Pro Wrestling Ponderings

Tag: Jeff Hardy

I’m With Stupid 004: I Spit in the Face

by jasonsterlacci on Sep.17, 2009, under Idiot of the Week

Welcome back once again to “I’m With Stupid!” This week, I’m still coping with the fact that the feud that has fueled my ire for weeks is now dragging even more people into it. I’m almost at a loss for what to say. Almost.

TNA: You all know I’m going to start with my main source of TNA hatred, Mr. Cody Deaner. Seriously…Impact was awesome this week save for his match with Tara, which may have caused my brain to congeal. Let’s go over all the reasons why it was incredibly dumb to do this match:

1. It was an MMA match, which is always a red flag; I don’t care that Tara is training to do MMA – an inter-gender MMA match is a dumb idea and makes TNA look stupid.

2. Cody Deaner is actively competing against Knockouts. When a guy is competing against the women for the women’s title, who does it help? It’s not helping Deaner, who will likely be released this time next year due to complete apathy from the fans. It’s not helping the women; nobody is going to take the division seriously, which leads to point 3:

3. YOU’RE TRYING TO BUILD THE WOMEN’S DIVISION! Why bother if the focal point of the division is going to be a man? Are they preemptively creating the Knockout Tag Titles because they know they’re going to kill the singles title dead in a few weeks?

The only other problem I had with Impact was with Abyss and Dr. Stevie; the match has been built up for weeks, and while I expected the result, I figured it would at least be put on pay-per-view. I know some of you are scratching your heads, but seriously…a hardcore rules match would have been great.

WWE
Smackdown: What’s this? Complaints about Smackdown? Indeed, I do have a complaint about Smackdown, but it’s just one. Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with Kane and the Great Khali, even though any time the two of them interact, I want to shudder.

No, my problem with the blue show is with Drew McIntyre. Don’t get me wrong, the dude’s gonna be a star, but this whole “beat down R-Truth” thing has to go somewhere soon (and by soon, I mean this week). At this point, the match-up between the two of them is going to stink because either Truth will be buried because he can’t get it done in a match or Drew will lose in his debut and look like an idiot who’s all talk. Please, for the sake of both of them, end this.

Breaking Point: Ugh. What an awful show. Seriously, I didn’t enjoy it. I’d say I’m not going to order Hell in a Cell, but the problem is that I actually have tickets to be there live.
I’ll admit that some of the matches were in the pretty good to very good range (The US Title match, DX/Legacy, Christian/Regal, Cena/Orton), but everything else was unwatchable.

Once again, I’ll skip the Kane-Khali stuff because honestly it’s too easy to make fun of and below my level. Let’s talk about that ridiculous segment with Pat Patterson. First off, Ziggler and Morrison deserved a match. There was time for it on the card (especially if they got rid of Kane and Khali) and having them be involved in a segment with Pat Patterson was moronic. I get the idea, since Patterson was the first IC champ and the show was in his hometown of Montreal, but the entire segment just stunk the place up. Nobody really cared when Patterson came out, nobody cared about Dolph, and nobody cared when Morrison made the save. In the end, this hurt the two guys that were supposed to be helped by the segment. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dolph suddenly didn’t get his IC Title match or if Morrison quickly dropped the belt. Or both for that matter.

Of course, this wasn’t my real gripe with the show. Not by a long shot. I can’t even believe I’m mentioning The Undertaker and CM Punk as being involved in something stupid, and yet here I am. WWE needed a cop out way to get out of this match since there’s a pay-per-view in three weeks, the Undertaker hasn’t submitted to anyone not named Kurt Angle, and the show was in Montreal.

Because it’s so much fun, I’m going to list my problems:

1. Punk looked like a loser for tapping in eight minutes.

2. The restart wasn’t a bad idea in theory, but the premise was dumb. Let’s see…Taker used a move that was banned by Vickie Guerrero. Okay. That would be fine (and a great call back to some history, which I always approve of), except that Taker’s used the move multiple times without consequence since Vickie Guerrero left Smackdown. In other words, at some point, the move was unbanned. So all those past developments were forgotten by creative.

“Let’s have Teddy Long come out and say that Taker’s move is banned.”

