Pro Wrestling Ponderings

Dunkin’ Donuts Center – Providence, Rhode Island – 4.26.09

DVD Release Date: May 26, 2009

MATCH #1: ECW Championship Match – Jack Swagger vs. Christian

Swagger has been the champion since 1.13.09, and this is his fourth defense. They take it right to the mat, where obviously Swagger dominates. Christian comes back with slaps and a headlock, but Swagger escapes and knocks Christian down with two straight shoulderblocks. Swagger then picks Christian up over his head and drops him over the top rope to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Back in the ring the ECW Champion is firmly in control. Christian tires that swinging kick out of the corner he does, but Swagger blocks it and slams Christian down to the mat for a two-count. Swagger Rules. He continues working over the ribs with various submission holds and strikes. Christian comes back and hits that swinging kick out of the corner this time, but Swagger drops him with a knee to the gut. Swagger then tries a Vader Bomb, but Christian gets his knees up. Christian fights back with forearms and tries a tornado DDT. Swagger blocks the DDT but can’t block a sunset flip off the second rope, which gets two. That near fall seems to have irked Swagger, who picks Christian up and slams him down to the mat. The champion tries the gut-wrench powerbomb, but the challenger blocks it. Swagger sets Christian up on the top rope, and this time Christian is able to hit the tornado DDT for a two-count. Once again Swagger is irked by the near-fall, and hits a belly-to-belly suplex to show his frustration. The battle spills to the floor and Swagger appears to be going for a German Suplex off the apron to the floor. Someone’s been watching old ROH tapes, and I approve. Christian dumps Swagger back in the ring and goes up top, but Swagger stops him and back body drops him! This time Swagger hits the Vader Bomb but Christian kicks out at two! Christian tries the Killswitch, but Swagger reverses that to half an Oklahoma Stampede, and Christian reverses that to a rolling prawn hold for two. Both men are back to their feet, and this time Swagger hits the full Oklahoma Stampede for a two-count. A frustrated Swagger removes one of the turnbuckle pads, and while the referee is distracted with that, Christian does the same. Swagger charges and runs into the exposed steel, and then Christian hits the Killswitch to win the title at 11:00. That was an absolutely tremendous match, and I love how both guys didn’t give up on hitting their big moves. I think Swagger is totally the future of the WWE.
Rating: ***¾

MATCH #2: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

I wonder if they were planning on doing this one-on-one match all along, or if everyone was just so blown away by Steamboat at WrestleMania that they had to do this. Either way I’m ecstatic. Steamboat has dyed his hair for his first singles match on pay-per-view since facing Steve Austin for the United States title at Bash at the Beach on July 17, 1994. Jericho tries to stall, so Steamboat takes him down. Steamboat avoids outmaneuvers Jericho and hits a slingshot dive to the floor, wiping out the first-ever Undisputed Champion. Back in the ring Steamboat continues to control the younger Jericho, working in a few of his signature armdrags. Jericho finally makes the comeback when Steamboat tries to skin the cat, and Jericho viciously clotheslines him back over the ropes and to the floor. He hits the springboard dropkick, and Jericho is firmly in control now. Jericho puts on a modified Cobra Clutch. Steamboat fights out of that and hits an armdrag, but Jericho puts him right back down with a clothesline for two. Jericho grinds him down with a headlock, and Steamboat can’t even break it with a belly-to-back suplex. He tries the bulldog, but Steamboat pushes him off, and Jericho lands on the top turnbuckle. Steamboat hits a belly-to-back superplex, and Jericho kicks out at two! I wonder if Steamboat learned that from Bryan Danielson. Steamboat is on fire now, hitting a series of chops for another two-count. A powerslam gets another close near-fall for the Hall of Famer. Jericho comes back with the enziguiri for two. He hits the bulldog this time, and goes for the Lionsault, but Steamboat catches him in an Electric Chair, which Jericho rolls through to the Walls of Jericho! Steamboat reverses that but has trouble putting on the modified Figure-Four Leglock. Jericho rolls to the ropes, and now they fight on the apron. Steamboat dumps Jericho to the mat and goes up top for a high cross body block, but it only gets two! He goes to the second rope for a chop to the head, but Jericho catches him with a Code Breaker, but Steamboat gets his foot on the bottom rope! Jericho goes for a slam but Steamboat rolls it into a small package just like WrestleMania III, but Jericho kicks out at two. Moments later Jericho locks on the Walls of Jericho, and Steamboat has to tap out at 12:32. Obviously it wasn’t the Ricky Steamboat from the ‘80s, but you never forget how to work, and Steamboat is one of the greatest of all time. That was probably his last match, and it was a good one to go out on. The crowd gives him a respectful round of applause and a “you still got it” chant.
Rating: ***

MATCH #3: CM Punk vs. Kane

This match came about because Punk and Kane were the last two men on a ladder during the Money in the Bank match at WrestleMania. Punk tries to avoid Kane early on, but Kane is able to use his strength to work Punk over. That doesn’t last too long though, as Punk catches Kane in a cross armbreaker in the ropes. Punk goes after Kane’s right arm and shoulder, and knocks Kane to the floor. He tries to hit a slingshot dive, but Kane grabs him by the throat for a chokeslam attempt, which Punk avoids. He’s then able to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in the ring he once again goes after Kane’s shoulder. Kane reverses a whip and sort of sends Punk’s ribs into the ring post, and then Kane kicks Punk all the way to the floor. He follows Punk out and slams his back into the steel ring post. Back in the ring Kane gets a two-count. The Big Red Machine goes to work on Punk’s ribs, locking him in a body scissors. Kane hits a clothesline for two, and continues the assault. He tries a Chokeslam, but Punk counters it with a single-arm DDT. Punk then locks Kane in a kind of Tarantula in the ropes, using the referee’s five-count to great effectiveness. He has until five, referee. Punk hits a springboard clothesline to the back of the neck, and then runs right into a big boot. Kane goes up top, and Punk catches him with an enziguiri. Punk tries Go 2 Sleep, but Kane avoids it. Kane tries to retreat in the corner, but Punk follows him in with the knee to the face and a bulldog for two. Punk tries another springboard clothesline, but Kane swats him out of the air for a two-count. Kane tries a powerslam but Punk reverses it to a cross armbreaker, which Kane powers out of with a side suplex for two. Punk avoids another Chokeslam with a series of kicks and strikes. But he can only avoid the Chokeslam for so long, as when Kane finally hits a two-handed Chokeslam (which pays off Punk’s arm work nicely) that’s enough for the pin at 9:25. That was solid and featured some nice psychology, but it felt more like something that could have happened on TV. I remember marks on the internet freaking out about Punk jobbing clean here, but I’m pretty sure he wound up okay.
Rating: **½

MATCH #4: “I Quit” Match – Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

The younger Hardy is the aggressor early on, trying to pay his older brother back for costing him the WWE Title and beating him at WrestleMania. They take it to the floor pretty quickly, and Jeff uses the ring steps to jump off and wipe out his brother against the security wall. Back in the ring it’s all Jeff working over his older brother Matt. Jeff puts on a sleeper, but Matt still won’t quit. Matt counters by dropping Jeff’s chin on the top turnbuckle. Jeff climbs up top and Matt shoves him to the floor, but Jeff won’t quit yet either. Matt joins his brother on the floor and rams Jeff’s leg into the ring post twice. Back in the ring Matt locks on the Figure-Four Leglock, but Jeff refuses to quit. Matt continues attacking the leg, once again locking on a Figure-Four, but this time Jeff reverses it and Matt won’t quit. The elder Hardy reaches the ropes, and he’s still in better shape than his brother, so he goes right back to work on the leg. The crowd seems to be distracted with something else, which is always a bummer for the guys in the ring. Anyway, Matt sets Jeff up on the top rope, and Jeff knocks him down and hits the Whisper in the Wind. They get back to their feet and Jeff slugs away, and then he hits his reverse enziguiri. Now Jeff goes after Matt’s leg, locking him in a sort of Texas Cloverleaf, and Matt taps out but he won’t say “I Quit.” Matt gets to the ropes, so Jeff breaks the hold, probably out of habit. Jeff tries a Twist of Fate, and they blow it, so they redo the spot and Jeff hits the move. He goes up top and hits the Swanton Bomb, but Matt still won’t quit, so Jeff hits another one. Jeff then goes to the floor and produces a table. Matt rolls to the floor to avoid the table, but Jeff hits a nice Twist of Fate instead. Back in the ring Jeff sets Matt on the table, and goes back under the ring for some duct tape and rope. Jeff duct tapes his brother’s legs and arms together, and then uses the rope to tie him to the table. Then he goes outside the ring again and brings in a ladder! He takes the shirt off so the girlies can scream, and starts climbing the ladder. Matt is completely helpless, duct taped and tied to the table, so he apologizes to his younger brother, tells him he loves him, pleads with him not to listen to the people, says that their mother and father would not approve, and then says “I Quit” to end the match at 19:06. I like the lengths that Jeff went to in order to get back at his brother. The finish was reminiscent of John Cena versus JBL from 2005, but I think it worked in the context of this story too. This was about on par with their WrestleMania match.
Rating: ***¼

