Pro Wrestling Ponderings

After seven years of damn near perfect matches and awe inspiring loyalty to the fans of Ring of Honor, Ring of Honor is losing another founding father. He takes a trip to the fed, and in my humble opinion, no one can fault him or even fault the fed for taking him. No matter what the reason, Byran Danielson has deserved to be on a national product for years and now is his chance. Hopefully he’ll make the most of it and perhaps we could see a Kaval/Low Ki against Danielson in FCW and even possibly on the ECW brand. But despite those lofty goals there is still one last thing that Danielson could do for Ring of Honor. Actually, it’s more like what his leaving could do for Ring of Honor.

Bryan Danielson is on his ‘Final Countdown’ tour for his last showings in ROH. Six events that will showcase what ROH has meant to him and how ROH will honor his body of work throughout ROH history. But this could also be one of the few times that ROH will have the opportunity to entertain once more the fans that used to come to shows. We have all heard how some of the once ROH faithful have stopped coming to shows and stopped buying DVDs as loyally as they used to. Granted, in the current state of the economy, it’s not entirely responsible to buy in the large quantities that we used to, but at the same time it also speaks of the discontent for the product that they have. But the ability to see one of those who entertained us for the last time in the promotion that brought us such great memories, I believe they will take the time to come out to see his final matches.

What better time than now to show those who used to be so vocal and passionate that the product has changed and yet is coming back to the root of what made it great. Show case the story lines that made them buy every DVD or made them come out in the debt of night amidst horrid weather conditions just so they could see what was coming next. They made up a large part of the revenue and from trusted reports, we have all but had it confirmed that sales are down and ticket sales are not what they once where. But they could be at that level again, especially if you can show those who used to come out in droves that you can give them the product they used to clamor for.

Of course, nothing can stay the same forever. I am sure they don’t expect it to stay the same, but at the same time a watered down product for the sake of watering it down for the masses does no justice to those who were here from the beginning. Toning down a style for the sake of safety for the talent makes sense. Toning down a product that is too controversial and not monetarily responsible makes sense. But neither was the case in Ring of Honor. There was a changing of the guard. A changing of the backstage team and of course there is always a want to showcase something unique and different from the former. But to lose so many that used to support the product and not realize that some things should go back to how they used to be could be financially irresponsible. I have my own opinions as to what made ROH so intriguing in the beginning and after the rebirth and so on and so forth, but in the end it was the fans interest in the deep rooted stories that were being told in and out of the ring that brought them back.

I’m not one of those saying that the current product is all crap. In fact I’d be willing to make the argument that 80 percent of it is great stuff and handled very well. But it is that 20 percent that has made really turned away droves of fans and droves of possible income that obviously has affected the company over all. Sure other decisions, in hindsight, probably weren’t as good as they should or could have been but now is a time to rediscover what it is the fans want. These fans that ARE going to show up, if only for one last time to see their hero make his final performance are going to stay for the entire show. So there is that ability to give them a damn good show. A show that is going to make them reassess where they felt the product was going and where it actually is, and even more importantly, what it is going to become.

And maybe we’ll come back.

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Key Arena – Seattle, Washington – 2.15.09

DVD Release Date: March 17, 2009

MATCH #1: Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship – Edge vs. Triple H vs. Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show vs. Vladimir Kozlov

In qualifying matches: Undertaker beat Mark Henry (Smackdown 1/30); Big Show beat Festus (Smackdown 1/30); Triple H beat Vladimir Kozlov and The Great Khali in a three-way match (Smackdown 1/30); and Vladimir Kozlov won a 15-man battle royal (Smackdown 2/6). Edge has been the champion since 1.25.09, and this is his first defense. It’s not too often that Undertaker comes out first on a pay-per-view. Edge gets fantastic heel heat; I miss him. Hardy and Edge start the match, and Hardy wants revenge. The challenger is on a roll right away, knocking Edge down with a series of clotheslines. Edge comes back with a big boot. He tries to put Hardy away but can’t do so just yet. Hardy comes back with a headscissors, and hits his legdrop and a dropkick to the face. He’s able to hit the Twist of Fate, but then misses the Swanton. Edge tries a Spear, but Hardy rolls him up in an inside cradle and Edge is gone at about 3:04! The crowd pops huge as they both get the satisfaction of Edge getting some comeuppance and the realization that a new WWE Champion will be crowned. Edge is livid. Hardy gets a few moments to rest before Kozlov is released from his cage. Kozlov levels Hardy with a big boot and then drives shoulders into his midsection. Hardy fights back and tries a leap off the second rope but Kozlov gets a battering ram right into the sternum. Kozlov takes the fight to Hardy outside the ring, ramming him into the chamber wall, and then dumping him back in the ring for a two-count. The Moscow Mauler is dominating here. Hardy slips out of a powerslam and dropkicks Kozlov into the turnbuckle and hits the corner dropkick. He follows up with Whisper in the Wind, and while both men are down Big Show enters the fray. Show goes right after Hardy while Kozlov regroups. Hardy is in big trouble now, getting double-teamed by Show and Kozlov. After several minutes of working together, Kozlov knocks Show down with a shoulderblock. Show gets up and they trade shots. The next man in the match is the Game. He goes right after Show with a knee to the face, and has one for Kozlov as well. He even hits Show with a spinebuster! Hardy comes in and tries the Twist of Fate on Triple H, but the freshest man in the match avoids it and hits a clothesline. He then dumps Kozlov to the steel and tries a Pedigree, but Show breaks it up for some reason. Show hits a side suplex on Triple H for a two-count. The crowd gets fired up for the waiting Undertaker, while Show hits a press slam on Triple H and Kozlov abuses Hardy. Show takes Hardy and Triple H outside the ring, and misses a charge into the wall. Triple H and Hardy then double-suplex Kozlov, and then Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind. Finally Undertaker comes out and he tears into Show. The crowd is pleased. Undertaker is an equal opportunity butt-kicker here, going after everyone. He takes Show down with a big clothesline and then grabs Triple H and goes for Old School. He changes flight mid-move and jumps onto Show outside the ring, and hits a devastating DDT! That was awesome. Kozlov stops Undertaker’s momentum and drives him into the corner. He stupidly goes for mounted punches and Undertaker hits the Last Ride to eliminate Kozlov at 23:00. Show recovers and hits Undertaker with a Chokeslam. Triple H goes for a Pedigree, but Show backdrops him onto the steel. Show then hurls Hardy right into Triple H as Kozlov is making his way out of the chamber. Hardy winds up getting crotched on top of one of the pods in an awesome spot. Show tries to grab Hardy off the top of the pod, but Undertaker comes up and hits a superplex. Triple H nails Show with the Pedigree. Hardy then comes off the top of the pod with a Swanton Bomb, and Triple H grabs the pin to eliminate Show at 26:13. Undertaker whips Triple H over the corner and onto the steel, and then turns his attention to Hardy, who has been in this match much longer than either of the other two competitors left. Triple H breaks up an Old School attempt and everyone is down. Moments later Undertaker nails Hardy with the Tombstone to eliminate him at 28:32. Undertaker takes first advantage, slugging away at Triple H in the corner. He misses a charge in the corner and they take the fight to the steel outside the ring. Triple H whips Undertaker into the wall and they go back to the ring. He tries jumping off the top rope but he gets caught in an Undertaker chokeslam for a two-count. Undertaker hits Snake Eyes, but Triple H comes back with a spinebuster for two. They migrate back to the steel and Triple H tries a Pedigree. Undertaker blocks it and catapults Triple H into the wall. He then pulls Triple H back into the ring with a Tombstone, but Triple H gets hit foot on the bottom rope! They struggle back to their feet and Triple H hits a Pedigree, but Undertaker kicks out! They get up and trade punches. For some reason Triple H goes for the Mounted Punches and Undertaker tries the Last Ride but Triple H avoids it! Triple H hits another Pedigree and this time gets the pin and wins the Title for the thirteenth time at 35:58. That was an awesome match with some really cool spots both involving and not involving the chamber. I also love the booking of taking Edge out just minutes into the match. Everyone worked hard here, and the final stuff between Triple H and Undertaker was great stuff.
Rating: ****¼

MATCH #2: No Holds Barred Match – Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton

Orton walks right into a punch in the face to start the match, and then another one. Shane hits more punches and Orton doesn’t hit any. Alas, I spoke too soon – Orton comes back with a bunch of punches. They take it to the floor and start bringing the weapons out. Orton hits that inverted backbreaker he does, and then rams Shane into the ring apron. Back in the ring the fight continues, slowly. Shane fights back with a kendo stick, and the fight spills back to the floor. He takes Orton down with a clothesline, and then cranks him in the face with a TV monitor. He sets Orton on the table and goes up top for the big elbow, but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase come out and put the boots to him. Legacy tries to use a chair, but Super Shane fights them off while Stephanie watches on backstage. Orton is a bloody mess. Shane sets Rhodes up for the Coast to Coast and hits it. Since Orton is still lying on the table, Shane goes back up top and goes for the elbow, but Orton moves and Shane crashes through the table. Orton gets back in the ring and sends Legacy to the back to make sure Rhodes is okay. Shane struggles back to the ring, and Orton hits the spike DDT for two, of course. Orton sets up a table and superplexes Shane through it. That gets just another two-count. Orton sets up for the Punt but Shane stops him with a spear. Shane grabs the chair and goes after Orton’s ankle. He’s set to pounce on Orton, but he comes charging in and Orton grabs an RKO to get the pin at 18:15. They tried hard and did a lot of big spots, but the match as a whole wasn’t very cohesive.
Rating: **¼

MATCH #3: ECW Championship Match – Jack Swagger vs. Finlay

Swagger has been the champion since 1.13.09, and this is his second defense. Why is the champion coming out first? Finlay is accompanied by Hornswoggle. He takes Swagger down right away and goes to work on the champion’s left leg. Swagger comes back and targets the arm. The crowd is not interested at all. Finlay counters a powerslam with an inverted DDT on the knee for a two-count. Swagger comes back and drives Finlay into the corner. He charges and Finlay sort of gets a rollup for a sort of near-fall. Swagger once again drives Finlay into the corner. He sets Finlay on the top turnbuckle, and Finlay knocks the champion down. Finlay gets control and goes up to the second rope for a cross body block for two. Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring apron and briefly distracts his dad. Finlay hits an Earthquake splash for two. Hornswoggle gets up on the apron, and ends up getting knocked down by his own father. That gives Swagger the opportunity to hit the Gut Wrench Powerbomb (that thing needs a name) to get the pin and retain the title at 7:59. I really like Swagger, but following a match with as many gimmicks as Orton and Shane had didn’t do any favors for the ECW Title match. And the Hornswoggle stuff just needs to stop.
Rating: *¾

MATCH #4: All or Nothing Match – Shawn Michaels vs. JBL

I think everyone breathed a sigh of relief when they announced they were blowing this match off on this show instead of WrestleMania. JBL tries to intimidate his employee, but Michaels fires back with a series of shots much to the crowd’s delight. He goes to the floor and tries to bait Michaels into using a chair, but HBK will have none of it. Back in the ring JBL blocks a sunset flip for a two-count. Michaels gets a backslide for one, and then JBL knocks him down with a shoulderblock. JBL hits an elbow drop for two. Michaels comes back and goes for the leg, locking JBL in the figure-four. JBL reaches the ropes, so Michaels then locks on the Crossface, which JBL counters to a pinning predicament for two. Michaels tries an Irish whip into the buckle but JBL reverses it and Michaels crashes to the floor. Back in the ring JBL hits a series of elbow drops for a near-fall. The much larger JBL overpowers Michaels for several minutes as the crowd tries to encourage HBK. JBL locks Michaels in a bearhug, but Michaels powers out and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Both men get back to their feet and Michaels gets a few shots in. JBL reverses a whip and sends Michaels flipping into the turnbuckle. He sets Michaels up top and goes for a superplex. Michaels blocks it and sends JBL down to the canvas. He tries the top-rope elbow but JBL moves out of the way. They get back to their feet and JBL hits the Clothesline from Hell for a two-count! JBL hits another one, and shoves Michaels to the floor. Michaels barely makes it back to the ring at the count of nine. JBL hurls Michaels back to the floor, and follows him out. He goes over to Shawn’s wife Rebecca, who slaps him right in the face. That fires her husband up, and they take it back to the ring. It’s Vintage Shawn Michaels all over the place. Michaels hits the Sweet Chin Music to get the pin and earn his independence at 13:19. The finish was fun because the crowd always gets hyped up for Shawn’s comebacks, but most of the match was as dull as most of JBL’s matches are.
Rating: **

MATCH #5: Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship – John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kofi Kingston Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Mike Knox vs. Kane

In qualifying matches, Kofi Kingston beat Kane (Raw 1/26); John Cena beat Shawn Michaels (Raw 1/26); Rey Mysterio beat William Regal (Raw 1/26); Chris Jericho beat CM Punk (Raw 1/26); Mike Knox won a battle royal (house show 2/1); and Kane got into the match by convincing his half-brother Undertaker to fight Randy Orton on Raw (Raw 2/2). Cena has been the champion since 11.23.08 and this is his third defense. When Kofi Kingston makes his entrance, former WWE Champion Edge appears and throws Kofi into the stairs and cracks a steel chair across his head! Edge then takes Kofi’s place in the pod! That’s awesome. Mysterio and Jericho will start the match. They trade some holds, and Mysterio gets the first advantage. Mysterio goes for an early 619 but Jericho avoids it. Even so Mysterio stays in control until he tries running into Jericho in the corner but Jericho moves and Mysterio crashes into Kane’s pod! That was cool. Jericho is firmly in control now, back dropping Mysterio onto the steel outside the ring. He tries a catapult, but Mysterio catches onto the wall and climbs up it to deliver an awesome headscissors. Back in the ring Mysterio hits a seated senton for two. Mysterio hits a bulldog, and Kane joins the match. Kane goes after everyone, and even intimidates Edge. He hits Mysterio with a side suplex for two. He then hits a low dropkick (!) for two. He clotheslines Jericho over the ropes to the steel and follows him out. It’s all Kane for several minutes until Jericho catches him with a Code Breaker. Mysterio dumps Jericho out of the ring, and then climbs to the top of a pod to hit Kane with a seated senton to eliminate him at 9:36! Moments later Knox joins the match and goes right after Mysterio. He also goes after Jericho, throwing everybody around. Knox goes for a Shellshock on Mysterio, but Jericho catches him with a Code Breaker to get the elimination at 14:40. Edge is the next one out, and Mysterio doesn’t wait for him to escape the pod! Mysterio is avenging his friend Kofi Kingston. Edge lies in wait and takes advantage when both Jericho and Mysterio are vulnerable. He tries a Spear on Mysterio, who moves, and Jericho tries the Code Breaker but Edge avoids it. Mysterio gets Edge in position for a 619, and Jericho again blocks it with a Spear. They do a Tower of Doom spot and everyone is down. Edge gets control and the Champ Is Here! Cena goes right after Edge, and has plenty for Jericho too. He goes for the Attitude Adjustment on Edge, but Jericho breaks it up with a Code Breaker. That sets Cena up to take the 619 from Mysterio. Edge then pins Cena to eliminate the champ at 22:18. It hasn’t been a good night for the champions. Mysterio fights off both opponents. He hits a 619 on Jericho, but when he goes for a springboard rana Jericho catches him in the Walls of Jericho. Mysterio reverses that to a rollup and Jericho is eliminated at 23:50! Edge sets up for a Spear but Mysterio avoids it and gets a rollup for two! A moonsault gets another two-count. A kick to the face gets yet another near-fall for Mysterio. He tries another moonsault but Edge catches him, and Mysterio reverses again for a DDT for another near-fall. Mysterio goes to the top rope and Edge knocks him down to the steel. Edge tries a powerbomb but Mysterio reverses it to a facebuster! Mysterio executes a reverse 619. Mysterio charges at Edge and gets thrown into the pod! Back in the ring Edge hits a Spear to get the pin at win his eighth World Title at 29:43. Edge losing his title early on but then leaving with the other belt is pretty awesome, and builds intrigue, since both World Titles are in the hands of Smackdown wrestlers now. I thought they’d have trouble living up to the first chamber match, but they did it.
Rating: ****¼

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Hello everyone! This is Jason Sterlacci filling in for this week’s Impact Report. For those of you who don’t know, I normally write “I’m With Stupid,” which runs down the stupidest moments in the wrestling week. Naturally, this makes me the perfect person to cover Impact.

I swear I’m joking. Sort of.

Enough stalling from me…let’s get into this week’s Impact!