“But it’s not any more. He’s used it.”

“Please. No one’s going to remember that he’s used it. Wrestling fans have the attention spans of goldfish.”

Before anyone complains about me being nitpicky, it’s not like it’s that hard to justify it. Hell, why not have Teddy Long just come out after the match and say that he’s following in Vickie Guerrero’s footsteps and re-banning the move? Yes, it would still be a stupid copout, but it’s a little better than what WWE did.

3. WE GET IT. THE SHOW’S IN MONTREAL. HOORAY FOR YET ANOTHER FAKE SCREWJOB!
If not for some news that came out this week, whatever idiot that thought redoing Montreal was a good idea would have won my award easily.

Raw: Right off the bat, I’ve got a problem. It’s not that I hate Batista, it’s that I want him to retire and go away. I (unfortunately) called the move to Smackdown last week amongst my friends, and I’m kicking myself for releasing the thought into the air. I guess I understand why they’re moving him; despite the usual quality of Smackdown (the Breaking Point finish notwithstanding), the ratings stink out loud. But we can forget about Matt Hardy and John Morrison coming close to main eventing shows this year. Knowing Batista, Punk will probably be out of the main event picture himself by Survivor Series.

Yes, Batista-Taker was fun in 2007. I don’t need to see the feud yet again, though. Change things up! That’s why Punk being on top this summer has been so much fun; we get main events that are new and exciting.

This Miz-Kofi stuff is really starting to annoy me. I love ‘em both, but I think with each passing week, they’re both being booked into oblivion. I’m a firm believer that midcard titles should be emphasized (because what’s the point of having them if you’re not going to use them), and with the Miz saying he’s going to go after the US title a few weeks ago, I was pumped that the belt was getting attention. Now we’re getting three minute matches. In two weeks, I’m expecting Kofi to pin the Miz in seven seconds. No lie.

Gail Kim…wow. Two weeks ago, I said that I thought Gail forgot how to wrestle. At this point, I’m convinced of it. Her match two weeks ago was far, far worse, I’ll admit, but man; what is it with her? She was great in TNA and was great in her first run with WWE; what happened since her return that has caused her to be this god-awful?

Apparently, Carlito annoyed someone, because he’s now being dragged into the Bourne/Chavo/Hornswoggle vortex of suck. I’ve really got nothing else to say about this, except maybe, finally, mercifully, this whole feud is over, since Chavo has given up. I suspect that Carlito will be taking his place.

Speaking of Carlito, what on earth happened to Primo? I feel like I haven’t seen him in weeks. Did he get released and no one told me? I think we may need to file a missing persons report or something. We can do a manhunt or call out the bloodhounds.

ECW: Zach Ryder? Really?

Really?

Stupid Person of the Week: I’ll give you one guess. Go ahead. If you said anyone besides Jeff Hardy, you’re going to share in the award with him.

Let’s see…the dude gets busted with a cornucopia of drugs in his house, so much so that he may in fact be facing fourteen years of prison. What else can you say? That kind of stupidity makes you a lock for this award.

Jeff, you can pick the award up whenever you’re out of prison. While Kurt Angle may have dodged a huge bullet this week by getting three of the four counts against him dropped or thrown out, chances are you’re going to be doing time. Maybe not the full fourteen years, but I’ve got a feeling you won’t be seen on WWE TV next year. And I’ve also got a feeling that Vince McMahon is thanking his lucky stars that Hardy didn’t get busted while he was on the roster.

That’ll do it for this week. I promise I’ll stop being so serious soon.

