Pro Wrestling Ponderings

Yes my legions of fans, it is I Michael Robertson, but not quite how you remember me, perhaps? Well due to the sad departure of one Zach Danielson, who’s work I very much enjoyed by the way, plus the small matter of no one showing any interest to recap the show, good old Mike has had himself a promotion!

So William Regal starts off this show in the backstage area, announcing that ECW GM Tiffany has been in a car accident. Therefore for one night only, due to his past experiences of being Raw GM, good old Bill will be taking over tonight. No longer will Christian face Zack Ryder, oh no, but he will face Ryder, William Regal, Vladimir Koslov AND Ezekiel Jackson in a 4 on 1 handicap match. Good luck with that, Christian.

Tony Atlas announces that Abraham Washington’s guest tonight will be John Morrison, this is my first ever time witnessing the Washington show. Is this guy meant to be heel or face, because he is very annoying. Abraham hypes up Hell in a Cell PPV, along with Smackdown’s 10 Year Anniversary, before proceeding to welcome one John Morrison. Oh great, if this couldn’t get any worse, John Morrison is on the mic. In the third cheap plug, Morrison plugs his t-shirt, before praising “Abe’s” show, to numerous boo’s. Atlas’ laugh is actually pretty funny, which is a lot more than can be said for Abe. Now to Dolph Ziggler, who Morrison criticizes for being far too arrogant, plus that Ziggler won’t be coming out victorious this Sunday. This brings out the greatest man ever, ever, Dolph Ziggler, which brings out another awful “comedy” spot. Washington says there isn’t enough time and that he has to wrap up the show, but Morrison is far too pre occupied in starting a Mr. Ziggles chant. Just before Mr. Ziggler gets to reply, the music hits and the show comes to an end. So they give Washington and Morrison plenty of mic time, but Ziggler just sits there brooding? Brilliant job.

Backstage and the badass three are joined by one Zach Ryder, who doesn’t want a handicap match, instead a singles. Regal says that the board of directors aren’t too happy with the 4 on 1 handicap match, god knows why, instead making it a 8 man tag. Our main event now shall be Zach Ryder and the badass three facing Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Tommy Dreamer and Christian.

1. Paul Burchill/w Katie Lea Burchill vs. Shelton Benjamin.

Now this one has potential, as we get a recap of last week’s Washington show, where Sheamus beat down on Benjamin. As Benjamin makes his entrance this week, Sheamus beats the snot out of him, throwing him into a ring post and then throwing him into the ring. Casper the Ghost walks back up the ramp with a smirk on his face, as the referee tends to Benjamin, not starting the match. As the bell is rang, Burchill drives Benjamin into the corner and delivers multiple kicks. Working on the same arm that was thrown into the ring post now, the fans rally behind Burchill’s opponent, but to no avail as he’s thrown shoulder first into the ring post. We are back and Burchill is still working on the arm, as the Boston crowd come up with an extremely original “U-S-A” chant. Burchill gets a close two count with a back body drop, before surprise surprise, locks in on the arm. Burchill’s attempted suplex is reversed into a neck breaker as the referee begins a ten count, The Gold Standard first to his feet. Just as he begins to find his feet for the first time in the match, Burchill elbows Benjamin in the head. Up on the top rope and Burchill is sent careering right back down to the mat again, as Benjamin goes for a cross body, but misses. Burchill with a diving knee drop, only a two count though as he goes back to work on the arm. Both men are back to their feet and just as Burchill charges off the ropes, Benjamin connects with a Pay Dirt out of nowhere. 1,2,3, this one’s over bizzach.

Winner: Shelton Benjamin.

Thoughts: ** ¾. Would have been even higher if Benjamin had any remote offense, bar a couple of punches. Nevertheless the match did tell a good story, as Benjamin continues to build up those W’s.

Cena/Orton hype video, as we get another display of what I call “Superman” Cena’s ridiculous display. Of course knowing Cena, it was followed by a corny ass, cheesy promo, I hope Orton knocks the bejeezus out of that piece of poo.

Striker and Mathews hype up the card, the match I’m most looking forward to is DX/Legay, which has been a very good feud in my opinion. I’m making a bet right now, Legacy are coming out of this one winners, tune in to the column next week to see if I’m right.

Christian gives a pep talk to all three of his team mates, as we head to ringside…

2. The Badass Three and Zack Ryder vs. Christian, Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust and Tommy Dreamer.

Now I love Zack Ryder and Regal’s trio are just beyond awesome, so it’s pretty clear who I want to win this one. Plus, Yoshi Tatsu is on the other team for god sakes, he sucks balls. Ryder and Dreamer start this one off, only for Dreamer to tag in Goldust soon after, Ryder tagging in Koslov. Jackson is tagged in soon after though, as Tatsu is brought into the fray. Tatsu’s pace helps him out as he avoids the aggressive Jackson, who tags in Goldust now. Jackson squashes Goldust like a bug, shouting like a madman, he’s awesome. Lord Steven Regal is in now, but again he tags in Ryder, as Goldust tags in Christian. Top rope uppercut by Ryder as Christian gets rid of all three of his partners, before tagging in Dreamer. Sidewalk slam and inverted DDT combo by Dreamer and Christian, followed by a powerslam by Dreamer. Back from the commercial and Jackson is beating up Dreamer, of course he is, it’s Ezekiel Jackson damn it. In comes Koslov now, repeatedly ramming his shoulder into Dreamer’s stomach, before the leader of the badass three is tagged in. Regal calls Dreamer “bloody pathetic”, as he clubs the fat ass ten times with elbows. Christian gets the hot tag but as he runs off the ropes, Koslov pulls them down, sending the ECW Champ outside. As Christian climbs back up to the apron, Jackson hoists him up with the suplex, lets him stay there for a while and then plants him down with a suplex. Ryder is in now and just as I type that, Koslov is tagged back in. Top rope drop kick by one Christian, as he makes the tag to Yoshi Tatsu, as Ryder is tagged in for the opposite side. Yoshi in firm control now, connecting with a top rope spinning heel kick, damn impressive. All hell breaks loose now as all of the participants brawl on the outside, Christian diving from the top rope onto all of them. Regal and Tatsu are the only men still in the ring, as the poor man’s Tajiri connects with a kick to the head. Tatsu gets the win!

Winners: Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, Christian and Tommy Dreamer.

Thoughts: ***. What an enjoyable match that was, just a shame that the one guy I disliked the most, got the freaking pin! Still the majority of the match was controlled by the Badass 3, along with a bit of Ryder too. Let’s hope for a Extreme rules rematch sometime in the future, that would be even better.

Final Thoughts: Pretty good show, yet ECW prides itself on having at least three matches a show, this time it was two. It was also brought down by the awful Abraham Washington show, but the two matches themselves were actually entertaining.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this recap, leave any feedback at all, even if it’s sending hate mail and begging for Danielson to come back. My name’s Michael Robertson, thanks for reading, Yoshi Tatsu sucks.

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