Great Khali Kiss Cam with Santina Marella

This abomination of a segment leads to an impromptu match for the Miss WrestleMania crown, with Beth Phoenix challenging. Santina takes advantage of Khali bopping Beth on the head by calling for the bell and literally getting the win in 0:03. This segment would have been irritating on free TV, but on pay-per-view it’s inexcusable.
Rating: DUD

MATCH #5: 6-Man Tag Team Match for the WWE Championship – Triple H, Batista & Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase

Triple H has been the champion since 2.15.09, and this is his second defense. I guess Shane McMahon gets to be involved in every six-man tag team match that’s also for the WWE Title. The good guys attack right away and Triple H takes Orton up the aisle and seemingly disposes of him. The referee forces DiBiase and Rhodes to start the match in a three-on-two situation. The commentators don’t really make much of a big deal out of that. Batista and Rhodes start the match proper. If either Rhodes or DiBiase scores the pin, Orton will win the title, and if Shane or Batista scores the pin, Triple H will retain the title. Obviously Rhodes gets worked over pretty harshly in the opening minutes. DiBiase gets the same treatment, as it’s all babyfaces for a while. Batista takes the fight to DiBiase on the floor, and Orton comes back from out of nowhere and rams Batista into the steel ring post. Orton tags into the match officially and goes to work on Batista. The entire Legacy trio goes after the Animal’s head, and Orton hits the rope-assisted DDT (give that thing a name; in fact, there are many wrestling moves hanging around that need names) for two. DiBiase grinds away with a headlock, which Batista breaks with a belly-to-back suplex. They stop Batista from making a tag initially, but the next time he’s able to tag Shane as Orton tags Rhodes. Shane quickly takes it to the floor and starts rearranging the announce table, but DiBiase breaks that up. Back in the ring Shane hits an elbow off the top rope for two, as DiBiase pulls him to the floor and Orton whips him into the steel steps knees-first. Rhodes tags Orton to make him the legal man, and he commences working Shane over. Rhodes and DiBiase get their shots in too, as Legacy displays some impressive teamwork. I like the story of Triple H having to stand on the apron and watch his title being defended for him. Legacy keeps Shane isolated for many minutes, working him over in their half of the ring and making sure he doesn’t make the tag. DiBiase puts Shane in the Million Dollar Dream, but Shane escapes it and hits a DDT. Both men are down, and DiBiase makes the first tag to Orton, and then Shane makes the hot tag to the WWE Champion Triple H! The Game is on fire, pitching Rhodes and DiBiase to the floor, and nailing Orton with a huge spinebuster for two. Batista takes the battle to DiBiase on the floor, while Rhodes breaks up a Pedigree attempt with a DDT on the Game. Shane clotheslines Rhodes to the floor, leaving just Orton and Triple H in the ring. Somehow Triple H and Orton are both down in the ring, while Rhodes cracks Shane with a chair on the floor. Orton and Triple H rise, and Orton tries the RKO, which Triple H reverses to a Pedigree attempt. Triple H then sees Batista about to use a chair on the floor, and he stops him because a DQ in this case would result in a title change. The confusion leads to Orton hitting an RKO for a very near fall – so near in fact that the bell rings, but rest assured the match is not over yet. Seconds later Orton hits the Punt Kick to score the pin and win the WWE Championship at 22:49. The heat segments felt a little long, but overall the match was a fun chaotic brawl, and Triple H jobbed pretty clean.
Rating: ***½

MATCH #6: Last Man Standing Match for the World Heavyweight Championship – John Cena vs. Edge

Cena has been the champion since 4.5.09, and this is his first defense. The crowd is hot for the start of this one. They start pretty slowly, and counter each other’s signature moves, since they’ve battled so many times in the past three years. Edge gets the early advantage and gets ac couple of counts on Cena, but of course not a 10-count just yet. Last Monday on Raw Edge gave Cena a con-chair-toe, so they’re playing up Cena’s head trauma for this one. Edge locks Cena in a sleeper hold, but that can’t keep Cena down. In fact Cena fires up with one of his signature comebacks, and he tries the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Edge avoids it and locks on a Sharpshooter. That’s still not enough to keep Cena down for a 10-count, so Edge takes it to the floor, sets Cena’s head on the steel steps, and then misses a charge and rams his shoulder into the steel. Edge recovers and whips Cena into a different set of steps. Cena makes it back to his feet and this time he whips Edge into the steps. They go back to the ring, and Cena brings the steps with him. Unfortunately for Cena, that gave Edge time to recover, and he kicks Cena square in the face. Edge then uses the steps to his own advantage, ramming them into Cena and then dropkicking them into Cena’s body. Cena won’t stay down, so Edge charges and gets dumped over the ropes and to the floor. The champion then grabs the steps and whips them over the ropes and right into Edge’s face. Somehow Edge makes it back to the ring and they trade blows. Surprisingly the crowd is more in support of Edge at this point. Both competitors knock each other out with punches. They get back up and go for big moves, but it’s Edge hitting a belly-to-back suplex to take Cena down. Cena recovers and locks on the STF, and Edge taps out but it doesn’t matter in this Last Man Standing match. That doesn’t work so Cena tries the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge slips out and hits a Spear. Edge goes up top and Cena meets him up there for a Super Attitude Adjustment! Both men are down and the referee starts the count. Cena gets up before Edge, who barely gets up at the count of nine. The champ goes up to the top rope for the flying something, and Edge catches him out of the air with a Spear. They take the battle to the floor and onto the announce table, where Cena delivers the Attitude Adjustment onto a bunch of “fans.” Edge makes it back up at nine, and tries to run away through the concourse of the arena. Cena will have none of that, of course, and they fight through the arena floor. They make it to the entrance area, and Edge hits an Edgecution on the steel. Edge finds a chair and wallops Cena with it, and then hits him again in the head, but still can’t get the 10-count. The challenger tries a Spear, but Cena catches him in the Attitude Adjustment. Unfortunately for the champion, the Big Show comes out and delivers a thunderous Chokeslam through one of the searchlights in the entrance area. That’s enough to keep Cena down for the 10-count and give Edge his ninth World Title at 28:24. I’m not a huge fan of the finish, but the match was terrific, with all kinds of cool spots and brutality. Edge and Cena just have excellent chemistry together, and this match proved it.
Rating: ****¼

Share This

Key Arena – Seattle, Washington – 2.15.09

DVD Release Date: March 17, 2009

MATCH #1: Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship – Edge vs. Triple H vs. Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show vs. Vladimir Kozlov

In qualifying matches: Undertaker beat Mark Henry (Smackdown 1/30); Big Show beat Festus (Smackdown 1/30); Triple H beat Vladimir Kozlov and The Great Khali in a three-way match (Smackdown 1/30); and Vladimir Kozlov won a 15-man battle royal (Smackdown 2/6). Edge has been the champion since 1.25.09, and this is his first defense. It’s not too often that Undertaker comes out first on a pay-per-view. Edge gets fantastic heel heat; I miss him. Hardy and Edge start the match, and Hardy wants revenge. The challenger is on a roll right away, knocking Edge down with a series of clotheslines. Edge comes back with a big boot. He tries to put Hardy away but can’t do so just yet. Hardy comes back with a headscissors, and hits his legdrop and a dropkick to the face. He’s able to hit the Twist of Fate, but then misses the Swanton. Edge tries a Spear, but Hardy rolls him up in an inside cradle and Edge is gone at about 3:04! The crowd pops huge as they both get the satisfaction of Edge getting some comeuppance and the realization that a new WWE Champion will be crowned. Edge is livid. Hardy gets a few moments to rest before Kozlov is released from his cage. Kozlov levels Hardy with a big boot and then drives shoulders into his midsection. Hardy fights back and tries a leap off the second rope but Kozlov gets a battering ram right into the sternum. Kozlov takes the fight to Hardy outside the ring, ramming him into the chamber wall, and then dumping him back in the ring for a two-count. The Moscow Mauler is dominating here. Hardy slips out of a powerslam and dropkicks Kozlov into the turnbuckle and hits the corner dropkick. He follows up with Whisper in the Wind, and while both men are down Big Show enters the fray. Show goes right after Hardy while Kozlov regroups. Hardy is in big trouble now, getting double-teamed by Show and Kozlov. After several minutes of working together, Kozlov knocks Show down with a shoulderblock. Show gets up and they trade shots. The next man in the match is the Game. He goes right after Show with a knee to the face, and has one for Kozlov as well. He even hits Show with a spinebuster! Hardy comes in and tries the Twist of Fate on Triple H, but the freshest man in the match avoids it and hits a clothesline. He then dumps Kozlov to the steel and tries a Pedigree, but Show breaks it up for some reason. Show hits a side suplex on Triple H for a two-count. The crowd gets fired up for the waiting Undertaker, while Show hits a press slam on Triple H and Kozlov abuses Hardy. Show takes Hardy and Triple H outside the ring, and misses a charge into the wall. Triple H and Hardy then double-suplex Kozlov, and then Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind. Finally Undertaker comes out and he tears into Show. The crowd is pleased. Undertaker is an equal opportunity butt-kicker here, going after everyone. He takes Show down with a big clothesline and then grabs Triple H and goes for Old School. He changes flight mid-move and jumps onto Show outside the ring, and hits a devastating DDT! That was awesome. Kozlov stops Undertaker’s momentum and drives him into the corner. He stupidly goes for mounted punches and Undertaker hits the Last Ride to eliminate Kozlov at 23:00. Show recovers and hits Undertaker with a Chokeslam. Triple H goes for a Pedigree, but Show backdrops him onto the steel. Show then hurls Hardy right into Triple H as Kozlov is making his way out of the chamber. Hardy winds up getting crotched on top of one of the pods in an awesome spot. Show tries to grab Hardy off the top of the pod, but Undertaker comes up and hits a superplex. Triple H nails Show with the Pedigree. Hardy then comes off the top of the pod with a Swanton Bomb, and Triple H grabs the pin to eliminate Show at 26:13. Undertaker whips Triple H over the corner and onto the steel, and then turns his attention to Hardy, who has been in this match much longer than either of the other two competitors left. Triple H breaks up an Old School attempt and everyone is down. Moments later Undertaker nails Hardy with the Tombstone to eliminate him at 28:32. Undertaker takes first advantage, slugging away at Triple H in the corner. He misses a charge in the corner and they take the fight to the steel outside the ring. Triple H whips Undertaker into the wall and they go back to the ring. He tries jumping off the top rope but he gets caught in an Undertaker chokeslam for a two-count. Undertaker hits Snake Eyes, but Triple H comes back with a spinebuster for two. They migrate back to the steel and Triple H tries a Pedigree. Undertaker blocks it and catapults Triple H into the wall. He then pulls Triple H back into the ring with a Tombstone, but Triple H gets hit foot on the bottom rope! They struggle back to their feet and Triple H hits a Pedigree, but Undertaker kicks out! They get up and trade punches. For some reason Triple H goes for the Mounted Punches and Undertaker tries the Last Ride but Triple H avoids it! Triple H hits another Pedigree and this time gets the pin and wins the Title for the thirteenth time at 35:58. That was an awesome match with some really cool spots both involving and not involving the chamber. I also love the booking of taking Edge out just minutes into the match. Everyone worked hard here, and the final stuff between Triple H and Undertaker was great stuff.
Rating: ****¼

