Pro Wrestling Ponderings

That’s right folks, I’m BACK! My home computer hasn’t been able to work for the last few weeks, which is why the ECW and TNA TV reports were taken over by James Johnson and Jason Sterlacci respectively. Big thanks to both men for taking over my duties while I was away. Anyways, lets get to tonight’s Impact. Tonight’s featured main event is Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels. Should be good. Impact has had good Impacts for the last two weeks, let’s see if they keep up the good streak.

TNA IMPACT!: 9/10/09

Match #1. Tag Team Gaulent Match: British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams) vs. Team 3D vs. Beer Money vs. Main Event Mafia (Booker T and Scott Steiner)

-DAMN, this match started right away as they didn’t do any opening videos or pyro as they just cut right to the match with Brother Ray and Magnus fighting it out. Now I believe the rules of this match is that every 90 seconds another wrestler from one of the four teams comes to the ring and is then eligable to be taged in during the match, as this is not elimination style, it’s first pin wins the match. I know, it sounds confusing, but then again when hasn’t TNA created a match that was a little confusing. Already out there in the match were both members of Team 3D and British Invasion, Robert Roode and Steiner. The majority of this match sees Beer Money take on MEM and the Brits, which is a good thing. Booker enters the match next and he and Steiner do some double teaming on Roode. Last one to enter the match is James Storm. Soon as he comes down, both Beer Money and 3D start clearing house. Team 3D hits the 3D on Steiner, but Magnus ends up covering Steiner for the pin. We see Kurt Angle in the back, looking pretty pissed bout what just took place. This was a fun match to start the show off.

Winners: British Invasion (via pin at 6:45) **1/2

-In the back, MEM and World Elite are arguing about Magnus pinning Steiner. Don’t wanna make Angle mad there boys, or else he might start to stalk you.

-After we get a rundown for tonight’s card, Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring. He’s not happy tonight. He calls out Matt Morgen. Morgan comes out and is told that he is all but approved as a Mafia member. Morgan interrupts and guesses that he has to do just one more thing to do. Sting and AJ Styles interupts and comes on out. Sting can’t believe Morgen still buys the fact that he thinks he’s gonna be part of MEM. Sting gets in Angle’s face and says what he thinks Morgan should say. Angle gets mad and talks about how Sting is an old fart and how he will keep the TNA title at any cost. AJ makes Angle repeat that statement, and Morgen interupts Angle and thanks him for finally admitting that he’s using Morgen to keep the TNA world title. Morgen says if he’s gonna be used by Angle, why not use him tonight. Morgen will be in Angle and Joe’s corner tonight for the main event, as it looks like Morgen is still playing mind games with Angle. Commerical time.

-After break, Lauren is with Earl Hebner who is not in a mood to explain his actions last week when disqualifying Hernandez. They should never have a referee promo in the history of wrestling ever again.

-Jeremy Borash is with Mick Foley and his two sons as it’s bring your kids to work day. Where all the other TNA wrestlers’ kids then? It’s announced that Kevin Nash will defend the Legends Title against Foley next week on Impact. Dr. Stevie comes in and Foley wants to talk about their old history together. Stevie doesn’t wish to, so Foley makes a match between him and Abyss tonight. Stevie isn’t happy about this.

Match #2. Knockouts Tag Tournament Match: Daffney and Alissa Flash vs. Taylor Wilde and Sarita

-Taz keeps calling Daffney “Zombie Hotness”. Gotta say, that’s the best nickname I’ve herd in a long time. I think Taylor and Sarita could make one heck of a team. This was another fun Knockouts match, as I’m loving the idea of Knockout tag titles. Ending sees Wilde sending Daffney to the floor where they catfight, in the ring Sarita hits an arm-trap belly to belly on Flash! 1…2…3!

Winners: Sarita and Wilde (via pin at 5:05) **

-JB is with Eric Young and World Elite in the back. Young states if Angle wants to have a chat, he knows where to find him.

-Lauren is with Suicide. It’s announced that him and D’Angelo Dinero will face each other next week. should be good.

-Motor City Machineguns come out with their official tissue holders. I wanna buy one of those real bad. It’s revealed that the Guns have their own commentary set up near Tenay and Taz. This is gonna be awesome.

Match #3. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs Jay Lethal

-The Guns talk about how Dinero won a TNA contest for best Michael Jackson look-a-like contest. Unfortunately, there not on comentary for the whole match, but the minute or two they got were just great. During the match, Dinero clotheslines Lethal on the outside and Lethal took a nasty landing on his head. Dinero wins after the DDE, D’Angelo Dinero Express (Running Knees into the corner). Short, fun match.

Winner: D’Angelo Dinero (via pin at 5:00) **

-In the back, World Elite and MEM talk it over, and resolve their problems from earlier tonight. Now their one big happy family again.

Match #4. Knockouts Tag Title Tournament Match: The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky and Angelina “What Visa?” Love) vs. Madison Rayne and Roxxi

-Real shame about Love being released, but from what I’ve herd it’s mostly her own fault for not having a damn visa here in the U.S. Anyways, the Guns are gold on commentary during Love and Velvet’s entrance. Sabin might need a tissue after their entrance. Madison’s mystery partner turned out to be Roxxi, as her and the Beautiful People have history with each other as they caused Roxxi to have her head shaved bald, which is the reason she has one of the ulgiest haircuts I’ve ever seen. This was a short match, as Love rolls up Madison and holds on to the tights to get the win. Ok match, but not as good as the previous Knockouts match.

Winners: The Beautiful People (via pin at 4:05) *1/2

-Cody Deaner is with Foley in the back, demanding to face a knockout tonight in preparation of his match with ODB at No Surrender. Oh it gets better, it’s gonna be MMA rules. This is gonna be painful to watch folks.

Match #5. Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss

-Foley is out for commentary on this match. Stevie attacks Abyss from behind during his entrance. He tries to take control on the match, but as soon as Abyss puts on his flannel that Foley gave him, Stevie starts getting his ass kicked. Abyss hits the Blackhole Slam for the win.  Well I count that as a squash. Kevin Nash enters the ring afterwards to attack Abyss, but Foley gets up from the table and clears the ring for Abyss. I’m gonna say that Foley and Abyss will somehow end up in a feud together by Bound for Glory time. Just have that feeling.

Winner: Abyss (via pin at 1:42) 1/2*

-The World Elite are out to try and recruit Hernandez again. He repeats the same stuff he’s been saying all along and calls out Hernandez, but instead he gets Hector Guerrero, who says that Hernandez is not coming out. He is pissed off though, and all he wants is to give back to the public. Hector really is related to Eddie, as he says the word “Esse” about 30-40 times. Instead of knocking his ass down, Young wants Hector to go to the back and tell Hernandez to meet him later in the ring tonight. Usually we have MEM running wild on Impact, but tonight it goes to World Elite.

-Before our next match, we get a video package of the Tara/Awesome Kong feud. If done right, this could be the best Knockouts feud since Kong/Gail Kim.

Match #6. MMA Rules: Tara vs. Cody Deaner

-Like I said earlier, this is gonna be painful to watch. Well maybe not, as Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin will be on commentary for this entire match. Good call there TNA. Now the match might seem entertaining. Tara kicks Deaner’s ass for the entire match. Sabin: “Now that’s a moustache that commands authority!”. Shelley: “And that’s a moustache that drives a while child’s molester’s van!” GOLD! Ending comes when the ref is knocked down, and Kong comes in and kills Tara with an Implant Buster. Ref wakes up and awards the match to Deaner. Did we have to get a bullshit ending here? Really?

Winner: Cody Deaner (via Kong bitch killing) N/A

-Afterwards, we get footage of Rhino attacking Bobby Lashley at a gym. Really, they can’t come up with anything better to build up this match.

Match #7. AJ Styles and Daniels (w/Sting) vs. Main Event Mafia (Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle) (w/Matt Morgen)

-This match has greatness written all over it. Really hoping we don’t have a commercial break here. Angle and Joe dominate most of the match here. Cool spot later on as AJ and Daniels hit a Best Moonsault Ever and a Frogsplash combo onto Angle. Joe breaks up the pin there as he and Daniels fight on the outside. Wow, not one commercial break during the entire match. Just makes the match look even more good. Morgen holds up a chair from the outside for Angle to throw Styles into, but AJ reverses it and slams Angle into the chair and rolls him up for the 1..2…3! Morgen looks like he’s shocked and didn’t have a clue what just happened.