August 27, 2009

The show opens in the parking lot with Sting and AJ Styles arriving. For those that missed last week, AJ was considering retirement until Sting came out to convince him of otherwise in a GREAT segment. Basically, AJ’s here to work tonight, so his crisis of faith in himself is gone. Kip James then comes out and offers to park Sting’s car. Sting tells him he doesn’t have to and then James mentions to Lauren that he used to have a car like Sting’s…when he was over.

You can tell that Vince Russo pitched that last line.

Match #1: Non-Title Match: X-Division Champion Samoa Joe v. Suicide

Daniels is out for commentary and Joe gives him a big ole staredown. Let me just note one more time; the commentary team is so much better without Don West.

Right as the bell rings, Suicide runs for Joe and Joe proceeds to start destroying Suicide. He lays in with punches, a whip, and a flying a-hole and before this becomes an immediate squash, Suicide hits a dropkick into the turnbuckle. D’Angelo Dinero comes down to observe, and as soon as Suicide gets thrown to the floor, Dinero involves himself. Dinero tries to throw him back in, and Suicide fights back. Then Joe gets involved…and Daniels does too! Hebner throws the match out and announces a tag match for later tonight.

Winner: No Contest

Rating: No Rating, the match was short and was meant to build to an angle later in the night.

We cut to backstage and Eric Young is with Lauren. Young is continuing his movement to get Hernandez in the World Elite and calls Hernandez a second class citizen just like him.

After a commercial, the World Elite is in the hexagon and Sheik Abdul Bashir is addressing the crowd. Bashir decides to talk about the Iraq War. Lots of heel heat, but not the good kind (though it was a good promo, don’t get me wrong). Young takes the mic and gets right back to talking about Hernandez. Within moments, Hernandez is out. Young does the hard sell to get Hernandez is, telling Big H (as I affectionately call him) that the fans think of him as a criminal because he’s Mexican. Young tells him to ‘come home’ to the World Elite and Big H says he is home where he is.

We go backstage and Lauren is with Traci Brooks and Sharmell. Sharmell says that their team isn’t worried about Kong and Raisha Saaed. One of them (I can’t be bothered to remember who right now) calls Kong an elephant and Saaed a trainer. So they’re going to get murdered.

After another break, Lauren is backstage talking about the Knockout Tag Title Tourney and Alex Shelley is zooming right in on her cleavage. Sabin walks in and is looking too. Then Dr. Stevie comes around and asks the MCMG to take care of Abyss.

Match #2: Knockouts Tag Title Tournament: Awesome Kong and Raisha Saaed v. The Main Event Mafia (Sharmell and Traci Brooks)

I think we all know where this is going. Kong goes after Brooks but Traci keeps ducking The Awesome One. Saaed and Sharmell go in and as soon as Sharmell gets pushed down, she tags out. Saaed gets two near-falls but the Main Event Mafia girls get an opportunity when Traci reverses a whip. Sharmell goes for Saaed and the distraction is enough for Traci to gain the upper hand. Traci does a running double knee to Saaed’s back and gets a 2. Brooks can’t capitalize as Saaed manages a tag to Kong. Kong destroys and Brooks barely gets out of an implant buster but gets nailed for her trouble. Kong climbs to the second rope (!) and connects a splash BUT Sharmell breaks up the pin. Kong chases after Sharmell and Saaed tags herself in to get the cover.

We get some post match tension as Kong looks upset that Saaed got the pin. Dissension?

Winners: Awesome Kong and Raisha Saaed

Rating: **1/2, fun match that was fast paced and balanced a potential Kong/Saaed angle with decent wrestling.

Matt Morgan goes into the MEM dressing room and Angle gives us a near “I’m With Stupid” moment when he notes that he’s much more experienced than Morgan….nearly a decade in the business compared to Morgan’s seven! It would have been better if Angle had mentioned his amateur experience rather than note that Morgan’s been wrestling almost as long as Angle. Regardless, Morgan mentions the four-way for the World Title at No Surrender and says that he’s in. So it’s Angle v. Morgan v. two to be decided. I’m assuming Sting and Styles.

Match #3: Jesse Neal v. Rhino

Neal goes to shake hands and gets destroyed by kicks. Neal is in the corner and getting booted. Rhino whips Neal and kicks him first in the gut and then in the head. We’ve got a squash on our hands! All that kicking gets a 2 count; Neal tries to get in some token offense but a whip becomes a spinebuster. That gets the 3.

NOT SO FAST, though. Rhino hits the gore and the ref reverses the decision.

Winner: Jesse Neal via disqualification

Rating: 1/2*, not a fan of that. The idea is that Jesse wants to persevere and succeed, I get it. I don’t think a squash that gets reversed is the way to do it. Moving on.

And now we have my lead item for next week’s “I’m With Stupid.” We’re backstage with Judge Mick Foley, ODB, and Cody Deaner. The Knockouts Title is going to be discussed but before we can begin with that Abyss comes in. Foley gives him a bag of groceries because “(Abyss) loves groceries.” Oh dear lord, this is making my brain hurt. Anyway, ODB argues she should be champ because she’s a woman and Deaner isn’t (good point). Deaner argues that he knocked out Mike Tyson while in Vegas in a reference to The Hangover that is ignored by Foley, who just does a Tyson impersonation. Deaner then says he knocked out Chuck Norris. We get a Chuck Norris joke, Foley says the title is officially HELD UP, and they’ll have a match to sort it out.

I need a drink.

Match #4: Handicap Match: Abyss v. The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin)

The MCMG jump Abyss and get some good double team offense in. They go for the suplex and Abyss reverses it for the upper hand. Abyss nails a side suplex on Shelley and chokeslams Sabin right on top. Abyss then goes 1 for 2 on avalanches (Shelley gets out of the way) and the Guns hit a dropkick and enziguiri simultaneously. Dropkicks a plenty and all three men are on the outside after a dropkick to the floor, cross body that gets caught, and tope. Abyss gets rolled in and Shelley goes for a cross body attempt that gets caught…yes, another. Sabin gets a 2 after a missile dropkick. A sliced bread is blocked and Abyss goes for Shock Treatment on Shelley. Sabin goes to break it up but gets a boot. Shelley gets hit by Shock Treatment as Sabin gets a leg. Shelley distracts the ref as Dr. Stevie comes down to interfere, Sabin goes for a springboard but gets the Black Hole Slam! That’s all she wrote.

Winner: Abyss

Rating: **1/4, not a bad match by any means, though I do have complaints about the Guns being jobbed out due to my own personal bias.

Stevie starts ripping into the Guns post-match, and he gets put in the Tree of Joey Lawrence and takes a dropkick for his troubles. Abyss has got a chair, but Kevin Nash is out as we go to commercial.

When Impact comes back from the break, Nash announces that he’s going to take Dr. Stevie’s bounty offer. It’s Nash v. Abyss at No Surrender in a match that I will be sure to avoid watching like the plague.

Lauren is backstage with Daffney. She’s going to square off with Hamada in our next match, which is Hamada’s debut. Daffney’s playing up the lunacy and talks about killing the sheep she counts for sleeping purposes.

Moving on.

Match #5: No-Disqualification Match, Daffney v. Hamada

I assume the match is No DQ to help Hamada get over real quick-like in the Impact Zone. Smart move if correct.

Daffney starts off strong with a snapmare, blockbuster, and chest kick that gets a 2. We get a chop-off that breaks down when Daffney hits a forearm and Hamada hits a good kick. Head shot! Daffney goes to the apron and Hamada kicks her in the head. NICE. The ladies are on the outside at the commercial break.

Daffney hits a running clothesline as the show resumes. She hits an elbow from the ropes for 2; Hamada gets whipped but she hits a superkick and enziguiri when Daffney charges. More chops, then headbutts, then a DDT all add up to a 2 count on Daff. Hamada goes for a spin kick that gets ducked and Daff follows through with a nice shining wizard that gets a 2. Hamada goes to the floor and I see a table. Daffney grabs a chair and swings but misses and hits the ringpost. Hamada nails Daffney with the chair, putting it around her head, and runs her into the post! NICE AGAIN. Daffney’s put on the table and Hamada hits a MOONSAULT THROUGH THE TABLE. NICE A THIRD TIME. A Michinoku Driver polishes off Daffney and that’s it! I like Hamada a lot.

Winner: Hamada

Rating: ***1/4, a really good match for free TV that accomplishes the goal of getting Hamada over post haste. I want to see more.

The Beautiful People are backstage at the commercial. When Impact comes back Sky and Love have found Madison Rayne. They tell her that they don’t care about her surprise partner, we get some piefacing, and Rayne gets beat down. NEXT!