MATCH #2: No Holds Barred Match – Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton

Orton walks right into a punch in the face to start the match, and then another one. Shane hits more punches and Orton doesn’t hit any. Alas, I spoke too soon – Orton comes back with a bunch of punches. They take it to the floor and start bringing the weapons out. Orton hits that inverted backbreaker he does, and then rams Shane into the ring apron. Back in the ring the fight continues, slowly. Shane fights back with a kendo stick, and the fight spills back to the floor. He takes Orton down with a clothesline, and then cranks him in the face with a TV monitor. He sets Orton on the table and goes up top for the big elbow, but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase come out and put the boots to him. Legacy tries to use a chair, but Super Shane fights them off while Stephanie watches on backstage. Orton is a bloody mess. Shane sets Rhodes up for the Coast to Coast and hits it. Since Orton is still lying on the table, Shane goes back up top and goes for the elbow, but Orton moves and Shane crashes through the table. Orton gets back in the ring and sends Legacy to the back to make sure Rhodes is okay. Shane struggles back to the ring, and Orton hits the spike DDT for two, of course. Orton sets up a table and superplexes Shane through it. That gets just another two-count. Orton sets up for the Punt but Shane stops him with a spear. Shane grabs the chair and goes after Orton’s ankle. He’s set to pounce on Orton, but he comes charging in and Orton grabs an RKO to get the pin at 18:15. They tried hard and did a lot of big spots, but the match as a whole wasn’t very cohesive.
Rating: **¼

MATCH #3: ECW Championship Match – Jack Swagger vs. Finlay

Swagger has been the champion since 1.13.09, and this is his second defense. Why is the champion coming out first? Finlay is accompanied by Hornswoggle. He takes Swagger down right away and goes to work on the champion’s left leg. Swagger comes back and targets the arm. The crowd is not interested at all. Finlay counters a powerslam with an inverted DDT on the knee for a two-count. Swagger comes back and drives Finlay into the corner. He charges and Finlay sort of gets a rollup for a sort of near-fall. Swagger once again drives Finlay into the corner. He sets Finlay on the top turnbuckle, and Finlay knocks the champion down. Finlay gets control and goes up to the second rope for a cross body block for two. Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring apron and briefly distracts his dad. Finlay hits an Earthquake splash for two. Hornswoggle gets up on the apron, and ends up getting knocked down by his own father. That gives Swagger the opportunity to hit the Gut Wrench Powerbomb (that thing needs a name) to get the pin and retain the title at 7:59. I really like Swagger, but following a match with as many gimmicks as Orton and Shane had didn’t do any favors for the ECW Title match. And the Hornswoggle stuff just needs to stop.
Rating: *¾

MATCH #4: All or Nothing Match – Shawn Michaels vs. JBL

I think everyone breathed a sigh of relief when they announced they were blowing this match off on this show instead of WrestleMania. JBL tries to intimidate his employee, but Michaels fires back with a series of shots much to the crowd’s delight. He goes to the floor and tries to bait Michaels into using a chair, but HBK will have none of it. Back in the ring JBL blocks a sunset flip for a two-count. Michaels gets a backslide for one, and then JBL knocks him down with a shoulderblock. JBL hits an elbow drop for two. Michaels comes back and goes for the leg, locking JBL in the figure-four. JBL reaches the ropes, so Michaels then locks on the Crossface, which JBL counters to a pinning predicament for two. Michaels tries an Irish whip into the buckle but JBL reverses it and Michaels crashes to the floor. Back in the ring JBL hits a series of elbow drops for a near-fall. The much larger JBL overpowers Michaels for several minutes as the crowd tries to encourage HBK. JBL locks Michaels in a bearhug, but Michaels powers out and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Both men get back to their feet and Michaels gets a few shots in. JBL reverses a whip and sends Michaels flipping into the turnbuckle. He sets Michaels up top and goes for a superplex. Michaels blocks it and sends JBL down to the canvas. He tries the top-rope elbow but JBL moves out of the way. They get back to their feet and JBL hits the Clothesline from Hell for a two-count! JBL hits another one, and shoves Michaels to the floor. Michaels barely makes it back to the ring at the count of nine. JBL hurls Michaels back to the floor, and follows him out. He goes over to Shawn’s wife Rebecca, who slaps him right in the face. That fires her husband up, and they take it back to the ring. It’s Vintage Shawn Michaels all over the place. Michaels hits the Sweet Chin Music to get the pin and earn his independence at 13:19. The finish was fun because the crowd always gets hyped up for Shawn’s comebacks, but most of the match was as dull as most of JBL’s matches are.
Rating: **

MATCH #5: Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship – John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kofi Kingston Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Mike Knox vs. Kane

In qualifying matches, Kofi Kingston beat Kane (Raw 1/26); John Cena beat Shawn Michaels (Raw 1/26); Rey Mysterio beat William Regal (Raw 1/26); Chris Jericho beat CM Punk (Raw 1/26); Mike Knox won a battle royal (house show 2/1); and Kane got into the match by convincing his half-brother Undertaker to fight Randy Orton on Raw (Raw 2/2). Cena has been the champion since 11.23.08 and this is his third defense. When Kofi Kingston makes his entrance, former WWE Champion Edge appears and throws Kofi into the stairs and cracks a steel chair across his head! Edge then takes Kofi’s place in the pod! That’s awesome. Mysterio and Jericho will start the match. They trade some holds, and Mysterio gets the first advantage. Mysterio goes for an early 619 but Jericho avoids it. Even so Mysterio stays in control until he tries running into Jericho in the corner but Jericho moves and Mysterio crashes into Kane’s pod! That was cool. Jericho is firmly in control now, back dropping Mysterio onto the steel outside the ring. He tries a catapult, but Mysterio catches onto the wall and climbs up it to deliver an awesome headscissors. Back in the ring Mysterio hits a seated senton for two. Mysterio hits a bulldog, and Kane joins the match. Kane goes after everyone, and even intimidates Edge. He hits Mysterio with a side suplex for two. He then hits a low dropkick (!) for two. He clotheslines Jericho over the ropes to the steel and follows him out. It’s all Kane for several minutes until Jericho catches him with a Code Breaker. Mysterio dumps Jericho out of the ring, and then climbs to the top of a pod to hit Kane with a seated senton to eliminate him at 9:36! Moments later Knox joins the match and goes right after Mysterio. He also goes after Jericho, throwing everybody around. Knox goes for a Shellshock on Mysterio, but Jericho catches him with a Code Breaker to get the elimination at 14:40. Edge is the next one out, and Mysterio doesn’t wait for him to escape the pod! Mysterio is avenging his friend Kofi Kingston. Edge lies in wait and takes advantage when both Jericho and Mysterio are vulnerable. He tries a Spear on Mysterio, who moves, and Jericho tries the Code Breaker but Edge avoids it. Mysterio gets Edge in position for a 619, and Jericho again blocks it with a Spear. They do a Tower of Doom spot and everyone is down. Edge gets control and the Champ Is Here! Cena goes right after Edge, and has plenty for Jericho too. He goes for the Attitude Adjustment on Edge, but Jericho breaks it up with a Code Breaker. That sets Cena up to take the 619 from Mysterio. Edge then pins Cena to eliminate the champ at 22:18. It hasn’t been a good night for the champions. Mysterio fights off both opponents. He hits a 619 on Jericho, but when he goes for a springboard rana Jericho catches him in the Walls of Jericho. Mysterio reverses that to a rollup and Jericho is eliminated at 23:50! Edge sets up for a Spear but Mysterio avoids it and gets a rollup for two! A moonsault gets another two-count. A kick to the face gets yet another near-fall for Mysterio. He tries another moonsault but Edge catches him, and Mysterio reverses again for a DDT for another near-fall. Mysterio goes to the top rope and Edge knocks him down to the steel. Edge tries a powerbomb but Mysterio reverses it to a facebuster! Mysterio executes a reverse 619. Mysterio charges at Edge and gets thrown into the pod! Back in the ring Edge hits a Spear to get the pin at win his eighth World Title at 29:43. Edge losing his title early on but then leaving with the other belt is pretty awesome, and builds intrigue, since both World Titles are in the hands of Smackdown wrestlers now. I thought they’d have trouble living up to the first chamber match, but they did it.
Rating: ****¼

