Pro Wrestling Ponderings

Welcome once again to another Impact Report from yours truly! This week we’re gonna see the final two participants in the TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match at No Surrender get decided in an eight man tournament.

Let’s jump right in!

September 3, 2009

Match #1: No Surrender Qualifying Match: Rhino vs. Sting

The show opens with a brief rundown of tonight’s event and a clip of Rhino going overboard with Jesse Neal. Tenay notes that both rounds of this qualifier are happening tonight. Good to know.

Rhino starts off with some fists but Sting reverses a whip attempt to get the upper hand. Two Stinger Splashes and a takedown leads to an early Scorpion Deathlock! I smell quick match and a jobbing for the War Machine! Rhino’s crawling to break the Deathlock and he gets there after a few seconds. Rhino charges at Sting’s midsection in the corner and Sting is on the ground. Back up and the War Machine is firmly in control. Lots of fists to the stomach and Rhino locks in a chokehold; after a takedown, he puts a body scissors on. Taz is playing up Rhino’s strength. Sting elbows out of the scissors but gets some chops. Stinger Splash misses and he takes a BIG belly-to-belly suplex. Rhino goes for the GORE but he misses and eats a Scorpion Death Drop! That’s all she wrote!

Winner: Sting

Post match, Rhino hits a GORE, flips off the crowd, and lays into Sting’s midsection further. Rhino goes to leave and hits another GORE! Sting is getting attended to as Rhino is forced from the ring.

Rating: **, a really short match that was actually quite entertaining, but I’m annoyed by the booking. I mean, Rhino is taking on Bobby Lashley at No Surrender. He’s now been jobbed out in less than five minutes. How is that going to build up Rhino for the match?

After a commercial break, Sting is getting his ribs taped. Tenay thinks the ribs are cracked.

The Main Event Mafia is in Booker T’s room, and Booker wants to take out Matt Morgan for his actions last week. Kurt Angle is trying to calm Booker down, and the promo is interrupted with Kip James trying to install a phone line in the room. Booker spouts gibberish and starts insulting Kip. Kurt is restraining Booker as Scott Steiner notes that the MEM locker room is being painted and that he needs to shack up. After a few seconds of discussion (and Booker T spouting more gibberish that needs to be subtitled), Steiner is on the putting green and taking big swings. Is there conflict building between the Tag Team Champs? Who knows, since Booker is talking faster than a jackrabbit on crack!

Match #2: No Surrender Qualifying Match: AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabin

Sabin comes out with Alex Shelley, who’s gonna be doing guest commentary. Shelley puts over the MCMG Tissue Holder (which I would SO buy) and our match begins with a lockup.

Sabin puts in an armbar that Styles reverses. Whip into the corner and we get some armdrags. Shelley puts on the headscissors but Styles kips out of it. Remember kids, AJ Styles is gonna be on “Made” on Sunday! Sabin is dropkicked to the outside and Styles gets a headscissors flip on the floor. Styles eats rail and is thrown inside. The Phenomenal One is thrown into the corner and then takes a solid knee in the ropes. Sabin puts in a headlock but Styles powers out.

Styles catches a boot and slams Sabin to the mat. AJ looks to be in control now, powering Sabin to the mat, but Sabin’s up quickly and tosses Styles to the outside. AJ lands on the canvas, SPRINGBOARD FOREARM! That only gets a two! Styles goes for the Clash and Sabin rol;s up for a 2. Sabin tries for a Cradle Shock but AJ gets out; Sabin is on the ropes, TORNADO DDT by Styles! TWO!

AJ misses a leap to the corner and Sabin eats an elbow! Lots of counters and reversals and AJ eats boot. Sabin misses the springboard and gets a Pele. STYLES CLASH! DONE!

Winner: AJ Styles

Rating: ***1/2, excellent stuff given the time. Very exciting and loads of fun.

We’re backstage with Hernandez, who has to face off with Homicide. Hernandez is conflicted because of their longstanding friendship, but he will let nothing stop him in his quest to become the first Hispanic TNA World Champion. Eric Young is here, and he is still recruiting for the World Elite. He puts in a great line about the American Dream being for Americans Only and says that he and Hernandez are familia.

Back from commercial, and Daniels is coming to the ring with a microphone in hand. Daniels wants to talk to Joe face-to-face and Joe obliges. Daniels talks about the X Division and about the Division revolved around TNA; how he, Joe, and AJ *were* the X Division and that the three of them traveled together and came up together and that they were like family. Daniels brings up the Unbreakable 2005 main event, where the three of them put on a classic for the X Division Title, the only time where a match for that belt main evented a pay-per-view. The three of them were synonymous with wrestling excellence, and they made TNA the future of professional wrestling.

Joe doesn’t care. He has things he needs to do. Daniels stops him and tells him he’s changed because he’s in the Main Event Mafia. He says the Main Event Mafia is scared of Joe and they can’t handle him. He says Joe took the money and ran and that no one recognizes him any more, even his wife and son. NOT SMART. Daniels turns to say something to Taz and Daniels is an idiot for turning his back on Joe. HEAD DROP OF DEATH and that’s that.

Matt Morgan is backstage and he says that Kurt Angle isn’t playing head games, rather that Morgan has made rookie mistakes.

Match #3: No Surrender Qualifying Match: Suicide vs. Doug Williams

Williams is already in the ring as Suicide comes in. Lots of wristlocks and counters to start. Williams ends that with a knee to the back and a headlock. Suicide counters with…a wristlock. Williams powers out and runs the ropes. Boot to the face by Williams, and Suicide is whipped into the ropes. He gets Doug on his shoulders, does a roll, and that gets 2.

Williams tries a German but Suicide elbows; Williams pushes him to the corner he hits a back suplex. Knee in the corner and Williams twists Suicide’s head off. Knee drop and lateral press gets a 2. Suicide rolls out of another back suplex and stars chopping Williams. Flying European by Dougie gets another 2. Williams chokes Suicide in the ropes for a bit then hits a snap suplex for 2 again. Whip and knee to the corner, and Williams is on the top rope. Suicide kicks him in the face with an enziguiri. Suicide has the upper hand and is hitting fists until the ref pushes him off. Suicide is in control now with a springboard dropkick, running Russian legsweep, and scoop slam. As Suicide climbs to the top, D’Angelo Dinero is outside and Suicide leaps off the top and takes him out!

Suicide is back in Doug Williams hits a ROLLING GERMAN FOR THE WIN! UPSET!

Winner: Doug Williams

Rating: **1/2, pretty good but a little lacking in the excitement department.

Sting is with JB backstage and the Stinger might have a few cracked ribs. Sting knows he’s not in his prime and he realizes the end is near for his career, but he’s not giving up the fight.

The Beautiful People are up next for a promo as we’re going to commercial (shed a tear for Angelina Love losing her visa to compete in the US and thus getting released, by the way). The girls don’t care who Madison Rayne’s partners is next week.

Match #4: TNA Knockouts Tag Title Tournament: Tara & Christy Hemme vs. Hamada & Sojo Bolt

Tara and Hamada start off. Waistlock reversals start and Tara gets a roll through and bridge pin that gets a 2 count. They work on each others’ ankles, lots of counters, a couple of pin attempts. Double kip up and a standoff. Something’s a little off in the action between these two. Tara bows and she gets kicked in the head. Hamada hits a press and gets a 2. Hamada tags in Sojo and Bolt gets tripped. Tara slams her and tags in Hemme. Split leg drop that gets a 2 and Hemme whips Bolt in the corner. She misses the charge and Hamada is back in. Big kick to the face as we go to commercial.

Bolt is in control of Hemme as we come back. Tara gets tagged in and she unloads on Sojo. Big clothesline and as Sojo gets up, she gets a kick in the face. Hamada breaks up the pin and Hemme hits a fairly ugly Inverted DDT on Hamada to neutralize her. WIDOW’S PEAK AND THAT”S IT!

Winners: Tara & Christy Hemme

Tara takes out the tarantula and Hamada is holding them off. Instead, she hits a Hamada Driver on Bolt. The lady doesn’t like to lose.

Rating: *1/2, decent enough but nothing special. The match started out rough during the pin attempts, but all four competitors recovered quickly. That inverted DDT was pretty ugly, though. Overall, the match was alright but didn’t do a lot for me.

JB is backstage with Kurt Angle. Borash warns Angle that Morgan might be working him. Angle says nobody works him and that Morgan needs him. Lo and behold Morgan is there and Kurt basically asks if the Blueprint has his back. Morgan goes over their history of teaming together (and how it hasn’t really worked out for Matt) and says he’s got his back. Angle naturally asks if Matt is screwing with him. Morgan says it’s career suicide to screw with the Champ. Angle falls for it.

We get a video package hyping up Homicide and Hernandez after the commercial break.

Match #5: No Surrender Qualifying Match: Homicide vs. Hernandez

Hernandez shows his strength early and Homicide tries for a headlock. The 187 gets out of a back suplex and kicks Big H in the gut. ‘Cide tries a sunset flip and gets picked up by the neck. ‘Cide can’t get anything in and Big H nails a Cracker Jack. A Border Toss attempt is broken up and 187 gets a 2 count after a bulldog. ‘Cide starts working on the leg but Big H quickly reasserts control. ‘Cide tries a Tornado DDT but Big H hits a belly-to-belly. Homicide avoids a charge and runs off the rope. He tries something and Hernandez lifts Cide up for-freakin-ever and hits the Dominator. That’s all she wrote.

Winner: Hernandez

Rating: *3/4, not a lot to this match; it dragged a lot and the leg work really didn’t mean a whole lot. Plus I think everyone knew who was winning this one.

Doug Williams says the rest of the British Invasion is going to be backstage for tonight’s match with AJ. While he rates AJ highly, he thinks he’s even better.

AJ is with Jeremy and he says he hit rock bottom a few weeks ago but he’s back at 100% thanks to sting. He’s going to win tonight. Moving on.

Match #6: No Surrender Qualifying Final: AJ Styles vs. Doug Williams

Kurt Angle is doing commentary on this one.

AJ takes Doug down, but Williams rolls out and gets a headlock takedown. Lots of counters and pinfall attempts. Styles gets a headscissors, Doug escapes, and AJ goes for a cradle pin attempt. That gets 2. Williams tries a bow-and-arrow lock but Styles counters for a quick 1. Williams avoids a dropkick and gets a headlock. AJ counters a body slam and gets a body slam of his own. A dropkick gets 2. I’m having a hard time keeping up wit the action of this one.

Kneedrop by Styles gets 2. AJ gets an Indian Deathlock and then releases the hold. Styles counters a charge but Williams hits a Go 2 Sleep variant with a European Uppercut instead of a knee! That gets 2. Doug has a headscissors on where he keeps ramming his knees to the mat. That gets 2. Doug is really innovating in this match. Styles whips Williams and the two collide. Exchanging forearms and AJ hits a nice dropkick.

Doug goes to the outside and AJ leaps out. For a second there I thought Doug had a big bruise on his head. AJ gets a 2 count and puts Doug into a torture rack. He hits a backbreaker/powerbomb thing for 2. Awesome, awesome stuff! They’re on the top together and AJ is shoved off. Doug hits a top rope European for 2. LARIATO by Styles! Styles tries for a Styles Clash but Williams gets out! Williams reverses a waistlock and is gonna go for the Rolling Germans, but AJ holds on! REVERSE DDT! THAT’S IT!

Winner: AJ Styles

Rating: ***3/4, I really, really enjoyed that. Great work from both Styles and Williams…lots of counters that made sense and plenty of innovation plus a good story in the match.

Angle says there is no way in hell that Styles is taking the title off of him. Styles says he’s not done yet and that nothing will stop him on his quest.

After the commercial we’re backstage with Team 3D and Jesse Neal. Ray calls Neal an American hero. We have to hear Jesse’s story AGAIN. Ray botches his subject-verb agreement (can’t help it, I’m an English teacher!). Jesse is under 3D’s protection and they’re gonna help him become a superstar. Devon says they’re after The British Invasion and they’re getting the IWGP Tag Titles back; they’re also going for Steiner and Booker.

Match #7: Main Event, No Surrender Qualifying Final: Hernandez vs. Sting

Hernandez goes right for the ribs but backs off when Sting is hurt. Big H charges Sting into the corner. Sting gets control back with an atomic drop and dropkick. Big H is clearly conflicted about taking out Stinger in his state. Sting goes to the outside AND HERE COMES HOMICIDE. He takes out Sting and that’s a DQ!

Winner: Sting

It’s clear that it’s not Homicide…it’s ERIC YOUNG!

Rating: *1/2, this one wasn’t so good. The finish with it being Eric Young was cool, but there was nothing to the match. It was like a two minute match which had about two offensive moves in it.

Back from the commercial and Hernandez refuses to leave the ring. He wants Eric Young and the British Invasion storms the ring. The entire World Elite is in and Big Rob comes in from behind. I feel like a CLUSTER is coming to finish the show. Here comes AJ! He tries to clear house but the numbers catch up to him. BEER MONEY is out now! They clear the ring.