Match #6: D’Angelo Dinero and X-Division Champion Samoa Joe v. Suicide and Daniels

Joe starts off with Suicide. Joe puts him in the kimura lock and tags in Dinero. He works on the other arm and takes a dropkick. Suicide tags in Daniels and they double team the Pope. Daniels hits a scoop slam and a split legged moonsault that gets a 2 count. Daniels goes for a whip that gets reversed and Joe knees him in the back; Dinero takes advantage and we get an STO as the show heads to break.

Joe is in now and he’s punching away at Daniels who hits an enziguiri and STO. Double tag! Suicide is in control on Dinero. We get some hands and a heel kick followed by a neckbreaker that gets 2. We get another two that’s broken up by Joe. Daniels comes in too and we’re back to a cluster. Is the ref gonna throw this out, too? Nope…Joe and Dinero clean house with the former hitting a clothesline on Suicide and the latter nailing Daniels with a German suplex. Suicide and Daniels are outside and Daniels moves as Joe goes for the tope. Split legged moonsault! Suicide is back in the ring and misses a cross body to Dinero. Dinero is measuring him up for the Experience (is he still calling it that?) and Suicide moves, gets an inside cradle, and gets the three!

Winners: Suicide and Daniels

Rating: **1/2, nothing to write home about, but this was still pretty entertaining.

Dixie is backstage. The three year deal with Spike is announced and Bobby Lashley explains his motivations for coming to TNA. Really not that bad of a segment, but kind of boring. Lashley v. Rhino is announced for No Surrender.

Match #7 (Main Event): Sting, AJ Styles, and Hernandez v. Matt Morgan and World Tag Team Champions Scott Steiner and Booker T

Kurt Angle comes out for commentary. He calls AJ a quitter. Sting and Booker start up. Sting gets the early upper hand with an inverted atomic drop and dropkick. Sting hits a hip toss and AJ is tagged in. Booker gets control and tags in Steiner. Want to guess what happens? If you say Styles gets control back and tags in Hernandez, pat yourself on the back! And now Morgan’s in! Hernandez tries and fails to take Morgan down and Morgan hits a clothesline that takes Big H to the canvas. Big H knees Morgan and puts the Blueprint into a delayed suplex. Morgan goes to the outside and Impact goes to commercial as Big H hits a Mexican Torpedo on the MEM while they’re regrouping.

Steiner’s got a chinlock on AJ when the show comes back. AJ breaks it but gets a belly-to-belly immediately. That’s good for 2 and the Blueprint comes in. He goes for a powerslam but AJ gets out of it and Big H is back in! Hernandez cleans house and Morgan gets tackled. Steiner breaks up the pin attempt and all six men are in the hexagon now. IT’S BREAKING DOWN ON THURSDAY NIGHT! The four illegal men go back outside and Hernandez misses on a charge. Morgan’s going to go for the Hellavator, but Steiner enters the ring with a chair. Morgan’s not so trusting, and Big H takes advantage. He pushes Morgan into the chair and AJ hits a cross body for the pin!

Morgan levels the Tag Champs and stares down Angle as the show concludes.

Winners: AJ Styles, Sting, and Hernandez

Rating: ***1/4, pretty good, plus the Morgan angle continues. I’m starting to believe that he will wind up World Champ, and this is what we call a “good loss.” Plus AJ gets his groove back by pinning the guy who caused him to have his doubts. All around good storytelling.

Overall: Pretty good show, but not perfect. Some of the backstage segments (Foley/Abyss/ODB/Deaner and The Beautiful People/Madison) were awful, but from an in-ring standpoint there were five matches that ranged from passable to good. The other two matches were a VERY short squash and a short non-finished opener that at least built to our semi-main.

Could Impact be improving to the point where “I’m With Stupid” will be passé just one week in? In all seriousness, this is two straight weeks of improving Impacts. This is a good building point for the future.

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Welcome to another week of Smackdown action. JR welcomes us to Phoenix for tonights show, bigging up the main event of Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk in a steel cage for the world championship.

CM Punk is introduced as the only straight edge heavyweight champion in history as he makes his way down to the ring. According to JR, the TLC match Hardy and Punk had at Summerslam was “physical purgatory”. No idea what that’s supposed to mean but it sounds cool. Punk enters the ring and starts putting over straight edge again, although it’s all good stuff. The TLC match at Summerslam is recapped “in case you were all too intoxicated to remember”. Punk complains that he was robbed of his celebratory moment at Summerslam by the Undertaker and says its unfair that he has to compete in a steel cage match tonight. Jeff Hardy enters and Punk tells Hardy that the situation between the two of them has risen to such an extent that one of them has to leave WWE and, as such, the loser of tonight’s steel cage match will have to leave the company. Teddy Long comes out and confirms this stipulation before adding that the winner of the match will face the Undertaker at the Breaking Point pay per view.

John Morrison & Matt Hardy vs. The Hart Dynasty - Matt and Tyson Kidd start the match, as Natayla loiters on the outside of the ring. Morrison is tagged in and the duo perform a sweet leg sweep/leg trip combo followed by a legdrop from Morrison. Matt tags back in Kidd takes control before Smith tags in and beats on Hardy. Matt manages to get the tag and Morrison gets the btter of Smith. Kidd comes in to break up a pinfall attempt, Hardy dumps him over the top rope and follows him out with a clothesline off the apron. Morrison goes for a slingshot kick off the ropes, but DH catches him in mid air. John slides out of the slam attempt and sends him into the corner, quickly hitting an enziguri. Morrison hits Starship Pain for the win. A nice lttle match with Morrison in particular look as impressive as ever.

Next we see Melina explaining her concerns to Maria regarding the latter’s relationship with Dolph Ziggler. Unconvincing acting abounds. Melina says she Dolph with another woman at Summerslam but Dolph enters and explains it was just his sister. That’s good enough for Maria apparently.

Drew McIntyre vs. R-Truth - Nice to see a Scotsman on Smackdown. McIntyre attacks Truth during his enterance, kicking him in the head and delivering what looked to be a double-arm DDT to R-Truth. He cuts a promo saying “the party’s over”.

Melina vs. Layla - Michelle McCool is out for a promo, saying that due to being attacked last week by Melina she can’t compete and so has Layla replacing her. After a little bit of Melina hits her “Primal Scream”  finisher for a quick pinfall victory. After the three count, Melina pushes the injured McCool over her chair. Er… who’s the babyface here? It’s hard to emotionally invest in a feud when both people engaged in it are kinda unlikeable.

Rey Mysterio vs Kane - A fairly dull match that ends with Kane getting disqualified for repeatedly ramming the freshly suspended Rey Mysterio into the ring post. And then the Great Khali comes out. Oh, for fucks sake. My fears over this feud continuing after Summerlsam have been confirmed. Runjan Singh give Khali a singapore cane shot, Khali give Kane a cane shot and I died a little inside. Ziggler also runs in and attacks Rey. I think it’s a foregone conclusion who Mysterio will be dropping the belt to next week, before her serves out his suspension.

Chris Jericho vs Shad - Shad dominates the match, administering a press slam and power slam leading to a pin attempt by Shad but Big Show pulls Jericho out of the ring. JTG also joins in and all four men are battle on the outside. Teddy Long comes out and says the match will be restarted as a tag-team contest. JTG and Jericho start before Show gets a cheap shot on JTG and tags into the match, as Jericho goes over to yell at the announcers again. Awesome. Eventually Big Show makes a blind tag as Jericho gets slammed. When Shad turns around gets nailed by Show’s punch of doom and  pins him for the victory.

Steel Cage Match for World Heavyweight Title: CM Punk vs Jeff Hardy - Jeff enters first and Punk runs down behind him and attacks. Punk gets some shots in on Jeff and then tosses him into the ring. Punk to escape the cage several times early on  but Jeff catches him as he reaches the top each time. Hardy manages to deliver the Whisper in the Wind for a two count. Post adverts, we see Jeff climbing the cage, but being caught by Punk. Hardy is able to kick him off and follows with a crossbody for a two count. Jeff tries to climb again but Punk stops him and tries to super-plex him off the top. Hardy fights it off and hits the Swanton Bomb for a close two. Punk tries to climb while Jeff crawls for the door but Punk runs to stop him.