Share This

HSBC Arena – Buffalo, NY – 12.14.08

DVD Release Date: January 13, 2009

MATCH #1: Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Hardy is the ECW Champion but his title is not on the line. Kozlov comes right at the smaller, more agile Hardy, who is able to avoid him early on and get a few shots in. Hardy gets a sunset flip for a not-near-fall. A schoolboy rollup gets two. Kozlov comes back with a back suplex and then tosses Hardy’s shoulder into the ring post twice. He goes after Hardy’s shoulder know, wearing it down. Hardy breaks a hammerlock with a chinbreaker. He gets a couple of shots in but Kozlov cuts him off with a series of headbutts to the chest for a two-count. He continues working on the left arm. Hardy comes back by snapping Kozlov’s throat off the top rope and then heading up top. He hits a double axe handle and tosses Kozlov to the floor. He slams Kozlov’s head into the ring post twice and throws him back into the ring. Hardy hits the Side Effect but Kozlov grabs the bottom rope. He signals for the Twist of Fate but Kozlov blocks it, only to eat a boot to the face. Hardy goes up to the second rope and Kozlov swats him out of the air. This time Hardy grabs the bottom rope at two. Kozlov drags Hardy out to the center of the ring and Hardy grabs a quick small package for two. Hardy goes for mounted punches in the corner, but Kozlov drops him throat first on top of the ring post! Kozlov follows with a headbutt to the chest and the Iron Curtain finishes the ECW Champion at 8:59. I actually kind of like Kozlov as a worker, and this was a pretty solid match.
Rating: **½

MATCH #2: Final Match in the WWE Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender Tournament – Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

This was the start of WWE taking the Intercontinental Title seriously for the first time in a while. Sure it was done to promote their DVD, but they’re still doing a pretty good job with the belt, so kudos. Punk beat Snitsky and Morrison to get here, while Rey got by The Miz and Kofi Kingston. Intercontinental Champion William Regal and his valet Layla are at ringside to observe the match. They announce that Punk and Kofi Kingston lost the World Tag Team Championships to John Morrison & the Miz at a house show last night in Canada. Rey and Punk start with a nice respectful handshake. Punk gets a quick rollup for two, and Rey quickly returns the favor. They trade some holds and pin covers back and forth. Rey tries an early 619 but Punk avoids it and hits a couple of armdrags. Punk tries Go 2 Sleep but Rey counters with an armdrag of his own. Rey charges at Punk but gets backdropped over the top rope, falling hard on the floor. Back in the ring it’s all Punk for several minutes. Rey escapes the Tree of Woe and hits a moonsault for two. Punk comes back with a snap powerslam for two. Rey comes back with a cross armbreaker and Punk reaches the ropes. He sends Punk to the floor and follows him out with a leap off the top rope onto Punk. Back in the ring Rey hits a seated senton and an Asai cross body block for two. Rey gets a victory roll for another two, and Punk reverses it for a near-fall of his won. Punk comes back with the running knee in the corner/bulldog combo for two. They trade some more moves as Cole busts out “Swashbuckling” in reference to Rey’s style. Punk avoids the 619 and tries Go 2 Sleep, which Rey reverses and this time hits the 619! Rey goes for the springboard splash but Punk moves, and Rey still gets a rollup for two. He tries to go up and over Punk in the corner, but Punk catches him and hits Go 2 Sleep to become the #1 Contender at 12:16. That was really good stuff and I’m thinking they can do even better.
Rating: ***¾

MATCH #3: Belfast Brawl – Finlay vs. Mark Henry

Finlay starts slugging away, and they quickly take it to the floor. He throws Henry’s face into the timekeeper’s table, but when he tries to ram Henry into the ring post the World’s Strongest Man reverses it and starts throwing Finlay around. Back in the ring Finlay avoids a splash and goes out under the ring for some weapons. Tony Atlas interferes to give Henry the advantage. Henry smashes Finlay in the face with a trash can lid. He controls the action for several minutes, but then gets too cocky and Finlay comes back by throwing a trash can into Henry’s face. Finlay then uncorks a couple of shots with the kendo stick and a modified DDT. Henry comes back with a shot to the throat. He takes Finlay down and tries a Banzai Drop and Finlay moves. Finlay tries to introduce the shillelagh but Henry kicks him down and grabs the weapon himself, but he breaks it! The kendo stick gets the same treatment. Hornswoggle goes against his father’s orders and tries to interfere, and accidentally gets knocked off the ring apron and disappears. Henry sets up Finlay in the corner and smashes a trash can up against him, and then hits him over the back with it a couple of times. He brings the steel steps into the ring and Finlay avoids getting hit with them by landing a dropkick to the knee. Hornswoggle reappears and gives Finlay a second shillelagh and he cracks Henry with it to get the pin at 9:39. That was decent, the kind of match I don’t mind seeing on free TV.
Rating: **¼

MATCH #4: Batista vs. Randy Orton

Orton tries to wear Batista down, but the Animal overpowers him. They’re starting slowly to put over how well they know each other form past history. Batista knocks Orton down, but then Orton suckers Batista over to the ropes and pulls him to the floor. Cody Rhodes and Manu attack Batista, and the referee gives them the boot! Now we’re down to a one-on-one match. Orton throws Batista back in the ring and starts working on his shoulder. Batista soon fights back and tries the Batista Bomb but Orton avoids it and hits a neckbreaker. That doesn’t last too long and Batista delivers a series of shoulders to the midsection and throws Orton to the floor. Orton is grabbing his shoulder in pain. Back in the ring Orton is able to hit the super DDT but Batista kicks out at two. It’s all Orton now, as he stomps away at Batista. Orton works over Batista’s neck, using a variety of restholds. Batista powers out and slams Orton down, and they get back to their feet at the count of four. They trade bombs and Batista wins that battle. Batista whips Orton into the corner and hits a clothesline. He goes for a powerslam but Orton avoids it, only to eat a clothesline. Batista then clotheslines Orton to the floor once again. He goes to the top rope, and Orton knocks him down and hits an impressive superplex. Batista comes back with a spinebuster for two. He goes for another Batista Bomb, but Orton avoids it. Orton tries the RKO but Batista counters to a Boss Man Slam for two. Batista goes for a Spear but Orton blocks it and hits his backbreaker for two. Orton goes for the RKO but Batista blocks it and hits a sidewalk slam for two. Back to their feet Orton hits a chinbreaker and another DDT for two. Orton sets up for the running punt but Batista counters and drives shoulders into Orton’s midsection. Batista then hits a series of mounted punches. When Orton tries to escape, Batista is able to hold on and hit the Batista Bomb for the pin at 16:41. The first half was a little dull but I really liked the second half.
Rating: ***

2008 Slammy Award Winners

Match of the Year: Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair, WrestleMania 24
Extreme Moment of the Year: Jeff Hardy
Tag Team of the Year: Miz & John Morrison
Diva of the Year: Beth Phoenix
Oh My God! Moment of the Year: CM Punk
Couple of the Year: Edge and Vickie
Superstar of the Year: Chris Jericho

I can’t really argue with any of that. Congratulations to all the winners.

