Pro Wrestling Ponderings

The show begins with “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase being introduced. That laugh is just iconic in the wrestling industry. HOLY SHIT! HE’S GOT THE MILLION DOLLAR BELT! I can’t explain how happy I am about that. You should be too. The good feelings don’t last long, though, as DiBiase brings out Cody Rhodes and his son, Ted DiBiase Jr. After all these years, the man can cut a great promo. Such a smooth talker. I mean he went from being beloved from nostalgia, to praising Priceless and getting them to boo him like hell. Rhodes and DiBiase Jr. pray for the day they’ll be able to get this amount of heat on their own. DiBiase isn’t allowed to make title matches, but he’s still got a lot in store for Raw tonight. Due to Henry putting a real hurting on Orton last week, DiBiase gives Cody Rhodes a match with MARK HENRY! As for his son, he saw the way he looked at Orton at The Bash. Because of it, he’s giving him a match tonight… against Randy Orton! Right before we go to commercial break, Edge and Chris Jericho make their way out for a stand-off with Rhodes and DiBiase Jr.

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Loved their match last week, hopefully it’s more of the same. We start out with Carlito and Edge this week. Carlito controls early, but gets cut off with a Big Boot from Edge. Edge tags out, with Jericho coming in and hitting a back elbow and Belly-To-Back Suplex for a 2 count. This match is going a lot different than last week. Carlito and Primo didn’t have the hot start, because Edge and Jericho have a 2 vs. 2 match under their belt against them, and know what to do to avoid that. Jericho slaps on a wear down hold, but Carlito fights up, hit’s the ropes, and gets his Springboard Back Elbow. Primo with the hot tag and he just takes the Tag Team Champions DOWN. As well he should, he’s been on the apron the whole match! Primo gets locked up in the ropes and Carlito frees his arms up. Edge charges in for the Spear, but Primo moves out of the way, leaving CARLITO on the apron to take the charge! Primo gets a quick roll-up on Edge for 2. Carlito tries to come back into the ring but this just distracts the ref. Edge pushes Primo towards Jericho, who hit’s the CODE BREAKER! Primo is still on his feet, staggered, and Edge drills him with the Spear! ONE! TWO! THREE! Post match, Carlito LOSES it and tosses Primo into the turnbuckle, to the outside, over the announce table, and just generally fucks his shit up.

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We’re back and the five people traded to Raw are glossed over again. Evan Bourne, Gail Kim, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry and Alicia Fox. I’d like to note that of them all, Bourne got far and away the biggest reaction. That pleases me. Henry didn’t do too bad, either, in the cheers department. Swagger got some solid boos. Alicia Fox got a whooooole lot of nothing.

If you don’t know the drill by now, I just don’t bother with PBP or star ratings for women’s matches. Call me whatever you want to, I’m just not interested. I still watch, but I’m never inclined to do write-ups for them. I’ll say this, though, Gail Kim did an awesome Cross Body through the ropes in the corner, and then sat on Alicia’s head when she went for a shoulder to the gut through the ropes. Not to mention that pulled in Big Boot to the face that she stole from Chuck Taylor (Who probably stole that from someone else)

Backstage, Rhodes tries to buy Ted DiBiase off so he doesn’t have to wrestle Mark Henry tonight. Seriously? Really? Did he run that idea by anyone else before actually putting it in motion. Seeing him try to sing Dusty Rhodes’ song was pretty great. Too bad Ted DiBiase HATES Dusty Rhodes, due to him being in the Hall of Fame, and not DiBiase. I really hope he makes Cody wear the polka dots. That way his Yellow and Green “Robin” trunks won’t be at the top of the list of “Shit outfits I’ve worn while getting my ass kicked.” What would DiBiase want to have to do with The son of a son of a plumber, anyways?

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It still makes my head want to explode that just standing up to Randy Orton can get Mark Henry so over as a face. But then again, barring a swerve later on where Ted turns on his dad, DiBiase might get pretty over too. I guess Orton is the heel to get new faces over. I can deal with that. I’m sure he can, too, you can never have enough of a heel like that. Oh, right, there’s a match going on. Well there was, but Henry catches Rhodes off a Cross Body, and hit’s the World’s Strongest Slam! Rhodes very, very smartly rolls to the outside and takes the count out loss. Looks better on his record than taking a pin fall, that’s for sure.