Winners: Daniels and Styles (via pin at 6:50) ***

-After the match, Angle and Morgen have a confrontation in the ring. It ends up with Angle slapping him like he would if he say Rhaka Khan again, and Morgen fires back with a Hellevator. Morgen signals he will be the next World Champ.

-In the back, it looks like World Elite has taken out Homicide.

-After break, World Elite are in the ring with a beaten up Homicide. Young threatens to hurt Homicide if Hernandez doesn’t come out. SUPERMEX does indeed come to the aid of Homicide and takes out all World Elite members except for Young. Homicide has a chair in the ring, and hits Hernandez in the back knocking him down. SWERVE! Saw that coming. Afterwards, World Elite members take turns beating the shit out of Hernandez. Homicide proceeds to lay the Mexican flag over Hernandez’s body as we fade out

Final Thoughts: Did Russo get fired already? Because this is the third week in a row where we have a good Impact. We got good wrestling, plus younger guys like Morgen, Hernandez, Eric Young, and even Homicide are being built into big time players. Hope they keep up the greatness. See you all next week!

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 ECW August 25, 2009

-We open the show up with a recap of William Regal vs. Christian for the ECW title at Summerslam this past Sunday. Yeah, it was eight seconds long. Just goes to show you how much Vince McMahon cares for ECW these days.

-Regal, Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson come out to open the show. Regal states he united these two beasts together to form his stable. Wonder what he’s gonna eventually call his stable? Heck I can’t think of anything right now. Regal wants another shot at the ECW World Title. Christian comes out and starts calling Regal “Bill”. Ha, never herd Regal been called that before. Tiffnay the ECW GM comes out and makes tonight’s main event Christian vs. Regal in a non-title match, and if Regal wins he gets another shot at the belt. Yay!

-We get a video package looking at the feud between Sheamus and Goldust. Actually makes the feud look cool

Match #1. Sheamus vs. Goldust

-I’m glad they even gave Sheamus a mid-card feud instead of him just destroying jobbers each week till he got an ECW World Title shot. I do see Sheamus having a good ECW Title run soon. These two actually have been having some decent matches as of late, which you wouldn’t really have expected just by looking at them. Both men fight on the outside, which results in a double countout. Guess they might have a rematch soon with no count outs.

Winner: No One (via Double Countout at 4:02) *3/4

-Backstage, The Bella Twins say they will have sex with Shelton Benjamin if he sang. Zack Ryder comes in and ruins the fun. Bella Twins leave and Tiffany comes in before Benjamin kills Ryder. She makes a match with Benjamin and Ryder teaming up. Oh great, a tag match where tag partners hate each other. Lovely.

-We then gets highlights of Hurricane Helms defeating Paul Burchill and find out that they have a rematch on Superstars this week. We go to Courtney backstage with Paul and Katie Lee Burchill. Paul thinks she will end up becoming Wonder Woman. Paul says that The Hurricane is still Gregory Helms and that he won’t be saving anyone, including himself this week.

-We see Regal talking backstage with his two man beasts backstage as we head to break.

Match #2. Tyler Reks and Yoshi Tatsu vs. Shelton Benjamin and Zack Ryder

-If this was given about 15 minutes, this could of been one hell of a match. Yoshi and Tyler definitely are a strange team to put together. A Japanese dude and a surfer dude. Don’t see that working out. This wasn’t really much of a match, as it focused more on the hatred between Ryder and Benjamin. Tatsu knocks Ryder THE FUCK OUT with a kick to the head for the win. WOO WOO WOO, you know it!

Winners: Tatsu and Reks (via pin at 4:05) *1/2

-Before the main event, we get another video package of WWE being in Hollowood this past weekend for Summerfest. I swear itd be just awesome if WWE actually started to call the PPV Summerfest starting next year

Match #3. Non-Title: Christian(c) vs. William “Bill” Regal (w/ Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov)

-Hopefully this match gets more than five minutes, because everyone knows these two can put on a great match if both brought there A game. I just doubt Regal will be the next ECW champ. I’m not saying he wouldn’t be a good champ, I just see someone like Sheamus or even Hurricane being the next ECW World champ. Wow, you could barely notice Jackson or Kozlov being out there. They should have least Kozlov or Jackson interfer at least once or twice in this match to give them more heel heat. Oh finally. Kozlov headbutts Christian in the gut after Christian slapped him on the outside, which gave Regal the chance to hit the Knee Trembler for the win. Looks like Regal vs. Christian for the title again at Breaking Point. This was a great match by the way

Winner: William Regal (via pin at 11:20) ***

Final Thoughts: Glad we got the Regal/Christian match we SHOULD have got at Summerslam. This was a nice episode. Pretty much all the feuds they have going on here was built a little bit tonight. Best part was no Abraham Washington tonight. I won’t be here next week as I’m going to see ECW live here in Cleveland. Until then, see you all later for my Impact report.

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Welcome to another edition of the TNA Impact Report by me, Zack Danielson. For those who don’t know the results of this past Sunday’s TNA PPV, Hard Justice, Kurt Angle retained the TNA world title against Matt Morgan and Sting. Also, Scott Steiner and Booker T retained the tag titles against Team 3D, Kevin Nash beat Mick Foley to win the Legends Title, Samoa Joe won the X-Division Title, Daniels won the Steel Asylum match, British Invasion retained the IWGP Tag Belts, and ODB won the Knockouts Title. It was a good PPV. Without further ado, lets get on to tonight’s Impact.

TNA Impact: 8/20/09

-Show starts with Mike Tenay announcing that Don West is no longer a color commentator, and his replacement will be Tazz. That kinda sucks, since West was getting so much better recently, but least they got a good replacement with Tazz.

-Main Event Mafia comes out for a promo. Oh joy. But before Angle can say two words, Matt Morgan comes out to interupt. Thank God. Morgan has a wooden bat with him looking to knock off Angle’s head for what he did to him at Hard Justice. Angle explains it wasn’t his fault, but Morgan’s. Wrong choice of words Angle. Angle suggests that he and Morgan team up to take on Team 3D tonight in a tables match. At first Morgan looks like he’s gonna kill each MEM member, but Morgan changes his mind and admits what happened at Hard Justice was his fault and he is glad he will team with Angle tonight. I smell a Russo swerve.

-Lauren wants to interview AJ Styles, but he says “Fuck off Bitch.” Well not really, but thats what he should have said.

Match #1. Non-Title Street Fight: The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams w/Rob Terry, Kiyoshi and Sheik Abdul Bashir) vs. Beer Money Inc.

-The referee bans the rest of World Elite from ringside, as it’s stated by Tenay that TNA officials have given the refs more power in TNA. This match was an all-out brawl as trashcans, lids, belts and all kinds of other shit were being used. Plus, this was a real street fight as Williams and Roode were both busted open midway through the match. Ah blood, you won’t see any of that stuff anymore on WWE TV. Ending comes when Storm cracks a beer bottle over the head of Williams, and he and Roode hit the DWI (Driving while Investing) on Magnus onto a trashcan for the win. This was an awesome opener, would of been great if they did this type of match at Hard Justice with the two teams.

Winners: Beer Money (via pin at 5:30) ***

-Lauren is with Angelina Love and Velvet Sky. Angelina doesn’t understand Lauren because she doesn’t speak. Awesome. Love said tonight Madison will pay for costing her the belt. Thank God they didn’t split Love and Velvet, or else there might have been a riot in the Impact Zone.

-In the back, Mick Foley and JB are talking, when Cody Deaner and ODB interupt them. Cody thinks he’s the new Knockout champion. Foley tells both he will decide who the real Knockouts champion  is next week. Wonder who would win in a match between Deaner and Harvey Whippleman? After the two rednecks leave, Abyss comes in. Foley wanted to thank him for saving his ass at Hard Justice. As a token of apperciation, Foley wanted to give Abyss a flannel shirt. Guess that’s Foley’s way of passing the torch. This was a somewhat funny segemnt.

Match #2. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

-Strange how Rayne still comes out to the Beautiful Peoples’ music. Love comes running down the ramp to start the attack on Rayne. Jesus, I can’t recall seeing Love this pissed and intense. Love is throwing Madison around on the outside in the guardrails, and quickly rolls her into the ring and pins her. Afterwards, Velvet comes out and puts the paperbag on Madison. Haven’t seen the bag in a long time. They start to beat up Madison some more until Christy Hemme and Tara come out and run them off. This wasn’t really much of a match, but just an old fashion ass kicking.