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World Wrestling Entertainment Presents: Armageddon 2008

by jakeziegler on Aug.26, 2009, under WWE DVD Reviews

HSBC Arena – Buffalo, NY – 12.14.08

DVD Release Date: January 13, 2009

MATCH #1: Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Hardy is the ECW Champion but his title is not on the line. Kozlov comes right at the smaller, more agile Hardy, who is able to avoid him early on and get a few shots in. Hardy gets a sunset flip for a not-near-fall. A schoolboy rollup gets two. Kozlov comes back with a back suplex and then tosses Hardy’s shoulder into the ring post twice. He goes after Hardy’s shoulder know, wearing it down. Hardy breaks a hammerlock with a chinbreaker. He gets a couple of shots in but Kozlov cuts him off with a series of headbutts to the chest for a two-count. He continues working on the left arm. Hardy comes back by snapping Kozlov’s throat off the top rope and then heading up top. He hits a double axe handle and tosses Kozlov to the floor. He slams Kozlov’s head into the ring post twice and throws him back into the ring. Hardy hits the Side Effect but Kozlov grabs the bottom rope. He signals for the Twist of Fate but Kozlov blocks it, only to eat a boot to the face. Hardy goes up to the second rope and Kozlov swats him out of the air. This time Hardy grabs the bottom rope at two. Kozlov drags Hardy out to the center of the ring and Hardy grabs a quick small package for two. Hardy goes for mounted punches in the corner, but Kozlov drops him throat first on top of the ring post! Kozlov follows with a headbutt to the chest and the Iron Curtain finishes the ECW Champion at 8:59. I actually kind of like Kozlov as a worker, and this was a pretty solid match.
Rating: **½

MATCH #2: Final Match in the WWE Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender Tournament – Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

This was the start of WWE taking the Intercontinental Title seriously for the first time in a while. Sure it was done to promote their DVD, but they’re still doing a pretty good job with the belt, so kudos. Punk beat Snitsky and Morrison to get here, while Rey got by The Miz and Kofi Kingston. Intercontinental Champion William Regal and his valet Layla are at ringside to observe the match. They announce that Punk and Kofi Kingston lost the World Tag Team Championships to John Morrison & the Miz at a house show last night in Canada. Rey and Punk start with a nice respectful handshake. Punk gets a quick rollup for two, and Rey quickly returns the favor. They trade some holds and pin covers back and forth. Rey tries an early 619 but Punk avoids it and hits a couple of armdrags. Punk tries Go 2 Sleep but Rey counters with an armdrag of his own. Rey charges at Punk but gets backdropped over the top rope, falling hard on the floor. Back in the ring it’s all Punk for several minutes. Rey escapes the Tree of Woe and hits a moonsault for two. Punk comes back with a snap powerslam for two. Rey comes back with a cross armbreaker and Punk reaches the ropes. He sends Punk to the floor and follows him out with a leap off the top rope onto Punk. Back in the ring Rey hits a seated senton and an Asai cross body block for two. Rey gets a victory roll for another two, and Punk reverses it for a near-fall of his won. Punk comes back with the running knee in the corner/bulldog combo for two. They trade some more moves as Cole busts out “Swashbuckling” in reference to Rey’s style. Punk avoids the 619 and tries Go 2 Sleep, which Rey reverses and this time hits the 619! Rey goes for the springboard splash but Punk moves, and Rey still gets a rollup for two. He tries to go up and over Punk in the corner, but Punk catches him and hits Go 2 Sleep to become the #1 Contender at 12:16. That was really good stuff and I’m thinking they can do even better.
Rating: ***¾

MATCH #3: Belfast Brawl – Finlay vs. Mark Henry

Finlay starts slugging away, and they quickly take it to the floor. He throws Henry’s face into the timekeeper’s table, but when he tries to ram Henry into the ring post the World’s Strongest Man reverses it and starts throwing Finlay around. Back in the ring Finlay avoids a splash and goes out under the ring for some weapons. Tony Atlas interferes to give Henry the advantage. Henry smashes Finlay in the face with a trash can lid. He controls the action for several minutes, but then gets too cocky and Finlay comes back by throwing a trash can into Henry’s face. Finlay then uncorks a couple of shots with the kendo stick and a modified DDT. Henry comes back with a shot to the throat. He takes Finlay down and tries a Banzai Drop and Finlay moves. Finlay tries to introduce the shillelagh but Henry kicks him down and grabs the weapon himself, but he breaks it! The kendo stick gets the same treatment. Hornswoggle goes against his father’s orders and tries to interfere, and accidentally gets knocked off the ring apron and disappears. Henry sets up Finlay in the corner and smashes a trash can up against him, and then hits him over the back with it a couple of times. He brings the steel steps into the ring and Finlay avoids getting hit with them by landing a dropkick to the knee. Hornswoggle reappears and gives Finlay a second shillelagh and he cracks Henry with it to get the pin at 9:39. That was decent, the kind of match I don’t mind seeing on free TV.
Rating: **¼