MATCH #5: Santa’s Little Helper Tag Team Match – Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly & Maria vs. Maryse, Natalya, Jillian & Victoria

Mickie and Maryse start the match. They do some stuff and then Maryse tags in Natalya. Mickie follows by tagging Kelly, who gets a quick sunset flip for two. Natalya recovers and goes to work on Kelly’s arm. Jillian comes in and works on Kelly as well. Kelly makes the hot tag to Maria, who is wearing “John Nord-like boots” (thanks, Tazz). Maria makes the comeback and appears to be going for some kind of move, but Michelle roughly tags herself in and hits the Styles Clash to steal the pinfall at 4:34. Did Victoria even get tagged in?
Rating: ¼*

MATCH #6: World Heavyweight Championship Match – John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena has been the champion since 11.23.08, and this is his first defense. They fiercely lockup to start the match, and Jericho goes right to the headlock. Jericho gets the early advantage, but Cena quickly comes back with a takedown and a series of right hands. The challenger tries to regroup on the floor but Cena chases him out. Jericho attacks Cena on his way back into the ring and goes to work. Cena powers out of a chinlock with an F-U attempt, but Jericho counters to a DDT. They fight on the apron, where Cena catches Jericho off the top rope and tries another F-U. Jericho avoids this one too, and delivers a bulldog off the ring apron to the steps. Back in the ring Jericho gets a two-count. The challenger gets a few minutes of offense before Cena comes back with his flurry. He hits the You Can’t See Me and once again tries the F-U. Jericho almost counters to the Walls of Jericho, but Cena powers out and hits a belly-to-belly suplex for two. The challenger comes back with a missile dropkick for two. Cena tries the Throwback but Jericho avoids it and hits a Lionsault for two. Jericho tries a superplex but Cena blocks and hits the legdrop off the top for two. Back to their feet Cena tries another F-U and Jericho counters again, this time to a Code Breaker. Cena kicks out at two! Jericho charges at Cena, who finally connects with a big F-U. That only gets two for the champion. Jericho gets a small package out of nowhere for two. He tries an enziguiri but Cena ducks and tries the STFU, but Jericho reverses to the Walls of Jericho. Cena reverses it to the STFU and Jericho taps out at a brisk 12:43. These two have always worked well together, and while this wasn’t a classic it was energetic and fun enough. Plus I’m sure they didn’t’ want to overshadow the main event.
Rating: ***¼

MATCH #7: Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship – Edge vs. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy

Edge has been the champion since 11.23.08, and this is his first defense. Hardy goes after the champion right away, but Triple H isn’t just going to just let Hardy have all the fun. They do some three-way brawling, and the match soon spills to the floor. Hardy hits a slingshot dive onto Edge, and then gets clotheslined by Triple H. Edge and Triple H get back in the ring, and Triple H is firmly in control. Hardy rejoins them and Triple H takes control of him too. Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Edge, but Hardy breaks it up with a Whisper in the Wind. Moments later, Hardy nails Edge with the Whisper in the Wind, but from atop Triple H’s shoulders. That was neat. They’ve done a pretty good job of keeping all three guys involved without contrived spots to eliminate them. Edge nails Triple H with a Spear, and then Hardy clotheslines Edge over the ropes to the floor. The crowd is going nuts for the younger Hardy brother. Hardy hits Triple H with the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb, but Edge breaks up the pin by pulling Hardy to the floor. They brawl out there for a bit while Triple H is recovering in the ring. Hardy takes his shirt off and looks to set Edge up to go through a table, but Triple H comes out and breaks it up. The brawl continues on the floor, where Triple H tries to Pedigree Hardy through a table. Edge ends up delivering a Spear to Hardy, breaking the other table. They eventually make it back to the ring, and Triple H hits Edge with the Pedigree, and Vladimir Kozlov comes out and pulls Triple H to the floor! Matt Hardy comes out to fight Kozlov off. Jeff goes to the top rope and Kozlov pushes him down to the floor, and Matt comes at the big Russian once again. Back in the ring Edge hits Triple H with a Spear for two. The champion threatens to use a chair on the Game, but Hardy makes his way up to the apron and takes the chair from Edge and waffles him across the face with it. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Triple H knocks him down. Triple H hits Edge with the Pedigree, but Hardy has recovered and hits Edge with the Swanton to steal the pin and win his first WWE Championship at 17:19. That was a very creative three-way match, with some creative ways to get two guys into a one-on-one situation. I really like the finish, and Jeff Hardy definitely deserved to finally win the big one.
Rating: ****

Share This

-Todd Grisham welcomes us to the show, tonight coming from Fresno, California. Tonight we have the Smackdown fallout from the Bash.

-The show begins with CM Punk coming the ring to explain his kicking of the referee at the Bash. Judging by the reaction of the live crowd, Punk’s turn fully to heel is imminent. After explaining how the errant kick he threw at the referee on Sunday night at the Bash was due to him being unable to see because of an eye injury, Punk admonishes Jeff’s actions after the match and asks him to come down to apologize.

-Teddy Long enters the ring and says that Jeff and Punk will have a rematch at Night of Champions later this month. He also states that Vinnie Mac liked his shaking up of things so much at the Bash that he’s decided to team Punk and Hardy up to face the new unified tag team champions, Edge and Chris Jericho tonight as the main event. Hardy and Punk then face off, with Hardy calling bullshit on the whole eye injury thing. Punk then tells Hardy that instead of hitting him, Jeff should “Just say no.” All in all, a pretty good segment and Punk’s sign off line was a nice touch. Hopefully we’ll have the fully-fledged, straight edge, heel Punk in our lives again soon.

-Finlay vs. Ricky Ortiz
Barely five minutes long, this match ended with Finlay hitting the Celtic Cross for the three. Short and pointless, but no harm done.

-We see Dolph Ziggler and Maria backstage, reminiscing about their date the previous night. Ziggler’s attempting at acting cool around Maria give me the impression he’s going to be gold at some in the future. I was laughing just by looking at him.

-J.R tell us that Rey Mysterio will be facing Kane tonight in a non-title match tonight. Could have done without knowing that.

- Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth
A short, pretty entertaining back and forth match ends with Ziggler hitting his finisher for the win. Looks like Dolph’s getting a bit of a push which could be pretty good. He seems to have quite a lot of potential for entertaining shenanigans.

-Next it’s Cryme Tyme’s “Word Up” segment. I enjoyed making a cup of tea and sandwich at this point during Smackdown last week but now I actually have to watch it. This was an unforeseen hardship. Tonight, Cryme Tyme hide behind some large pot plants and spy on Layla. More unnerving than that is the fact that, while they’re doing that, Shad appears to have his hand on his genitals for the duration. Then Jesse, formerly of Jesse and Festus fame, showing up and talking shit. This was total balls.

- Kane vs. Rey Mysterio
After his tremendous matches recently with Chris Jericho, I’m sure Rey Rey was just as disappointed as the viewing public when he found he was going to be competing against Kane tonight. Still, the match isn’t bad. Kane destroys Mysterio for the most part, eventually picking up the win with a chokeslam after a nice ending sequence. My initial thoughts were that WWE had made the I.C title look terrible by having their champ beat in a meaningless TV match but it appears as though they’re trying to build Kane again, and J.R did put over the fact that Rey competed in a great match just a few days prior at the Bash so it wasn’t that bad. Just as Kane’s about to unleash a post-match beating on Mysterio, The Great Khali lumbers down to the ring with a chair and breaks it up.  So it has come to pass. Khali and Kane are going to feud. And I have to watch it all unfold. Someone up there really likes me.

- Next up is Josh Matthews in the back with Jericho. Jericho once again delivers an awesome promo, even slipping the word ‘obsequious’ in there. Not only is this man the best heels in WWE, he has a tremendous vocabulary as well. Jericho is all kinds of awesome. He goes on to say that he’ll be invoking his Intercontinental Title rematch clause next week on Smackdown next week, so we’re in for some more Mysterio-Jericho greatness in a week.

- Cryme Tyme vs. The Hart Dynasty
Cryme Tyme twice in one night? Smackdown, you are truly spoiling me. Pretty solid match on the whole though, just standard tag team fare. Cryme Tyme pick up the win.

- Melina vs. Maria vs. Michelle McCool vs. Layla
Cryme Tyme’s win was quickly followed by some diva related action. This was a good match overall, with only Layla being slightly hard to watch in the ring. Not that she was sloppy or anything, she just didn’t look especially smooth. Michelle McCool and Melina did some great work though, with McCool working more of a ground game and throwing some holds into the mix and Melina being…well… just really bendy. Melina pins Layla after hitting the Primal Scream and gets the three count.

-Next up we see a segment with John Morrison and Teddy Long in Long’s office. This basically revolves around the two of them singing Michael Jackson songs and then Morrison interpreting the lyrics to fit the situation last week when he pinned CM Punk clean. It was entertaining for about 20 seconds but got old pretty quickly. The segment didn’t end with any resolution to Morrison’s issue either, over being rewarded for his victory over Punk. He just basically sang some songs, talked about beating Punk and left. Strange. I was loosking forward to seeing more of Morrison this week but alas, it was not to be.