After another frickin’ ad break, we return to see CM Punk crawling out of the door but Jeff stops him. Punk goes for the Go To Sleep but Jeff reverses it into a backslide for a two count. Punk goes for the Go To Sleep again but Hardy reverses it once more, into a Twist of Fate. Hardy begins to climb the cage. Punk catches him as he reaches the top. He gets pulled back in and CM Punk hits the super-plex from the top. Punk starts climbing and Hardy catches him as he reaches the top of the cage. The two throw punches but Punk wins and Jeff goes crashing down to the mat. CM Punk drops down outside of the ring and retains the World Heavyweight Championship.

Punk heads back up the ramp waving goodbye to Jeff. Jeff grabs a mic and says thanks to his fans and that “this isn’t goodbye forever just goodbye for now”. As Jeff poses on the stage, Punk jumps him from behind and hits him with the title belt. The champion strikes a pose over Hardy as the show goes of the air.

Another good episode of Smackdown, consistent with recent weeks, and the Punk-Hardy saga came to a satisfying conclusion. It was slightly sad to see Jeff go after all his good work over the past few months but with talent like Morrison, Ziggler, Mysterio (well, after his suspension) and Punk, Smackdown’s certainly in safe hands until Jeff decides to return.

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Welcome all ye who dare enter CHIKARMY Insider: Revolutions. Where the unbelievable is real and reality is…still very really. Don’t get any funny ideas. If you die in CHIKARMY Insider, you die in the real world. Your mind makes it real. Also, you know how your abilities only sensibly work within The Insider? Well, by the second movie, they’ll inexplicably work outside of it, too. Don’t question it, but when you realize it in a moment of panic, pass out directly afterward. Then, after your girlfriend dies, become some sort of bizarro world Jesus and die for our technological sins. Then repeat, if you believe the bearded voyeur guy in the room full of TVs. I think that’s how it happened. Man, this got weird quick. I don’t apologize.

So this week’s edition starts off with a blog post from Mike Quackenbush stating that, even though he’s only at 50%, he’ll still a fighter. Next comes the part where the QuackenSaw tag in Massachusetts is mysteriously cancelled. Confused? So was I. Well, it turns out that it all relates to the announcement of Bryan Danielson’s return to Chikara Pro, as part of his farewell tour that most are calling The Final Countdown. I think I’ll call it American Dragon’s Treacherous Traversing of Mount WWE (Why Doesn’t He Just Fly?). The answer to that is simple: now that Rey Mysterio has been suspended for “Spanky-ing”, only Evan Bourne may fly. Just so long as he doesn’t fly high, apparently. Anyway, Danielson requested a special match-up for his last Chikara match, revealed below. Finally, Chikara is running a massive secret but not-so-secret sale on their website. Information’s below. Visit their store and receive 5 cool points courtesy of Napa Auto Care. Napa: Now with 12% More Auto Care! Read on!

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Added to Man Makes Plans, and God Laughs:

If you plan on being anywhere in the Massachusetts area on September 19^th, around seven o’clock or so, be sure to stop by the Elk Lodge on Morgan Lake to witness…not the tag match a promised you a couple of weeks ago. I über hyped that sucker, and now it ain’t happenin’. I’m not going to revel in the past here, folks. I’ m gonna keep this hype train going strong, which is easy when the first replacement match-up announced is “Very European” Claudio Castagnoli vs. “The Pumpkined Punisher” Hallowicked. God I love monikers. Jerome recently allowed me to be Czar of Funk on our group Facebook page, so it’s only gonna get nuttier from here. As for the match-up, it ought to speak for itself, as both men not only rank among Chikara’s tallest opponents, but they are also two of the company’s most talented. This is Hallowicked’s first singles match this year, and he’ll look to make the most of it at the expense of a streaking Double C, who holds wins over Tim Donst and Eddie Kingston in his last few solo contests.

So we won’t get any Frightmare / Jigsaw exchanges just yet, but “The Little Lunatic” will get his hands on the guy who pulled off the biggest upset of Young Lions Cup VII: Brendan Michael Thomas (who, as it turns out, is not the guy from Home Improvement). Frightmare was unseated by the pink-clad fro-warrior in his Chikara debut, and another win over Frightmare would go a long way in ensuring consistent role in the company for BMT. By the way, I had a BMT today for lunch, and it was amazing. I’m not even kidding. My best friend works at Subway, and she hooks me up with a free sandwich whenever I behave or do something nice. I, uh…I don’t get as many sandwiches as you might think.

Well, it’s official: The Sea Donsters are no more. No more sing-a-longs. No more camaraderie. No more hugs. Tim Donst, after suffering defeat to Hydra at YLC7: Night 1, seemed to be genuinely happy for his young friend. Well it all went wrong on the third night of the Young Lions Cup, as Donst turned on his former sea mate, destroying him in the middle of the ring. Donst explained why in a blog post on a fan site supporting a Blade Runner remake. I killed them all. Donst rips Hydra on Chikara’s site, saying “When will you get it? You were nothing but comic relief with the Temple, and as a Sea Donster you made me nothing more than a joke! Well come September, no one is going to be laughing when I tear you limb from limb.” Wowsers. Sounds like someone needs to snack on some Combos, watch Twilight, have a good cry with his girlfriends, and eat pillow. Donst elaborated further, stating his agenda: First, I’m going to have my revenge for YLC: Night 1, and then I’m going take the Cup. By any means necessary. I think we can all get behind this chant: Go Hydra Go Hydra Go-Go-Go! Or something similar.

Colin Delaney, still reeling from his loss in the finals of the Young Lions Cup tournament to Player Dos, will have to try and avoid a slump if he’s to best the “Old Timey King of Swing” Dasher Hatfield. Create-A-Wrestler’s latest encarnation is his most successful yet, nearly getting to the finals of the YLC himself before getting thrown out at home…eliminated by Colin Delaney as the last man in the Six-Man Eliminator. Like a batter nailed in back after hitting a dinger, Dasher will be looking for vengeance against the man that had to throw absolutely every he had at him, including blatant Pete Rose-level cheating, to beat him. But it’s a fresh set of downs for Hatfield. Wait, that’s a football reference. Well, I only have so many baseball ones before I gotta tap a deeper well, and football’s a sport I just know a little better. There’s really nothing better than a cold beer on a hot summer’s day at Turner Field, though. Seriously, go outside. I betcha it’s beautiful out…unless you live on the East Coast, then you might wanna stay indoors. Someone named Danny might kick you right in the whole body if he gets a look at you.

Added to Hiding in Plain Sight:

For Bryan Danielson’s final match in Chikara, he requested a very special match-up. Apparently, this plea involved teaming with long-time buddy and increasingly heelish Swiss giant, Claudio Castagnoli. Their opponents might be the most underappreciated tag team anywhere in the States, a fact which should change come September 6^th in Chicago at DGUSA’s second event. On that show, Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw will tag together in a heated and bitter match with company versus company implications. A week later, on September 13^th in Nashua, things look a tad brighter, but make no mistake: Bryan Danielson is a competitor. Exit or no exit, wins and losses matter to him. Whether this will play as a friendly rivalry or heated reflection of their history, one thing for certain is that NEW HAMPSHIRE IS FULL OF SOME LUCKY FOLKS. LUCKY, LUCKY FOLKS. DRAGON. QUACK. CLAUDIO. JIGSAW. I HATE NEW HAMPSHIRE. Apparently, they also have the absolute best prices for all forms of alcohol anywhere in country, according to my expert research. This means I DOUBLE HATE NEW HAMPSHIRE! [/jealousy]

Holy Carp! Chikara’s debut in Nashua, already boasting an impressive line-up, gets a little more impressive with the announcement of a Ten-Man Technico vs Rudo Tag Team Match. Team Good Guys sees the youngest half of the Colony, Green Ant and his not so BFF Carpenter Ant, teaming together for the first time with Dasher Hatfield and The Future is Now members Jimmy “Equinox” Olsen and Lince Dorado. Team Rudo consists of the wacky 2.0 and the much less wacky trio, The UnStable. It is a rare occurrence that Chikara puts on Five on Five tags, so this could have Cibernetico implications for next month’s Cibernetico Incredible event. Both teams will have their share of intersquad issues that must be resolved, with Green Ant and Carpenter ant not seeing eye-to-eye and Two Point Oh not exactly working the way the usually smileless UnStable does. This will also be the second time Dasher Hatfield has a chance to get his hands on the man that robbed him of a trip to the YLC finals, Colin Delaney. Hopefully, he’ll come through in the clutch for his team. Had to get one more baseball reference in.

