Late Night with CHIKARMY Insider! (DVD Review + Cibernetico news)
by Justin Houston on Oct.05, 2009, under CHIKARA DVD Reviews, CHIKARMY Insider
Hello all, and welcome to CHIKARMY Insider, in the Conservatory, with the Lead Pipe. Yeah, that’s how we do. We do lead pipe. As you may or may not have noticed, this week’s Insider is two days late. Now, I really wish that I had some sort of grand explanation for it: my wife died, a plane hit my favorite restaurant, there was a good football game on, etc. The truth is much simpler, and pretty embarrassing: I forgot to post it. I wrote it up and…forgot a very important step! Yep, it was my lunch hour earlier today and I wanted to see what others had written. Well, much to my surprise…my article wasn’t there. Nicely done, me. Had to wait ‘til now to post. Sorry fans…er, fan. To make up for this, next’s week article WILL be on time and WILL feature an all-new Horrible Gimmick~! Rejoice! This week’s episode features a DVD review of “The Bobliographon”, more poorly-conceived threats from UltraMantis Black, and info on the October shows, including a look at the final four teams in this year’s Cibernetico, with one HUGE surprise team that…You. Won’t. See. Coming. Look at me! I’m the ending to a bad horror trailer!
Chikara DVD Review:
The Bobliographon
The Bobliographon might as well have been called “Night of the Grudges”, as there were four matches that had heated back-stories with issues that needed settling. Some of the conflicts were ended…others continued to burn. Incoherence looked to end their feud with The Roughnecks, Vin Gerard continued his feud with Glacier, and The Future is Now looked to tear The Osirian Portal apart. The main event saw the biggest feud in Chikara explode into all-out war as The Colony, looking to avenge their fallen brother Worker Ant, teamed with Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw to face Buck Hawke and the men who ended their brother’s career: F.I.S.T.
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1. Claudio Castagnoli vs. Shadow Phoenix - ***1/2
Really good contest between these two, which is NOT a surprise if you’ve ever seen a match pitting Claudio against any small, athletic, flying wrestler. This match was much crisper than Shadow’s bout the night before against Gran Akuma. Finish was good, but I was shocked that it only took a Bicycle Kick to cut Shadow Phoenix down. It made Claudio look beastly, which was the point I guess.
PROMO - The Super Smash Brothers
These guys always slay me when they get time to talk. This was the first time I took notice of how thick Dos’ French-Canadian accent is. It was startling.
PROMO - 2.0
See Above. Well, not the French-Canadian thing. That’s exclusive to Mr. Dos.
2. Elimination Match - Cheech & Cloudy vs. 2.0 vs. The UnStable vs. The SSB - ***1/4
Good match. I really wasn’t into a lot of the stuff at the beginning, but after the 2.0 elimination, things picked up nicely. There was an absolutely huge moment that occurs after the second elimination and would foreshadow events to come in Chikara. But the really meat here was the exchanges between the Smash Brothers and Cheech & Cloudy. They had a terrific match last year at Aniversarioct, and they picked up right where they left off here.
PROMO - The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple
I don’t even remember this promo to be honest, so it couldn’t have been that important. I remember UltraMantis said something about wielding the “ultimate power”, which would be big later on in the show and in Chikara as well.
3. Create-A-Wrestler vs. UltraMantis Black w/ Crossbones - *3/4
Well, you knew the quality couldn’t stay that high forever. This served no real purpose other than driving the point home that CAW sucks without a fan-made gimmick…which we already knew. Pay attention to the commentary though, as some previously unknown info sees the light of day.
4. Grudge Match #1 - Incoherence vs. The Roughnecks - ***3/4
This is the night’s first grudge match, and it was awesome. Some of the cheap double team moves from the Roughnecks had me in stitches. At one point, Brodie sat on the top turnbuckle and lifted Frightmare in the air by his head. Kingston then started peppering his midsection with fists and elbows. Highlight of the match was seeing a Go 2 Sleep Hollow on Kingston, followed by Shadows Over Heck by Delirious and the Kneecolepsy by Frightmare. It’s a shame these guys didn’t get more time as a trio; after the match, UltraMantis kidnapped Delirious using what appeared to be the Eye of Tyr.
PROMO - Claudio Castagnoli
Claudio has always seemed a little clunky on promos, which is understandable given his grasp of English is not always an easy one. The heat he brought, however, was great, and I truly felt like Claudio had been disrespected.
ANNOUNCEMENT - A New Partnership Forms!
When this company was first announced, I said on a few forums that all they needed to be successful was some involvement from other indies, mainly Chikara. I feel brilliant.
5. Shark Girl vs. Sara Del Rey - **
I really enjoyed this despite the length. I’m a dirty mark for Daffney and Del Rey, so the three person shark bite spot had me giggling, as did the chant afterwards.