MATCH #4: Batista vs. Randy Orton

Orton tries to wear Batista down, but the Animal overpowers him. They’re starting slowly to put over how well they know each other form past history. Batista knocks Orton down, but then Orton suckers Batista over to the ropes and pulls him to the floor. Cody Rhodes and Manu attack Batista, and the referee gives them the boot! Now we’re down to a one-on-one match. Orton throws Batista back in the ring and starts working on his shoulder. Batista soon fights back and tries the Batista Bomb but Orton avoids it and hits a neckbreaker. That doesn’t last too long and Batista delivers a series of shoulders to the midsection and throws Orton to the floor. Orton is grabbing his shoulder in pain. Back in the ring Orton is able to hit the super DDT but Batista kicks out at two. It’s all Orton now, as he stomps away at Batista. Orton works over Batista’s neck, using a variety of restholds. Batista powers out and slams Orton down, and they get back to their feet at the count of four. They trade bombs and Batista wins that battle. Batista whips Orton into the corner and hits a clothesline. He goes for a powerslam but Orton avoids it, only to eat a clothesline. Batista then clotheslines Orton to the floor once again. He goes to the top rope, and Orton knocks him down and hits an impressive superplex. Batista comes back with a spinebuster for two. He goes for another Batista Bomb, but Orton avoids it. Orton tries the RKO but Batista counters to a Boss Man Slam for two. Batista goes for a Spear but Orton blocks it and hits his backbreaker for two. Orton goes for the RKO but Batista blocks it and hits a sidewalk slam for two. Back to their feet Orton hits a chinbreaker and another DDT for two. Orton sets up for the running punt but Batista counters and drives shoulders into Orton’s midsection. Batista then hits a series of mounted punches. When Orton tries to escape, Batista is able to hold on and hit the Batista Bomb for the pin at 16:41. The first half was a little dull but I really liked the second half.
Rating: ***

2008 Slammy Award Winners

Match of the Year: Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair, WrestleMania 24
Extreme Moment of the Year: Jeff Hardy
Tag Team of the Year: Miz & John Morrison
Diva of the Year: Beth Phoenix
Oh My God! Moment of the Year: CM Punk
Couple of the Year: Edge and Vickie
Superstar of the Year: Chris Jericho

I can’t really argue with any of that. Congratulations to all the winners.

MATCH #5: Santa’s Little Helper Tag Team Match – Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly & Maria vs. Maryse, Natalya, Jillian & Victoria

Mickie and Maryse start the match. They do some stuff and then Maryse tags in Natalya. Mickie follows by tagging Kelly, who gets a quick sunset flip for two. Natalya recovers and goes to work on Kelly’s arm. Jillian comes in and works on Kelly as well. Kelly makes the hot tag to Maria, who is wearing “John Nord-like boots” (thanks, Tazz). Maria makes the comeback and appears to be going for some kind of move, but Michelle roughly tags herself in and hits the Styles Clash to steal the pinfall at 4:34. Did Victoria even get tagged in?
Rating: ¼*

MATCH #6: World Heavyweight Championship Match – John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena has been the champion since 11.23.08, and this is his first defense. They fiercely lockup to start the match, and Jericho goes right to the headlock. Jericho gets the early advantage, but Cena quickly comes back with a takedown and a series of right hands. The challenger tries to regroup on the floor but Cena chases him out. Jericho attacks Cena on his way back into the ring and goes to work. Cena powers out of a chinlock with an F-U attempt, but Jericho counters to a DDT. They fight on the apron, where Cena catches Jericho off the top rope and tries another F-U. Jericho avoids this one too, and delivers a bulldog off the ring apron to the steps. Back in the ring Jericho gets a two-count. The challenger gets a few minutes of offense before Cena comes back with his flurry. He hits the You Can’t See Me and once again tries the F-U. Jericho almost counters to the Walls of Jericho, but Cena powers out and hits a belly-to-belly suplex for two. The challenger comes back with a missile dropkick for two. Cena tries the Throwback but Jericho avoids it and hits a Lionsault for two. Jericho tries a superplex but Cena blocks and hits the legdrop off the top for two. Back to their feet Cena tries another F-U and Jericho counters again, this time to a Code Breaker. Cena kicks out at two! Jericho charges at Cena, who finally connects with a big F-U. That only gets two for the champion. Jericho gets a small package out of nowhere for two. He tries an enziguiri but Cena ducks and tries the STFU, but Jericho reverses to the Walls of Jericho. Cena reverses it to the STFU and Jericho taps out at a brisk 12:43. These two have always worked well together, and while this wasn’t a classic it was energetic and fun enough. Plus I’m sure they didn’t’ want to overshadow the main event.
Rating: ***¼