Chuck Taylor’s first Chikara singles match since losing to Fire Ant back at Vanity and Violence (unless you count the two he had on the BJW Tour…I don’t.) is against the dangerous, rambunctious youngster Frightmare. Frightmare, depressed and suicidal following the recent death of his wife, nearly killed a disarmed suspect after entering a psychotic rage during a drug bust. Wait…that might have been Mel Gibson’s character Riggs in Lethal Weapon. Yeah, it was Riggs. I’m on a roll so I can’t stop to backspace, nor would I want to even if I could. Actually, I got nothing else to say about Frightmare facing Chuck Taylor other than Chucky works well with the tiny guys, so I have high expectations. Here are some more “fun” facts about New Hampshire: Tupperware originated there, as well as America’s first modern lottery, ski lift, and LED traffic lights. For more information…go to New Hampshire I guess. While you’re there, watch Frightmare take on Chuck Taylor. Should be a good one.

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RANDOM NEWS FOR READING PURPOSES~!

- Tired of searching the internet for great ways to spend your money? Well, you’re in luck! All three nights of the Young Lions Cup tournament will be available for purchase at Smark Mark Video on Tuesday. Get’em while they’re hot!

- The Chikara Store is having a sale on all masks and t-shirts to make room for new merchandise. It’s a Buy 2, Get 1 Free Sale! Mix and match two shirts or masks, and simply put your desired free item of equal value in the comments section of the PayPal order! Plus, they’ll be stuffing each order with retro Chikara goodies, and one lucky orderererer will win an Autographed Copy of the 2009 Chikara Yearbook that got lost in the shuffle! ORDER THINGS!

- Next week, right here at CHIKARMY Insider (waits for pop), the final King of Trios DVD Review, Night 3, will be put up with more updates from the September shows, and some Classic Chikara to cherry that sundae. I’m hoping to do my first installment of Horrible Gimmicks Run Amok~! the following week, but we shall see. Goodnight Canada!

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February 12, 2009 - Tokyo, Japan

This is a Korakuen show so you know big things will go down. We’ve got a title match and a Kanemoto appearance for starters, so I’m expecting the momentum from last week won’t give here. As promised, here’s a rundown of the champions:
Open the Dream Gate Champion: Naruki Doi
Open the Twin Gate Champions: YAMATO & Cyber Kong
Open the Triangle Gate Champions: Masaaki Mochizuki, Don Fujii & Magnitude Kishiwada
Open the Brave Gate Champion: Masato Yoshino

The show starts with a video package recounting the Anthony W. Mori vs. Cyber Kong feud. Mori came to the defense of the Shisas when Kong was bullying them. With their help Mori defeated Kong by submission on last week’s Infinity. Tonight the feud rages on in six-man tag action.

Cyber Kong {RH}, YAMATO {RH} & Genki Horiguchi {RH} vs. Anthony W. Mori, Masaaki Mochizuki {Z} & Don Fuji {Z}
Mori goes with what he knows works to start, dropkicking Kong’s knee. Mochizuki tags in and goes to work on Kong’s arm. He sends Kong to the floor where Mori attacks him with a chair. Mochizuki hits Kong’s arm with the Ikkakugeri. Kong’s clothesline is useless so Mori goes for the triangle choke. Kong ties to escape but Mori stays on him with an armbar. Kong’s buddies save him. Kong fights through the pain in his arm and cleans house on all his opponents. YAMATO tags in and does the same. Kong Mori with the Pineapple Bomber but he kicks out at 1. Makes sense given how weak Kong’s arm should be now. YAMATO gets abused by all three opponents, finally going down when Mori slaps him across the face. Horiguchi starts eating finishers, and loses the match for his team when Mori hits him with the Cyber Bomb at 6:33 shown of 8:23. The dynamic between Mori and Kong continues to be incredibly entertaining, and the supporting characters in this match did nothing but amplify the fun.
Rating: ***

Mori challenges Kong to put his mask on the line in a match, which causes Kong to flip out and beat him up. Regardless, the match made for PPV is a mask vs. hair match between the two.

Masato Yoshino © {W1} vs. KAGETORA {RH} [Open the Brave Gate Championship Match]
KATGETORA earned this title shot by winning the Battle of Tokyo tournament, last pinning Akira Tozawa. The pre-match video makes me think World-1 was hoping m.c.KZ would have won the tournament, but he didn’t even make it out of the first round. Naoki Tanisaki rushes the ring, leaving the door open for Real Hazard to quickly attack Yoshino. KAGETORA thus starts in control. KAGETORA goes after the leg. He hits a facebuster for 2. Yoshino sends him shoulder-first into the post. Before he can regain control Yasushi Kanda hits him with the blue box. Yoshino grabs the box and hits him back and takes control of the match with a back suplex. He hits his shotgun dropkick, and a few seconds later remember he’s supposed to have a hurt leg and grabs it. He hits the Torbellino, aggravating KAGETORA’s shoulder. He puts on the Sol Naciente. Kanda distracts the referee while KAGETORA moves Yoshino into position for Arai to dribble water in his face, a la Gamma. Real Hazard tries to gang up on Yoshino but he fights them off on his own. KAGETORA hits a lariat and a brainbuster for 2. He hits the Blood Fall for 2. Yoshino hits a crucifix bomb for 2. He gets a crucifix pin for 2. KAGETORA hits the John Woo and the Ikkitousen for 2. Yoshino blocks an avalanche Ikkitousen and hits a sleeper slam off the middle rope. KAGETORA blocks the lightning spiral and hits a lariat. Yoshino hits the Torbellino and the Lightning Spiral for 2. He hits it again for the win at 11:14 shown of 15:56. The selling was touch-and-go here, with KAGETORA using his shoulder and arm to counter Yoshino’s moves and hitting lariats at will, and Yoshino simply grabbing his leg every now and again to remind us it was hurt but never letting it factor into his game plan. The match was fine, but nothing I’ll remember in ten minutes.
Rating: **½

BxB Hulk {W1} vs. Koji Kanemoto {Z}
Kanemoto beat Hulk in a tag match a few shows back, making his partner Naoki Tanisaki tap out, and Hulk wanted revenge one-on-one. Hulk lost to Kanemoto in the Super Junior tournament a few years back, and Kanemoto doesn’t think this match will be any different. He attacks Hulk during his pre-match dance routine. Hulk tries to come back with the Mouse but it’s not enough to change the momentum of the match. He escapes the anklelock and hits a springboard dropkick to finally take Kanemoto off his feet. He keeps Kanemoto down with kicks. He hits an uranage and a standing senton for 2. He suplexes Kanemoto to the floor and dives off the apron onto him. Kanemoto begins to favor his ankle. Back in the ring Hulk puts on the anklelock, but Kanemoto gets to the ropes. He blocks a springboard dropkick because he’s not an idiot and kicks Hulk down because he is an idiot. He hits a Falcon Arrow for 2. Hulk pops up from a tiger suplex but goes down to a dragon suplex, but only for 2. Kanemoto’s moonsault hits knees. Hulk hits the EVO for 2. He hits the _EVO but misses a phoenix splash. Kanemoto counters an FTX attempt to an anklelock for the win at 10:03 shown of 12:37. Hulk looked foolish here, going for unnecessary high risks against a cagey veteran and losing control of the match at each attempt. I expected a little more out of this.
Rating: **¾

After the match Kanemoto calls out Naruki Doi. He wants a shot at the Dream Gate title. Doi points to the PPV banner (March 22nd) and says he can have his match there, throwing a Dream Key at him. Kanemoto kicks the key away and things get heated. Tanisaki is still hot about losing to Kanemoto in the tag match. We get a six-man tag match between World-1 and the Zetsurins out of it. Gotta love promos that set up two matches.