- Edge and Chris Jericho vs. C.M. Punk and Jeff Hardy
It was now main event time for this week’s Smackdown. Punk and Hardy took control of the tag champs early on, with Punk being visibly hesitant to tag Hardy in. Shortly after this, Jericho takes control and Hardy goes for the tag. Punk acts as though his eye injury is bothering him and doesn’t tag in. After some more action Jeff hits the Twist of Fate on Edge and tags Punk before he notices. Following Punk battling with Jericho, he goes to tag Jeff but Jeff falls to the arena floor feigning an eye injury. Punk manages to hit the GTS on Jericho but not before Jericho blind tags Edge who runs in and hits the spear on Punk for the win. Hardy continues feigning injury until he gets to the top of the ramp, where he reveals it was all just a cunning ruse as the show goes of the air. Another good match involving these four men with some sound story telling throughout.

-Final thoughts
A good Smackdown certainly, but Morrison’s limited involvement damaged my enjoyment of the show a touch. The Cryme Tyme segment I could also have lived without but hey, you’ve got to take the rough with the smooth. Talking of rough, as I said before, the prospect of this Kane-Khali feud is going to haunt me. I have absolutely no interest in Kane and Khali’s terrible in the ring. This is a recipe for disaster is you ask me. Or, at the very least, some fucking horrible PPV matches

More interesting though is the man event scene. With news breaking last night that Edge injured himself during a house show match with Jeff Hardy (a suspected Achilles tendon injury) it will be interesting to see where this takes with regards to the tag team titles and the main event stories. Look for some sort of development on RAW addressing this on Monday, with a possible title change in the works.

Share This

-We should be having a new Smackdown reviewer for next week, so this will likely be my last one. Last week, Jeff Hardy and CM Punk each defeated the men involved in the “Mask vs. Title” Intercontinental championship match. This week, we get a cage match and Punk in a non-title match with John Morrison. Sounds like more goodness. With that being said…

-Taped from just another Chicago suburb

-Your hosts those guys… you know the ones

Vince McMahon opens things up. Well, there goes this show. I’m reviewing the show off Hulu this week, so there might be a little less detail this week. Boy, that evil face of Vince McMahon really is too creepy. He makes fun of Wisconsin. He says the crowd is scared of him. He talks about jobs. Two days from a Pay-Per-View and we get this garbage. I know McMahon would never ever read this article or this review. I know he’s a successful businessman who’s re-made the wrestling business and killed WCW. I also know’s an egomaniac and that his continued presence onscreen only reveals his insecurities. Speaking of revealing insecurities, he then dresses Teddy Long down. And since we can’t call it a “cage match” because it’s too southern wrasslin’ it’s a “Rage in the Cage” match. Great, Teddy Long is on probation You know, fuck Vince and fuck this shit. Moving on…

-R-Truth comes out rapping, but Vince won’t say What’s up. After a commercial, Sheldon Benjamin comes out and speaks. Benjamin says some stuff that confirms that all the writers have to be white. Stuff about education and speaking properly. The delivery wasn’t so bad. What he was saying just continued to drag down this show further.

- R Truth vs. Shelton Benjamin

Since I can’t rewind or fast forward that easily, no times this week. The good news is this match got a fair amount of time and had a chance to develop. The bad news is that it was dreadfully boring because Sheldon Benjamin on offense does not equal success. He wrestles with so little aggressiveness and passion that it’s hard for me not to tune out. The best example was this backbreaker that he executed. He put so little effort into it that it killed the match even further. R-Truth might not be technically sound sometimes, but at least he’s exciting and brings some personality forward. R-Truth wins with what JR called “The Lie Detector.” It’s just his spinkick thing.

Winner: R-Truth

-More Vince. He talks to Rey Rey. Rey Rey speaks Spanish. Teddy Long is next to Vince as Vince points out we only speak English on Smackdown. Racial overtones and now this? What did President Obama do to piss him off now?

- Alicia Fox and Michelle McCool vs. Gail Kim and Melina

Cause this is going to help the show out at this point. Melina and McCool will meet at “The Bash.” I’m sooooooooooo excited for that. Melina gets kicked in the face by McCool, and her post-show plans must now be changed. I love how Gail Kim, chick who can actually wrestle, gets jobbed out. McCool wins with the Fairthbreaker. Gim loses to the bastardized version of the Styles Clash for a third time. I really hate Vince McMahon.

-Two worst words in the English language put together at this point. More Vince. This time he talks with CM Punk. Punk gives this look at the camera as if to say “Look at this goof.” I laughed heartily at this. That redeemed this segment, even when Punk spouted the garbage about being addicted to competition. He says it in such a mocking way that I can’t even be angry anymore.

-Brief discussion of The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler  match that takes place Sunday. Again, thank God I’m not spending forty bucks on that show.

-It’s now time for the first edition of Cryme Time’s Word Up. I guess this is a new weekly segment that’s intended to be funny but isn’t. This was so mind-boggingly awful. They basically rip off Urban Dictionary by defining some word that is something resembling English but really just further bastardizes our language. Jesse interrupts and raps. Great, we have another John Cena rip-off. Where’s Vince to fire all three of these yabos?

- NON-TITLE MATCH: CM Punk © vs. John Morrison

Thank God. Very slow build before the commercial. Always appreciated since that means this is getting 15 minutes. The crowd kinda sat on their hands, but by the end they were going bonkers. Some great maneuvers here as they improved on their series of matches from 2007 ECW.  The ending was also very creative as it ended up being a series of reversals leading into Morrison holding Punk’s  shoulders together for three. Great great match that I almost enjoyed more than Morrison’s with Edge because it leaves the door wide open for these guys to do a match at the following Pay-Per-View. They didn’t even hit any of their big moves, but found a way to have a great wrestling match. Morrison is not all the way there as a babyface, but by continuing to have these kinds of matches, he’s going to be a world champion very soon. The show is saved from an abyss of suck.

Winner: CM Punk

-Punk goes to shake Morrison’s hand… and he plants with a Go 2 Sleep. He then puts his hands to his head as if to wonder what he has just done. This only leaves more doubts about whether he’ll turn or not. Honestly, I don’t think the WWE is quite sure at this point. If Mysterio and Hardy were staying for sure, I think Punk would complete this subtle turn Sunday, but I’m not quite sure at this point. He could still very easily turn, but I’d rather see them wait.

-Josh Mathews interviews Chris Jericho. He asks a dumb question about why Jericho wants to unmask Mysterio. Josh has been paying far too much attention to ECW and not enough Smackdown obviously. One final go home promo that serves its’ purpose as Jericho adds another layer by pointing out how he saved himself and wants to save Mysterio once and for all.

-JR and Tool Grisham talk about “The Bash.” Glad it’s no longer a secret. Here’s the card:

- John Cena vs. The Miz

- NO DQ Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Great Khali

- WWE Women’s Title Match: Melina © vs. Michelle McCool
- IC Title vs. Mask Match: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio
- Unified Tag Team Title Match: Carlito and Primo Colon © vs. Legacy
- ECW Title Scramble Match: Tommy Dreamer © vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry
- World Title Match: CM Punk © vs. Jeff Hardy
-WWE Title Three Stages of Hell Match: Randy Orton © vs. HHH
- (The 1st Fall is a Regular Match, The 2nd Fall is Falls Count Anywhere Match, If Needed, the 3rd Fall is a Stretcher Match.)

-The cage comes down, and here we go.

-Vince and Teddy talk to Jeff Hardy.

-Punk looks like a moron in the referee’s shirt with no pants.

- CAGE MATCH: Chris Jericho and Edge vs.  Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy

Very odd rules since you could by pinfall, submission, or one person escaping the cage. This was another really good match as the heat segment was on Mysterio. Basic tag team wrestling within the cage as Jericho and Edge work quite well together. Of course, the guest referee becomes involved as Punk gets speared by Edge after Hardy ducks. Punk sells the rib injury for the rest of the match. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate but with Punk behind him isn’t trusting enough to finish the job. Edge hits the spear on Hardy for the three count. Punk was noticeably reluctant to make the count.

Winners: Edge and Chris Jericho

Final Thoughts: Between Sheldon Benjamin’s speech, the way Vince was treating Teddy Long, and Cryme Time, that was an awfully uncomfortable first half. The Vince McMahon stuff was awfully disturbing too. I’m just so tired of his ego infesting every show he’s on. Honestly, he screeches to a halt any show he’s on. I can see the ending a mile away. Teddy keeps trying to impress, but it doesn’t matter. Teddy is going to get fired. He’s going to get humiliated. Vince will entertain himself, play the bully once again and no one else care.

Thankfully the new Smackdown six of Edge, Jericho, Punk, Hardy, Mysterio, and Morrison save the show once again in the second half. I cannot emphasize enough how awesome these six guys have been with their matches. The interviews have a little to be desired in some cases, but the match quality makes up for it. And in some cases, Jericho is so awesome that Mysterio doesn’t need to say a word to get the fans on his side.

Share This

Hello everyone. It’s time for another week of Smackdown. Last week’s show was weak sauce, but the main event this week sounds awesome. There have already been two really good television matches with Kofi/MVP from RAW and Christian/Tyson Kidd from ECW. I would highly recommend seeking these out if you have not yet seen them. Even the tag match main event from Superstars was good.  Only wish it could have aired on Smackdown, especially considering there was a pre-match promo by Jericho that could have sold a few buys. Enough babble, on with the show

Last week, Chris Jericho perpetrated a vicious attack on Rey Mysterio and was wearing one of Rey Rey’s own masks. Jeff Hardy lost to both Jericho and Edge in the main event and was assaulted after the match by Edge with a ladder. Also, C.M. Punk finally got some measure of revenge on Umaga.