Winner: Angelina Love (via ass kicking at 1:00) 1/2*

-We get a video with The Motor City Machineguns, explaining they haven’t been on Impact lately because they don’t play politics or kiss ass. Wonder if that’s a shoot comment. They work for three reasons: Entertaining the fans, Getting Paid and Getting Laid. They are selling themselves off for $2000 an hour just to hang out with you. They will even throw in a ShamWow. This was an awesome segment, hell I’ll throw in 2000 bucks to hang with them for an hour. I like seeing the MCMG but I would rather see them in the ring, actually wrestling.

-We cut to backstage where The Beautiful People are trying to kill Madison Rayne again. And here I thought Awesome Kong was the only Knockout who kills bitches in TNA.

Match #3. TNA X-Division Title Match: Samoa Joe(c) vs. Homicide

-This is a rematch from Hard Justice. I thought Tazz would have gotten out of his seat to be at ringside with Joe, but I guess not. It looks like Tazz is really done with Joe and MEM, and is now just a commentator. Somewhere down the line, this will pick up in a storyline, I just know it. It’s too bad Homicide couldn’t have been champ for another month, but at least he lost it to someone good like Joe. Samoa Joe retains the X-Division Title by pinning Homicide after a Muscle Buster. They only got four minutes, but damn this was one of the best four minute matches I’ve seen so far this year.

Winner: Samoa Joe (via pin at 4:05) **3/4

-The Pope, D’Angelo Dinero has arrived to the Impact Zone and will make his Impact debut tonight. I think it’s great their hyping up his Impact debut tonight, makes him look a big shot.

-Lauren is in the back with a few TNA Knockouts. She announces that starting next week, there will be an eight Knockouts tag team tournament to crown first ever TNA Knockout Tag Team Champions. People have been waiting for a long time for TNA to create another new title belt(s), bet they didn’t expect this. Least it makes the Knockouts Division seem more important.

Match #4. Sarita (w/Taylor Wilde) vs. Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. Traci Brooks (w/Sharmell) vs. Christy Hemme (w/Tara)

-This might be a fun match. It’s announced during the match that four teams in the Knockouts Tag Team Tournament are Taylor and Sarita, Tara and Hemme, Kong and Saeed and Traci and Sharmell. I’m ok with Sharmell in the ring as long as Jenna Morasca is not in the ring with her. They take a commercial break after Sarita dives on the knockouts on the floor. I wish Sarita and Kong would wrestle in a singles match, cause if they did, that match would be twice as good as the Kong/Gail Kim matches. Kong hits the Implant Buster on Hemme, but as Kong climbs the ropes looking to kill Hemme for good, Traci comes in and pins Hemme. Kong goes wild after the match throwing chairs everywhere in the Impact Zone.

Winner: Traci Brooks (via pin at 3:35 shown) *1/2

Match #5. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Consequences Creed (w/Jay Lethal)

-Creed doesn’t get an entrance for this match. The Referee sends Lethal to the back, keeping up with the “Referees taking control” gimmick. Glad to see TNA keeping up with it for more than one match. I swear, if TNA takes it seriously, they could really make Dinero a big time player in TNA within the next one-two years. Pope has looked good during the entire match. Glad to see he hasn’t lost any of his good talent since being released from WWE. Pope wins the match after ramming Creed into the turnbuckle with his knees. After the match, Suicide comes out looking for revenge after Dinero cost him the Steel Asylum match at Hard Justice. Pope quickly gets out of the ring before Suicide can cause any real damage to him. This could be a good mid-card feud.

Winner: D’Angelo Dinero (via pin at 3:20) **

-AJ Styles is walking to the ring to make a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! But first, a commerical break,

-Were back and Matt Morgen is being interviewed by Lauren. Morgen sarcastically states Angle would never stab anyone in the back. Russo is probably pissing in his pants waiting for the swerve.

-AJ Styles comes out to the ring to make his MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!!! Everyone in the crowd is cheering for AJ as it looks like he’s about to cry. AJ talks about the stress of work, losing to Morgan, losing friends like Eric Young and Samoa Joe. Now he is crying. He calls the TNA fans the best fans in the world, but it looks like its time for AJ to say goodbye to them…FOREVER! 4-EV-ER! Sting makes his way to the ring without his facepaint. Sting calls AJ a quiter. Sting talks about how wrestling was stressful to him as well, but he never gave up. Sting talks about honor and respect, and how he wanted to pass the torch to AJ. Sting doesn’t want AJ to leave unless he tells Sting to his face he quits. He says he should either do that, or lace up his boots and claim what is  supposed to be his. AJ decides to stay and hugs Sting. AHHHHHHH. This was a great promo, with the exception of the cheesy hug at the end. Looks like AJ and Sting will be facing at Bound for Glory this year.

-Hernandez is with Lauren. Hernandez says when he cashes in the Feast or Fired heavyweight title briefcase he will win the championship. Eric Young comes out to try to enlist Hernandez to join the World Elite. Hernandez is thinking about it.

-”The Boss” Bobby Lashley is on his way to the ring to join Tazz and Tenay for commentary. What happened to “God of Thunder?” Lashley announces Dixie Carter will make her first Impact appearance next Thursday. Next thing you know, her children will be running the show.

Match #6. Tables Match: Team 3D vs. Matt Morgen and Kurt Angle

-Angle stops by the announce table to stare at Lashley. Angle pie faces him and Lashley just knocks Angle down with a punch. Security breaks it up and sends Lashley to the back. I think it would have been better for Team 3D to cut a promo in the back before the match stating they still want revenge of MEM for what happened to them at Hard Justic, that way this match would have more heat to it. But oh well. This was still a fine main event. I can’t believe it. Morgan didn’t turn on Angle in the match. NO SWERVE! Ah Russo you slim dog. Team 3D wins the match after putting Morgan through the table.

Winner: Team 3D (via table smashing at 9:45 shown) **1/4

Final Thoughts: This was a great Impact. Had a lot of good wrestling tonight, including the main event, the opening street fight, the X-Division Title match, and the great Sting/AJ promo. For a second there, I thought Russo was actually fired. Hope they continue the path of good Impacts. See you all next week.

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ECW August 18, 2009:

-Show starts with the usual pyro and opening video, and Josh Matthews and Matt Striker hype the main event tonight, as Christian teams up with Tommy Dreamer to take on Vladimir Kozlov and William Regal. Weird how they didn’t even mention Regal will face Christian at Summerslam, which by the way is THIS SUNDAY!

Match #1. The Hurricane vs. Paul Burchill (w/Katie Lee)

-STAND BACK, THERES A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH! I’m probably in the minority when I say I’m glad to see Hurricane back. Now it would be even greater if we can get Rosey the superhero back. Better yet, how bout Super Stacy? I will say Hurricane doesn’t look entirely right with the long hair, and would be better with the green short hair. This was a strong, opening match. Burchill managed to hit a really awesome pele like kick, similar to what AJ Styles does. Too bad almost no one in the crowd popped for it. Hurricane hits The Eye of the Hurricane to finish off Burchill and get the win.

Winner: Hurricane (via pin at 8:00 shown) **3/4

-Oh great, ECW has a new dumb blond interviewer. Just what it needed. Her name is Courtney Taylor, and her first interview is with Tommy Dreamer. During the interview, Dreamer is attacked by Kozlov and Regal. Regal hits his running knee to Tommy’s head. Hey Tommy, YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!

-After break, Dreamer is still down when we come back and Christian is with him and the trainers. Dreamer is having trouble getting up and we go to the ring for a match. Oh wait….

-It’s time for the fucking Abraham Washington show. Someone kill this dude. I can’t stand watching this shit on my TV. I’m going to a Smackdown/ECW taping in a few weeks, and if I see this crap live, I’ll run up to the stage and just do whatever I could to get him to shut the fuck up. His guest tonight is Goldust. During the interview, Goldust starts having tics and starts stuttering. Great, out of all the 2003 angles they could of brought back, they bring back this crap. Sheamus comes out and has a stare down with Goldust. Once again, this segment was dumb and useless. Moving on..

