Misrepresenting Serena: Jason Whitlock at His Worst

By: dwil

If I was one of those English Euro cats who was one of the old guard, powers that be, overseers, master of all he surveys, I would say something like this…

“Tsk tsk, Jason Whitlock. What aaaarrre we go-ing to do with you. You have once again chosen to take one our shining beacons of the sports and entertainment world - a golden woman I might say, and attempt to thoroughly trash her being. Jason —- what on Earrrrr-th were you thinking when you sat your corpulent self down at wherever it is you sat to write this ridiculous piece of drivel about Ms. Serena Williams?

“Dear Jason you knooow Se-re-na is the best lawn court player on the planet. You knoooow  she and her sister Venus were raised by their faaaa-ther, Richard, to be well-rounded women of the world instead of some boring, robotic Eastern European, gypsy descendant genetic freak with bad teeth and an IQ that screams idiot, as well as savant.

“Jason if you followed anything other than that stupid American football - and I hesitate to call what amounts to a 14th-century military exercise without swords and hatchets a ————— sport - you would knoooow, or at least sense, that both Veeee-nus and Se-re-na are feted servants of the Crown and looked upon with the utmost approval by all of us who act in concert behind the veils of your everyday life to control the world.

“When I read your column I called Sir Rupert Murdoch and asked him howww on Earrrrr-th did you get hired at FOX Sports?

He informed me that you were brought on at FOX to provide, as he put it, “a different spin” on the world’s sporting events. He also related to me that at one time you penned thoughtful and relevant commentaries about sport. How-e-va you, apparently, had an utterly traumatic experience at that blasphemous corporate sports arm of the crassly conservative and - sadly - overtly racist world of the American, Walt Disney, called the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network. What do you call it? ‘Ess-pin‘ or something like that? Ruuuu-pert informed me that Ess-pin is a mostly a collective of pompous, money-driven, fame-chasing bloviators who, if they once had a grasp of whatever sport or sport they are charged with knowing, have traded the pursuit of more knowledge and the dissemination of insights for pap-filled, sound bite pieces that act only to…. oh well, the rest is neither her nor there.

“The effect it had on you, though Jaaaa-son, is all that matters here.

“Now, you write as if you re suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress syndrome. And you’ve devolved into the very thing once you so hated”…

And Jason Whitlock, you take out whatever it is that so ails you on every Black athlete you possibly can. 

This time, though, you messed with the wrong person in Serena Williams. Serena, who is 27 and actually has a life, Jason. Yes, Serena williams has a life outside of tennis, unlike other tennis players - you know, the ones you love so damn much; the women who are little more than automatons off the court because they have known nothing other than tennis since they were somewhere between seven and nine years old. You know, the women whose very identities are tied to a wooden or composite stick with strings and a white - at one time - and now yellow, felted ball.

But let’s get to your “commentary” (and I use the term loosely). This is how you began your cheap critique of Serena:

With a reduction in glut, a little less butt and a smidgen more guts, Serena Williams would easily be as big as Michael Jackson, dwarf Tiger Woods and take a run at Rosa Parks.

You can call me unfair. You can even scream that I’m sexist.

But there’s an inescapable truth about Serena Williams: She’s an underachiever.

“An underachiever,” Jason? Really? 

Did you know that Serena Williams plays in the deepest group of women’s tennis players in the history of the game? Did you know that never in the annals of women’s tennis has the number 27 player in the world - in this case Daniela Hantuchova - possessed the talent to, on any given day, defeat the number one player in the world? 

No Jason, you didn’t know this. You could not have know this and called Serena Williams an underachiever.

But you, as usual, were not through. With your next statement, you attempted to demean any person who would defend Williams:

And all the people making excuses for Serena and rationalizing her failure to totally dominate women’s tennis are the very people uninterested in seeing women rise to a level of equality with men.

At this point, since you took the gloves off, it’s my turn. And who am I , Jason Whitlock? I am not Dan LeBatard or J.A. Adande, both of whom let you off the hook for your statements about Serena Williams this afternoon on the ESPN show, Pardon the Interruption. I did play the game and love it more than you ever could Jason Whitlock, I also know more about the game of tennis than you will ever learn - And as a result, you should never, ever comment on anything having to do with the game other than to make superficial observations on your way to discussing something you know  - like food.

Truth be told Jason, both sides of the professional game are lacking. But not because the players are no good. In fact the players in the top 50 of both the men’s and women’s games are more talented than at any other point in history. However, because of the drastic changes in playing surface speed, racket and string technology, and most importantly, coaching methods, professional tennis players, in general, are able to win with fewer shots in their arsenals than ever before.