Now, if you’re planning on following Dragon Gate by reading my reviews, this next little rant is going to be spoiler-heavy. Everyone knew where this was going. Kanemoto came in and buddied up with Mochizuki’s crew, meaning he was going to be looking for a title. Since the rest of the Zetsurins were already the Triangle Gate Champions there was no doubt that Kanemoto was going to be looking at Doi’s title. So now he’s defeated World 1 twice, and has looked dominant over both Tanisaki and Hulk. Kanemoto has been a name in Japan for years, and honestly does not need to be getting such strong victories in singles matches over guys who, less than a year ago, were main eventing Dragon Gate’s marquee PPV. All I’m saying is there was never any chance in my mind that Kanemoto was going to be grabbing the title from Doi, so why not just build Kanemoto as a guy coming in with the credibility he’d built elsewhere instead of making Hulk look weaker. And let us not forget that Hulk just spent the last six months destroying all of Real Hazard in his Dark Hulk character. By extension Kanemoto is going over so many guys, and only Doi, the guy who’s already champion, looks good when all is said and done. And none of this would even bother me that much, but as soon as Kanemoto leaves they’re going to do it all over again with a sumo wrestler! The saddest thing is that there was an opportunity to use the outsiders’ title shots to lead to a shot for a Dragon Gate regular, but they didn’t use it. Masaaki Mochizuki, who’d aligned with Kanemoto and would align with the incoming sumo lard, should have seen that he was wasting his time bringing in outsiders to get the belt for the Zetsurins and gone after the belt himself. But that’s not what happens so instead we get months of outsiders going over regulars, losing to Doi and then disappearing. Lovely.

Anyway, the show ends with clips of Kenichiro Arai and Yasushi Kanda winning a tag match over Susumu Yokosuka and Ryo Saito. After that match Kanda and Arai berate KAGETORA and pour beer on him, I assume for losing to Yoshino.

Next week we get two title matches! The Zetsurins defend their Triangle Gate belts against Kamikaze, and Kong and YAMATO defend the Twin Gate belts against Saito and Yokosuka.

Overall
A bit of a dip in quality from last week, but most of the show was spent building to the PPV. With KAGETORA taking so much abuse and two title matches coming up next week, I sense a shake up in the near future!

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Hello wrestling fans and welcome to the latest Superstars recap, provided by the best thing to happen to this site since Brian Danielson decided for a change of scenery. Only kidding, nevertheless let’s get on with the show!

1.Jack Swagger vs. Primo.

Swagger gets a large amount of heat and as Primo makes his way down to ringside, we cut to a small girl doing some funky Latin dance moves in the crowd. Jerry Lawler tries to put Primo over as a huge future star, I wonder who told him to say that, I’m looking at you Vinnie! Primo connects with a couple of stiff kicks and a leg drop for a two count, working on the arm of one Mr. Thwagger. Frog splash by Swagger and for some reason instead of pinning his opponent, he starts doing push ups, hey Jack, Scott Steiner would like a word with you. Swagger shoulder blocks Primo off the apron and into the barricade with a heavy thud, as we head to the commercial break. Back from the break and Swagger is firmly in control, as he goes for another springboard frog splash, only for the ex-tag champion to roll out of the way. Springboard elbow drop as Primo starts getting fired up, connecting with a cross body for a close two count. Belly to belly suplex by Swagger though, as he goes for his gutwrench power bomb finisher. Primo rolls it up into a very close two count, he misses a dive off the top rope and seems to have “injured” it. Good old Jack takes advantage and hoists him up with that gutwrench powerbomb, this one’s over fans.

Winner: Jack Swagger.

Verdict: ** ¾. This was very close to a three star match, that match was far better than I expected.  

Swagger gets on the mic after the match, claiming he’s the only one worthy of being U.S Champ. The only man Kofi Kingston should be worried about is Jack Thwagger, the All American American.

Gregory Helms goes into a closet, before The Hurricane walks out, who could the Hurricane possibly be?

2.The Hurricane vs. Paul Burchill with Katie Lea Burchill.

I don’t know if any of you fans know this but Burchill was probably the biggest star on the British indy scene before he was signed up to the WWE, but oh well, let’s just hope it doesn’t happen to one Mr. Dragon. Burchill with a brutal uppercut but Hurricane sends him to the outside soon after, missing a cross body to the outside. Striker is in full on geek mode, with SEVERAL comic book references, as Burchill keeps the “modern day superhero” grounded with a neckbreaker. Straight right hands by Hurricane as he goes for a clothesline, only to miss and be clobbered by a Pele from Burchill of all people. Suplex attempt misses as Hurricane drives Burchill down with a knee to the back of the head. Hurricane connects with a cross body but only gets the two count, as Burchill rolls to the outside. Hurricane goes after him but is dropped neck first on the ropes by Burchill, who rolls him up for the 3 count! 

Winner: Paul Burchill.

Verdict: **. Burchill actually won a match! That doesn’t happen very much, what did happen a lot in this match, far too much actually was Striker’s repetitive and eventually very annoying Comic Book references. We get it Matt, you read comic books!

An Undertaker video package, I’ll be rooting for the Punkster though, for once ‘Taker put a guy over.

Smackdown’s main event will this week be a cage match between Jeff Hardy and CM Punk for the World Title. If you don’t have a chance to watch the show, be sure to check into Pro Wrestling Ponderings for the recap.

Main Event. Dolph Ziggler vs. Mike Knox vs. Finlay. Winner faces Rey Mysterio at Breaking Point.

Ziggler gets on the mic, claiming Mysterio’s win at Summerslam was a fluke. At Breaking Point Ziggler claims he will win the title, or his name isn’t Dolph Ziggler. Considering the latest news about naughty Ray Ray abusing the Welness Policy, will the match at Breaking Point still be going on? Finlay bails to the outside and Ziggler follows, only to be clobbered by an elbow. The evil Biology teacher, Mike Knox (no I didn’t make that up) slams Finlay on the inside with a boot, before a pumphandle slam gets rid of the Irishman temporarily. Ziggler comes back in and gets squashed in the corner by the big man, only for Finlay to send Knox to the outside now. Finlay is back to the outside and slams Knox into the barricade, before sending the heavily bearded monster into the ring post. Back inside now as Knox works on both men, keeping them grounded. Ziggler is draped onto the top rope by Finlay, but Knox interrupts, connecting with an Electric Chair. Ziggler connects with a leg drop on Finlay with great elevation. Back from the break and Knox is working on the back of Ziggler, also keeping Finlay on the outside. Double team work by Finlay and Ziggler as they drop Knox on his head with a double DDT, but the team work ends as both men go for the pin on Knox. As Ziggler climbs aboard the apron, Finlay kicks him back off again, heading to the outside to sort out the brash superstar. Knox joins the party, pushing Ziggler into the side of the apron, again working on that back area. Ziggler is rolled back inside but Knox just like the majority of the match is knocked to the outside. Finlay and Ziggler head butt each other and in their daze Knox rejoins the fray, knocking out both men with that awesome cross body of his. Finlay connects with a Rolling Thunder on Ziggler for the two count, soon after Ziggler goes for a variation of the Stinger Splash but Finlay ducks, going for the armbar instead. Knox big boots Finlay but he connects with a cross body on the big man in retaliation, as Finlay gets rid of Ziggler, Knox picks up the sheleilagh. Knox tries to hit Finlay with it but the Irishman ducks, connecting with the Celtic Cross on the big man. As Finlay goes for the cover, in comes Dolph Ziggler again, sending him into the ring post. Ziggler instead covers Mike Knox for the 3 count, Dolph is going to Breaking Point!

Winner and No.1 Contender: Dolph Ziggler.

Verdict: ***. That was a fast paced, exciting match which I really enjoyed, particularly because my favourite Smackdown wrestler won it. Good job all around and a great way to end the show.

Overall Thoughts: Pretty darn good show actually, with no match under two stars, which is less than I can say for last week’s show. Let’s hope this is the return to Superstar’s winning ways.

Just a note, if any company wants to send me some DVD’s that really isn’t a problem, contact me at michaelrobertson11@yahoo.co.uk. I know this isn’t very likely, but hey, I’m a sucker for free stuff, sue me! My name’s Michael Robertson, thanks for reading, I’m out of here.

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Jerome and Kevin talk some more this week as they cover major happenings with PWG, Bryan Danielson, and the death of IWA-MS.

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Ring of Honor on HDNet 08/24/2009

Welcome back ROH readers. We have a great show to get to so lets get to it. We opened up with a video package of how we got to our reigning ROH World champ Austin Aries. We also get the word that Jerry Lynn has a significant message for the ROH fan base.

Great tag team match up as we have Steenerico against Tony Kozina and “The New Horror” Sami Calahan. A decent opening bout against a tandem with the experience of Kozina and ability of Calahan against a veteran team here in ROH of “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen and “The Generic Luchadore” El Generico. Fast paced as both teams really bring it to the table. Sam Calahan hopefully will have time to shine here in Ring of Honor as he’s just in 5th gear the entire match. Great ring work by Kevin Steen as always. Kozina just seems a step behind the youngsters in the ring, but don’t let that fool you as he does get his shots in and really rocks the favorites in this match. But it would be the package piledriver/brain buster combo that puts Steenerico in the winners line. Great match that I would have to say sets the tone for the rest of the show. I hope that Steen and Generico get another chance to be ROH tag team champions as they just have the heart of a Canadian Mountee….well maybe a Hispanic mountee also if there were such things.