-Live to tape from anywhere they darn well please…

-Your hosts are Tool Grisham and Good Ole’ J.R.

Open with the announcers talking about the main event of tonight’s show. Edge vs. Mysterio in a champion vs. champion match. Awesome. Punk will wrestle Umaga? OOOOOOOOOOOk. The world heavyweight title is hung, and there are ladders EVERYWHERE. Seriously, Home Depot’s stock went up 20% while this show was going on. Apparently, it’s time for a very special “Ladder” edition of the “The Cutting Edge.”

Edge welcomes Jeff Hardy as a guest… again. Hardy runs under the ladders since he apparently isn’t superstitious. Didn’t we do this on Superstars a few weeks ago? Guess since no one saw it, they feel justified in repeating it. But this is like putting a hat on Malibu Stacy and expecting people to think of it as something new, both the segment and the match. Hardy climbs the ladder like an idiot to have his convo with Edge. He cuts a pretty generic babyface promo, and Edge responds with a solid promo about how dangerous this match is going to be. He illustrates the climbing of the ladder but says he will continue to knock him down. Kinda like Triple H and the glass ceiling. Edge eventually climbs to the top so he can look Hardy in the face. Hardy talks about legendary the match will be and  he’s just not as interesting as Edge. Edge hits Hardy with the belt and Hardy takes a pretty safe fall. Smart move by saving the crazy shit for Sunday. Edge holds up his belt and I guess “The Cutting Edge” is over.

- John Morrison vs. Shelton Benjamin

Perhaps we can end this feud once and for all. The funniest part of this deal has been Morrison winning literally every match between the two of them. Good back-and-forth to start but the Memphis crowd that was so hot for the opening segment doesn’t much seem to be in this match. Benjamin works Morrison’s leg as part of the heat segment. Morrison comes back with an enzuguri and a stiff right hand. He’s even selling the leg injury.  Tries a highspot but this leads into a half-crab by Benjamin. Morrison takes control with a DDT before hitting The Starship Pain for the win. Okay five minute match, but this needed more time to really mean anything. However, this feud should be over now.

Time/Winner: 4:51/John Morrison

Before his match with K-Kwik, Jericho cuts a very similar promo to the one he did on Superstars. Still, it’s a good idea for one more big promo since less people watch the Thursday night show. I do need to point out that a fair amount of people have already seen Rey Rey’s face, but Jericho’s awesomeness makes me forget it for the most part. This angle has been so awesome I can allllmost forgive it. K-Kwik interrupts a Jericho promo. Didn’t care about him in 2000 when he was a tag team partner of Road Dog. Didn’t care about him 2002 as the NWA champion. Don’t care about him as rapper guy in 2009. Jericho’s glare at K-Kwik was just awesome. Asking Jericho “What’s up? was also quite hilarious. Jericho responds in kind and says he wasn’t done talking. Lord knows I’d rather hear him talk then K-Kwik rap.

-  Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth

For the record, K-Kwik was the Ohio Valley Wrestling name for R-Truth. That name is so bad, I just have to use it every time I reference him. Kwik takes the early advantage  with some early offense and a dive to the outside.  He tries another highspot and that doesn’t go too well. Dropkick send Kwik back to the outside. Back inside and Jericho has control of the match and continues to shout “What’s up?” Awesome. Kwik gets a quick roll-up and comes back with clothesline. Nice splits followed by a leg lariat. Jericho snuffs that out but misses a Lionsault. Uh-oh. Kwik almost won another quick roll-up. Back-and-forth lead into a nice Codebreaker where Jericho hit Kwik as Kwik was coming off the second rope. Good little match, and I’d almost like to see them get more time down the road since they seemed to have good chemistry. Then again, Jericho is God.

Time/Winner: 4:00/Jericho

Jericho is walking backwards up the ramp. Uh Chris, yup Rey Rey attacks him.  Things appear to calm down but the Mysterio hits a move off the ramp. Wow, that was cool. Very good segment that built to the No Holds Barred match well.

- CM Punk vs Umaga

Why they’re meeting just two days before the Pay-Per View is anyone’s guess. I just noticed they changed Umaga’s awesome theme song. That makes me sad. Punk uses some strikes and speed to take control of the big man. He hits a crossbody for two. Commercial break… ALREADY??? COME ON! Come back with Punk still in control. Umaga hits a Samoan Spike to the throat as Punk leaps to the outside. Umaga is well in control of the match now. At least Umaga is avoiding the Vulcan Nerve Pinch. He still uses a variety of restholds as the crowd gets into it for Punk. More strikes as Punk tries to come back but a kick to the head ends that. Punk with two feet into the jaw leading to a clothesline. More kicks before Umaga hits a huge move. He drags Punk into the corner and it setting it up for an ass to the face. He misses and Punk hits a knee strike. Umaga no-sells and grabs the strap. Punk takes advantage by hitting the Go 2 Sleep for the win. Good match.

Time/Winner: 8:58 aired/C.M. Punk

No one is happier to see Punk win and have good matches then me, but this means Umaga is taking the match Sunday. Then I assume he’s either going to go into a program with The Undertaker or a world title program.

Ross and Grisham preview the card in the ring again. That was one of the better ideas WWE had, putting the announcers in the ring to talk about the card. It emphasizes their importance and serves the live audience and television audience to see the matches and hear crowd reactions.

 Maria comes out in an… odd referee’s outfit. This can only mean it’s time for a Diva’s match.

- Layla El, Michelle McCool and Alicia Fox vs. Melina, Gail Kim and Eve Torres

I knew Eve and Layla’s feud wasn’t over. Melina and Michelle will be having a championship match at some point while Gail Kim is being punished for having the gall to go to TNA and be successful. Alicia Fox still has big hair. I hate play-by-play normally but especially for these matches. My not caring has a lot to do with it. I also don’t like to write “botched” or “attempted” before move either. The only benefit I see to Maria refereeing is she doesn’t have to wrestle, and she appears to be able to count to three. Not a guarantee with some of these women. I do like Melina’s matrixy move though. Lots of screaming here too. Layla El hits… something and gets a 1-2-3. WHAT? That ending makes the least possible sense. At least have Michelle or Alicia get the win to forward the angle. Stupid stupid stupid.

Time/Winners:  3:30/ Layla El, Michelle McCool and Alicia Fox

- Dolph Ziggler vs. The Great Khali

Khali is already in the ring since we’re a bit short on time. These two have a bit of a rivalry based off the last four weeks of Smackdown. Not worth a Pay-Per-View but perfectly acceptable for television. Be interesting to see if Knox interferes. Anyway, Ziggler is not off to a good start. He bails out after being dominated. JUST RUN AROUND! Fairly simple strategy since Khali is slow… physically. Khali continues to dominate, and this show has grinded to a halt. Ziggler finally gets a dropkick but is quickly thrown off and elbowed in the face. Big boot and his modified chokeslam finisher. Khali wins. What? Did not like the booking of this at all. Ziggler is the one with the potential to be a future WWE superstar. Does anyone think Khali has a chance of being anything other than a comedy mid-carder? I liked this show a whole lot, but the last two segments have been failures. What happend to Knox?

Time/Winner: 2:50/The Great Khali

They show “Hall-of-Famer” Koko B. Ware in the audience, but thankfully Rey Rey’s music hits. As much as I don’t like his music, I’d rather see an actual good wrestler then this alleged “Hall-of-Famer.” Mysterio is even a little cautious coming down the aisle as he acknowledges those in their Mysterio masks. Nice touch.

- Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

I’ve always been disappointed in the matches these two have had with each other. However, both of them have been on a roll lately as far as match quality. Match of course features a COMMERCIAL BREAK. Better early on in this case since we’ve got about 15 minutes left. Oh I’m sorry, we get another COMMERCIAL BREAK later on in the match as well. Ugh. As far as quality goes, I thought this was one of the better matches these two have ever had with one another. A lot of really nice nearfalls early and Mysterio looked the best he’s looked in a long time.  This was very close to Kidd/Christian as far as quality goes and I’d need to see both again before making a full judgment. Edge picks up a clean win after a  spear. Clean win in a match like this is always appreciated. Guess this sets up victories for both babyfaces though. Guess we’ll find out about the contract status of Hardy based on the result Sunday

Time/Winner: 12:26/Edge

Edge tries to attack Rey Rey with the ladder, but Jeff Hardy runs in with a steel chair and hits Edge. He also hits a dive by leaping over the ladder as well to get some measure of revenge. Finally, he holds the world title match.

 Final Thoughts: Minor quibbles with the booking aside, this was another really good show. Some very good wrestling could be found here, even in the first two matches. The main event was not four stars like some have been saying, but it’s great for free television. RAW was a bad show Monday, but the other three WWE shows were really good. If the writers want to focus all the attention on what happens with Monday, I say go right ahead. I’d rather watch the quality wrestling that’s on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. Big thumbs up for this week.