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Something small, but DiBiase is wearing red tights as opposed to Orton and Rhodes who had black. You might not always recognize it, but those are little things that you store in the back of your mind to differentiate people in the ring. Orton dominates early, having the experience, size, and power advantage. Another cool little thing: They do the indy standoff Headlock/Head Scissors spot, and they separate and stare head other down but don’t wait for the crowd to applaud. This isn’t about the crowd. This is between the two of them. Orton backs Ted into the ropes and yells “WHY?” and Ted simply responds with a punch! A Dropkick sends Orton to the outside, and that’s quickly followed up with a Baseball Slide sending Orton on his ass! He’s stunned as Teddy Jr. is intense and ready in the ring.

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We’re back with Orton in control with his chin lock. I think I’ll always love Orton’s stomps around the body. It’s just such a heel-ish thing to do. DiBiase gets a few quick roll-ups but Orton kicks out of them, and lays him OUT with a straight punch to the head. Randy is being really disrespectful with the unnecessary kicks to the ribs. Great character moment as Orton has Ted ready for the DDT in the ropes and he says “I didn’t want to do this Ted…” and just waits there, knowing he has Ted exactly where he wants him. Match should be over, but Ted kicks out at 2! Orton is shocked, and goes for another cover. He only gets 2 again. High Knee Drop gets another 2 count, making Randy go back to the chin lock to try and wear DiBiase down more. DiBiase starts his comeback, going to the second rope and nailing a Flying Forearm to Orton! ONE! TWO! THR- KICKOUT! A Neck Breaker to his back sets up the RKO… NO! BACKSLIDE! ONE! TWO! THRE- KICKOUT! Orton hit’s the ropes but gets caught with a Power Slam by DiBiase! ONE! TWO! THRE- KICKOUT! Ted goes for his Cobra Clutch Leg Sweet (Dream Street) but Orton throws him forward, and when they get back to their feet, immediately hits an RKO! ONE! TWO! THREE!

Backstage, HHH vows to do whatever it takes to whoever is in front of him to get a shot at Orton for the WWE Title at Night Of Champions. All bets are off.

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His guest is “The All-American American” Jack Swagger. MVP’s first question is how it felt to make his debut and show his cowardice by taking a Count Out. “I went to the University of Oklahoma! Do you know what that means!?” “That you couldn’t get into a better school?” Win. Swagger goes below the belt, calling MVP out on being in jail for 10 years. MVP takes it in stride, though, admitting his past failures, and how he uses it to influence teens now to help them make the choices he didn’t. Holy sweet God, did Jack Swagger just say “Dawg”? Win again. MVP says Swagger must’ve never learned the difference between an excuse and an explanation. There’s another big difference between them. MVP has NEVER backed down from a fight… and there goes Swagger out of the ring. That was a downright amazing segment. The crowd now has more of a chance to get over, because the crowd relates to him past saying “BALLIN’!” MVP is now an honest man, who admits his faults (Which everyone has. Faces are perfect, either), owns up to them, and explains how it’s changed his life for the better. I love it!

Backstage, Jr. is distraught and Sr. is all smiles. He gave it all he could, and he’s very, very proud of his son. Jr. doesn’t see it that way, though, and SLAPS THE SHIT out of his dad. Again, he got cheered during the match for going up against Orton, but he’s not a face. And now he’s listened to his dad, and tried to fight the leader of the group he’s in, and lost, just like he figured he would before his dad gave him the pep talk. Now what does he do? Apologize? Go it alone? Just great story telling.

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They do some hold for hold into a quick pin fall sequence, until Bourne misses an Enziguri, allowing Kofi to lock on a Single Leg Boston Crab. That was pretty spiffy. They trade Headlocks again, but not for long, both wanting to speed up the pace. Kofi hit’s a Springboard Cross Body and goes for his leap up 10 punches in the corner, but Bourne gets a knee up! Kofi is down! SHOOTING STAR PRESS BY BOURNE! ONE! TWO! THREE! After the match, The Big Show comes out and just lays Bourne and Kingston to waste. I loved Bourne getting the win, but this would’ve worked better if Show had come out during a hot portion of the match with lots of action, that way the crowd felt cheated out of a great match. As it is, he came out after everything was said and done and the crowd was more indifferent than emotionally involved.