-In the back, Courtney asks Tiffany to give an update on Dreamer. He has a concussion and Christian is being allowed to find a replacement partner for tonight’s main event. I felt dumb listening to the two blondes talking.

Match #2. Yoshi Tatsu vs. Zack Ryder

-Hopefully this match makes me forget about the Abraham Washington crap. I like Yoshi, but I just don’t think he’ll make as big of an impact in ECW like Tajiri did back in the original ECW. Now if Tatsu got the Sinister Minister to be his manager, well that would be a whole different story. This was a good, fast paced match, but of course didn’t get enough time as it should have. Ryder wins after a roll up. WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT!

Winner: Zack Ryder (via roll up at 3:05) **

-We get a hype video for Floyd Mayweather as the GM of Raw for next Monday. Yeah, don’t really care….

-We get another video, this time the Raw Rebound focusing of Legacy’s attack on DX. Glad to see HBK and HHH taking a beatdown for once, just too bad it means Legacy will be buried at Summerslam.

-Backstage, Christian says he will go out there by himself if he has to. Tiffany won’t allow it and someone comes in. Christian say that will work and we go back to the ring. Anyone other than Shelton Benjamin will be bad.

Match #3 Vladmir Kozlov and William Regal vs. Ezekiel Jackson and Christian

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Welcome to another edition of the TNA Impact Report. I’m Zack Danielson, and tonight’s Impact main event will be the 3rd and final match of the Best of 3 series between Matt Morgen and AJ Styles, and the winner gets a shot at the TNA World Title at Hard Justice in a 3-way match featuring Kurt Angle and Sting. So lets get to it:

TNA Impact Report 8/13/09:

-We get a recap of last week’s show where World Elite and Main Event Mafia joined together, and when that crazy-ass brawl took place in the Impact Zone.

Match#1. Christy Hemme vs. Sojo Bolt

-Glad were starting with a match rather than a MEM or Mick Foley promo. Hemme has been out of action since Janurary when she sustained a serious neck injury during a training session. Hemme is looking very hot tonight. I just wish they would of gave Hemme a better opponent, like Traci Brooks or one of the Beautiful People. Sojo just sucks in the ring, heck she got the jobber treatment tonight and didn’t get an entrance. There were a few botches in the match, but they were mostly due to Bolt. Hemme wins the match after hitting her finisher called The Flying Firecrotch Guillotine. That’s either the greatest or dumbest finisher name I’ve ever herd.

Winner: Christy Hemme (via pin at 3:38) 1/2*

-Mike Tenay and Don West run down tonight’s card:

-Doug Williams vs. Hernandez

-Sheik Abdul Bashir and Eric Young vs. Rhino and Jesse Neal

-Brother Ray vs. Scott Steiner

-Awesome Kong vs. Tara vs. ODB vs. Angelina Love

-Final Match in Best of 3 series: AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgen

-Looks like a stacked card tonight. Hope least one of those matches get more than five minutes

-Lauren interviews Taz backstage. Taz claims Hernandez didn’t beat Joe, but Joe beat Joe. Taz says Joe will beat down Homicide at Hard Justice this Sunday.

Match #2. Doug Williams (w/Brutus Magnus and Rob Terry) vs. “SuperMex” Hernandez

-This should be a fun match, even tough were guaranteed that there won’t be a Chaos of Theory in this match. During the match, it’s announced that Hernandez will face Rob Terry at Hard Justice in which the winner will get the World Title Feast or Fired Briefcase. That will either be a fun, good match or might be a disaster, since Terry hasn’t had one singles match in TNA yet. The crowd is chanting “U-S-A”, and West is like “Who they chanting that for, the Mexican or the Britain.” West is awesome. Williams goes for a crossbody, but SuperMex catches him and spins it into a sitout powerbomb for the win. Post match, Magnus tries to jump Hernandez but gets shoudler blocked a crossed the ring. Terry comes in and nails him with the briefcase. Terry yells that it’s his case. Hernandez looks pissed when he gets back up and runs to the back to get his briefcase back. This was a fun match

Winner: Hernandez (via pin at 4:05) **

-Hernandez is in the back after commercial and cuts a promo in Spanish. If I had taken Spanish class for more than a year, then I would of told you what he just said

-Special Interview time as Mike Tenay interviewed Bobby Lashley earlier today. Lashley calls himself one of the greatest MMA fighters. Really dude? You only had like what four fights? That would be like Berry Bonds calling himself one of the greatest baseball players ever after hitting like ten home runs in his career. Tenay asks who would win in a match between Lashley and Kurt Angle. Lashley responds by saying the fans would as it would be one hell of a match.

-Backstage, Jeremy Borash is with Dr. Stevie and Daffney. Stevie states to win the $50000 bounty against Abyss, you gotta beat the shit out of him and make him drown in a pool of his own vomit. Oh sick. Abyss comes in and chokes Stevie asking him why he doesn’t do the job himself. Jertho Holiday comes in with a chair beating up Abyss. He yells out “Do you remember me?” I bet like half of the TNA audience, he doesn’t.

- Lauren is with Tara and Poison, that spider thing of hers. Tara talks about Kong being Awesome. They pimp the four-way later and Tara plays with her furry friend.

Match #3. Jesse Neal and Rhino vs. The World Elite (Sheik Abdul Bashir and Eric Young w/Kiyoshi)

-This was another match I got to see live during my trip to Orlando. I can tell you that the crowd loves Rhino, and not so much Neal. Maybe due to that stupid haircut. I actually wasn’t there for the whole match as I decided to get some food and merchandise as this didn’t look like that exciting of a match. As I watch this match, I can gladly say I didn’t miss much live. Ending comes when Rhino wants Neal to tag him in, but Neal decides to try to win the match himself, but gets rolled up by Young for the pin. Rhino looks pretty pissed.

Winner: The World Elite (via pin at 4:13) *

-After the match, Rhino yells at Neal. Guess what happens next folks. Three words. GORE! GORE! GORE!. That’s right, Rhino killed that bitch.

-After break, Lauren is in the back with Rhino who is still quite pissed off. Rhino yells that he wasted his time training a bitch like Neal. Ok moving on….

Match #4. ODB (w/Cody Deaner) vs. Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. Angelina Love (w/Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) vs. Tara (w/Poison the Big Ass Spider)

-Why can’t TNA do a slow-motion entrance for the Beautiful People like WWE does John Morrison. Ratings would sky-rocket if they did that. I don’t understand why TNA didn’t book this for Hard Justice rather then just ODB vs. Love, unless they add Kong vs. Tara. They do a spot where ODB does a crossbody to the outside to Kong, Saeed and Deaner, and Tara does a crossbody to the outside towards the Beautiful People, but she hits her head right on the concrete. It looked pretty sick. Towards the end of the match, Kong was beating on ODB, and Deaner gets on the apron, looking like hes gonna try to fight Kong, but instead plants a KISS on Kong. Talk about sacrificing yourself for your partner. Kong looks mad. Kong grabs Deaner from the apron and nails an Awesome Bomb on him. Kong just killed Deaner. Tara comes from behind and rolls Kong up for the win.

Winner: Tara (via pin at 6:00) **1/2

-AJ Styles and Sting is with Lauren, and the talk about the pressure AJ is under. AJ says nobody ever gave him anything in this business, and he’s going to fight for this opportunity too.

- JB is shilling stuff before bringing in Team 3D. Devon puts over the Steiners and Harlem Heat before saying that nobody is better than the best. Ray pretty much echoes the sentiment and we get a “Tesitfy!”

Match #5. No Disqualification: Brother Ray (w/ Brother Devon) vs. Scott Steiner (w/Booker T)

-This was the last match I saw live. Both teams come out with microphones. Steiner says they don’t care that Team 3D used to respect them, it means nothing to them. Ray says the Steiner Brothers and Harlem Heat were household names, but so is garbage. And just like garbage, they’re both getting old and the stink. They just got served! I could of sworn Jim Cornette said the same thing about Hulk Hogan a few years ago tough. This was an ok match, tough I would of preferred to see Devon and Booker T in a singles match. Midway, Ray puts on Steiner’s head gear and mocks him. It was kinda funny. Ending came when British Invasion comes out and distracts Devon, which results in Brother Ray being put through a table by Steiner and Booker. Steiner pins Ray and gets the three count. Decent brawl.