Roderick Strong interview coming up. Roderick points out what he brings to the table and boasts of the list of opponents he’s beaten to prove to “A Double” that he is more than worthy of being in the ring with the ROH world champion and I do hope he can prove that in the main event. These former partners and ROH tag champions really know each other inside and out so it’s a no brainer that their match will be a great showcase of what Ring of Honor is all about.

D’Lo Brown against John Kerman. Congrats to D’Lo for another miracle brought to the D’Lo nation in the form of a 7 pound beautiful baby girl recently. Kerman looks good in this match, for all the offense he’s able to get in, and I’m sure that we will see John Kerman back on the ROH TV show. But for what it’s worth, D’Lo is a world renown athlete and there isn’t much Kerman can bring to the table that D’Lo hasn’t seen before. D’Lo, a favorite of mine from his time in Japan and even his WWE 90s run, despite some naysayer’s I feel has added to the ROH product and with a slow burn perhaps will find his way into the ROH title picture. He has many tools that he has yet to show to the American audience, as proven by his matches in Japan. I have often heard him say that in Japan he breaks out moves because of the competition there, but I am sure that in ROH he will find the same heart and skill that will force him to break it out when he mixes it up with the higher competitors. Top rope Sky High Rydeen bomb gets D’Lo Brown the win. Great post match segment with Durden as D’Lo, not only irritated about never being interviewed until now, but that he is asked about Jerry Lynn. For a guy who “can’t talk” he certainly gets his point across in top fashion.

Top segment from The Embassy as we have Prince Nana, Double C, and Jimmy Rave really show what they feel about the Colt Cabana faction. I don’t have the highest hopes for this match in the future, but these clusters of action have always been entertaining and I’m willing to give it a shot.

Next up is Nigel being who he is as he speaks about Black beating him last week, vowing that it will never happen again. Nigel’s speaking ability is second to none in ROH and I do hope that ROH does everything they can to keep this man if the fed comes knocking.

Tyler Black, who had a recent interview on Figure 4 Daily with Bryan Alvarez, is in the ring as they cut off Nigel and Black has something to say. He speaks on Jerry Lynn possibly retiring and how he feels that he is a future ROH champion. Here comes Jerry Lynn to address the crowd and the fans are awaiting what he has to say. He comments on D’Lo wanting him to “shrivel up and die” while also letting everyone know he’s only 45, not 65 or even 84, sorry had to bring it up. I also want to point out that the current Jerry Lynn shirt isn’t that bad in my opinion for the pure reason that I could wear it in public and no one would have any negative thoughts on it, though I will say I’ve always gotten positive remarks about my No Remorse Corp shirt.

The main event is up as we have Roderick Strong against his former partner ROH World Champion Austin Aries. Furry jacket is damn awesome as he’s definitely channeling Michael Hayes, as well as having pink furry calf warmers that really do the trick. With Danielson gone, Roderick Strong has a unique chance to really up his game and place himself in the upper echelon of ROH, especially while the ROH faithful have accepted him back into their good graces.

These two are at it fast and furious as both are bringing their A game in this HDNet main event. These two have always meshed well and perhaps an iron man or two out of three falls match could help bring Strong up to that level that most feel he could be at. Despite being the heel, Aries still works a very similar style as to what he is known for. He doesn’t even take the short cuts, he just works his style thrown in with glaring showcases of arrogance a la Shawn Michaels circa 1992. While Roderick Strong has been pushed as the power man, the enforcer even when he was in Generation Next, Aries looks to be equal if not more thick muscular wise than Strong. Perhaps a little bit more work on his physique could give Roderick a more defining look, but that is just picking hairs as both men are in great conditioning and obviously could have matches that go the distance.

What we have is a pair of competitors that if booked correctly could bring back those must see matches for ROH DVDs. Bring in either Davey Richards or Chris Hero and you have a top tier of wrestlers that could reinvigorate the ROH fan base again in droves. With the influx of NOAH special show casings, and a larger working relationship with PWG we could see ROH bring back some of that spark that has seemingly been missing for a tad amount of time. Roderick and Aries could be that feud that brings back the old guard of fans as long as they are pushed correctly and not blown up too quickly. Aries gets the win with his feet on the ropes and we definitely must have a continuation of this budding feud. Great way to end the show and a great main event that should bring in any ROH fan into the product.

Thank you for reading and thank you for supporting PWP. Look for some special things coming including exclusive interviews and some live reporting done.

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 ECW August 25, 2009

-We open the show up with a recap of William Regal vs. Christian for the ECW title at Summerslam this past Sunday. Yeah, it was eight seconds long. Just goes to show you how much Vince McMahon cares for ECW these days.

-Regal, Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson come out to open the show. Regal states he united these two beasts together to form his stable. Wonder what he’s gonna eventually call his stable? Heck I can’t think of anything right now. Regal wants another shot at the ECW World Title. Christian comes out and starts calling Regal “Bill”. Ha, never herd Regal been called that before. Tiffnay the ECW GM comes out and makes tonight’s main event Christian vs. Regal in a non-title match, and if Regal wins he gets another shot at the belt. Yay!

-We get a video package looking at the feud between Sheamus and Goldust. Actually makes the feud look cool

Match #1. Sheamus vs. Goldust

-I’m glad they even gave Sheamus a mid-card feud instead of him just destroying jobbers each week till he got an ECW World Title shot. I do see Sheamus having a good ECW Title run soon. These two actually have been having some decent matches as of late, which you wouldn’t really have expected just by looking at them. Both men fight on the outside, which results in a double countout. Guess they might have a rematch soon with no count outs.

Winner: No One (via Double Countout at 4:02) *3/4

-Backstage, The Bella Twins say they will have sex with Shelton Benjamin if he sang. Zack Ryder comes in and ruins the fun. Bella Twins leave and Tiffany comes in before Benjamin kills Ryder. She makes a match with Benjamin and Ryder teaming up. Oh great, a tag match where tag partners hate each other. Lovely.

-We then gets highlights of Hurricane Helms defeating Paul Burchill and find out that they have a rematch on Superstars this week. We go to Courtney backstage with Paul and Katie Lee Burchill. Paul thinks she will end up becoming Wonder Woman. Paul says that The Hurricane is still Gregory Helms and that he won’t be saving anyone, including himself this week.

-We see Regal talking backstage with his two man beasts backstage as we head to break.

Match #2. Tyler Reks and Yoshi Tatsu vs. Shelton Benjamin and Zack Ryder

-If this was given about 15 minutes, this could of been one hell of a match. Yoshi and Tyler definitely are a strange team to put together. A Japanese dude and a surfer dude. Don’t see that working out. This wasn’t really much of a match, as it focused more on the hatred between Ryder and Benjamin. Tatsu knocks Ryder THE FUCK OUT with a kick to the head for the win. WOO WOO WOO, you know it!

Winners: Tatsu and Reks (via pin at 4:05) *1/2

-Before the main event, we get another video package of WWE being in Hollowood this past weekend for Summerfest. I swear itd be just awesome if WWE actually started to call the PPV Summerfest starting next year

Match #3. Non-Title: Christian(c) vs. William “Bill” Regal (w/ Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov)

-Hopefully this match gets more than five minutes, because everyone knows these two can put on a great match if both brought there A game. I just doubt Regal will be the next ECW champ. I’m not saying he wouldn’t be a good champ, I just see someone like Sheamus or even Hurricane being the next ECW World champ. Wow, you could barely notice Jackson or Kozlov being out there. They should have least Kozlov or Jackson interfer at least once or twice in this match to give them more heel heat. Oh finally. Kozlov headbutts Christian in the gut after Christian slapped him on the outside, which gave Regal the chance to hit the Knee Trembler for the win. Looks like Regal vs. Christian for the title again at Breaking Point. This was a great match by the way

Winner: William Regal (via pin at 11:20) ***

Final Thoughts: Glad we got the Regal/Christian match we SHOULD have got at Summerslam. This was a nice episode. Pretty much all the feuds they have going on here was built a little bit tonight. Best part was no Abraham Washington tonight. I won’t be here next week as I’m going to see ECW live here in Cleveland. Until then, see you all later for my Impact report.

 

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