And now Team 3D is out on the ramp…the World Elite have nowhere to go! We have a brawl and Devon brings the table! Steiner and Booker come on down and attack 3D. Storm is put through the table and the World Elite and MEM stand tall in the ring to end the show.

Overall: All the focus this week was on the final two participants for No Surrender, and that’s fine, but the one night aspect of this tournament made everything feel rushed. I feel like this should have been spread over two weeks instead of thrown onto one show. That said, the show was still pretty good and there wasn’t a whole lot of stupidity either.

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Hello everyone! This is Jason Sterlacci filling in for this week’s Impact Report. For those of you who don’t know, I normally write “I’m With Stupid,” which runs down the stupidest moments in the wrestling week. Naturally, this makes me the perfect person to cover Impact.

I swear I’m joking. Sort of.

Enough stalling from me…let’s get into this week’s Impact!

August 27, 2009

The show opens in the parking lot with Sting and AJ Styles arriving. For those that missed last week, AJ was considering retirement until Sting came out to convince him of otherwise in a GREAT segment. Basically, AJ’s here to work tonight, so his crisis of faith in himself is gone. Kip James then comes out and offers to park Sting’s car. Sting tells him he doesn’t have to and then James mentions to Lauren that he used to have a car like Sting’s…when he was over.

You can tell that Vince Russo pitched that last line.

Match #1: Non-Title Match: X-Division Champion Samoa Joe v. Suicide

Daniels is out for commentary and Joe gives him a big ole staredown. Let me just note one more time; the commentary team is so much better without Don West.

Right as the bell rings, Suicide runs for Joe and Joe proceeds to start destroying Suicide. He lays in with punches, a whip, and a flying a-hole and before this becomes an immediate squash, Suicide hits a dropkick into the turnbuckle. D’Angelo Dinero comes down to observe, and as soon as Suicide gets thrown to the floor, Dinero involves himself. Dinero tries to throw him back in, and Suicide fights back. Then Joe gets involved…and Daniels does too! Hebner throws the match out and announces a tag match for later tonight.

Winner: No Contest

Rating: No Rating, the match was short and was meant to build to an angle later in the night.

We cut to backstage and Eric Young is with Lauren. Young is continuing his movement to get Hernandez in the World Elite and calls Hernandez a second class citizen just like him.

After a commercial, the World Elite is in the hexagon and Sheik Abdul Bashir is addressing the crowd. Bashir decides to talk about the Iraq War. Lots of heel heat, but not the good kind (though it was a good promo, don’t get me wrong). Young takes the mic and gets right back to talking about Hernandez. Within moments, Hernandez is out. Young does the hard sell to get Hernandez is, telling Big H (as I affectionately call him) that the fans think of him as a criminal because he’s Mexican. Young tells him to ‘come home’ to the World Elite and Big H says he is home where he is.

We go backstage and Lauren is with Traci Brooks and Sharmell. Sharmell says that their team isn’t worried about Kong and Raisha Saaed. One of them (I can’t be bothered to remember who right now) calls Kong an elephant and Saaed a trainer. So they’re going to get murdered.

After another break, Lauren is backstage talking about the Knockout Tag Title Tourney and Alex Shelley is zooming right in on her cleavage. Sabin walks in and is looking too. Then Dr. Stevie comes around and asks the MCMG to take care of Abyss.

Match #2: Knockouts Tag Title Tournament: Awesome Kong and Raisha Saaed v. The Main Event Mafia (Sharmell and Traci Brooks)

I think we all know where this is going. Kong goes after Brooks but Traci keeps ducking The Awesome One. Saaed and Sharmell go in and as soon as Sharmell gets pushed down, she tags out. Saaed gets two near-falls but the Main Event Mafia girls get an opportunity when Traci reverses a whip. Sharmell goes for Saaed and the distraction is enough for Traci to gain the upper hand. Traci does a running double knee to Saaed’s back and gets a 2. Brooks can’t capitalize as Saaed manages a tag to Kong. Kong destroys and Brooks barely gets out of an implant buster but gets nailed for her trouble. Kong climbs to the second rope (!) and connects a splash BUT Sharmell breaks up the pin. Kong chases after Sharmell and Saaed tags herself in to get the cover.

We get some post match tension as Kong looks upset that Saaed got the pin. Dissension?

Winners: Awesome Kong and Raisha Saaed

Rating: **1/2, fun match that was fast paced and balanced a potential Kong/Saaed angle with decent wrestling.

Matt Morgan goes into the MEM dressing room and Angle gives us a near “I’m With Stupid” moment when he notes that he’s much more experienced than Morgan….nearly a decade in the business compared to Morgan’s seven! It would have been better if Angle had mentioned his amateur experience rather than note that Morgan’s been wrestling almost as long as Angle. Regardless, Morgan mentions the four-way for the World Title at No Surrender and says that he’s in. So it’s Angle v. Morgan v. two to be decided. I’m assuming Sting and Styles.

Match #3: Jesse Neal v. Rhino

Neal goes to shake hands and gets destroyed by kicks. Neal is in the corner and getting booted. Rhino whips Neal and kicks him first in the gut and then in the head. We’ve got a squash on our hands! All that kicking gets a 2 count; Neal tries to get in some token offense but a whip becomes a spinebuster. That gets the 3.

NOT SO FAST, though. Rhino hits the gore and the ref reverses the decision.

Winner: Jesse Neal via disqualification

Rating: 1/2*, not a fan of that. The idea is that Jesse wants to persevere and succeed, I get it. I don’t think a squash that gets reversed is the way to do it. Moving on.

And now we have my lead item for next week’s “I’m With Stupid.” We’re backstage with Judge Mick Foley, ODB, and Cody Deaner. The Knockouts Title is going to be discussed but before we can begin with that Abyss comes in. Foley gives him a bag of groceries because “(Abyss) loves groceries.” Oh dear lord, this is making my brain hurt. Anyway, ODB argues she should be champ because she’s a woman and Deaner isn’t (good point). Deaner argues that he knocked out Mike Tyson while in Vegas in a reference to The Hangover that is ignored by Foley, who just does a Tyson impersonation. Deaner then says he knocked out Chuck Norris. We get a Chuck Norris joke, Foley says the title is officially HELD UP, and they’ll have a match to sort it out.

I need a drink.

Match #4: Handicap Match: Abyss v. The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin)

The MCMG jump Abyss and get some good double team offense in. They go for the suplex and Abyss reverses it for the upper hand. Abyss nails a side suplex on Shelley and chokeslams Sabin right on top. Abyss then goes 1 for 2 on avalanches (Shelley gets out of the way) and the Guns hit a dropkick and enziguiri simultaneously. Dropkicks a plenty and all three men are on the outside after a dropkick to the floor, cross body that gets caught, and tope. Abyss gets rolled in and Shelley goes for a cross body attempt that gets caught…yes, another. Sabin gets a 2 after a missile dropkick. A sliced bread is blocked and Abyss goes for Shock Treatment on Shelley. Sabin goes to break it up but gets a boot. Shelley gets hit by Shock Treatment as Sabin gets a leg. Shelley distracts the ref as Dr. Stevie comes down to interfere, Sabin goes for a springboard but gets the Black Hole Slam! That’s all she wrote.

Winner: Abyss

Rating: **1/4, not a bad match by any means, though I do have complaints about the Guns being jobbed out due to my own personal bias.

Stevie starts ripping into the Guns post-match, and he gets put in the Tree of Joey Lawrence and takes a dropkick for his troubles. Abyss has got a chair, but Kevin Nash is out as we go to commercial.

When Impact comes back from the break, Nash announces that he’s going to take Dr. Stevie’s bounty offer. It’s Nash v. Abyss at No Surrender in a match that I will be sure to avoid watching like the plague.

Lauren is backstage with Daffney. She’s going to square off with Hamada in our next match, which is Hamada’s debut. Daffney’s playing up the lunacy and talks about killing the sheep she counts for sleeping purposes.

Moving on.

Match #5: No-Disqualification Match, Daffney v. Hamada

I assume the match is No DQ to help Hamada get over real quick-like in the Impact Zone. Smart move if correct.

Daffney starts off strong with a snapmare, blockbuster, and chest kick that gets a 2. We get a chop-off that breaks down when Daffney hits a forearm and Hamada hits a good kick. Head shot! Daffney goes to the apron and Hamada kicks her in the head. NICE. The ladies are on the outside at the commercial break.

Daffney hits a running clothesline as the show resumes. She hits an elbow from the ropes for 2; Hamada gets whipped but she hits a superkick and enziguiri when Daffney charges. More chops, then headbutts, then a DDT all add up to a 2 count on Daff. Hamada goes for a spin kick that gets ducked and Daff follows through with a nice shining wizard that gets a 2. Hamada goes to the floor and I see a table. Daffney grabs a chair and swings but misses and hits the ringpost. Hamada nails Daffney with the chair, putting it around her head, and runs her into the post! NICE AGAIN. Daffney’s put on the table and Hamada hits a MOONSAULT THROUGH THE TABLE. NICE A THIRD TIME. A Michinoku Driver polishes off Daffney and that’s it! I like Hamada a lot.

Winner: Hamada

Rating: ***1/4, a really good match for free TV that accomplishes the goal of getting Hamada over post haste. I want to see more.

The Beautiful People are backstage at the commercial. When Impact comes back Sky and Love have found Madison Rayne. They tell her that they don’t care about her surprise partner, we get some piefacing, and Rayne gets beat down. NEXT!

Match #6: D’Angelo Dinero and X-Division Champion Samoa Joe v. Suicide and Daniels

Joe starts off with Suicide. Joe puts him in the kimura lock and tags in Dinero. He works on the other arm and takes a dropkick. Suicide tags in Daniels and they double team the Pope. Daniels hits a scoop slam and a split legged moonsault that gets a 2 count. Daniels goes for a whip that gets reversed and Joe knees him in the back; Dinero takes advantage and we get an STO as the show heads to break.

Joe is in now and he’s punching away at Daniels who hits an enziguiri and STO. Double tag! Suicide is in control on Dinero. We get some hands and a heel kick followed by a neckbreaker that gets 2. We get another two that’s broken up by Joe. Daniels comes in too and we’re back to a cluster. Is the ref gonna throw this out, too? Nope…Joe and Dinero clean house with the former hitting a clothesline on Suicide and the latter nailing Daniels with a German suplex. Suicide and Daniels are outside and Daniels moves as Joe goes for the tope. Split legged moonsault! Suicide is back in the ring and misses a cross body to Dinero. Dinero is measuring him up for the Experience (is he still calling it that?) and Suicide moves, gets an inside cradle, and gets the three!

Winners: Suicide and Daniels

Rating: **1/2, nothing to write home about, but this was still pretty entertaining.

Dixie is backstage. The three year deal with Spike is announced and Bobby Lashley explains his motivations for coming to TNA. Really not that bad of a segment, but kind of boring. Lashley v. Rhino is announced for No Surrender.

Match #7 (Main Event): Sting, AJ Styles, and Hernandez v. Matt Morgan and World Tag Team Champions Scott Steiner and Booker T

Kurt Angle comes out for commentary. He calls AJ a quitter. Sting and Booker start up. Sting gets the early upper hand with an inverted atomic drop and dropkick. Sting hits a hip toss and AJ is tagged in. Booker gets control and tags in Steiner. Want to guess what happens? If you say Styles gets control back and tags in Hernandez, pat yourself on the back! And now Morgan’s in! Hernandez tries and fails to take Morgan down and Morgan hits a clothesline that takes Big H to the canvas. Big H knees Morgan and puts the Blueprint into a delayed suplex. Morgan goes to the outside and Impact goes to commercial as Big H hits a Mexican Torpedo on the MEM while they’re regrouping.

Steiner’s got a chinlock on AJ when the show comes back. AJ breaks it but gets a belly-to-belly immediately. That’s good for 2 and the Blueprint comes in. He goes for a powerslam but AJ gets out of it and Big H is back in! Hernandez cleans house and Morgan gets tackled. Steiner breaks up the pin attempt and all six men are in the hexagon now. IT’S BREAKING DOWN ON THURSDAY NIGHT! The four illegal men go back outside and Hernandez misses on a charge. Morgan’s going to go for the Hellavator, but Steiner enters the ring with a chair. Morgan’s not so trusting, and Big H takes advantage. He pushes Morgan into the chair and AJ hits a cross body for the pin!

Morgan levels the Tag Champs and stares down Angle as the show concludes.

Winners: AJ Styles, Sting, and Hernandez

Rating: ***1/4, pretty good, plus the Morgan angle continues. I’m starting to believe that he will wind up World Champ, and this is what we call a “good loss.” Plus AJ gets his groove back by pinning the guy who caused him to have his doubts. All around good storytelling.

Overall: Pretty good show, but not perfect. Some of the backstage segments (Foley/Abyss/ODB/Deaner and The Beautiful People/Madison) were awful, but from an in-ring standpoint there were five matches that ranged from passable to good. The other two matches were a VERY short squash and a short non-finished opener that at least built to our semi-main.