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Backstage, Cena says tonight has turned into Wrestlemania. It’s about the WWE Universe. Cena agrees that all bets are off tonight. It’s two forces clashing and only one can come out the victor.

I love that this match will be getting 15-20 minutes. It’s pretty much the biggest match WWE can do. Take that how you want, seeing as it’s been the biggest match they could do since 2006, too. I got to see this match live at Wrestlemania 22. It was insane to be a part of that crowd.

On topic, this has a really, really, really big feel to it. They both stand off in the middle of the ring. Just a slow look to the crowd gets huge ovations. Neither needs to take a cheap shot. They gain nothing by cutting corners, because they want to be able to say they beat the other man fair and square. More shit talking from both men, and they trade punches. The crowd is super into this. Cena goes for his comeback sequence with the multiple Shoulder Tackles, but HHH isn’t worn down nearly enough, getting a High Knee. HHH goes to whip Cena into the corner, but Cena reverses, sending HHH into the corner AND UP AND OVER THE ROPES TO THE OUTSIDE! Always a great bump to keep the crowd on their feet and not settle into only watching, not participating and reacting. Cena goes to follow up with an Attitude Adjustment on the outside, but again, HHH isn’t nearly worn down enough, and he sends Cena’s head into the steel steps!

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We’re back and HHH puts all he has into whipping Cena into the turnbuckles. It’s little things like that, that separate a HHH from the rest. He knows how to work the crowd and makes things look as believable as you can in a very publicly announced fake sport. Cena gets a small glimmer of hope with a comeback, but HHH cuts that shit off like a Jew and his foreskin. Too Much? HHH is really working over Cena’s back, which is smart. Not due to the Pedigree, but if you take out the core, it’s a lot harder to kick out, or lift someone up for say, an Attitude Adjustment? These two guys make something so mundane like trading punches into a must-see, can’t-miss EVENT. The crowd is game, too, cheering or booing for just about anything. No dead spots because the crowd is constantly involved. Cena starts his comeback sequence again, but HHH kills that shit dead with a big Clothesline, and a Spinebuster. Pedigree attempt by HHH, but Cena back drops him out. That had to be hell on his back. Cena hit’s the ropes for another Shoulder Tackle but HHH cuts it off with a Sleeper! Freakin’ brilliant. Use his momentum against him, and regain some composure for yourself. But Cena powers out, and pushes HHH into the ropes… AND SLAPS ON A SLEEPER OF HIS OWN! It’s so basic, but they work it so well, with HHH fighting desperately to get out. He knows how powerful the Sleeper is, he just tried to use it to win! It takes him a little while, but HHH breaks out of it, dropping Cena with a Belly-To-Back Suplex. Cena and HHH are slow to their feet, getting up at 7 and 8 respectively. They trade punches again, and this has to be euphoria for these two men. They’re just trading punches, and the crowd is eating it up with a spoon and asking for thirds. Cena breaks that shit up, though, and nails his Flipping Neck Breaker, but misses his Leg Drop to the back of the head! Pedigree! NO! JACK KNIFE COVER BY CENA! ONE! TWO! THR- NO! ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! NO! HHH WITH THE ROLL UP! ONE! TWO! THR- NO! Drop Toe Hold! STF TO HHH! But he’s so close to the ropes, he grabs them relatively quickly! Cena pulls him away from the ropes and goes for the STF again but gets School Boyed! ONE! TWO! THR- NO! Slingshot into the corner to HHH! HHH staggers out… ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! NO! HHH holds onto the ropes! Both men charge and hit a double Clothesline! These two are SPENT, but the crowd being so into it is probably helping them recharge quite a lot. SHIT! Orton sends out Rhodes and DiBiase to stop the match!

Orton says it’s a double DQ, but Ted DiBiase is out to squash that! Orton says neither man won, but DiBiase says neither man LOST! It’s a Triple Threat Match against Cena and HHH at Night Of Champions! His plan backfired!

This was a great Raw. Solid matches all the way through to the exciting conclusion, DiBiase Sr. really added to the show very time he was on screen (like old times) and I’m looking forward to next week. See everybody next Monday!

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