Winner: Scott Steiner (via pin at 3:32) 3/4*

- We’re back with Tenay, a table, Nash and Foley in the ring for a contract signing. BORING!. They sign the contract without incident, but Foley wants to rip on Nash for doing everything for money. Nash says that he doesn’t understand why a guy who can write best-sellers with ease and have a beautiful wife and family, yet still want to write. Nash says the point is that he’s an athlete and businessman while Foley is a pathetic wrestler. They back and forth some more befor Foley puts himself through the table for free and laughs about it. That crazy son of a bitch!

-We get another promo video for The Pope, D’Angelo Dinero. I wonder if he’s related to the real Pope?

-Lauren is with Matt Morgen backstage. He says AJ had his time to shine, now it’s Morgan’s turn and he’s guaranteeing victory tonight and then go on to the Hard Justice main event.

Match #6. 3rd Match in Best of 3 Series: Matt Morgen (w/Kurt Angle) vs. AJ Styles (w/Sting)

-Their first two matches were pretty good. I hear fans complain a lot bout how TNA doesn’t push younger guys, but now that their pushing guys like Morgen and Hernandez, I still hear people complain about it. I mean we all wish AJ, Daniels and Joe were the top guys in TNA, but it’s probably won’t happen for a long time, so just get over it. But this is a damn good match, and it’s getting a lot of time without any commercials, which is pretty rare on Impact.J tries the springboard forearm but Morgan ducks! Carbon Footprint on AJ! 1…2…3!!!! Morgen goes to Hard Justice in the main event. MEM comes out to celebrate with Morgen over his victory. After break, Angle congratulates Morgen. Angle has one last favor for Morgen to do, and if he does it, hes in the Mafia. Angle actually demands a favor from Morgen. Morgan says nobody makes demands of him, and he doesn’t know when or if he’ll get this chance again, so he’s going all out. He will win the championship at Hard Justice! Looks like Morgen is going face, which is fine with me.

Winner: Matt Morgen (via pin at 8:55) ***

Final Thoughts: There was a lot of wrestling tonight, which again is kinda rare for an Impact Morgen/Styles was probably the best Impact match in a while. Hard Justice looks like its gonna be a great PPV, and if I had 30 bucks, I would buy it in an instant. See you all next week for ECW.

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ECW 8/11/09:

- We open with highlights from last week’s ECW Title match between Tommy Dreamer and the current champ, Christian. This was a great extreme rules match, and I suggest trying to find the match online and watching it.

Match #1. Shelton Benjamin vs. Zack Ryder

-This match came about when Zack and Benjamin had a sing-off on the Abraham Washington show, and Zack attacked Benjamin during it. Benjamin gets a good reaction from the crowd, and it further indicates that Benjamin is being turned face. Shelton wins after hitting the Paydirt. This could of been a really great match, but it was given very little time. Still, solid three minute match from these two. Hope we get a longer match between the two in the future. WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT!

Winner: Shelton Benjamin (via pin at 3:28) **

- Backstage, Gregory Helms is with Paul and Katie Lea Burchill. Helms wants thoughts on his match tonight with Yoshi Tatsu, but Burchill refuses to be interviewed by Helms, saying that he is not stupid and knows Helms is the Hurricane. Burchill then decks Helms and says he isn’t super now.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Kevin Brooks (Jobber #1249)

-I think we all know whats going to happen after this squash is over. Kozlov kills the jobber in about a minute with the Iron Curtain. And of course, after the match Ezekiel Jackson comes down the ring to play “Who can kill the jobber better” with Kozlov. Jackson hits his finisher on Brooks, and Kozlov picks him up and hits the Iron Curtain again. Now I’m getting tired of this Kozlov-Jackson crap.

Winner: Vladimir Kozlov (via Jobber Killing at 1:30) DUD

-Out comes The Bella Twins to be special ring announcers for this match. Oh joy.

Match #3. Yoshi Tatsu vs. Paul Burchill (w/Katie Lea)

-Glad to see Yoshi back on ECW TV. I love to see Yoshi and Christian hook it up in ECW soon. Yoshi had control for most of the match, but when Yoshi gets near the ropes, Katie Lea nails Yoshi with her belt to draw the DQ. Burchill is pissed and nails Tatsu in the back before stomping a mud hole in the corner. But the lights go green, and wait, is that a bird, or maybe a plane, no wait, ITS THE HURRICANE! Burchill can’t believe his eyes as the Hurricane comes diving off the top rope from behind, connecting with a flying body press. Hurricane hits a Lou Thesz Press and punches away, but he gets up and Burchill bails. Hurricane helps up Tatsu and I think Tatsu is confused as all hell. This wasn’t really about the match, just reintroducing Hurricane back to the live ECW crowd.

Winner: Yoshi Tatsu (via DQ at 2:22) 1/2*

-We come back from the break and get a replay of what just happened. We go backstage with the Burchills complaining to Tiffany about what happened. Tiffany says she will take care of it, but will not give in to threats. Serious Tiffany is just as boring and stupid as regular Tiffany.

Match #4. Tyler Reks vs. Tom James

-I’m sorry, but I just don’t care for Reks. I don’t think he has any charisma or character to him, and he just bores me to shit. Reks wins in about a minute after a springboard missile dropkick. Boring and useless.

Winner: Tyler Reks (via pin at 1:30) 1/4*

-It’s time for the Abraham Washington show. God I hate this guy. I’m not the type of person who would be happy if a person loses their job, but in this case, I would be if Washington lost his. I mean, I’ll give him credit as he tries to be entertaining, but it’s not working at all. He needs to go back to FCW for like another year. Anyways, Christian is the guest this week, and its announced that William Regal is the number one contender. It’s Regal vs. Tommy Dreamer next.

Match #5. William Regal vs. Tommy Dreamer

-Exactly what did Regal do to be number one contender. Wouldn’t it had made more sense to make this match a number one contender’s match. Well I guess Vince doesn’t like logical booking. Regal hits the running knee to Dreamer’s face for the 1..2..3. This was an alright match. I was glad to see Dreamer and Regal be more aggressive in this match.

Winner: William Regal (via pin at 5:16) **

Final Thoughts: Definitely a big step down from last week’s show. Probably due to the 5-match formula. Regal/Dreamer was a good 5 minute main event, but everything else on the show wasn’t any good and very forgetful. See you all for the Impact Report.

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Welcome to another edition of the Impact Report. I’m Zack Danielson as usual, and tonight’s main event on Impact is Brutus Magnus vs. Sting. That should be decent. Now I was there live for some of the matches live as they taped a few matches for this edition of Impact on the second night of Impact tapings I went to. So here we go:

-We get a recap of last week’s 200th Edition of Impact. Afterwards, we see a video from earlier today showing Eric Young and Kurt Angle showing up together in a limo. I smell something fishy…..

-After Pyro, Main Event Mafia come down to the ring. Angle states last weeks title change involving the Legends Title is null and void. Kevin Nash will get a rematch for the Legends Title against the current champ, Mick Foley, at Hard Justice. Oh Joy. Angle goes on to say that MEM was forced to strike a deal. Out comes The World Elite. Everyone shakes hands with each other. Young says together as a unit, MEM and Elite will be revered as the greatest team of wrestlers ever assembled and will take over TNA. Well this could actually be good, because it could get The World Elite over as a major main event stable in TNA, and it cold get Young over as a main event player. We’ll see where this will go from here.

-In the back, Jeremy Borash wants to get an opinion from Mick Foley. Foley is MAD!!! Foley is going to give WAR to the Mafia and the Elite. Lashley and Sting come in and say they have Foley’s back. I’m almost certain not all three of them can take out 11 guys.

- Lauren is with Daniels, who has Young tonight. Daniels is pissed at Young for being a traitor and a big asshole. This is one of the worst promos I’ve heard from Daniels. The Guns interrupt and act surprised about the camera being there and real. MTV, Machine Gun TV. Funny stuff. Daniels lays into them and tells them to get noticed, and the way to do that is to go out with Daniels. Presumably to turn on him, right?

Match #1. Daniels (w/Motor City Machine Guns) vs. Eric Young (w/Kiyoshi and Sheik Bashir)

-MCMG are out there, but aren’t really paying attention to the match as they are reading game magazines. Probably trying to find cheat codes for that latest Batman game. This was a decent match. Young got the victory after a Piledriver onto Daniels. Mike Tenay was trying to act like the Piledriver is a move that other TNA wrestlers agreed not to use since it could possibly end a career. That does give Young more heat to the TV Viewers. After the match, Kiyoshi and Bashir take out Sabin and Shelley with sliding baseball dropkicks. Oh those evil foreigners.

