Leave Brett Favre’s Locker Alone

By: D.K. Wilson

The Green Bay Packers have kept Brett Favre’s locker intact. No really, the Packer organization is keeping the recently-retired QB’s locker in place for posterity.

See, this is because Brett Favre is the greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL. He is the league’s all-time leader in virtually every significant passing category - touchdowns (442), completions (5,377), attempts (8,758) and yards (61,655), all previously held by the prolific Dan Marino. Favre also ranks first with 160 victories at quarterback and beginning on Sept. 20, 1992, he started in a remarkable 253 games in a row (275 including playoffs), a record for NFL quarterbacks and the second-longest recorded streak in league history.

So what if Aaron Rodgers must walk by the fabled QB’s locker every day? If he can’t take the heat, well, you know the rest. My advice to Rodgers is to suck it up and deal with it. Deal with the fact that he’ll never be Favre, deal with the fact that he won’t even be close to as good as Brett Favre; that he won’t lead Green Bay to consecutive Super Bowls, that he won’t win a Super Bowl, and will be fortunate to get to a Pro Bowl.

Aaron Rodgers is kind of like the kid who dreams of becoming a pro athlete and ends up with a nice college scholarship instead. He’s made it to the NFL and will earn a great salary, make a nice living for himself, hopefully last seven or eight years in the league, retire, and move on with his life.

Rodgers first needs to understand that if he wants to have that aforementioned career he needs to be a good journeyman and let the team assembled around him help him out. He should never think about winning a game because of his self-perceived talents - because that kind of play is reserved for only one man ———- Brett Favre.

Next, Rodgers should seek out Favre’s wisdom at every turn. Whenever he begins to have trouble, which will be often, he needs to text Brett and plead for his help. Rather than talk with coaches too much — call Favre.

These fat guys on the sidelines have never put on the #4 and trotted out on the field in the fourth quarter down four points with 1:30 left in the game at your own 12-yard line when the temperature is -10 degrees with a wind chill of minus 35. They’ve never stepped into the huddle under those conditions and had to look at 10 other real men whom are looking to you, begging you with their eyes to take control of this insane situation and lead them to a touchdown.

That’s why they’re coaches and Favre is, well, Favre. And Aaron that’s why you solicit Favre’s help - always. Brett Favre should be the final voice in your head Aaron.

Finally, when preparing for games this coming season, after your normal film work, ask the Packers video people - or call Matt Walsh - and get video of Brett Favre playing against that team. Take that video home and study the game from Brett Favre’s perspective. Then on Sunday or Monday night, hope to approximate Favre’s actions. And remember Aaron, the operative phrase here is “hope to approximate.”

Above all Aaron Rodgers, Favre was The Master writ large and you, you are forever lesser. You are a lesser quarterback, should you get married you’ll be a lesser husband, a lesser father, and a lesser man. Hell, if you buy a farm, you’ll be a lesser farmer than is Favre. You could never hope to nurture along crops like Brett Favre during an offseason, leave them for training camp and leave them with the confidence to grow alone without your help while you trot off to play football.

Of Favre, the fabled football analyst Frank Caliendo said it best:

If you could take Brett Favre and clone him and make 10 more Brett Favres and have them play 11 Brett Favres —– the universe would explode.

And listen to your head coach Mike McCarthy:

“I think it’s more than a locker.”

And Aaron, don’t try to touch his uniform or shoulder pads in the locker. You’ll only soil the man’s legacy.

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D.K. Wilson is a freelance sports writer. He is better known on the internet as "DWil," and writes for Sports On My Mind.

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4 Comments

  1. I don’t think you should be to hard on Aron Rodgers if he is good enough he will make the probowl by fan vote. And don’t call him a lesser husband if he get’s married that was uncalled for.

    Comment by Mike Jacobs on May 29, 2008

  2. D.K.,

    I found out recently — purely by accident — that sarcasm is a tough sell in this room. But I heard they created a mold of his “manhood” and are leaving it in the locker for good luck.

    Comment by Den Cotton on May 29, 2008

  3. Den-
    From comment #1, so I see…. to your comment about the good luck charm: they got the Plaster Casters” an group of old 1960s rock music groupies to come back and ummm, forge the mold.

    It will be rubbed by Packers players on their way to the field a la “Howard’s Rock” at Clemson University.

    Comment by D.K. Wilson on May 30, 2008

  4. The good news for you D.K. is that you don’t have a room full of ladies who love Aaron Rodgers and/or Brett Favre. Because then, your life would be over as you know it.

    Comment by Den Cotton on May 30, 2008

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