It is what makes Roger Federer’s dominance of the game so stark and unbelievable. Federer bucked the odds and learned how to proficiently serve and volley , how to transition from the baseline to the net, as well as simply pound the ball for indeterminate periods of time from the baseline. These skills are what made Justine Henin such a dominant player on the women’s side, though she was allegedly too small and too slight to compete with Maria Sharapova or the Williams sisters.

No Jason Whitlock, Serena Williams is not an underachiever. The underachievers were and are Rick Macci and Nick Bolletieri. It is Macci who laid the foundation for Serena’s game, who allowed her to get away with failing to hit technically proficient groundstrokes, and it is Bolletieri who later allowed her to get away with failing to learn how to transition to the net and volley with an automatic confidence.

But you would not dare criticize these men. Hell, you might not have known they coached Serena and her sister, Venus. And if you did, you wouldn’t call them out. It would be against your ‘money-making through controversy’ principles to criticize the White people who are behind the Black athletes you so love to excoriate.

You also know it was a calculated, albeit, real bullshit move, to think you could get away with attempting to elevate yourself above people who actually care about tennis by making overtures like, ‘if you defend Serena you’re sexist’ at least, or, as you put it, “the very people uninterested in seeing women rise to a level of equality with men.”

And yet.

You later claim genetics are at the root of Dinara Safina’s build and looks but not Serena’s.

During this year’s Wimbledon, Serena and Safina played Court 2 while hot, lesser stars battled on Centre Court. Safina can blame genetics for her fate. Serena only has herself to blame. God gave Serena everything, including drop-dead looks.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to notice that Venus’ looks and build come from her father while Serena’s come from her mother. In fact, it doesn’t take much at all, except a want to honestly appraise Serena Williams’ body. Unfortunately Jason Whitlock “disingenuous” is your middle name. Aditionally, Safina played on Courts 2 because of scheduling. Serena was the first top player ever at Wimbledon to be assigned to play on an outer court without there being scheduling conflicts. Martina Navratilova was so upset over Serena’s being relegated to an outer court that she talked about the powers that be at the All-England Club for two full days after her match.  

What was done to Serena Williams was racist - period. R-A-C-I-S-T. Oh and since you now have the spelling of the word at your disposal, Jason, perhaps one day you’ll use it and use the word in its proper context.

And to your potential defenders, no, I do not give a snot if Whitlock said the same thing about Serena to you privately. If you fell for that ruse, you’re a fool because Jason Whitlock set you up as someone who would later defend this asinine rant of his.

But I do want to thank you for something.

Thank you for divulging that you have no knowledge of tennis:

And you probably think I don’t like Serena. You’re wrong. I love her. She’s the main reason I watch tennis.

The statement speaks for itself.

To further show how little you know about the game or Serena Williams for that matter you also tell us:

She’s fascinating. Her power and skill are breathtaking. And when she’s in shape, she’s every bit as sexy as Beyonce.

Serena Wiliams’ body  has never been confused with that of  Beyonce Knowles. And truth be told, Serena is in the best shape of her life; the match against a fitter “looking” Elena Dementieva proved it. By the end of their tense, nearly three hour match it was not Serena but Dementieva who sucked air during long points and failed to execute the following point, a sure sign of becoming tired on a tennis court. It was not Serena but Dementieva who grew mentally tired because her body began to fail her just as the pressure of winning ate at her body.

Perhaps, Jason, you forgot that it was Serena who defeated Dementieva 8-6 in the third and not the other way around.

Williams has said repeatedly that after the better part of four years of injuries, the divorce of her parents, and a family death, Serena Williams is once again able to concentrate solely on tennis. She and every woman who knows the game says Williams is in great shape and does not possess an “unsightly layer of thick, muscled blubber,” as you so claim from your easy chair spot in front of your television.

And as far as why Serena Williams plays the game, how do you know? I know with certainty that you’ve never asked her why she plays the game. But what I do know is that with this gross mischaracterization of Williams, you’ve most certainly blown the opportunity to ever do so.

Finally, to compare Serena Williams with Paris Hilton? Many people I know were angered by that statement. I’m not. It is the second calculated statementof this rant of yours written solely to create controversy rather attempt to explain the essence of Serena Williams.

You know, Jason Whitlock, I bet if I rhythmically waved a nice, juicy pork rib in front of your eyes for a few seconds I could hypnotize you and find that you despise of yourself and your Blackness; that in your heart of hearts you wish you were Jeff George.

And I am so very happy I’m not that ‘English Euro cat’ because if I was I couldn’t lay the wood to your stupid ass, you slob ——— of a writer.

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