Winner: Eric Young (via pin at 5:00) **1/4

-Lauren is with Team 3D and Beer Money who are teaming up tonight. Roode talks about how him and Young used to travel around on the indies together, and how they both begged for a job in TNA. Roode is PISSED! that Young turned his back on TNA.  Ray says he has more reason to be pissed because Young cost them the IWGP titles. Well not really, the match wasn’t sanctioned. Awesome promo by Roode though.

Match #2. The British Invasion (Rob Terry and Doug Williams w/Brutus Magnus) and Main Event Mafia (Booker T and Scott Steiner w/Sharmell) vs. Beer Money (James Storm and Robert Roode) and Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon)

-I’m a fan of eight man tags, so this was a match I’m looking forward to. God Terry looks like Steiner’s older, bigger and stronger brother. Well thanks to our wonderful pal Russo, midway through the match almost all the TNA roster spills out and brawls on the outside while the match is still happening. Not sure why the ref. didn’t call a DQ. Ending comes when Traci Brooks pushes Roode off the top rope and Terry hits him with a spinebuster for the win. There was some good action in the match, especially when Steiner wasn’t in the ring.

Winners: MEM and British Invasion (via pin at 7:00) **

-Everyone on the outside are still brawling even after the match is over. Sting and Foley are going at it with Nash and Angle, Eric Young, Kiyoshi and Bashir are going at it with the Machine Guns and Daniels, Lashley and Samoa Joe are going at it, everyone in the 8-man tag are still going at it, ITS FUCKING CRAZY OUT THERE! After a commercial, THERE STILL BRAWLING!!! Some guys are fighting in the ring, some are in the locker room, and most are fighting outside the Impact Zone. Everyone on the outside are using weapons like trashcans, chairs, tables, hell whatever they can grab. Security and other TNA staff members are trying to control it, but no luck. Finally, Police are here to stop this riot. I like that, only cause that seems more realistically that Police would have to break it up. This brawl was really well planned, and thought it added tons of more heat in all these feuds, even the mid-card feuds.

Match #3. Sarita and Taylor Wilde vs. Alissa Flash and Traci Brooks

-Always great to see Flash and Sarita lock it up in the ring. Might just be me, but Traci’s boobs look to be even bigger this week. This is one of those matches I got to see live, and the crowd definitely seemed into this match. Sarita and Flash really show great chemistry out in the ring, and I really hope they have more matches with each other in the near future. And of course they showed that great chemistry in this match, and even Traci looked good in her first real match in TNA in almost a year. Sarita and Taylor get the win after Sarita pins Flash again with a small package. Good match. After the match, both Flash and Brooks attack Wilde and Sarita. Flash nails Sarita with a Michinoku Driver, and Traci kisses Wilde on the forehead. Oh how sweet of her.

Winners: Sarita and Taylor Wilde (via pin at 5:05) **1/2

- Backstage, Lauren is with The Beautiful people, saying that there’s a four-corner match next week: Kong vs Love vs ODB vs Tara. Love also challenges ODB to a match at Hard Justice for the Knockouts Title.

-Kip James is cleaning up the mess made by the brawl in the back, as well he should be. Hernandez arrives at the Impact Zone wondering what the hell just happened.

-Lauren is with AJ. He says it’s like they’re in a crazy house. He’s never seen anything like this in his seven years. Nothing is going to take away his focuse though. He says he’s one win away from getting a spot in the main event at Hard Justice.

-Hard Justice card is run down:

IWGP Tag Team Titles: British Invasion(c) vs. Beer Money

TNA World Tag Team Titles: Booker T and Scott Steiner(c) vs. Team 3D

TNA X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. Homicide(c)

TNA Knockouts Title: Angelina Love(c) vs. ODB

TNA Legends Title: Mick Foley(c) vs. Kevin Nash (UGH)

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. AJ Styles or Matt Morgen

-Looks good so far. Tenay and West forgot to mention the X-Division Steel Asylum Match. Dammit TNA!

-Tenay has a sit-down interview with Hernandez. They talk about his injury, his background (his father was a Green Beret), Konnan’s flag-burning incident at the start of LAX (his family hated it) and his relationship with Homicide. Right now they’re on different roads and he will be the world heavyweight champion, te gusta o no (Like it or not).

-Homicide cuts a promo in the back, but I couldn’t really understand what the hell he meant. I believe he talked about Hernandez and his match with Joe at the PPV.

Match #4. Best of 3 Series, Match 2. Matt Morgen vs. AJ Styles

-Styles won their match last week, so he has the advantage 1-0. If Styles wins here, he’s in the main event. So it’s kinda obvious who’s winning here. This is another match I got to see live. Crowd seemed pretty into this match as well. The TNA fans love Styles. Not so much Morgen. Styles once again makes this match good and worth watching. But Morgen wins this match after he hits his finisher, the Hellevator. So Morgen ties up the series 1-1.

Winner: Matt Morgen (via pin at 5:15) **3/4

-We get a short vignette for “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, debuting August 16 at Hard Justice. It’s either Elijah Burke, or Julio Dinero making his long awaited return to TNA.

-Jeremy Borash tries to get a word with Kurt Angle, but him and the Mafia are leaving the Impact Zone. After Angle leaves, Abyss comes up to JB wearing a hoodie. Abyss is going crazy over the bounty Dr. Stevie has put on him. Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal try attacking Abyss, but Abyss fights them off. The whole time, Lethal kept calling Abyss “Andre”. Kinda funny.

Match #5. Brutus Magnus (w/Rob Terry and Doug Williams) vs. Sting.

-This was a match I saw live, and the crowd were going CRAZY over Sting. They treat him like hes Hulk Hogan (well when Hogan wasn’t messed up). The referee immediately bans Williams and Terry from ringside. Sting had control early in this match, but it wasn’t a complete squash as Magnus got some decent amount of offensive. But that wasn’t enough as Sting won the match after making Magnus tap out to the Scorpion Deathlock. Ok match, but not enough time, mostly due to a commercial.

Winner: Sting (via submission at 3:20 shown) *1/2

-After the match, the rest of World Elite comes out and beats the shit out of Sting. Mick Foley and Bobby Lashley runs out and saves Sting. But wait, Main Event Mafia are still in the building and runs out and attacks Foley and Lashley. Oh Kurt, you fooled us all. Things look bad for the faces, but then Supermex is here to save the day. Hernandez comes out with a chain and runs Mafia and Elite out of the ring. All the faces are standing tall in the ring as Lashley stares down Angle. I thought this was a great way to make Hernandez look good, as its usually guys like Sting and Foley making the save for the younger guys, but this time it was the other way around.

Final Thoughts: I suggest you go out of your way to try to find the big riot brawl from tonight’s episode, cause it was awesome. Some may not like it, but I sure as hell did. I really think they should of booked this type of show for the 200th edition of Impact. I know Russo is mainly is charge now, but hell for once I think he’s doing a decent job. I’ll see you all next week for ECW.

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Welcome to another edition of Extreme Recap. I’m Zack Danielson as always, and tonights ECW is special. Mostly because theres actually gonna be a extreme rules match tonight. It will be Christian defending the ECW Title against Tommy Dreamer in the extreme rules match. So lets get started:

ECW August 4, 2009

-We begin tonights episode with the Abraham Washington show. I’m not going to even give details about this segment, cause it was just god awful. Someone in the back needs to get rid of this Washington guy A.S.A.P. I mean, if there gonna get rid of THE Brian Kendrick and keep this douche bag, then I really don’t have faith in WWE’s booking anymore. Anyways, point of this segment was that Shelton Benjamin looks to be turning face, and will have a feud with Zack Ryder. WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT!

Match #1. Ezekiel Jackson vs. Danny Danger

-Danny looks to be in danger here. Jackson delivers a quick double backbreaker, and goes on to hit his finishing modified Urninagi slam for the win. That was quick. Vladimir Kozlov makes his way to the ring to play “Who Can Kill The Jobber Better” with Jackson for the third straight week in a row. Kozlov hits an Iron Curtain on the jobber. Afterwards, Jackson hits his finisher again on Danger before walking out. I’m ok with a feud between Kozlov and Jackson, but I would really like to see more advancement in this feud other than both guys killing jobbers each week.