Could Impact be improving to the point where “I’m With Stupid” will be passé just one week in? In all seriousness, this is two straight weeks of improving Impacts. This is a good building point for the future.

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Welcome to another edition of the TNA Impact Report by me, Zack Danielson. For those who don’t know the results of this past Sunday’s TNA PPV, Hard Justice, Kurt Angle retained the TNA world title against Matt Morgan and Sting. Also, Scott Steiner and Booker T retained the tag titles against Team 3D, Kevin Nash beat Mick Foley to win the Legends Title, Samoa Joe won the X-Division Title, Daniels won the Steel Asylum match, British Invasion retained the IWGP Tag Belts, and ODB won the Knockouts Title. It was a good PPV. Without further ado, lets get on to tonight’s Impact.

TNA Impact: 8/20/09

-Show starts with Mike Tenay announcing that Don West is no longer a color commentator, and his replacement will be Tazz. That kinda sucks, since West was getting so much better recently, but least they got a good replacement with Tazz.

-Main Event Mafia comes out for a promo. Oh joy. But before Angle can say two words, Matt Morgan comes out to interupt. Thank God. Morgan has a wooden bat with him looking to knock off Angle’s head for what he did to him at Hard Justice. Angle explains it wasn’t his fault, but Morgan’s. Wrong choice of words Angle. Angle suggests that he and Morgan team up to take on Team 3D tonight in a tables match. At first Morgan looks like he’s gonna kill each MEM member, but Morgan changes his mind and admits what happened at Hard Justice was his fault and he is glad he will team with Angle tonight. I smell a Russo swerve.

-Lauren wants to interview AJ Styles, but he says “Fuck off Bitch.” Well not really, but thats what he should have said.

Match #1. Non-Title Street Fight: The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams w/Rob Terry, Kiyoshi and Sheik Abdul Bashir) vs. Beer Money Inc.

-The referee bans the rest of World Elite from ringside, as it’s stated by Tenay that TNA officials have given the refs more power in TNA. This match was an all-out brawl as trashcans, lids, belts and all kinds of other shit were being used. Plus, this was a real street fight as Williams and Roode were both busted open midway through the match. Ah blood, you won’t see any of that stuff anymore on WWE TV. Ending comes when Storm cracks a beer bottle over the head of Williams, and he and Roode hit the DWI (Driving while Investing) on Magnus onto a trashcan for the win. This was an awesome opener, would of been great if they did this type of match at Hard Justice with the two teams.

Winners: Beer Money (via pin at 5:30) ***

-Lauren is with Angelina Love and Velvet Sky. Angelina doesn’t understand Lauren because she doesn’t speak. Awesome. Love said tonight Madison will pay for costing her the belt. Thank God they didn’t split Love and Velvet, or else there might have been a riot in the Impact Zone.

-In the back, Mick Foley and JB are talking, when Cody Deaner and ODB interupt them. Cody thinks he’s the new Knockout champion. Foley tells both he will decide who the real Knockouts champion  is next week. Wonder who would win in a match between Deaner and Harvey Whippleman? After the two rednecks leave, Abyss comes in. Foley wanted to thank him for saving his ass at Hard Justice. As a token of apperciation, Foley wanted to give Abyss a flannel shirt. Guess that’s Foley’s way of passing the torch. This was a somewhat funny segemnt.

Match #2. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

-Strange how Rayne still comes out to the Beautiful Peoples’ music. Love comes running down the ramp to start the attack on Rayne. Jesus, I can’t recall seeing Love this pissed and intense. Love is throwing Madison around on the outside in the guardrails, and quickly rolls her into the ring and pins her. Afterwards, Velvet comes out and puts the paperbag on Madison. Haven’t seen the bag in a long time. They start to beat up Madison some more until Christy Hemme and Tara come out and run them off. This wasn’t really much of a match, but just an old fashion ass kicking.

Winner: Angelina Love (via ass kicking at 1:00) 1/2*

-We get a video with The Motor City Machineguns, explaining they haven’t been on Impact lately because they don’t play politics or kiss ass. Wonder if that’s a shoot comment. They work for three reasons: Entertaining the fans, Getting Paid and Getting Laid. They are selling themselves off for $2000 an hour just to hang out with you. They will even throw in a ShamWow. This was an awesome segment, hell I’ll throw in 2000 bucks to hang with them for an hour. I like seeing the MCMG but I would rather see them in the ring, actually wrestling.

-We cut to backstage where The Beautiful People are trying to kill Madison Rayne again. And here I thought Awesome Kong was the only Knockout who kills bitches in TNA.

Match #3. TNA X-Division Title Match: Samoa Joe(c) vs. Homicide

-This is a rematch from Hard Justice. I thought Tazz would have gotten out of his seat to be at ringside with Joe, but I guess not. It looks like Tazz is really done with Joe and MEM, and is now just a commentator. Somewhere down the line, this will pick up in a storyline, I just know it. It’s too bad Homicide couldn’t have been champ for another month, but at least he lost it to someone good like Joe. Samoa Joe retains the X-Division Title by pinning Homicide after a Muscle Buster. They only got four minutes, but damn this was one of the best four minute matches I’ve seen so far this year.

Winner: Samoa Joe (via pin at 4:05) **3/4

-The Pope, D’Angelo Dinero has arrived to the Impact Zone and will make his Impact debut tonight. I think it’s great their hyping up his Impact debut tonight, makes him look a big shot.

-Lauren is in the back with a few TNA Knockouts. She announces that starting next week, there will be an eight Knockouts tag team tournament to crown first ever TNA Knockout Tag Team Champions. People have been waiting for a long time for TNA to create another new title belt(s), bet they didn’t expect this. Least it makes the Knockouts Division seem more important.

Match #4. Sarita (w/Taylor Wilde) vs. Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. Traci Brooks (w/Sharmell) vs. Christy Hemme (w/Tara)

-This might be a fun match. It’s announced during the match that four teams in the Knockouts Tag Team Tournament are Taylor and Sarita, Tara and Hemme, Kong and Saeed and Traci and Sharmell. I’m ok with Sharmell in the ring as long as Jenna Morasca is not in the ring with her. They take a commercial break after Sarita dives on the knockouts on the floor. I wish Sarita and Kong would wrestle in a singles match, cause if they did, that match would be twice as good as the Kong/Gail Kim matches. Kong hits the Implant Buster on Hemme, but as Kong climbs the ropes looking to kill Hemme for good, Traci comes in and pins Hemme. Kong goes wild after the match throwing chairs everywhere in the Impact Zone.

Winner: Traci Brooks (via pin at 3:35 shown) *1/2

Match #5. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Consequences Creed (w/Jay Lethal)

-Creed doesn’t get an entrance for this match. The Referee sends Lethal to the back, keeping up with the “Referees taking control” gimmick. Glad to see TNA keeping up with it for more than one match. I swear, if TNA takes it seriously, they could really make Dinero a big time player in TNA within the next one-two years. Pope has looked good during the entire match. Glad to see he hasn’t lost any of his good talent since being released from WWE. Pope wins the match after ramming Creed into the turnbuckle with his knees. After the match, Suicide comes out looking for revenge after Dinero cost him the Steel Asylum match at Hard Justice. Pope quickly gets out of the ring before Suicide can cause any real damage to him. This could be a good mid-card feud.

Winner: D’Angelo Dinero (via pin at 3:20) **

-AJ Styles is walking to the ring to make a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! But first, a commerical break,

-Were back and Matt Morgen is being interviewed by Lauren. Morgen sarcastically states Angle would never stab anyone in the back. Russo is probably pissing in his pants waiting for the swerve.

-AJ Styles comes out to the ring to make his MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!!! Everyone in the crowd is cheering for AJ as it looks like he’s about to cry. AJ talks about the stress of work, losing to Morgan, losing friends like Eric Young and Samoa Joe. Now he is crying. He calls the TNA fans the best fans in the world, but it looks like its time for AJ to say goodbye to them…FOREVER! 4-EV-ER! Sting makes his way to the ring without his facepaint. Sting calls AJ a quiter. Sting talks about how wrestling was stressful to him as well, but he never gave up. Sting talks about honor and respect, and how he wanted to pass the torch to AJ. Sting doesn’t want AJ to leave unless he tells Sting to his face he quits. He says he should either do that, or lace up his boots and claim what is  supposed to be his. AJ decides to stay and hugs Sting. AHHHHHHH. This was a great promo, with the exception of the cheesy hug at the end. Looks like AJ and Sting will be facing at Bound for Glory this year.

-Hernandez is with Lauren. Hernandez says when he cashes in the Feast or Fired heavyweight title briefcase he will win the championship. Eric Young comes out to try to enlist Hernandez to join the World Elite. Hernandez is thinking about it.

-”The Boss” Bobby Lashley is on his way to the ring to join Tazz and Tenay for commentary. What happened to “God of Thunder?” Lashley announces Dixie Carter will make her first Impact appearance next Thursday. Next thing you know, her children will be running the show.

Match #6. Tables Match: Team 3D vs. Matt Morgen and Kurt Angle

-Angle stops by the announce table to stare at Lashley. Angle pie faces him and Lashley just knocks Angle down with a punch. Security breaks it up and sends Lashley to the back. I think it would have been better for Team 3D to cut a promo in the back before the match stating they still want revenge of MEM for what happened to them at Hard Justic, that way this match would have more heat to it. But oh well. This was still a fine main event. I can’t believe it. Morgan didn’t turn on Angle in the match. NO SWERVE! Ah Russo you slim dog. Team 3D wins the match after putting Morgan through the table.

Winner: Team 3D (via table smashing at 9:45 shown) **1/4

Final Thoughts: This was a great Impact. Had a lot of good wrestling tonight, including the main event, the opening street fight, the X-Division Title match, and the great Sting/AJ promo. For a second there, I thought Russo was actually fired. Hope they continue the path of good Impacts. See you all next week.

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Welcome to another edition of the TNA Impact Report. I’m Zack Danielson, and tonight’s Impact main event will be the 3rd and final match of the Best of 3 series between Matt Morgen and AJ Styles, and the winner gets a shot at the TNA World Title at Hard Justice in a 3-way match featuring Kurt Angle and Sting. So lets get to it:

TNA Impact Report 8/13/09:

-We get a recap of last week’s show where World Elite and Main Event Mafia joined together, and when that crazy-ass brawl took place in the Impact Zone.

Match#1. Christy Hemme vs. Sojo Bolt

-Glad were starting with a match rather than a MEM or Mick Foley promo. Hemme has been out of action since Janurary when she sustained a serious neck injury during a training session. Hemme is looking very hot tonight. I just wish they would of gave Hemme a better opponent, like Traci Brooks or one of the Beautiful People. Sojo just sucks in the ring, heck she got the jobber treatment tonight and didn’t get an entrance. There were a few botches in the match, but they were mostly due to Bolt. Hemme wins the match after hitting her finisher called The Flying Firecrotch Guillotine. That’s either the greatest or dumbest finisher name I’ve ever herd.

Winner: Christy Hemme (via pin at 3:38) 1/2*

-Mike Tenay and Don West run down tonight’s card:

-Doug Williams vs. Hernandez

-Sheik Abdul Bashir and Eric Young vs. Rhino and Jesse Neal

-Brother Ray vs. Scott Steiner

-Awesome Kong vs. Tara vs. ODB vs. Angelina Love

-Final Match in Best of 3 series: AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgen

-Looks like a stacked card tonight. Hope least one of those matches get more than five minutes

-Lauren interviews Taz backstage. Taz claims Hernandez didn’t beat Joe, but Joe beat Joe. Taz says Joe will beat down Homicide at Hard Justice this Sunday.

Match #2. Doug Williams (w/Brutus Magnus and Rob Terry) vs. “SuperMex” Hernandez

-This should be a fun match, even tough were guaranteed that there won’t be a Chaos of Theory in this match. During the match, it’s announced that Hernandez will face Rob Terry at Hard Justice in which the winner will get the World Title Feast or Fired Briefcase. That will either be a fun, good match or might be a disaster, since Terry hasn’t had one singles match in TNA yet. The crowd is chanting “U-S-A”, and West is like “Who they chanting that for, the Mexican or the Britain.” West is awesome. Williams goes for a crossbody, but SuperMex catches him and spins it into a sitout powerbomb for the win. Post match, Magnus tries to jump Hernandez but gets shoudler blocked a crossed the ring. Terry comes in and nails him with the briefcase. Terry yells that it’s his case. Hernandez looks pissed when he gets back up and runs to the back to get his briefcase back. This was a fun match

Winner: Hernandez (via pin at 4:05) **

-Hernandez is in the back after commercial and cuts a promo in Spanish. If I had taken Spanish class for more than a year, then I would of told you what he just said

-Special Interview time as Mike Tenay interviewed Bobby Lashley earlier today. Lashley calls himself one of the greatest MMA fighters. Really dude? You only had like what four fights? That would be like Berry Bonds calling himself one of the greatest baseball players ever after hitting like ten home runs in his career. Tenay asks who would win in a match between Lashley and Kurt Angle. Lashley responds by saying the fans would as it would be one hell of a match.