6. Grudge Match #2 - The Osirian Portal vs. The Future is Now - ***
The story of the match involved the strife within the Osirian Portal, as Escorpion had lost several contests and appeared to lack focus in some of his matches. While the wrestling was good, I felt that the story itself was forced. They really must have put this together at the last minute; at least that’s what it felt like. Still, it got the point across, albeit somewhat disappointingly, and the action was crisp.
PROMO - Vin Gerard
If you’ve seen one Vin promo, you’ve seen them all. I much prefer him with his UnStable brethren where those guys can really shine in their smug insecurity. But this was solo Vin, so it was just OK.
7. Grudge Match #3 - Vin Gerard vs. Glacier - **
I’ll admit I actually really enjoyed the early stuff. The old-school chicken heel stuff was layered on thick, and had they exploded in the end, I would have lauded this match. Instead, they kept it slow and boring almost constantly. It became tedious to the point of near fury, and not in a good way. Not in a way that made me appreciate Vin Gerard’s heel work. After the match, I decided to do something more interesting…so I watched bark fall off a tree. Weeeee.
8. Grudge Match #4 - Fire & Soldier Ant and QuackenSaw vs. Buck Hawke & F.I.S.T. - ***3/4
Great way to end the show. It’s just good business for your MOTN to be in main event. Shocking, right? Everybody did great, and the heat was awesome. It set the stage for the feud-ending match between F.I.S.T. and the Colony, but also added to a growing QuackenSaw vs. F.I.S.T. rivalry, which would be big in the coming months. My only complaint would be that there was too much Buck Hawke. He’s fun…in small doses. Great match though.
OVERALL - 7.5 / 10
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There was a lot of stuff to love here, but there was a lot of absolute crap, too. Two very good matches and two pretty good ones make this a worthwhile purchase for sure, but I’d skip CAW/Mantis and Gerard/Glacier. The show will breeze by and you’ll just feel better not having to sit through some real nonsense. The highlights, Incoherence/Roughnecks and the Main, are well worth your time. Go buy it at Smart Mark Video today! Keep supporting Chikara, and keep supporting independent wrestling.
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UltraMantis Black – Chikara blog – 10/4/2009
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Allow me to proceed swiftly to the purpose of this communiqué. I have seen enough of the cryptic messages and hollow threats from this “BDK.” Let me state openly that I have never transacted any business with any mortal with the initials “BDK.” I have grown tired of these systematic efforts of harassment and intimidation. If this individual wants to declare war on The Order of the Neo Solar Temple, then he is embarking on a fool’s errand! The Order is willing to wage war in manners both unconventional and unscrupulous. Even as I write this, I am seeking to fortify our ranks even further…although, to be frank, I alone am more than sufficient to mete out defeat to a single man, white mask or not.
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Recently, a man who has become quite the topic of locker room chitter-chatter has arrived in our midst. A new competitor in the rings of CHIKARA. He is being called Vökoder. My operatives tell me that rumors abound regarding this individual, and some that have circulated are cause for more than just passing curiosity. There is talk that this Vökoder may in fact be here with knowledge of future events, perhaps even, the future of CHIKARA. As you can imagine, this intrigues me greatly, especially because since fairly obtaining the fabled Eye of Tyr, it has become my sacred mission to make the world of the Chikara Pro my plaything. If these rumors contain even an iota of truth, then I surely need not explain why The Order seeks to locate this man. Such knowledge could indeed be the ultimate weapon in any war!
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My dominion will be absolute.
UMB
Two of the best young wrestlers Chikara has to offer will be clashing in Easton, Pennsylvania on October 17th. Frightmare, after emerging victorious over Brandon Jonathan Michael Taylor Thomas in a rematch from the Young Lions Cup Tournament, has earned a title shot again Player Dos for his Young Lions Trophy. Both guys can be considered risk takers, so it could be either guy walking away as champion. Dos has the experience and the size advantage, but Frightmare’s ferociousness may not have a rival in Chikara.
An intriguing match-up in Easton will pit two teams with internal issues against one another. Green Ant called out the mysterious Carpenter Ant on his perceived lack of motivation, while Crossbones, after losing in the main event of Never Kneel at the Altar of Conformity, was nearly kicked out of the Order before UltraMantis allowed him to stay. Now Crossbones will be looking for revenge and gain favor with his friend by taking down the two youngest members of The Colony. The key to the match appears to be whichever team can get along will win…but there are no guarantees that either team can keep their grumbling in check.
Cheech & Cloudy
It’s been a long time since Cheech & Cloudy have faced each other in the ring. They both have had two singles matches this year in Chikara, both of which were losses for the two men. The only real measures against each other are the size advantages that Cheech will possess, as well as the win-loss record in head-to-head contests that again favors Cheech. Despite Cloudy having excellent counter offense, don’t expect Cheech to make a mistake in a big match like the Cibernetico.