MATCH #7: Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship – Edge vs. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy

Edge has been the champion since 11.23.08, and this is his first defense. Hardy goes after the champion right away, but Triple H isn’t just going to just let Hardy have all the fun. They do some three-way brawling, and the match soon spills to the floor. Hardy hits a slingshot dive onto Edge, and then gets clotheslined by Triple H. Edge and Triple H get back in the ring, and Triple H is firmly in control. Hardy rejoins them and Triple H takes control of him too. Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Edge, but Hardy breaks it up with a Whisper in the Wind. Moments later, Hardy nails Edge with the Whisper in the Wind, but from atop Triple H’s shoulders. That was neat. They’ve done a pretty good job of keeping all three guys involved without contrived spots to eliminate them. Edge nails Triple H with a Spear, and then Hardy clotheslines Edge over the ropes to the floor. The crowd is going nuts for the younger Hardy brother. Hardy hits Triple H with the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb, but Edge breaks up the pin by pulling Hardy to the floor. They brawl out there for a bit while Triple H is recovering in the ring. Hardy takes his shirt off and looks to set Edge up to go through a table, but Triple H comes out and breaks it up. The brawl continues on the floor, where Triple H tries to Pedigree Hardy through a table. Edge ends up delivering a Spear to Hardy, breaking the other table. They eventually make it back to the ring, and Triple H hits Edge with the Pedigree, and Vladimir Kozlov comes out and pulls Triple H to the floor! Matt Hardy comes out to fight Kozlov off. Jeff goes to the top rope and Kozlov pushes him down to the floor, and Matt comes at the big Russian once again. Back in the ring Edge hits Triple H with a Spear for two. The champion threatens to use a chair on the Game, but Hardy makes his way up to the apron and takes the chair from Edge and waffles him across the face with it. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Triple H knocks him down. Triple H hits Edge with the Pedigree, but Hardy has recovered and hits Edge with the Swanton to steal the pin and win his first WWE Championship at 17:19. That was a very creative three-way match, with some creative ways to get two guys into a one-on-one situation. I really like the finish, and Jeff Hardy definitely deserved to finally win the big one.
Rating: ****

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Summerslam Review

by Jerome Cusson on Aug.25, 2009, under WWE Pay-Per-View Reviews

-Video package showing D-Generation X mocking the montage of matches. This is how you open the second biggest Pay-Per-View of the year? Comedy. No buys. Three world title matches and these goofs are in the video package.

-Your hosts are six former Ring of Honor wrestlers that got raided by WWE.

-Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler starts out hot and heavy before Mysterio kicks and punches his back. Ziggler immediately starts going for covers. Considering he’s going for the belt, that actually makes sense. Nice moonsault by Mysterio. Hurancanrana from the apron to the floor. I’m now wondering where the hell Maria is. Didn’t they make a big deal of her presence? Bucklebomb by Ziggler, thus eliminating that from Tyler Black’s repertoire when he signs with WWE. Ziggler chinlock followed by a side suplex. Mysterio with a drop toehold only gives him the advantage momentarily. Right back to the chinlock, little modified this time. I’m sorry, but did I just turn on a Randy Orton match? Ziggler misses a Stinger Splash and Mysterio hits a seated senton. Sunset flip is reversed into a big kick by Rey Rey. Ziggler gets a good shot on the abomen and almost wins with a roll-up. Rey Rey just won’t die. Story of this match is similar to “Night of Champions,” but it’s slightly better. Kick to the temple by Rey Rey but Ziggler dodges the 619. 619? There goes the 61knee of Brent Albright when he signs with WWE. Right leg drop gets two for Ziggler. Mysterio almost wins on a roll-up of his own. Ziggler’s bodyslam attempt turns into a DDT for a two count. Dropkick into the 619 position. He hits it… but misses the Springboard. Ziggler gets 2.999999998. Stupid Los Angeles crowd chants for Ziggler. God, I hate Los Angeles. Ziggler kicks Rey Rey and goes to the second rope. Hurancanrana from the position ends Dolph’s night, Great opener.