-Backstage, Jeremy Borash is with Dr. Stevie and Daffney. Stevie states to win the $50000 bounty against Abyss, you gotta beat the shit out of him and make him drown in a pool of his own vomit. Oh sick. Abyss comes in and chokes Stevie asking him why he doesn’t do the job himself. Jertho Holiday comes in with a chair beating up Abyss. He yells out “Do you remember me?” I bet like half of the TNA audience, he doesn’t.

- Lauren is with Tara and Poison, that spider thing of hers. Tara talks about Kong being Awesome. They pimp the four-way later and Tara plays with her furry friend.

Match #3. Jesse Neal and Rhino vs. The World Elite (Sheik Abdul Bashir and Eric Young w/Kiyoshi)

-This was another match I got to see live during my trip to Orlando. I can tell you that the crowd loves Rhino, and not so much Neal. Maybe due to that stupid haircut. I actually wasn’t there for the whole match as I decided to get some food and merchandise as this didn’t look like that exciting of a match. As I watch this match, I can gladly say I didn’t miss much live. Ending comes when Rhino wants Neal to tag him in, but Neal decides to try to win the match himself, but gets rolled up by Young for the pin. Rhino looks pretty pissed.

Winner: The World Elite (via pin at 4:13) *

-After the match, Rhino yells at Neal. Guess what happens next folks. Three words. GORE! GORE! GORE!. That’s right, Rhino killed that bitch.

-After break, Lauren is in the back with Rhino who is still quite pissed off. Rhino yells that he wasted his time training a bitch like Neal. Ok moving on….

Match #4. ODB (w/Cody Deaner) vs. Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. Angelina Love (w/Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) vs. Tara (w/Poison the Big Ass Spider)

-Why can’t TNA do a slow-motion entrance for the Beautiful People like WWE does John Morrison. Ratings would sky-rocket if they did that. I don’t understand why TNA didn’t book this for Hard Justice rather then just ODB vs. Love, unless they add Kong vs. Tara. They do a spot where ODB does a crossbody to the outside to Kong, Saeed and Deaner, and Tara does a crossbody to the outside towards the Beautiful People, but she hits her head right on the concrete. It looked pretty sick. Towards the end of the match, Kong was beating on ODB, and Deaner gets on the apron, looking like hes gonna try to fight Kong, but instead plants a KISS on Kong. Talk about sacrificing yourself for your partner. Kong looks mad. Kong grabs Deaner from the apron and nails an Awesome Bomb on him. Kong just killed Deaner. Tara comes from behind and rolls Kong up for the win.

Winner: Tara (via pin at 6:00) **1/2

-AJ Styles and Sting is with Lauren, and the talk about the pressure AJ is under. AJ says nobody ever gave him anything in this business, and he’s going to fight for this opportunity too.

- JB is shilling stuff before bringing in Team 3D. Devon puts over the Steiners and Harlem Heat before saying that nobody is better than the best. Ray pretty much echoes the sentiment and we get a “Tesitfy!”

Match #5. No Disqualification: Brother Ray (w/ Brother Devon) vs. Scott Steiner (w/Booker T)

-This was the last match I saw live. Both teams come out with microphones. Steiner says they don’t care that Team 3D used to respect them, it means nothing to them. Ray says the Steiner Brothers and Harlem Heat were household names, but so is garbage. And just like garbage, they’re both getting old and the stink. They just got served! I could of sworn Jim Cornette said the same thing about Hulk Hogan a few years ago tough. This was an ok match, tough I would of preferred to see Devon and Booker T in a singles match. Midway, Ray puts on Steiner’s head gear and mocks him. It was kinda funny. Ending came when British Invasion comes out and distracts Devon, which results in Brother Ray being put through a table by Steiner and Booker. Steiner pins Ray and gets the three count. Decent brawl.

Winner: Scott Steiner (via pin at 3:32) 3/4*

- We’re back with Tenay, a table, Nash and Foley in the ring for a contract signing. BORING!. They sign the contract without incident, but Foley wants to rip on Nash for doing everything for money. Nash says that he doesn’t understand why a guy who can write best-sellers with ease and have a beautiful wife and family, yet still want to write. Nash says the point is that he’s an athlete and businessman while Foley is a pathetic wrestler. They back and forth some more befor Foley puts himself through the table for free and laughs about it. That crazy son of a bitch!

-We get another promo video for The Pope, D’Angelo Dinero. I wonder if he’s related to the real Pope?

-Lauren is with Matt Morgen backstage. He says AJ had his time to shine, now it’s Morgan’s turn and he’s guaranteeing victory tonight and then go on to the Hard Justice main event.

Match #6. 3rd Match in Best of 3 Series: Matt Morgen (w/Kurt Angle) vs. AJ Styles (w/Sting)

-Their first two matches were pretty good. I hear fans complain a lot bout how TNA doesn’t push younger guys, but now that their pushing guys like Morgen and Hernandez, I still hear people complain about it. I mean we all wish AJ, Daniels and Joe were the top guys in TNA, but it’s probably won’t happen for a long time, so just get over it. But this is a damn good match, and it’s getting a lot of time without any commercials, which is pretty rare on Impact.J tries the springboard forearm but Morgan ducks! Carbon Footprint on AJ! 1…2…3!!!! Morgen goes to Hard Justice in the main event. MEM comes out to celebrate with Morgen over his victory. After break, Angle congratulates Morgen. Angle has one last favor for Morgen to do, and if he does it, hes in the Mafia. Angle actually demands a favor from Morgen. Morgan says nobody makes demands of him, and he doesn’t know when or if he’ll get this chance again, so he’s going all out. He will win the championship at Hard Justice! Looks like Morgen is going face, which is fine with me.

Winner: Matt Morgen (via pin at 8:55) ***

Final Thoughts: There was a lot of wrestling tonight, which again is kinda rare for an Impact Morgen/Styles was probably the best Impact match in a while. Hard Justice looks like its gonna be a great PPV, and if I had 30 bucks, I would buy it in an instant. See you all next week for ECW.

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Welcome to another edition of the Impact Report. I’m Zack Danielson as usual, and tonight’s main event on Impact is Brutus Magnus vs. Sting. That should be decent. Now I was there live for some of the matches live as they taped a few matches for this edition of Impact on the second night of Impact tapings I went to. So here we go:

-We get a recap of last week’s 200th Edition of Impact. Afterwards, we see a video from earlier today showing Eric Young and Kurt Angle showing up together in a limo. I smell something fishy…..

-After Pyro, Main Event Mafia come down to the ring. Angle states last weeks title change involving the Legends Title is null and void. Kevin Nash will get a rematch for the Legends Title against the current champ, Mick Foley, at Hard Justice. Oh Joy. Angle goes on to say that MEM was forced to strike a deal. Out comes The World Elite. Everyone shakes hands with each other. Young says together as a unit, MEM and Elite will be revered as the greatest team of wrestlers ever assembled and will take over TNA. Well this could actually be good, because it could get The World Elite over as a major main event stable in TNA, and it cold get Young over as a main event player. We’ll see where this will go from here.

-In the back, Jeremy Borash wants to get an opinion from Mick Foley. Foley is MAD!!! Foley is going to give WAR to the Mafia and the Elite. Lashley and Sting come in and say they have Foley’s back. I’m almost certain not all three of them can take out 11 guys.

- Lauren is with Daniels, who has Young tonight. Daniels is pissed at Young for being a traitor and a big asshole. This is one of the worst promos I’ve heard from Daniels. The Guns interrupt and act surprised about the camera being there and real. MTV, Machine Gun TV. Funny stuff. Daniels lays into them and tells them to get noticed, and the way to do that is to go out with Daniels. Presumably to turn on him, right?

Match #1. Daniels (w/Motor City Machine Guns) vs. Eric Young (w/Kiyoshi and Sheik Bashir)

-MCMG are out there, but aren’t really paying attention to the match as they are reading game magazines. Probably trying to find cheat codes for that latest Batman game. This was a decent match. Young got the victory after a Piledriver onto Daniels. Mike Tenay was trying to act like the Piledriver is a move that other TNA wrestlers agreed not to use since it could possibly end a career. That does give Young more heat to the TV Viewers. After the match, Kiyoshi and Bashir take out Sabin and Shelley with sliding baseball dropkicks. Oh those evil foreigners.

Winner: Eric Young (via pin at 5:00) **1/4

-Lauren is with Team 3D and Beer Money who are teaming up tonight. Roode talks about how him and Young used to travel around on the indies together, and how they both begged for a job in TNA. Roode is PISSED! that Young turned his back on TNA.  Ray says he has more reason to be pissed because Young cost them the IWGP titles. Well not really, the match wasn’t sanctioned. Awesome promo by Roode though.

Match #2. The British Invasion (Rob Terry and Doug Williams w/Brutus Magnus) and Main Event Mafia (Booker T and Scott Steiner w/Sharmell) vs. Beer Money (James Storm and Robert Roode) and Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon)

-I’m a fan of eight man tags, so this was a match I’m looking forward to. God Terry looks like Steiner’s older, bigger and stronger brother. Well thanks to our wonderful pal Russo, midway through the match almost all the TNA roster spills out and brawls on the outside while the match is still happening. Not sure why the ref. didn’t call a DQ. Ending comes when Traci Brooks pushes Roode off the top rope and Terry hits him with a spinebuster for the win. There was some good action in the match, especially when Steiner wasn’t in the ring.

Winners: MEM and British Invasion (via pin at 7:00) **

-Everyone on the outside are still brawling even after the match is over. Sting and Foley are going at it with Nash and Angle, Eric Young, Kiyoshi and Bashir are going at it with the Machine Guns and Daniels, Lashley and Samoa Joe are going at it, everyone in the 8-man tag are still going at it, ITS FUCKING CRAZY OUT THERE! After a commercial, THERE STILL BRAWLING!!! Some guys are fighting in the ring, some are in the locker room, and most are fighting outside the Impact Zone. Everyone on the outside are using weapons like trashcans, chairs, tables, hell whatever they can grab. Security and other TNA staff members are trying to control it, but no luck. Finally, Police are here to stop this riot. I like that, only cause that seems more realistically that Police would have to break it up. This brawl was really well planned, and thought it added tons of more heat in all these feuds, even the mid-card feuds.

Match #3. Sarita and Taylor Wilde vs. Alissa Flash and Traci Brooks

-Always great to see Flash and Sarita lock it up in the ring. Might just be me, but Traci’s boobs look to be even bigger this week. This is one of those matches I got to see live, and the crowd definitely seemed into this match. Sarita and Flash really show great chemistry out in the ring, and I really hope they have more matches with each other in the near future. And of course they showed that great chemistry in this match, and even Traci looked good in her first real match in TNA in almost a year. Sarita and Taylor get the win after Sarita pins Flash again with a small package. Good match. After the match, both Flash and Brooks attack Wilde and Sarita. Flash nails Sarita with a Michinoku Driver, and Traci kisses Wilde on the forehead. Oh how sweet of her.

Winners: Sarita and Taylor Wilde (via pin at 5:05) **1/2

- Backstage, Lauren is with The Beautiful people, saying that there’s a four-corner match next week: Kong vs Love vs ODB vs Tara. Love also challenges ODB to a match at Hard Justice for the Knockouts Title.

-Kip James is cleaning up the mess made by the brawl in the back, as well he should be. Hernandez arrives at the Impact Zone wondering what the hell just happened.

-Lauren is with AJ. He says it’s like they’re in a crazy house. He’s never seen anything like this in his seven years. Nothing is going to take away his focuse though. He says he’s one win away from getting a spot in the main event at Hard Justice.

-Hard Justice card is run down:

IWGP Tag Team Titles: British Invasion(c) vs. Beer Money

TNA World Tag Team Titles: Booker T and Scott Steiner(c) vs. Team 3D

TNA X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. Homicide(c)

TNA Knockouts Title: Angelina Love(c) vs. ODB

TNA Legends Title: Mick Foley(c) vs. Kevin Nash (UGH)

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. AJ Styles or Matt Morgen

-Looks good so far. Tenay and West forgot to mention the X-Division Steel Asylum Match. Dammit TNA!

-Tenay has a sit-down interview with Hernandez. They talk about his injury, his background (his father was a Green Beret), Konnan’s flag-burning incident at the start of LAX (his family hated it) and his relationship with Homicide. Right now they’re on different roads and he will be the world heavyweight champion, te gusta o no (Like it or not).

-Homicide cuts a promo in the back, but I couldn’t really understand what the hell he meant. I believe he talked about Hernandez and his match with Joe at the PPV.

