunter, Tim Hardaway, transgender, YMCA
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I remember getting into an argument with one of my friends about LeBron’s comments. He said LeBron was being a leader and I felt LeBron’s statements were just as inappropriate as Randolph’s or Hunter’s (Hardaway’s comments were in a class of their own).
Possibly LeBron should concern himself more with not pressuring Danny Ferry to make ridiculous trades as opposed to worrying about teammates sex lives.
And it is a little sad that for all the controversy about Amaechi when he initially came out, nothing ever came from it - other than book sales I guess.
Comment by David on May 27, 2008
My friend and I also discussed it at the time and we both agreed that it was sad. And while Hardaway’s comments were far worse, we both felt that Lebron — because he is a recognizable star — missed the chance to speak loudly in accepting something that is totally insignificant to playing the game of basketball.
I think that people, deep down inside, want to change their thinking. Because, after all, we are only human.
I mean, just think of all the free haircuts and techno these guys are missing out on in the locker room.
If these athletes would just use their heads, and stop acting so gay about people being gay… Championships are won with unity. Imagine that.
Comment by Den Cotton on May 27, 2008
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Den-
This was a wonderfully funny and dark peek into our thinking - fears, too - in the U.S….
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