Winner/Time/Rating: STILL Intercontinental Champion- Rey Mysterio/13:26/***1/2

-Ziggler is just getting better and better. You could see so much improvement, even in the last month. Ziggler will hopefully go over and be the champion by the end of the year, but I think it’s a positive to have Rey Rey hold the belt for a bit to establish a longish title reign.

-Josh Mathews interviews both MVP and Jack Swagger. This was somewhat unique. It’s a culture clash, and this was the interview that should have been done on Monday instead of having a lame 30 second match. Interviews six days before a Pay-Per-View work better then crappy matches. MVP’s delivery is probably the strongest it’s ever been for a babyface.

-Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Crowd is deadly silent to start. God, I hate Los Angeles. Side suplex by MVP but Swagger departs. MVP dives to the outside. Swagger throws MVP off the second rope and begins working over the back of MVP. MVP hits an elbow, but this only leads to an abdominal stretch. This match really should have opened the show cause the crowd could not possibly care less about what’s happening in the ring. Clothesline by Swagger gets a two. Camel Clutch. Trying make MVP humble there Swagger? MVP lifts him and slams him right on his back. Swagger misses rights, but MVP hits. Kneedrop. Time to go ballin’. Hooks the leg but doesn’t get two.Playmaker attempt is reversed into a roll-up. Tights held by Swagger but no diceSecond rope Vader bomb gets knees. Big boot by MVP. Playmaker. 1-2-3. If they wanted this feud to go on, this is an awful terrible way to start it. Even so, this match didn’t get near enough time to develop and the dead crowd certainly doesn’t help. Plus, Swagger is the better wrestler, and WWE desperately need new heels on RAW. They need faces too, but they desperately need new people on top as heels. Smackdown has done an excellent job with Punk, but RAW? Bad.

Winner/Time/Rating: MVP/6:24/*1/2

-A look back at the various guest hosts. Sure, let’s watch the various failures again.

-Nancy O’Dell is on camera now. I really really really want to make jokes, but she’s there for a good cause. Her mom unfortunately passed from ALS, and she’s helping to raise money along with WWE. The Los Angeles crowd boos this. Appalling. I hate Los Angeles. She interviews Freddie Prinze Jr. I’m surprised WWE didn’t ask him to remove the Jr.

-Chris Jericho and Big Show come out for their unified tag team title match. We even get a promo from Jericho. He calls all the celebrities hypocrites and parasites. Guess he forgot his thesaurus. He talks about how famous he and Show are. Someone needs to figure out this 40 title thing. Jericho calls himself the best in the world, thus eliminating Bryan Danielson from using that catchphrase when gets signed by WWE… What? He signed? Oh. Big Show is about to talk, but the spiteful sound guy plays Cryme Time’s music.

-Unifed Tag Team Championship Match: Chris Jericho and Big Show (champions) vs. Cryme Tyme (Shad and JTG)

