*Breaking* Jack Del Rio Two-Hand Tosses His QB David Garrard

By: dwil

With a question from Jim Rome Thursday afternoon in Miami, the bus swiftly approached Rome and Jacksonville Jaguars head coach Jack Del Rio. Just as fast as the oncoming vehicle Del Rio bent down picked up his quarterback David Garrard by the scruff of his neck and by his belt and tossed Garrard under the bus’ carriage.

Bmp, bmp —bmp bmp bmp bmp! And Garrard was done.

What precipitated such an act? Ahhh, the question from Rome to Del Rio:

Hey Jack, is David Garrard a Super Bowl-caliber quarterback?

Del Rio replied:

“Well, that’s a good question. I would say a quarterback like David Garrard can be that with a great supporting cast. You know, I don’t know. When you look at teams that have won multiple championships I think they’ve had elite quarterbacks. I think Peyton Manning-type guys. Joe Montana-type guys.”

Wait a min-ute. Manning’s only won one Super Bowl. Does Jack D. Rio know something we don’t about Sunday?

But then came the toss:

“The elite quarterback? He’s not that. I do think David’s a good football player. I do think he can help us if we’re strong around him to get in this kind of a game [SB XLIV] here.”

The bus came to a screeching halt. The driver must have realize what he had done. However, the next sound, a grinding of gears, rear lights blinked, and the bus began to roll backward, slowly at first but with each revolution of its six tires, picking up speed:

bu-dump, bu-dump – bu-dump dump.

Truth and pain…

Ouch.

Tags: champion, championship, football, head coach, jack del rio, jacksonville jaguars, jaguars, jim rome, joe montana, miami, montana, peyton manning, quarterback, quarterbacks, super bowl

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