Winner: Zeke Jackson (via squashing at 36 seconds) N/A

-Backstage, ECW General Manger Tiffany is talking to the useless Bella Twins. They walk off and a backstage member tells Tiffany something is all set. A box started falling and the Hurricane comes out of nowhere to save the girl. He leaves and Tiffany comes back making sure everyone is alright. Paul Burchill appears and looks into the camera and says this is ridiculous. Couldn’t agree more on that statement Paul.

Match #2. Sheamus vs. Goldust

-I would of preferred Sheamus facing someone new like Reks or Yoshi, but this is fine with me, especially if there turning this into a feud. Sheamus has the early advantage by shoving Goldust on his ass and hitting a uppercut. Sheamus tries a running powerbomb, but Goldust slips out and runs Sheamus into the turnbuckle. Goldust school boys him, but only gets a two. Dust has control now, and hits a bulldog from off the ropes. Goldust heads up top and Sheamus picks the ankle. Goldust crashes to the mat and Sheamus covers him for the three count. That was anticlimax. Sheamus gets a microphone and starts talking, but Goldust attacks him from behind and starts pounding until Sheamus can escape and head for higher ground. So looks like they are turning this into a feud. I’m ok with that, as I’m liking Sheamus.

Winner: Sheamus (via pin at 4:40) **

-For the first time in ages, we get a Smackdown rebound. It highlights Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison from last Friday, along with CM Punk’s awesome beatdown on Hardy. I mean, Punk absolutely beat the holy hell out of Hardy, and it was 10 times awesome.

- Backstage, Tommy Dreamer says that Christian is a great champion, but Extreme Rules is his match. We then see the ECW World Champion walking with a car door backstage. Interesting weapon there. Main event is next!

Match #3. Extreme Rules Match for the ECW World Title: Christian(c) vs. Tommy Dreamer

-I believe the last extreme rules match on ECW was about two years ago, which is pretty sad. Tommy Dreamer comes down to the ring with a Hot Dog cart. Guess Tommy couldn’t find a shopping cart backstage. There is a bunch of weapons outside, including the trash cans, crutches, and a bunch more stuff I couldn’t see. We get the super special ring announcing for this match and it is time to brawl.

Match begins with Christian grabbing a trash can lid, while Dreamer grabs a Kendo Stick. It’s pretty obvious who’s gonna win this exchange. Dreamer knocks down the lid with the cane, and Dreamer proceeds to hit Christian a few times with the cane to the gut. Dreamer and Christian start to brawl on the outside. Christian charges Dreamer, but gets hit with drop toe hold, slamming head first into the hot dog cart. Dreamer has the condiment holder and drills Christian in the head before stopping for a hot dog, taking a bite before shoving it in Christian’s face. Looking at Dreamer, seems like he had a few hot dogs before the match anyways. We head to commerical

Back from break, Dreamer drills a trash can into Chrisitian but only gets a two count. Dreamer has the kendo stick and uses it to hits a pumphandle suplex for a two count. So far, this is a decent brawl. Later on, Christian charges with the car door and Dreamer smacks him with what’s left of the trash can. “I guess Christian forgot the window was down on the drive by.” Striker is AWESOME! Dreamer looks for a piledriver on the car door, but Christian blocks in and spins around Dreamer… Killswitch on the car door!! Christian covers and gets the win and retains the ECW World Title. Good match, as there were things in the match that you wouldn’t have expected to see happen, including the use of a car door and a hot dog cart. Anyways, hoping this is the end of the Christian/Dreamer feud so we can move on to something new.

Winner: Christian (via pin at 12:23 min shown) ***

Final Thoughts: The Opening segment was SHIT! Luckily everything after that was either decent to good. We had a solid main event tonight, and hopefully the end of the Christian/Dreamer feud. I’m hoping to see Benjamin or Regal next in line for a title shot. I’ll see you all later for the Impact Report.

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Welcome ladies and ladies to another edition of the TNA Impact Report. Tonight’s episode is special. Not only will you see me wearing my big Sting hat on Impact a few times, but tonights show is the 200th Edition of Impact! Thats right, 200th EDITION! Being there live, it was awesome, so I hope it translates well on TV. So without further of do, lets get started:

-We get an extra long opening video package for Impact. It highlights the past 4 years of Impact on Spike TV. It was pretty good and makes tonight’s Impact feel special.

-We open up tonight’s Impact with the Main Event Mafia coming down to the ring. Wonder how many editions of Impact had the same thing happen. Kurt Angle is pissed about what happened last week. Angle says no one crosses him or the main event mafia. He goes on to call out Lashley. Lashley comes out his a black baseball bat. So I guess Lashley and Sting are good buddies now. Lashley states he was gonna join MEM, but when he saw what they did and what they were all about, he changed his mind. Lashley has an offer Angle can’t refuse. This brings out Mick Foley. Foley publicly thanks Lashley for saving his ass last week. Oh, how nice of Mick. Mick goes on to say that Angle stated MEM could bring in ratings, so thats what he wants to do tonight. Foley offers a match idea to Angle. It will be Angle and Kevin Nash against Bobby Lashley and Foley. Stipulation is both the Legends title and TNA World title will be on the line. So whoever pins Nash becomes Legends champ, and whoever pins Kurt becomes World champ. Angle accepts the challenge. I gotta say, this segment was pretty good live, and I think it came off pretty well on TV.

Match #1. Samoa Joe (w/Taz) vs. “Supermex” Hernandez

-Hernandez not only had new music, but not he has new attire. This was another match I’ve always wanted to see happen in TNA, so glad I got to see this live as well. Even tough both are big guys, they can have a match with each other that actually turns out to be good. You don’t see that often in pro wrestling. I remember the crowd really digging this match, even tough it was kept short. Hernandez wins after a big splash from the top rope. Great opener. I’m really glad TNA is pushing someone new and who is under the age of 40. Believe it or not, this push actually continues later on.

Winner: Hernandez (via pin at 4:40) **3/4

-After the match, Jeremy Borash is out to interview Hernandez. Hernandez states he’ll be the first Latino TNA World Champion.

-During the break, Joe went nuts backstage. Taz tells him Hernandez didn’t beat Joe, Joe beat Joe. I think Burger King might of beat Joe as well.

-Lauren is with Matt Morgan, who says he scraped, crawled and scratched for his opportunities. He wants in the Mafia, and says he will beat AJ Styles in the best of 3 series for a main event spot.

-JB is now with AJ Styles backstage. Styles says he didn’t see Eric Young’s heel turn coming. Guess he hasn’t been watching Impact for the last month or so. Styles calls Morgen a bully, but he takes on bullies and states he’ll beat Morgen in the best of 3 series.

-After break, JB is with Lashley and Foley. Foley states Bobby and himself did a lot of thinking and he realised that somebody has to get one of the championships away from the Mafia, and they will start tonight. I agree with the statement, just not the part of Foley actually holding a title.

Match #2. Best of 3 Series (Match 1): AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgen

-This match was actually taped on the first night of Impact tapings. Whenever TNA does three tapings in a row, they tend to tape Impact matches out of order. They taped matches for the next two weeks of Impact on the second night of tapings, but I’ll get to that later. Crowd was pretty hot for this match live, as Styles is a big fan favorite in TNA. I believe this is the start of Morgen getting into the main event spotlight. I’m real interested to see how Morgen handles himself in that spotlight, as some wrestlers come into pressure when they are. This was a good match that got some good time. Styles wins the first match of the best of three series after a springboard 450 splash.

Winner: AJ Styles (via pin at 5:50) **3/4

-In the back, Lauren interviews the new main event mafia member, Traci Brooks. Lauren is disgusted in the fact she wanted to join MEM. Traci states TNA haven’t been using her for the past few months, and she says screw TNA. Traci is now property of MEM. Taylor Wilde comes in and she’s mad she join MEM as well. Traci says women like Taylor isn’t made for wrestling, it’s made for bitches like her. Ouch!

-We get a video of Don West interviewing Tara in the ring from earlier today. Tara says she came to TNA to face the best women wrestlers on the planet, like Awesome Kong. West wants to talk about The Beautiful People , but Tara talks about the favors Slick Johnson has been receiving so West quickly changes the subject. Tara says when she quit WWE, she wasn’t sitting home eating bonbons. West says there`s nothing wrong with a bonbon from time to time. West was awesome in this video.