Match #4. Best of 3 Series, Match 2. Matt Morgen vs. AJ Styles

-Styles won their match last week, so he has the advantage 1-0. If Styles wins here, he’s in the main event. So it’s kinda obvious who’s winning here. This is another match I got to see live. Crowd seemed pretty into this match as well. The TNA fans love Styles. Not so much Morgen. Styles once again makes this match good and worth watching. But Morgen wins this match after he hits his finisher, the Hellevator. So Morgen ties up the series 1-1.

Winner: Matt Morgen (via pin at 5:15) **3/4

-We get a short vignette for “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero, debuting August 16 at Hard Justice. It’s either Elijah Burke, or Julio Dinero making his long awaited return to TNA.

-Jeremy Borash tries to get a word with Kurt Angle, but him and the Mafia are leaving the Impact Zone. After Angle leaves, Abyss comes up to JB wearing a hoodie. Abyss is going crazy over the bounty Dr. Stevie has put on him. Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal try attacking Abyss, but Abyss fights them off. The whole time, Lethal kept calling Abyss “Andre”. Kinda funny.

Match #5. Brutus Magnus (w/Rob Terry and Doug Williams) vs. Sting.

-This was a match I saw live, and the crowd were going CRAZY over Sting. They treat him like hes Hulk Hogan (well when Hogan wasn’t messed up). The referee immediately bans Williams and Terry from ringside. Sting had control early in this match, but it wasn’t a complete squash as Magnus got some decent amount of offensive. But that wasn’t enough as Sting won the match after making Magnus tap out to the Scorpion Deathlock. Ok match, but not enough time, mostly due to a commercial.

Winner: Sting (via submission at 3:20 shown) *1/2

-After the match, the rest of World Elite comes out and beats the shit out of Sting. Mick Foley and Bobby Lashley runs out and saves Sting. But wait, Main Event Mafia are still in the building and runs out and attacks Foley and Lashley. Oh Kurt, you fooled us all. Things look bad for the faces, but then Supermex is here to save the day. Hernandez comes out with a chain and runs Mafia and Elite out of the ring. All the faces are standing tall in the ring as Lashley stares down Angle. I thought this was a great way to make Hernandez look good, as its usually guys like Sting and Foley making the save for the younger guys, but this time it was the other way around.

Final Thoughts: I suggest you go out of your way to try to find the big riot brawl from tonight’s episode, cause it was awesome. Some may not like it, but I sure as hell did. I really think they should of booked this type of show for the 200th edition of Impact. I know Russo is mainly is charge now, but hell for once I think he’s doing a decent job. I’ll see you all next week for ECW.

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Welcome ladies and ladies to another edition of the TNA Impact Report. Tonight’s episode is special. Not only will you see me wearing my big Sting hat on Impact a few times, but tonights show is the 200th Edition of Impact! Thats right, 200th EDITION! Being there live, it was awesome, so I hope it translates well on TV. So without further of do, lets get started:

-We get an extra long opening video package for Impact. It highlights the past 4 years of Impact on Spike TV. It was pretty good and makes tonight’s Impact feel special.

-We open up tonight’s Impact with the Main Event Mafia coming down to the ring. Wonder how many editions of Impact had the same thing happen. Kurt Angle is pissed about what happened last week. Angle says no one crosses him or the main event mafia. He goes on to call out Lashley. Lashley comes out his a black baseball bat. So I guess Lashley and Sting are good buddies now. Lashley states he was gonna join MEM, but when he saw what they did and what they were all about, he changed his mind. Lashley has an offer Angle can’t refuse. This brings out Mick Foley. Foley publicly thanks Lashley for saving his ass last week. Oh, how nice of Mick. Mick goes on to say that Angle stated MEM could bring in ratings, so thats what he wants to do tonight. Foley offers a match idea to Angle. It will be Angle and Kevin Nash against Bobby Lashley and Foley. Stipulation is both the Legends title and TNA World title will be on the line. So whoever pins Nash becomes Legends champ, and whoever pins Kurt becomes World champ. Angle accepts the challenge. I gotta say, this segment was pretty good live, and I think it came off pretty well on TV.

Match #1. Samoa Joe (w/Taz) vs. “Supermex” Hernandez

-Hernandez not only had new music, but not he has new attire. This was another match I’ve always wanted to see happen in TNA, so glad I got to see this live as well. Even tough both are big guys, they can have a match with each other that actually turns out to be good. You don’t see that often in pro wrestling. I remember the crowd really digging this match, even tough it was kept short. Hernandez wins after a big splash from the top rope. Great opener. I’m really glad TNA is pushing someone new and who is under the age of 40. Believe it or not, this push actually continues later on.

Winner: Hernandez (via pin at 4:40) **3/4

-After the match, Jeremy Borash is out to interview Hernandez. Hernandez states he’ll be the first Latino TNA World Champion.

-During the break, Joe went nuts backstage. Taz tells him Hernandez didn’t beat Joe, Joe beat Joe. I think Burger King might of beat Joe as well.

-Lauren is with Matt Morgan, who says he scraped, crawled and scratched for his opportunities. He wants in the Mafia, and says he will beat AJ Styles in the best of 3 series for a main event spot.

-JB is now with AJ Styles backstage. Styles says he didn’t see Eric Young’s heel turn coming. Guess he hasn’t been watching Impact for the last month or so. Styles calls Morgen a bully, but he takes on bullies and states he’ll beat Morgen in the best of 3 series.

-After break, JB is with Lashley and Foley. Foley states Bobby and himself did a lot of thinking and he realised that somebody has to get one of the championships away from the Mafia, and they will start tonight. I agree with the statement, just not the part of Foley actually holding a title.

Match #2. Best of 3 Series (Match 1): AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgen

-This match was actually taped on the first night of Impact tapings. Whenever TNA does three tapings in a row, they tend to tape Impact matches out of order. They taped matches for the next two weeks of Impact on the second night of tapings, but I’ll get to that later. Crowd was pretty hot for this match live, as Styles is a big fan favorite in TNA. I believe this is the start of Morgen getting into the main event spotlight. I’m real interested to see how Morgen handles himself in that spotlight, as some wrestlers come into pressure when they are. This was a good match that got some good time. Styles wins the first match of the best of three series after a springboard 450 splash.

Winner: AJ Styles (via pin at 5:50) **3/4

-In the back, Lauren interviews the new main event mafia member, Traci Brooks. Lauren is disgusted in the fact she wanted to join MEM. Traci states TNA haven’t been using her for the past few months, and she says screw TNA. Traci is now property of MEM. Taylor Wilde comes in and she’s mad she join MEM as well. Traci says women like Taylor isn’t made for wrestling, it’s made for bitches like her. Ouch!

-We get a video of Don West interviewing Tara in the ring from earlier today. Tara says she came to TNA to face the best women wrestlers on the planet, like Awesome Kong. West wants to talk about The Beautiful People , but Tara talks about the favors Slick Johnson has been receiving so West quickly changes the subject. Tara says when she quit WWE, she wasn’t sitting home eating bonbons. West says there`s nothing wrong with a bonbon from time to time. West was awesome in this video.

Match #3, Tara, ODB (w/Cody Deaner), and Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. The Beautiful People (Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky and Angelina Love)

-Don West wants to see a replay of Velvet’s entrance. I concur with him. This was a decent match, tough I didn’t pay too much attention to it live. Only because about two minutes into the match, Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin came through the crowd and were right behind me with signs. Shelley’s sign said “Conspiracy Victims”, while Sabin’s said “We still work here”. Wonder where this storyline will go from here. Also weird because Shelley and Sabin were only seen and mentioned once during the entire match, but both were out there for pretty much the entire match. Funny moment, someone standing next to them told them they were the best tag team of the year, and then I yelled out that The Young Bucks were, and Shelley nodded in agreement. Anyways, Tara and Kong got into an argument and started to brawl midway through the match. Both ended up brawling toward the back, which left ODB all by herself in the ring. Ending came when Love was taunting Deaner, and Deaner got mad and got on the apron. Love kept taunting him and calling him and ODB names, so Deaner plants a big kiss on Love. Love is grossed out by this, which helps ODB long enough to roll her up for the three count.

Winners: ODB, Tara and Kong (via roll up at 6:30 shown) *3/4

-We get a video recap of The World Elite. Afterwards, The World Elite comes out for the tables match. Eric Young has something to say. Young states U.S.A. sucks, blah blah blah. This was kinda a long promo, bot saying it was bad, just way too long. Even the crowd started to chant “Shut the Hell up”. Team 3D comes out and tells The World Elite they can either love America, or just leave it. They rundown to the ring to begin the match

Match #4. Tables Match for the IWGP Tag Team Titles: Team 3D(c) vs. The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams)

-This was a fun match live. Both teams brawled in the crowd for the first few minutes of the match, and Ray and Williams were brawling towards my side during this by the way. The ending was kinda of stupid through. Devon powerbombs Magnus through a table, but the ref was down and didn’t see this. Young comes in and knocks Devon out with a belt, and drags Devon’s body onto the broken table, to make it look like Magnus put Devon through the table. The Ref wakes up and sees this, and awards the match victory to the British Invasion. Like I said, stupid ending to a decent match. It seems like TNA is trying to establish the World Elite as a major heel faction. I’m cool with that, but now that would mean there’s two major heel factions in TNA, and no clear cut face faction.

Winners: The British Invasion (via Russo booking at 6:00 shown) **

-In the back, Dr. Stevie is going crazy and offers $50,000 for Abyss’ head. Ok………..

-A training video of Jesse Neal and Rhino is aired, but midway through the video, they interrupt it as something is going on backstage. We see Booker T and Scott Steiner break into Foley’s office and beat the holy hell out of Foley and Lashley. Security comes in to break it up, but Angle sneaks in with a steel pipe and whacks it over the head of Lashley. One of the staff members yells out Lashley is out cold as we head to commercial

-After break, We see Beer Money brawling with Steiner and Booker in the back. Glad to least see Beer Money on the program tonight.

Match #5. TNA Legends and World Heavyweight Title Both on the Line: Kevin Nash (Legends champion) and Kurt Angle (World Champion) vs. Mick Foley and Bobby Lashley

-Now I didn’t get to see this match live, as this match was taped on the third night of Impact tapings. Nash and Angle make their way out first, but Foley and Lashley does not when their music is played. Nash and Angle are about to be declared the winners of the match, but Foley’s theme is played again and this time, he comes out alone. He takes out Angle and Nash on the outside. He challenges Kurt to come back into the ring, which Angle accepts as we officially begin the match

Nash and Angle had control for pretty much the entire match. As Angle has Foley in the ankle lock, the lights go out. When they come back on, Sting is in the crowd pointing to Angle with his bat. Light go out again, but when they come back on Lashley is in the ring and starts hitting Nash and Angle with lefts and rights. Lashley clotheslines Angle to the outside, and hits a massive spear into the gut of Nash. Nash is down, and Foley goes over and covers Nash for the three count and Foley is the new TNA Legends champion. Not too bad of a match, but for the 200th edition of Impact, I would of wished guys like Beer Money, Daniels and AJ Styles could of been involved in the main event.

Winners: Foley and Lashley (via pin at 6:30) *1/2

Overall thoughts: This was a good Impact. But for the 200th edition of Impact, they could of made it better. Like would it have killed TNA to added in a x-division match to this Impact. But yes, this event was still good on TV and live. By the way, I got to hug So Cal Val during this taping. As Miz and Morrison used to say, BE JEALOUS! See you all next week.

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Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another edition of the Impact Report here on Pro Wrestling Ponderings. I’m Zack Danielson, and as most of you know by now, I was on vacation last weekend in Orlando, FL. While I was there having fun at Universal Studios, I decided to check out some TNA events. More specifically, Victory Road and two Impact tapings the following Monday and Tuesday. All in all, I would say I had a great time at all of the TNA events. Now instead of just writing a live event report here, I decided I will still recap all of the Impacts within the next 4 weeks, but I will also give my live perspective of matches and segments I saw live. So let me get started with this week’s Impact:

TNA Impact: 7/23/09

-After the pyro goes of, Taz comes out to cut his first promo in TNA. He talks about how he called great matches in WWE, but then one day when he saw TNA on TV, he saw Samoa Joe. He goes on to say how he thought Joe was just like Taz during his ECW days, except that Joe showed remorse on his opponents, unlike Taz did. He knew he had to teach Joe that t’s not about doing what makes people happy or getting over with the boys, it is about what wins titles and making money. He became the teacher, Joe became the student. He says he and Joe are indebted to Kurt Angle and the prestigious MEM, and tonight, Joe will win the X-Division title. Live, the fans were treating Taz and Joe like faces. I think Taz could of done more to make both himself and Joe look more heelish.