I’ll be back next week with another Smackdown recap and some thoughts on “Extreme Rules.”

Share This

Last week, I discussed ECW’s greatness extensively. This week, I want to talk about WWE Smackdown. Unfortunately, the show airs in the Friday night death slot. The most recent draft took three really great mid-card wrestlers from RAW and shifted them to Smackdown. C.M. Punk, Chris Jericho, and Rey Mysterio are now main eventers and major focuses of the television program. Combine them with a couple younger talents and Smackdown is now the show to watch for good storytelling and wrestling… except for the lousy diva/Cryme Time angle.

Edge has been with Smackdown for the last three years, but it feels like this guy is the franchise of the brand. It took eight years for him to become a world champion, but since then he’s won nine. Just goes to show you how worthless belts are these days. I can’t say I was an Edge until very recently. His match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania along with the subsequent feud with the dead man really turned me around to this guy. He’s become one of the rare guys that can draw real good heat and now somehow turn himself face. Edge will continue to be a big time player for this brand, and he’s got a host of rising young babyfaces to contend with.

Sadly, Jeff Hardy doesn’t ever look like he’ll be the guy. He once again lost a world title match, something that has become a pattern. Hardy is an interesting case because he’s always over with a certain segment of the audience (young girls), and actually appears to be improving in-ring wise and promo-wise. For example, Hardy has managed to carry everyone from Vladimir Kozlov to Ricky Ortiz this past Friday. Unfortunately, his contract is running out, and he might be gone from WWE by the end of the summer. So enjoy him while you can.

Punk is of course a hometown Chicago boy, so I have clear bias towards him. Incredibly, this man has been a multiple-time champion in WWE, including a world heavyweight title reign during the summer of 2008. Thanks to the move over to Friday nights, Punk is getting a chance to wrestle guys close to his size. More importantly, he’s away from people that the WWE think are their biggest stars such as John Cena, Batista, and Triple H. With his second consecutive “Money in the Bank,” Punk is a threat to win the world title at any time. Even though he did a clean job to Umaga in the opener of “Judgment Day,” look for Punk to perhaps be the top face on Smackdown for the rest of 2009, particularly if Jeff Hardy leaves the company.

Chris Jericho might be the most entertaining personality in the whole company. For the last ten years, even going back to his WCW days, this is a man who had long hair and cut promos with a squeaky voice that made him hard to really take seriously. Even though he was the first undisputed champion, Jericho was never a guy WWE seemed to trust to really carry the ball.

When Jericho returned to WWE after a three year absence, I wasn’t sure it was worth it. What could this man possibly have to prove? As he limped through the first few months and even had an intercontinental title reign, I still wasn’t quite sure how smart of a move Jericho made in coming back to wrestle. Then the feud with Shawn Michaels happened.

Anyone who has not gotten a chance to see the matches during the last year has missed out on a great deal. The feud was basically everything WWE in general hasn’t been the last few years. Exciting. Engaging. Emotional. If WWE had the good sense to stick with it a few more months, they could have blown it off at Wrestlemania 25 and made the rivalry even more epic. As it is, the feud was just very good. Jericho has a lot of freedom to book his own material and essentially write for himself. That’s why his feuds tend to make more sense and why they’re the best things on the show.

So there you have it. Just a few reasons to catch Smackdown every week, be it on Friday or on your DVR. Next week, we turn up the negativity as it’s Jerome vs. Ring of Honor.

Later.

Share This

Each week I’m going to have a general column covering a wide variety of topics in the world of professional wrestling. Thanks to my friend Matt Woronko for providing me with this column name. Matt Woronko… yes.

Every time I read the various news sites and messageboards, I get to hear about how sucky the world of professional wrestling is. The old days were better while all the new wrestlers/superstars just plain suck. Amazing how that thinking seems to apply to every generation.

Ever since the draft (and also because I’m running this here website, I’ve re-dedicated myself to catching RAW, ROH, ECW, Smackdown, and Superstars. What has shocked me most is well produced and written one of the WWE brands in particular has been. This week I want to highlight ECW. It may not be as extreme, but there is still a lot to embrace.

I know people have a bad taste in their mouth because this isn’t what ECW was originally all about. I happen to agree with many of the complaints, but if the brand’s letters didn’t add up to E-C-W, I don’t think people would be so quick to whine and complain.

Since all good brands start out at the top, let’s look at the ECW champion, Christian. I wasn’t sure WWE would give him a chance when he made his return after three years in TNA, but through sheer force of will, the man has gotten himself over to the point of being able to carry the mantle of ECW champion. It may not hold a great deal of prestige, but this is a veteran who knows what he’s doing in the ring and isn’t a walking screw-up. I honestly don’t see him in the same light as a Chris Jericho or Edge from a wrestling standpoint, but he’s a great guy to have in ECW. The old “big fish in a small pond” theory. Why bury him in mid-card feuds or get lost in the background on another brand when he can main event on another and give fans a reason to watch this television program every Tuesday.

The man Christian beat has also impressed the heck out of me too. Jack Swagger is relatively new to WWE and is a little rough around the edges, particularly on the microphone, but he’s got a tremendous presence in the ring. And the cockiness seems to come naturally to him. Swagger will likely be shifted to one of the bigger brands soon, and he’ll definitely end up being one of the cornerstones of WWE. Until then, I hope that he and Christian continue to have matches as good as the one they had at Backlash.

Some of the other ECW guys that have shown me a lot include Evan Bourne. When he was Matt Sydal in Ring of Honor, I felt like he was just another flippy-flop guy; however, in WWE he really stands out with some of his maneuvers. His mic skills aren’t all that great either, but I think he carries himself like a natural babyface who can get sympathy from the crowd. That compensates a great deal for not being able to talk.

Tyson Kidd is a great smaller heel who I hope they continue to program with Bourne due to their comparative sizes. Having Natalya Neidhart around really adds something because it gives him an added dimension. That manager who’s competent enough to be able to credibly help her man win matches. For a smaller heel, I think this is such a crucial aspect to have, and it’s something WWE rarely does anymore because for whatever the reason, managers aren’t deemed to be important. A manager adds heat to a match and since it’s a hot women, the perception of him is immediately raised because the perception in our society is that beautiful women only associate with successful men.

Perhaps one of the most surprising aspects of both ECW and WWE in general is how Finlay has become a highly popular star. This guy was a hated heel who just stiffed everyone he got in the ring with back in WCW. Finlay was not gentile, never smiled, and just liked to beat people up. Thanks to Hornswaggle, Finlay was given a chance to embrace his softer side. Say whatever you want about Vince McMahon, but he’s the only person who could have a chance at making Finlay this kind of babyface. With his “son” now being drafted to RAW, I’d like to see him return to a guy who just loves to fight. However, I think he’s a great guy to have around to work with some of the younger heels or even babyfaces.

Of course things aren’t all rosy on ECW as there are a pair of stiffs who drag the roster down slightly.

Mark Henry has been around for years and years, yet having consistently watchable matches eludes him. Even putting former legend Tony Atlas with Henry has done nothing. Vladimir Kozlov continues to squash guys… and that’s about it. Watch any match more than five minutes containing the big Russian is a chore. The only possible way I think his in-ring work could improve is by getting into a program and having a series of matches with Finlay. Otherwise, I’d prefer to send Kozlov back to Russia.

Teddy Long used to be the GM of the brand until he got a promotion back to Smackdown. Since then, WWE has had Ms. Deerintheheadlights out pretending to be in charge. Tiffany is so remarkably awful that she circles around back to being entertaining again. I highly recommend going back to the May 5 edition of the show when she announces the main event. I could not possibly believe what was coming out of her mouth. She could say “My name is Tiffany” and the only thing I’d be convinced about is this woman has more air in her head than the Good Year blimp.

To me, the person who should be the GM of the brand is Tommy Dreamer. His contract is coming up in a few weeks, and rumors have surfaced about the possibility of him not returning to WWE and possibly even retiring from the ring. I know that Vince McMahon and WWE have never been fond of any of the originals. Hell, Dreamer is basically the last original left. Why not have Dreamer hang around and serve in this capacity? He can be a link to the past while also cutting far more credible promos then say… Tiffany.

The final piece to the ECW puzzle are the announcers. Todd Grisham somehow got a promotion to Smackdown, and the former “Tough Enough” star Josh Mathews is now doing play-by-play. His partner is the brilliant Matt Stryker. These two immediately had chemistry, and they’ve become the broadcast team in the whole company. Stryker has a knack for making great pop culture references and putting guys over. Stryker comes off like a huge Jack Swagger fan, and when you’ve got one announcer gushing over you, it can only benefit Swagger’s chances of getting over with the fans… errr, WWE Universe.

ECW should continue to be a solid one hour program with their current roster. Obviously, the huge stars that WWE consider to be their moneymakers are on the other brands, but there are some young highly talented athletes and a couple older veterans that can teach the kids how to work.

Next week, I’ll talk about the WWE brand that I’ve come to enjoy even more than ECW. Here’s a hint. It ain’t RAW.

Share This