Advantage: Cheech
Lince Dorado vs. Helios
Since Jigsaw joined the ranks of The Future is Now to help the young wrestlers mature, Lince Dorado has grown more and more agitated with the direction of the group. After Jigsaw took the fall in his debut match with the group, Lince voiced his frustrations. He has since kept his mouth shut, mainly shaking his head after losses. While I think Lince will be motivated be leave his mark, Helios is just as strong a wrestler, with some fans already stating that they want Helios to be the last man standing.
Advantage: Draw
Incoherence
This will be the biggest weekend in the young career of Frightmare. A night after challenging for the Young Lions Cup, Frightmare will then enter the Cibernetico event across from his partner Hallowicked. And despite Frightmare turning heads and making noise, it will be Hallowicked who goes deep into this tournament at the expense of his young protégé. ‘Wicked’s experience outweighs Fright’s tenacity.
Advantage: Hallowicked
The Young Bucks
As the surprise final entrants into the Cibernetico, I think it’s safe to say that neither man has the advantage over the other. I’d be tempted to choose Matt over Nick because he’s older, but when you’re brothers, you both know each other’s moves no matter which one is older. All that flashy tag team offense won’t help the Bucks when they are on opposite sides of the ring, so there’s no telling what will happen.
Advantage: Draw
Team Soldier Ant vs Team Fire Ant
Well, let’s take a look. I gave out a total of four draws and four match-up advantages to Team Soldier. Which means I must be favoring the Mat Militant’s team right? WRONG! Er, wait. OK yeah, I do favor Soldier Ant’s team. While I think the other team has a lot of…fire (u seez wut I did?)…Team Soldier is just the bigger and better squad. I’ll go a step further and say that I could see Soldier Ant or Player Uno winning, but I’m going to say Hallowicked takes it. I have no real storyline reason for this decision; I just like the idea of either a Quack/Wicked or Jig/Wicked final two.
Advantage: Team Soldier Ant
Dasher Hatfield had some trouble getting a hold of the Super Smash Brothers, so he decided to find a new partner in his quest for three points. Well, Sugar Dunkerton answered the call. Unfortunately, they have to go up against some Badd dudes in Philly. The Badd Boyz, after beating the Colony to get their first point, could be looking at a possible three-point match-up here if they get past Helios and Dorado the night before. With that extra incentive, it’ll be tough to get past Chad and Brad; but if anyone can do it, it’s Dash & Dunk. Team Sports. BASEketball. The Old-Schools. Cloak and Dagger. Dash of Sugar. The Hardy Boyz. Team Discovery Channel. Just pick a name already…
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After being left out of this year’s Cibernetico, both The Osirian Portal and the Roughnecks probably feel a little bitter. I mean, let’s face it; they know that neither of their respective teams is winning a popularity contest anytime soon due to their bad guy shenanigans. But it’s still gotta sting when you’re pass over for an outsider team. It’s like their being one spot left on a dodge ball team and, instead of choosing you, the captain chooses someone from another school. It’s exactly like that. But with wrestling. The two teams will look to take frustrations out on each other. Or maybe they’ll hug it out. Probably not though.
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New Chikara DVD Releases:
Man Makes Plans, And God Laughs
Springfield, MA ~ 09/12/2009
1. Brendan Michael Thomas vs. Frightmare
2. The Badd Boyz vs. Fire & Green Ant
3. Grizzly Redwood vs. Steve “The Turtle” Weiner
4. Colin Delaney vs. Dasher Hatfield
5. The Super Smash Brothers vs. UltraMantis Black & Delirious
6. SeaDonsters No More: Tim Donst vs. Hydra
7. Vin Gerard, STIGMA & ???? vs. Mike Quackenbush, Lince Dorado & Equinox
8. Ophidian Returns: The Osirian Portal vs. Icarus & Chuck Taylor
9. For The First Time: Hallowicked vs. Claudio Castagnoli
Hallowicked and Claudio one-on-one for the first time. The Chikara debut of the Badd Boyz. The Osirian Portal tag for the first time since May. LUMBERJACK. VERSUS. TURTLE. It’s superfantastic…and it comes inside a free box! Buy It Now!
Hiding In Plain Sight
Nashua, NH ~ 09/13/2009
1. Icarus & Chuck Taylor vs. Incoherence
2. Ariel vs. Sara Del Ray
3. Champions Of Charity Award Presentation
4. Eddie Kingston & Grizzly Redwood vs. UltraMantis Black & Delirious
5. Dragon’s Farewell: Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw vs. Claudio Castagnoli & Bryan Danielson
6. The UnStable & 2.0 vs. Dasher Hatfield, Equinox, Lince Dorado, Carpenter Ant, & Green Ant
7. Young Lion’s Cup: Player Uno vs. Player Dos
8. Campeonatos de Parejas: The Osirian Portal vs. Fire & Soldier Ant
Two title matches. Bryan Danielson’s last match in Chikara. The return of a “Classic” Chikara wrestler. A very strange game of mid-match five-on-five baseball. Already being called Chikara’s best show of the year! Buy It Now!
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