Match #1. X-Division Title Match: Homicide(c) vs. Samoa Joe (w/Taz)

-I thought this was a good opening match for Impact. I’ve been waiting for these two to have a match again ever since Joe’s last match in ROH against Homicide in England. From my perspective, Homicide was definitely over with the crowd. Nobody in the crowd liked the ending, as Joe had Homicide locked in the chokehold, and as the ref signaled to ring the bell, some people in the crowd Joe had won the belt actually. But when announcer Dave Penzer announced that Homicide had won by DQ, some people in the crowd was pleased that Homicide didn’t lose the belt, but others didn’t like the finish. As Joe was beating down Homicide afterwards, SUPERMEX HERNANDEZ comes out and has a stands off with Joe. Joe looked like he wanted to fight, but Taz calls off Joe. The crowd was hot for this, as almost no one really saw Hernandez coming back so soon. It definitely looks like Hernandez is getting a big push, and that became further proven at the following Impact taping (You’ll see what I mean later on)

Winner: Homicide (via DQ at 5:00) **

-JB is with Mick Foley backstage in Foley’s office. Foley explains he’s still hurt from his match with Angle at Victory Road, and that Angle is now the golden boy of TNA. By the way, TNA didn’t show any of the backstage segments at any of the tapings I attended.

-The Main Event Mafia comes out for a promo. Angle’s mic wasn’t working to well live, so the crowd really couldn’t hear too much of his promo, but they stilled mostly booed him. Angle talks about how much TNA needs MEM. Tonight for the fans, Angle has a present for them all. Nash, Booker and Steiner are all going to put their titles on the line for their entertainment. Oh joy! Angle then goes on to call out Mick Foley. The promo went on for another few minutes, with Foley saying Styles, Beer Money, and himself dropped the ball last Sunday. Angle then went on to challenge Foley to a match later, where the winner would get the keys to Foley’s office and his position in TNA. Oh I almost forgot, the keys will be ON A POLE!!! I’m not gonna lie, I kinda marked on when I found out I was gonna be able to see a Russo Pole match live. Never thought I would have the opportunity to see one.

-Backstage, Brutus Magnus says that The British Invasion, Kiyoshi, and Bashir have reached an accord with Kurt Angle. The Invasion, Kiyoshi and Bashir will try to take out the TNA Originals tonight in a 10-man tag, in exchange, The British Invasion will get a IWGP Tag Team Title shot next week against Team 3D in a tables match. When the 10-man tag was announced live, most of the crowd was confused as to why the match was gonna take place, but the segment explained why.

Match #2. TNA Legends Title: Kevin Nash(c) (w/Jenna Morseca) vs. Amazing Red

-I guess the story of the night was that MEM are trying to look for easy opponents to defend their belts against. Red got some offense, but nothing to speak about, which is sad. Nash won in a squash match after he hit a Jackknife Powerbomb. Kinda funny moment, as the crowd was chanting “one more time”, Nash picks up Red teasing he’s gonna hit the powerbomb one more time, but Nash tosses Red down to cover him to the displeasure of the fans.

Winner: Kevin Nash (via pin at 2:02) 1/2*

-Backstage, Lauren tries to interview Hernandez. Midway through, Homicide comes in and seems pissed that Hernandez saved him and he thinks he could of handled it. I’m fine with LAX splitting up, butFOR THE LOVE OF GOD I don’t wanna see those two feud off.

-Backstage, Foley explains to JB that he will NOT put up his Tweak & Tweet Connection on the line in his match tonight. That is a great picture. Big Rocco and Sally Boy, a.k.a. the worst backup since Bam Neely, comes in and say they have Foley’s back tonight. Foley is still mad that they still have their MEM shirts on. Foley gives then black tape to cover the MEM symbol up. Booker T and Scott Steiner are watching this backstage and say they found their opponents tonight. Oh god.

-Lauren is backstage with the returning Traci Brooks. There will be a knockouts battle royal later on with the winner getting $50000 and a spot in Main Event Mafia. Traci explains she is back as the Knockout Law and will be the special referee in the battle royal. I’m for one glad to see Traci back in TNA.

Match #3. TNA World Tag Team Title Match: Scott Steiner and Booker T(c) (w/Sharmell) vs. Big Rocco and Sally Boy

-I, along with almost everyone else in the crowd that night, was heavily disappointed when they announced the useless security were gonna be Steiner and Bookers’ opponents. I thought this was gonna be as bad as the Jenna/Sharmell match at Victory Road, but to the surprise of everyone, this was actually a fun match. Best moment of the match was when Rocco did a BIG SPLASH from the top rope onto Steiner, and the crowd absolutely loved it. Some of them actually thought that the security team was gonna win, but of course they didn’t. When Rocco went for the pin, Sharmell pulled the ref out, and Booker hit the Book End on Rocco, followed by a Flatliner by Steiner for the pin. This match was actually fun, thanks mostly to the crowd.

Winners: Steiner and Booker (via pin at 4:58) *1/2

-Back in Foley’s office, Eric Young comes in and says he wants to be on the TNA Originals’ team in the 10-man tag later on. Young admits that he’s been a douche bag lately, but wants to do this for TNA. Foley lets him in the match.

-Tara is backstage and says she wants to win the battle royal for the money, so she can donate it to charity. Ohhhhh how sweet. She also states She will keep an eye on Slick Johnson during the match, as he’s one of the outside refs in the match.

Match #4. Knockouts Battle Royal (Winner gets $50000 and a spot in MEM)

-Participants in the match are Tara, Awesome Kong, all 3 members of The Beautiful People, Sarita, ODB, Sojo Bolt, Daffney, Taylor Wilde and Alissa Flash. Man I was glad that Rhaka Khan was not in this match. Crowd was hot for pretty much the whole man. A few people around me thought that Angelina Love was gonna win the match. I personally thought Flash could of win, as her nickname is the future legend, so why not put her in a stable full of legends. Midway through the match, Nash came out with the $50000 check and joined Tenay and West on commentary. Yes, the return of Chet Lemon. Ending came when the final two women were Kong and Tara. Tara and Kong were hanging by the ropes, but then Traci Brooks snuck up and tossed both women out to win the match. Nash yells on commentary “Home of the D-Cups wins”. Pretty funny. Nash comes in to announced that Brooks had won the match, and Traci jumps into his arms to celebrate. Tara and Kong were still brawling at ringside. Tara comes back in and is pissed, but instead takes out her frustrations out on Slick Johnson with a lowblow. This was a fun battle royal.

Winner: Traci Brooks (at 5:15 shown) **

-After break, they air this stupid backstage segment where The Beautiful People are mad they lost the battle royal. Cody Deaner comes in all piseed cause of all their bad talk about ODB. Velvet and Angelina pretend to hit on Deaner, and then Velvet low blows Deaner and they start to bear up Deaner until ODB runs them off. So I guess TNA is trying to make Deaner their version on Santino, but it’s not working for me.

-It’s announced the main event of Hard Justice will be Kurt Angle defending the World Title in a 3-way, against Sting and the winner of a best of 3 series between Matt Morgen and AJ Styles. This could be interesting.

- -Lauren is with AJ and the originals. He says it has been 7-years, and they dropped the ball at Victory Road. But tonight, they are on the same page, and tonight, they take back TNA.

Match #5. TNA Originals (Beer Money, Daniels, Eric Young and AJ Styles) vs. The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus, Rob Terry, and Doug Williams), Sheik Abdul Bashir and Kiyoshi

I wasn’t expecting to see this kinda of match live, so when they announced this match to the audience that night, I was pretty excited about it. I was also intrigued as this is Rob Terry’s debut match in TNA. I personally thought he was impressive, but I really wanna see how he handles himself in a singles match down the line. This was probably my favorite match of the first tapings, but with an extra 2-3 minutes, this could of been awesome. Ending came when Eric Young turned his back on his team and did a sick piledriver on Styles, and Magnus rolls over and gets the pin. I would say everyone in the crowd that night saw the swerve coming. So I guess Young joins the evil foreigners as he’s Canadian.

Winners: The Evil Foreigners (via pin at 5:10) **1/2

-In the back, Mick Foley looks mad at Young’s actions.

-EY and the evil foreigners celebrate and then says that the TNA fans and wrestlers are all gullible. EY says he is Elite, they are the World Elite, and everything in TNA will change forever. Foley comes in and had to be held back by security as he wants to beat Young’s ass.

Match #6. Foley’s Office Keys on a Pole Match: Mick Foley vs. Kurt Angle

-When they announced this as the main event, I didn’t quite know how I felt. I mean, I never thought I would have the chance to see a Vince Russo Pole match live. So I guess in 20 years, I can tell my kids that I was one of the elite fans who had a chance to see a Vince Russo Pole Match live and in person. Match itself, wasn’t as bad as it could of been. I mean, least it was kept short. Ending comes when Foley looks like he’s about to grab the keys, but all the MEM members comes out and start beating the hell out of him and the ref calls a no contest. It’s a Vince Russo special, as we also needed a run-in for a pole match.

Winner: No Contest (via run-ins at 5:00 shown) *1/2

-Afterwards, Angle grabs the mic and says this tonight and Victory Road wasn’t enough for Foley. Angle looks like he’s gonna end Foley, but wait…..

MUSIC HITS AND BOBBY F”N LASHLEY COMES OUT TO A HUGE OVATION (Trust me, It was a damn loud ovation live as well)

Lashley comes in the ring and hugs Angle. Looks like MEM has a new member…or does it? As Lashley looks like he’s about to strike Foley, he turns around and strikes Angle! Lashley runs wild and takes out each member of Main Event Mafia. Lashley and Foley stand tall in the ring as this week’s Impact ends. This was a damn fine ending live, and the crowd was very hot for Lashley’s return. I even found myself going nuts for this segment.

Winners: In my opinion, this was a great event live. I also thought this came out pretty strong on TV. From Hernandez and Lashley returning, to the 10-man tag, to the knockouts battle royal, this was a great Impact. Can’t wait to see how the next 3 weeks of Impact turn out on TV.

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Ok folks, so last week I forgot to do my Impact report. I know, I’m stupid and lazy. Reason being is I’ve been packing and getting ready for my Orlando trip for the past week or so. So I sincerely apologize if i disappointed anyone. Anyways, I’m gonna quickly recap last week’s Impact, and then get to this week’s show. So lets get to it:

TNA Impact (7/9/09)

Matches:

1.Homicide beat Doug Williams in a ladder match for the X-Division Feast or Fired Briefcase 1/2*

2. Non-Title: Beer Money (c) defeated Motor City Machine Guns **

3. Tara defeated Velvet Sky *1/2

4. Tara defeated Angelina Love to become the new Knockouts Champion*3/4

5. AJ Styles and Daniels defeated Matt Morgen and Kevin Nash

6. Non-Title: Kurt Angle(c) defeated Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett when special guest ref. Eric Young rang for the bell when Foley was in Angle’s ankle lock (ala Montreal Screwjob)

Overall thoughts: It was a good show. They heavily cut back on the backstage shit in this episode. So if you find this episode on the Impact, I suggest going out of the way and watching it

-Now onto this week’s Impact:

TNA Impact (7/16/09)

-We start with an opening promo with Mick Foley. Foley states he feels naked without the TNA World Title. Foley called Kurt Angle out to the ring. Foley basically asks Angle to not have any MEM members run in the main event between the two this Sunday at the PPV, as Foley truely wants to find out who’s the better man. Angle then goes on to try to persuade Foley into thinking that the Main Event Mafia is here to help out guys like Jarrett and Foley. Sting comes to the ring and calls Angle a liar. Sting goes on to ask Foley for a match with Angle tonight. Before Foley can answer, Angle accepts the match and states that the match will be a six sides of steel cage match. It was a good opening promo.

-While West and Tenay were running down the Impact card for tonight, the camera goes backstage as we see Samoa Joe beat the hell out of Amazing Red. West makes a joke saying maybe Red started the fight by talking shit. I love heel West!

Match #1. Samoa Joe vs. Amazing Red

-After break, We come back to see Joe still kicking Red’s on the entrance ramp. Joe clothesline’s the bologna out of Amazing Red on the floor. Joe takes the shirt off of Red and rolls him in the ring. The bell sounds. There we go. Samoa Joe stomps away at Red in the corner. Samoa Joe shoves Rudy Charles down and Charles disqualifies Joe. Joe hits a Muscle Buster after the match on Red. He gets on Red and pounds away as security comes to the ring. It’s three-on-one in the ring, but instead Samoa Joe leaves the ring without fighting them. Wsn’t really match, just pretty much a segment to make Joe look badass.

Winner: No Contest

- Lauren is backstage with the newest TNA Knockout Sarita (a.k.a. Sarah Stock). She states she’s been waiting along time to wrestle in TNA. She then ends the promo by speaking Spanish to her Spanish friends. I’m pretty excited for her debut actually.

-After break, they show a video from earlier today with Don West interviewing Jenna Morasca, Sharmell, Sojo Bolt, Raisha Saeed and Awesome Kong. I’m not gonna talk about this, cause this segment, as well as the whole feud, is a big pile of shit. So yeah moving on….

- Jeremy Borash is backstage to get Kurt Angle’s reaction about the Six Sides of Steel Match made for tonight. Angle tells Borash that he just wants to prove to Sting and the world that he is the real icon and will handle his business. Angle says Foley is right about everything he said with the future being decided at Victory Road. Angle says that next week Foley will be calling him boss.