Match #3, Tara, ODB (w/Cody Deaner), and Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. The Beautiful People (Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky and Angelina Love)

-Don West wants to see a replay of Velvet’s entrance. I concur with him. This was a decent match, tough I didn’t pay too much attention to it live. Only because about two minutes into the match, Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin came through the crowd and were right behind me with signs. Shelley’s sign said “Conspiracy Victims”, while Sabin’s said “We still work here”. Wonder where this storyline will go from here. Also weird because Shelley and Sabin were only seen and mentioned once during the entire match, but both were out there for pretty much the entire match. Funny moment, someone standing next to them told them they were the best tag team of the year, and then I yelled out that The Young Bucks were, and Shelley nodded in agreement. Anyways, Tara and Kong got into an argument and started to brawl midway through the match. Both ended up brawling toward the back, which left ODB all by herself in the ring. Ending came when Love was taunting Deaner, and Deaner got mad and got on the apron. Love kept taunting him and calling him and ODB names, so Deaner plants a big kiss on Love. Love is grossed out by this, which helps ODB long enough to roll her up for the three count.

Winners: ODB, Tara and Kong (via roll up at 6:30 shown) *3/4

-We get a video recap of The World Elite. Afterwards, The World Elite comes out for the tables match. Eric Young has something to say. Young states U.S.A. sucks, blah blah blah. This was kinda a long promo, bot saying it was bad, just way too long. Even the crowd started to chant “Shut the Hell up”. Team 3D comes out and tells The World Elite they can either love America, or just leave it. They rundown to the ring to begin the match

Match #4. Tables Match for the IWGP Tag Team Titles: Team 3D(c) vs. The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams)

-This was a fun match live. Both teams brawled in the crowd for the first few minutes of the match, and Ray and Williams were brawling towards my side during this by the way. The ending was kinda of stupid through. Devon powerbombs Magnus through a table, but the ref was down and didn’t see this. Young comes in and knocks Devon out with a belt, and drags Devon’s body onto the broken table, to make it look like Magnus put Devon through the table. The Ref wakes up and sees this, and awards the match victory to the British Invasion. Like I said, stupid ending to a decent match. It seems like TNA is trying to establish the World Elite as a major heel faction. I’m cool with that, but now that would mean there’s two major heel factions in TNA, and no clear cut face faction.

Winners: The British Invasion (via Russo booking at 6:00 shown) **

-In the back, Dr. Stevie is going crazy and offers $50,000 for Abyss’ head. Ok………..

-A training video of Jesse Neal and Rhino is aired, but midway through the video, they interrupt it as something is going on backstage. We see Booker T and Scott Steiner break into Foley’s office and beat the holy hell out of Foley and Lashley. Security comes in to break it up, but Angle sneaks in with a steel pipe and whacks it over the head of Lashley. One of the staff members yells out Lashley is out cold as we head to commercial

-After break, We see Beer Money brawling with Steiner and Booker in the back. Glad to least see Beer Money on the program tonight.

Match #5. TNA Legends and World Heavyweight Title Both on the Line: Kevin Nash (Legends champion) and Kurt Angle (World Champion) vs. Mick Foley and Bobby Lashley

-Now I didn’t get to see this match live, as this match was taped on the third night of Impact tapings. Nash and Angle make their way out first, but Foley and Lashley does not when their music is played. Nash and Angle are about to be declared the winners of the match, but Foley’s theme is played again and this time, he comes out alone. He takes out Angle and Nash on the outside. He challenges Kurt to come back into the ring, which Angle accepts as we officially begin the match

Nash and Angle had control for pretty much the entire match. As Angle has Foley in the ankle lock, the lights go out. When they come back on, Sting is in the crowd pointing to Angle with his bat. Light go out again, but when they come back on Lashley is in the ring and starts hitting Nash and Angle with lefts and rights. Lashley clotheslines Angle to the outside, and hits a massive spear into the gut of Nash. Nash is down, and Foley goes over and covers Nash for the three count and Foley is the new TNA Legends champion. Not too bad of a match, but for the 200th edition of Impact, I would of wished guys like Beer Money, Daniels and AJ Styles could of been involved in the main event.

Winners: Foley and Lashley (via pin at 6:30) *1/2

Overall thoughts: This was a good Impact. But for the 200th edition of Impact, they could of made it better. Like would it have killed TNA to added in a x-division match to this Impact. But yes, this event was still good on TV and live. By the way, I got to hug So Cal Val during this taping. As Miz and Morrison used to say, BE JEALOUS! See you all next week.

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ECW July 28, 2009

Match #1.Tyler Reks vs. Paul Burchill (w/Katie Lee)

-As of late, I haven’t really been digging Reks. I don’t know why, but I just don’t like him. I figured he would of been future endeavored by now. Anyways, this was a decent opener. I was expecting ECW to start with a Christian in-ring promo, since he won the ECW Title at Night of Champions. Reks continues to not impress me honestly, but this was probably his best match in ECW so far. Tyler wins the match with a springboard missile dropkick.

Winner: Tyler Reks (via pin at 3:55) **

Match #2. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jobber #845 (Bill Baine)

-So Kozlov goes from main eventing Smackdown, to main eventing ECW, to now being a mid-carder on ECW. Some career for the Moscow Mauler. Kozlov throws around the jobber around the ring for a little bit before hitting The Iron Curtain for the 1..2..3. Typical squash match. Afterwards, Ezekiel Jackson comes out and has a stare down with Kozlov before hitting the jobber with his uranage-like finisher. So who would be the face in the Kozlov/Jackson feud

Winner: Vladimir Kozlov (via pin at 1:18) 1/2*

-Backstage, Tommy Dreamer is in ECW GM Tiffany’s office thanking her for something. After he leaves, Shelton Benjamin comes in and requests to be on the Abraham Washington show. Who would wanna be on that show? Tiffany states Benjamin isn’t entertaining enough. Hurricane Helms walks in needing to ask Tiffany a question, and Benjamin leaves saying maybe he has to dress as a superhero to be entertaining. Benjamin as a superhero huh? Nah can’t see it.

Match #3. Goldust vs. Sheamus

-This is a strange match, but I bet Sheamus is happy he’s not facing jobbers anymore. I actually forgot Goldust was on the ECW roster. I just don’t think he fits on ECW, he’s more of a Raw guy in my opinion. I’m just glad they didn’t put Goldust in the ECW title picture right away. Anyways, this was a good match. Some could say this was Sheamus’ breakout match on ECW, but I wouldn’t. I will say this was probably his best match on ECW so far. Sheamus wins after hitting a modified Urninagi into a backbreaker for the three count. Unlike most veterans, Goldust does the job to this youngster.

Winner: Sheamus (via pin at 5:05) **1/4

-After commercial, the new ECW Champion Christian comes out to a huge ovation. Christian poses for a bit and grabs the microphone. Christian states winning the ECW title the second time is better then winning it the first. During his promo, Tommy Dreamer comes out. Dreamer congratulates Christian on his win, and says next week he’ll get his rematch for the belt. But this time, it will be an extreme rules match. Wow, when was the last time there was an extreme rules match on ECW. I know, its shocking. Zack Ryder comes out and tells Christian to worry about this week rather than next week. WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT! We head to break before the start of the match

Match #4. Non-Title: Christian(c) vs. Zack Ryder

-This was an awesome match honestly. I know, it’s hard to believe that Zack “Woo Woo Woo” Ryder can have a great match, but he did right here. Now this is a breakout match for Ryder. Ryder proved here he can be a main event player….least on ECW. Some great spots in the match, including a superplex from Ryder on Christian, and Christian hitting a springboard dive to the outside on Ryder. Christian wins after nailing Ryder with his finisher The Killswitch Engage. This match was better than 7 of the 8 matches that took place at Night of Champions.

Winner: Christian (via pin at 14:00 shown) ***1/2

Overall Thoughts: Awesome main event with Ryder really proving himself. I could now see Ryder maybe holding the ECW title for a few months in the future. So if you haven’t seen this match yet, I suggest trying to find it online and watch it because its a great match and probably the best WWE tv match for the month of July. WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT! I’ll see you all for my Impact report.

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