Match #2. Non-Title: Suicide (X-division champion) vs. Chris Sabin (w/Alex Shelley)

-This match was pretty good. They got a decent amount of time in this match, close to five minutes long. Don West was also great during the match. Like during the match, Shelley interfered by kicking Suicide in the head, and West was like “I think I herd Suicide talk smack to Shelley”. Just to think, West used to be the worst commentator in history. Suicide wins after hitting the Suicide Solution.

Winner: Suicide (via pin) **

-Afterwards, Shelley and Sabin beat down Suicide, including knocking him out with a steel chair. Homicide runs out with the feast or fired briefcase to run of MCMG. Suddenly, he realizes he can cash in the briefcase for the X-Division title shot. The crowd even chants “Cash It In.” So what does Homicide do? He cashes it in!

Match #3. TNA X-Division Title Match: Homicide vs. Suicide(c)

-The dream match we’ve all been waiting for! Homicide rolls Suicide over and covers. Two count! Suicide uppercuts Homicide. That sounds weird. Gringo Killer connects on Suicide! He covers and we have a new TNA X-Division Champion! Homicide has done it! This isn’t as big as his ROH World Title win, but hey it’s still a big win in his career.

Winner: Homicide (via pin)

-After commercial, Lauren is backstage with the new TNA X-Division Champion Homicide. She asks about the questionable decision. Homicide says he didn’t make up the rules, since he could cash it in at anytime. This reminds me so much of CM Punk’s recent cashing in. He grabs Lauren to go party.

-The Beautiful People are out for a promo. Angelina Love is in some sort of bee keeper suit, to prevent from Tara’s spider to getting to he I guess. Thank god Velvet isn’t wearing one, or else we would have not got to see he awesome entrance. Anyways, Angelina states Tara’s title win last week wasn’t official. So they will battle in a rematch for the Knockouts Title this Sunday at Victory Road. Tara comes out, and plays some mind games with Love by saying her pet spider, Poison, is in Love’s suit. Love freaks out, and Velvet and Madison leave the ring. Tara comes running in and hits the Widow’s Peak on Love to end the segment. This segment made me a little interested in the match this Sunday.

Match #4. Alissa Flash vs. Sarita

-Before the match begins, Flash comes out and tells the announcer Dave Penzar to call her “The Future Legend” Nice nickname. To simply put, this was the best knockouts match in a LONG time. I mean, they only got about six minutes, but these two ladies made the best out of it. Sarita showed a lot of impressive moves out there, and the same goes for Flash. Sarita wins after a victory roll. After the match, Flash attacks Sarita by hitting a sick Michinoku Driver into the canvas. It was a great debut for both ladies.

Winner: Sarita (via pin) ***

- Don West goes over the TNA Live schedule. If they are near your town, go to their shows. TNA on TV is one thing, but TNA live is a whole different thing, and that’s a very good thing.

-Lauren is backstage to interview the TNA Legends Champion, AJ Styles. Styles states he will take out the Main Event Mafia tonight piece by piece in the six man tag. Styles also says TNA is better off without Kevin Nash. Well……..DUH!

Match #5. Six-Man Elimination Tag Match: Main Event Mafia (Kevin Nash, Booker T and Scott Steiner w/Sharmell  and Jenna Morasca) vs. AJ Styles and Beer Money (James Storm and Robert Roode)

-The good news is, Robert Roode looked pretty strong in this match. Bad news is Styles looked far too weak in this match. Styles was the first eliminated in the match via Jackknife Powerbomb courtesy of Nash. Now is Styles manages to beat Nash this Sunday clean, then that would make up for it. But I have a feeling that won’t happen, so for now, I call this decision Bullshit. Next elimination came  when James Storm got eliminated by Steiner after he hits the Flatliner. Now you would think Roode would be eliminated right away after that, but think again. Roode actually hung in the match for another 5-6 minutes, including eliminating Nash after a lowblow. Unfortunately, Roode was the last one to be eliminated after Booker hit an axe kick on Roode while he was held up by Steiner. It was a good match, just the right people did not win the match. But as long as Styles and Beer Money win the Sunday, well that would make up for the loss tonight. Oh and Jenna and Sharmell fought after the match. Like anyone gives a rat ass.

Winner: Main Event Mafia (Steiner and Booker soul survivors)**3/4

-Backstage, JB interviews Team 3D. It’s announced that 3D will face The British Invasion this Sunday at Victory Road. Brother Ray says that after twenty-two tag team titles that they should have earned some respect. They blame their title loss to the British Invasion for screwing them at Slammiversary and at the #1 Contenders Match two weeks ago. They have revenge on their minds on Sunday. The British Invasion comes into the backstage area. Magnus says that the IWGP Tag Team Championship will be on the line at Victory Road. They brawl. Wahoo!

-After break, Lauren interviews Abyss. Abyss pretty much hurts himself with thumbtacks and says he will give Dr. Stevie his own therapy session this Sunday. I really don’t care about this feud.

-Jeff Jarrett comes to the announce booth for the main event.

Match #6. Non-Title Six Sides of Steel Cage Match: Kurt Angle (TNA World Heavyweight Champion) vs. Sting

-This match was pretty decent until the end. Sting had control for most of the match. Samoa Joe comes out at the end of the match, takes out Jeff Jarrett, and the outside referee who’s holding the key to the steel cage. Joe takes the key, and goes in the cage and locks the cage door. Sting turns around and sees this and nails Joe with a few lefts and rights. As Sting locks in the Scorpion Deathlock on Joe, lights go out and a video shows up on screen that says “FTW” and “Survive If I Let You”. Wonder who that could be? A knifestick appears in the middle of the ring, which Angle and Joe use repeatedly on Sting. Jarrett and Foley try to climb the cage, but no luck. Impact ends with Angle and Joe standing tall. Trust me on this when I say the ending to the cage match was a big clusterfuck. I mean come on TNA, you could of edit the ending a little bit better. Just stupid really.

Winner: No Contest *3/4

Overall Thoughts: Well the ending was pretty damn bad, but pretty much everything else on the show was worth watching. It was a decent go-home show for Victory Road, which I am looking forward to. Partially cause I’ll be there. Anyways, I will be back next Thursday for another Impact report, but won’t be here Tuesday, so Chris GST will cover ECW next week. So I’ll see you all next week. Orlando, Florida, HERE I COME!

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For most of the last week, my DVD player has been infested with TNA DVDs. This week, I will discuss my thoughts on Christian Cage’s DVD, The Best of the X-Division Volume 2, and TNA Wrestling: The 50 Greatest Moments. I’ll be back tomorrow with thoughts on four weeks of Impact and a brief preview of the Pay-Per-View that airs Sunday. Then Monday evening, I’ll post my review of “Victory Road.” Next week Thursday, I’ll finish off my month of TNA watching with thoughts on Kurt Angle’s DVD, TNA Impact in Japan, and my final assessment of the number two promotion in the United States.

For now, let’s examine our first DVD.

TNA: Best of Christian Cage- Nothing like having a DVD out there of a guy who no longer wrestles for TNA, but also wrestles for WWE. Guess that’s bad luck but it’s still very odd to hear Christian talk about his reasons for going to TNA and then understand that he’s now back in WWE at the same spot (if not even lower) then he was in 2005. In all seriousness, the interview with him was excellent and I thought this was the highlight of the DVD. Christian comes off as being very sincere, and it doesn’t feel like he’s blowing smoke up people’s butts when he talks. This guy appears to have his head on straight no matter where he goes. And the fact that he CHOSE to go to TNA when he did was very gutsy.

In watching the matches on the DVD, you can see why Christian eventually decided to go back to WWE. Every match is seemingly jam-packed with typical TNA stupidity. There’s ref bumps. There’s a million run-ins. It gets to the point where the crowd doesn’t even pop for two counts or remotely care about the match because neither one of those two things has happened yet. Christian vs. Jeff Jarrett from “Against All Odds 2006″  illustrates my point perfectly.

This should have been a huge momentous moment. Jeff Jarrett was finally going to lose the TNA championship to a hot babyface. Christian, and make no mistake about it, was the biggest star he’s ever been up to this point. A clean win would have propelled TNA a little bit and put them on the map. Sadly, we got none of that. We had Earl Hebner around to rehash Montreal in 1997 once again. We had run-ins. We had Gail Kim interfereing. Of course, a guitar shot was thrown in for good measure. Yes, Christian won but it really didn’tr mean what it should have because someone in TNA doesn’t think having wrestlers wrestle one-on-one draws. Funny how UFC is drawing with something similar to that concept.

Overall, the Christian DVD is a minor thumbs down. The wrestling is good, and the interview is solid. Sadly, there are a parade of dumb endings that only frustrated me.

Now I didn’t purchase these next two DVDs as part of the big sale on the website. I bought them from FYE for dirt cheap. Since they were TNA related, I figured I might as well review them.

TNA Wrestling: The 50 Greatest Moments- If you had never watched TNA before and wanted to immediately get an indication of this company’s history, this is a great DVD for you. I guess in that sense, this is one of the better DVDs I’ve seen they’veput out. No joke. I actually sat back and just enjoyed what I was watching. Yes, there was of course some stupidity but I’ve come to expect that from TNA. I got to re-live a lot of the great matches, from the first five years and got to re-watch my favorite skit ever.

The “Team 3-D funeral” is so awesome. It’s one of the few cases where having writers helps put something together. No doubt much of what was done was scripted. However, it made sense in context because the performers played their roles to perfection. Even the little touches like Team Canada bringing hockey sticks and James Storm sneaking beer into the proceedings fit this segment so well. I’ve watched this 10 to 15 times and think it’s so awesome. And any DVD that puts over the Chicago White Sox gets some love from me. Thumbs up.

TNA: Best of the X Division Volume 2- The only real issue I have with this DVD is it’s so superfluous. The matches are seemingly picked at random, and there really isn’t any rhyme or reason given to them. I would have appreciated some additional video packages and interviews to help set these up. This DVD also illustrates some of the damage the Joe/Daniels/Styles feud did to the entire division. It created a glass ceiling and a hierarchy that was hard to overcome by the summer of 2006 when none of the three were competing in the X Division anymore.

What should have been the best part of the DVD also turned into a major failure. They spent the first 30 minutes talking about and to Samoa Joe, A.J. Styles, and Christopher Daniels. The problem wasn’t even with the highlights because I don’t think these three are capable of having a bad match. Between the various combinations, I would probably give all of their TNA matches at least 4 stars. The problem was the interviews with all three guys. They came off scripted, cartoonish, and not at all sincere. I’ve seen these guys talk in a lot of formats. This was probably the geekiest and dumbest they’ve ever looked.

I give this show a thumbs in the middle because there’s a ton of great action, but there’s no context and the interviews shown come off very cheesy in my view.

Tomorrow is indeed my look at a month’s worth of Impact. There have been a few good matches, but there were a number of very cringeworthy moments and I’ll tell you why this show hasn’t even come close to making me actually about the current product. There is one major aspect of the program I’m looking forward to tonight. If you want to know what it is, you’ll just have to watch the show tonight.

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Welcome ladies and germs to another edition of the Impact Report. I’m Zack Danielson, who by the way had no relation to the great Bryan Danielson. Without further of do, lets get started.

TNA IMPACT (7/2/09)

-Tonight’s Impact starts with the Main Event Mafia making their way to the ring lead by current TNA World Champion , Kurt “Randy Couture’s older brother” Angle. Angle says that Sting is at home licking his wounds at that the attack wasn’t personal, but was strictly business. Angle tells Mick Foley that it’s been a week and to come out and face “the boss” like a man. Foley’s music hits and he comes to the ring with his security. Steiner is holding a lead pipe standing next to Angle. Angle says that Foley committed a sin by telling Team 3D they would face Beer Money at Victory Road for the Tag Titles, as it was originally going to be Scott Steiner and Booker T facing Beer Money at Victory Road. Foley asks to be left alone because he’s had a bad week. Foley asks his security, Rocco and Sally Boy, to take care of the Mafia, but they are quickly taken out by Steiner thanks to his lead pipe. Foley says he has the worst security in the world. Can they really be worse than Bam Neely? Foley turns his back to the Main Event Mafia saying out of respect he wants them to leave enough of him to recover for Victory Road. Angle tells Foley to pick a “door” each involving a Mafia member destroying Foley. Foley chooses Door #1 which was Kurt Angle and he slugs him in the face. The Mafia beatdown on Foley begins with them stomping him down. The bell is sounding. Was this a match? Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring guitar in hand. The MEM all leave the ring before Jeff can do any harm. But wait, Jarrett clocks Foley over the head with the guitar then heads up the ramp! Angle pats Jarrett on the chest as he walks up the ramp, but Jarrett stops and stares him down at the Main Event Mafia. We head to break.

-After commercial, we get a recap of what just went down. Foley is backstage and is refusing medical help.

-Jeremy Borash is backstage with Jeff Jarrett in his locker room. Foley is still trying to get Jarrett, but security is there to throw him out. Jarrett is yelling “This isn’t going to work out Mick”.

-We now go to a taped interview from earlier today with Mike Tenay and Kevin Nash. Nash just talks about jumping to WCW with Hall, and how money is important in the wrestling business. Blah Blah Blah. This was useless.

-Abyss is now backstage with Lauren kicking garbage cans looking for Dr. Stevie. He looks angered. He picks Lauren up and puts her on a table and says he’ll never harm her. He says he never asked her to stop being a woman, so why does she ask him to stop being a monster? Whoa. That’s a line from Rocky II. Minus, the monster part.

-Match #1. Amazing Red vs. Cody Deaner (w/ ODB)

-Finally, a match. This is Deaner’s first match since his “training” with ODB. Red kicks Deaner in the shins multiple times and the knee. Red works on the arm and Deaner yells to ODB asking her what to do. Great. Red armdrags Deaner over twice and hits a headscissors. Deaner rolls to the floor. Red flies over the top rope with a twisting dive. Red actually landed on his feet, too. Red rolls him up for two. Red gets caught running off the ropes by a clothesline. Deaner covers and gets a two count. This is embarrassing. Right hand to the guy of Red. A punch to the face follows. Scoop slam by Deaner is next with a fist dropped to the face for a two count. Wow, Deaner is on the offensive for more than one minute. Red reverses an Irish Whip and dropkicks him in the corner and hits a spinkick for two! Red goes to the top ropes, but Deaner shoves him off. Deaner goes to the top ropes with ODB yelling at him to get off. Deaner puts his hat on backwards and misses a diving headbutt. Red hits the Red Eye for the victory. Short, fun match. That’s what I like in a opener.

Winner: Amazing Red (via pin in 4:30) *3/4

-A “cross the line” video package airs of Booker T. At the end, he says “I will become”. Become what, a better wrestler?

-Abyss is destroying the set backstage. TNA security comes up with weapons threatening to beat him down. Abyss and one of the older security guys have a stare down as we go to commercial.

-We’re back and JB is with Jeff Jarrett in his locker room. The Main Event Mafia walks in clapping their hands. They tell Jeff Jarrett to take a seat because they want to have a chat. Angle says that they can put their differences aside, and Angle has a peace offering for Jarrett. Angle wants Jarrett to join MEM. Angle ask Jarrett if he accepts. Jarrett tells Angle to screw his offer. He mentions that he was the one that brought Angle into TNA in the first place. Jarrett yells at Angle that him that Kurt used TNA’s wrestlers and abused his power. Jarrett tells Angle that Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle will be teaming up tonight against Jeff Jarrett and AJ Styles with the TNA World Heavyweight Championship on the line! Whoever pins Angle, wins the title. If Angle or Joe beat Jarrett or Styles, then Angle retains. The match will be good, but GOD i hate tag matches for a singles title.

- Lauren is with Jenna backstage asking Jenna about Sharmell. Jenna says that she is going to fight Sharmell. Sojo Bolt walks in and says she will make sure that Sharmell is ready for her match at Victory Road. Jesus Christ, as if this angle wasn’t bad enough, but they got to add Sojo Bolt in it. Dammit!

-In the back, Booker T asks Sharmell to get Matt Morgen. Kurt Angle has to talk with Morgen about something. Can we please get to our next match?

-Finally!

Match #2. Rhino (w/Jesse “Bad Hair Cut” Neal) vs. Eric Young

-Story is Young walked out as Rhino’s partner at Slammiversary during as a tag match, so now Rhino is pissed. Rhino starts the match with a clothesline for a quick two count. Young gets back the advantage with a clothesline of his own. Young gets a two count. Young now throws punches and then chokes Rhino in the corner, followed by a snapmare over into a chokehold. Rhino gets out, but Young pulls his hair and slams him down. He covers for a two count again. Young straddles Rhino’s throat over the middle rope and chokes him. Young slaps Neal in the face then goes to the floor and tosses him into the guardrail! Young goes back in the ring to continue beating down Rhino. Rhino fights back to his feet throwing right hands of his own. Rhino nails a couple of clotheslines and a shoulder tackle in the corner. Rhino catches Eric Young and gets a spine buster. Neal is on the apron arguing with the referee as Rhino is covering Young. Rhino gets knocked into Neal and Young rolls Rhino up, grabbing the ropes for the three count. Ok match, and Young works great as a heel

Winner: Eric Young (via roll up at 3:30) *1/4

- Lauren is backstage with Sharmell, again. Sharmell finds Matt Morgen, who’s on a cell phone. Morgan makes Sharmell repeat herself. Morgan picks Sharmell up and spins her around after she informs him that Angle wants to see him. Another commercial break follows.

-After break, JB is backstage with Angle and Morgen. Morgan asks how much money he’s going to make when he joins the Mafia. Angle says that the Mafia is taking Matt Morgan into consideration. Angle wants to make sure his bases are covered. Angle wants Morgan to make sure that Daniels doesn’t make it anywhere near the ring. Morgan says fine, but his patience is running short. Oh….tension.

-We get a promo video for the newest Knockout, Sarita (a.k.a. Sarah Stock). Man the Knockouts Division in TNA just got a lot better

Match #3. Tara and Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. The Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Velvet Sky w/ Madison Rayne)

-Ah we get the dream team of Tara and Kong finally. This should be fun. Tara comes to the ring with a tarantula. Tara begins attacking Velvet Sky. Armdrags and submissions entertain me. Tara tags in Kong and Kong throws Sky into the corner asking for Love to be tagged in. Love tags in and her and Kong exchange punches. Kong gets the better of her. Kong throws Love into the corner and throws many, many punches. Sky and Love double team Tara who tagged in a couple seconds ago. I was unloading groceries. Tara and Love are both down in the center of the ring Kong gets tagged in and Sky tries punching her, but gets shoved off. Kong throws her into the corner again. Kong punches Love and she goes to the floor. Love attacks Kong from behind. All four are in the ring now. Tara throws Love out of the ring and into the ringpost. Implant Buster by Kong onto Sky follows to finish the match and get her team the victory. Nice, fun match

Winners: Kong and Tara (via pin at 4:00) **

-Afterwards, Tara takes out her tarantula and puts it Velvet’s chest. Kong has a priceless face in this segment.

- Lauren is backstage with TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love. Love freaks out about the spider. When asked about Velvet Sky, Love says it could’ve been “me” that had the spider put on her. She then runs away screaming.

Match #4. Winner faces Beer Money at Victory Road: Scott Steiner and Booker T (w/Sharmell) vs. Team 3D (Brother Ray and Devon)

-Two former multiple time WCW Champions are set to face one of the greatest tag teams in wrestling history. This should be interesting. Many tag matches tonight as well. Robert Roode asks Don West what kind of chapstick he uses to kiss his butt. Amazing. The bell sounds and Brother Ray starts in with Scott Steiner. They lockup and Steiner throws Ray into the corner and kicks away at the giant midsection. Chop by Steiner and Ray reverses an Irish Whip and throws punches of his own. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex by Scott Steiner follows with punches. Brother Ray blocks a punch and scoop slams him for two. Steiner misses an elbow and gets a bodydrop for a two count. Brother Ray tags in Brother Devon. Devon punches Steiner. Booker T catches Devon in the back with a knee as he’s running off the ropes. Steiner tags in Booker. Booker with punches to the stomach of Devon. Devon catches a boot to the face from Booker. Steiner tags in and stomps at Devon who is being held by Booker t. Steiner’s belly-to-belly overhead suplex gets a two count. Steiner tags in Booker who kicks Devon in the mid-section. Roundhouse to the face of Devon. Devon and Booker catch each other with clotheslines in the middle of the ring and they are both down. The crowd is REALLY HOT for this one. Devon hot tags in Brother Ray. Ray clotheslines Booker. Hip toss next. Buh-Buh Bomb by Brother Ray to Steiner. Booker T. catches Brother Ray with a Bookend for a two count! Man this match is fast. Sheik Abdul Bashir and Kiyoshi come out and they brawl with Beer Money. Team 3D hits the 3D on Booker T. Sharmell distracts the ref and Steiner is in and he get’s the “What’s Up?!” Brother Ray tells Brother Devon to get the tables. Rob Terry and Doug Williams comes out and take out Devon. Brutus Magnus catches Brother Ray with the Feast or Fired briefcase and pulls Booker T on Ray for the three count! Good match, but a lot of interference at the end.

Winners: Main Event Mafia (via pin at 7:15) **1/2

-After break, Jertho Holiday is in the ring ready for his match with Jay Lethal. Lethal doesn’t come out when his music is played. We go to the back seeing Abyss destroying Lethal Consequences. Abyss now comes out and takes out Holiday quickly with a Black Hole Slam. Abyss wants Dr. Stevie to come out. He grabs the camera and wants the whole world to hear what he has to say. Abyss says he doesn’t need Dr. Stevie anymore. No more therapy. No more calling in daily. No more shock treatment! Crowd cheers. Abyss tells Stevie that he will lift him up and snap Stevie across his shoulders like a twig. Dr. Stevie appears on the screen. Stevie has Lauren, who is crying, in his arms. Stevie says he’s not the monster that Abyss is. Stevie says he’s treated Abyss for ten years. He calls Lauren a piece of meat and says he owns Abyss. Dr. Stevie says that next week Abyss will come to his office for therapy and if he doesn’t he won’t be nice to Lauren. Abyss has his hands over his head in the ring. Abyss charges up the ramp. Decent segment. We go to another commercial.

-After Break, it’s now time for our Main Event!!!

Match #5. TNA World Heavyweight Title Match: Kurt Angle(c) and Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett

-Before the match begins, we get the special introductions by JB. Jarrett and Angle start the match. Lockup with the crowd clapping. Jarrett attempts the Stroke, but it misses. Ankle Lock by Angle is reversed and they have a stand-off. Angle boots Jarrett in the gut and also hits a uppercut. Jarrett hip tosses Angle, followed by some clotheslines to Angle. Jarrett tags in AJ Styles. Styles works over the left arm. Angle gets out of the arm ringer and tags in Joe. AJ bops Joe. Joe nails AJ with a legsweep to the mat. Joe clubs away. Styles runs off the ropes and hits a dropkick. Angle comes in and gets punches in the face by Styles and Jarrett. We go to commercial with Jarrett and Styles double teaming Joe.

- Back with Samoa Joe in control of Styles targeting the leg. Joe tags in Angle. During the commercial, Joe caught Styles and slammed him. Angle hit an belly-to-belly release suplex. Back to the match. Styles catches Angle with a boot to the back of the head on Angle. Both men are down. Joe runs in and knocks Jarrett off the apron. Angle tags in Joe. Joe chops Styles. Headbutt by Joe to Styles’ head. Elbow by Styles. Springboard moonsault into an inverted DDT and regular DDT to Joe and Angle! Joe cuts Styles off and slaps on the rear naked choke. AJ rolls out and hits the Pele! Both men are down again! AJ tags in Jarrett. Joe tags in Angle. Jarrett hits Angle with a flurry. Double arm DDT (Pedigree) by Jarrett onto Angle. Joe breaks up a two count. Jarrett reverses an Angle Slam and gets a two count with Joe breaking it up again. Jarrett puts Angle on the top rope. Joe grabs Jarrett for the Muscle Buster, but Jarrett rolls over and Styles hits a flying forearm on the ref after Joe ducked! Jarrett hits the Stroke on Kurt Angle from the top ropes. The ref is down. Jarrett gets the guitar. He winds it up. Referee Slick Johnson grabs the guitar from Jeff. Angle slaps on the Anklelock. It is applied in the middle of the ring. Joe pulls AJ off the apron. Jarrett gets to his feet and Angle slaps the Anklelock back on! Angle lays down on it in the middle of the ring. Jarrett is lasting awhile in the hold. It’s been about a minute and a half now. Jarrett looks to be fading. Referee checks the arm and it drops. the referee calls for the bell. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe have won! Great main event.

Winners: Angle and Joe (via pin at 8:55) ***

- The Main Event Mafia comes to the ring to celebrate the victory. Hugs and handshakes all around. Joe has some choice words for Jarrett. AJ runs in the ring with his TNA Legends Championship and swings it around clearing the ring. Joe and Styles get into a scuffle on the ground. The Mafia begin attacking Styles. Steiner hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Styles. Morgan is shown backstage beating up Daniels. Nash is ready to hit AJ with the Legends title. Lights go out! Sting’s music hits! He’s in the ring with the bat! Sting clears the ring with bat shots for everyone in the Main Event Mafia! Sting has possession of the TNA World Heavyweight Championship! The lights go out, then back on and Sting is gone with the title as the show comes to an end. Nice ending.

Overall Thoughts: Well, the first hour was….pretty bad. But Impact did pick up during the second hour, with 3 good tag matches. They kept the build strong for some feuds, including Tara vs. Angelina and Abyss vs. Dr. Stevie. I do wish that TNA would downsize the backstage crap on Impact.

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