Loud “Y2J” chants showing how over Cryme Tyme truly are. JTG and Jericho start and continue the goodness that started with their Smackdown match a few weeks ago.Walls of Jericho attempt but he turned into a slingshot. JTG then hits a sitdown senton for two. Grisham saying “flava” was a fail. Punch to the face and Show gets tagged in. He just stands on the leg of JTG. Man, did this match get boring in a hurry. Crowd died considerably too. Shad finally gets tagged in, and it’s at least a little bit more even. Shad lifts Jericho in the air and drops him. Show spears him in response. Now Shad is thug-in-peril. Jericho back in and he toys around with Shad. Big boot by Shad but as he’s about to tag, Jericho and Show cut the ring in half. Full nelson now. The hell year is this? 1987. Where’s Hercules? Jericho misses an elbow but prevents a tag with a double axehandle. Chinlock by Jericho. Both rise and Jericho is powerslammed. JTG is finally tagged in. Pace picks back up and a mugshot is hit. Modified facebuster. Big Show interrupts a cover but Shad clotheslines him. Roll-up on Jericho gets two. Jericho comes back and applies Walls of Jericho.JTG gets the ropes but Show punches him in the face. Jericho hooks the leg for three and they retain.

This match was decent when JTG and Jericho were in the ring together. Otherwise, this was nothing special. Show absolutely dragged this match down, and it’s time for this experiment to end. Jericho was having match of the year candidates with Rey Rey two months ago and now he’s wrestling Cryme Tyme at the second biggest Pay-Per-View of the year? No buys. Even seeing him both brands isn’t worth it, cause Big Slow is sure to follow.

Winner/Time/Rating: STILL Unified Tag Team Champions- Chris Jericho and The Big Show/9:45/**1/4

-Breaking Point promo. Well, the idea of the main events ending in submissions should be good for a laugh if nothing else.

-C.M. Punk interview. Greatest words you can possibly hear these days. Punk shows a screenplay about Jeff Hardy. Very creative. He calls himself the only real person and makes fun of the Twilight guy and Kate Gosselin. Fucking awesome.

Kane vs. The Great Khali

Highlight of this match is a sign that says “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE.” Kane wins with the DDT after five hours. That’s all this bullshit gets.

Winner/Time/Rating: Kane/5:57/-*

-They show a bunch of celebrities, including Robert Patrick. I kinda wish this show could get terminated at this point. Okay, that’s not fair since the show hasn’t been that bad. I really just wanted to make the joke.

-Long video package building up The Legacy/D-X match. So glad I fast-forwarded.

-D-X gets a ridiculously over-the-top entrance. I mean, even The Undertaker was telling them to cool it. Also, if you gave me that entrance, I’d get over too.I actually timed their entrance since it was so ridiculous. From the time the music started until the end of their promo, SEVEN MINUTES AND THIRTY-FIVE SECONDS. This does not even include the ridiculously long video package that went about five minutes too. Keep that in mind for later. Dibiase and Rhodes just walk out to the ring, thus looking like total jobbers.

-D-Generation X (Shawn Michaels and Triple H) vs. Legacy (Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes)

I’m dreading this match for a lot of reasons. See the Spirit Squad as Exhibit A. Hunter and Dibiase start things off. Exchange of right hands. Hunter hits a trademark knee, but not before using a crotch chop. Rhodes is tagged in and gets a high knee. Dibiase slaps Shawn. Well, that wasn’t very Christian of him. HBK tags in. He locks in with Rhodes, and Rhodes ends up slapping Michaels. This is off to a fairly good start. Michaels gets a Thesz Press and just punches him. Then a slap. Superkick set-up but Rhodes runs. Hunter send him back. Rhodes leaves. Legacy hangs out on the outside. Michaels goes to work with chops in Dibiase. Dibiase sends him flailing in the corner, then a lariat, thus eliminating Nigel McGuinness from using that move when he signs with WWE. Michaels is now a degenerate in peril. Crowd is chanting… “Suck it?” Neckbreaker by Michaels and a tag to Triple H. Right hands. Hunter gets slingshotted by Dibiase. No sold. Spinebuster on both members of Legacy. Pedigree stopped by Rhodes. All four men in briefly before Rhodes sent out. Hunter backdrops his partner over the top. Dibiase gets a ballshot. Hunter is now degenerate in peril. Rhodes and Dibiase go to work and actually offense in. Frequent tags made. Dibiase shows he’s learning from Orton since he uses the chinlock. Crowd gets back into it. Belly to back suplex by Hunter, but Dibiase gets a tag to Rhodes. Rhodes , who has looked the best he ever has in the ring, continues working on Hunter’s legs. Hunter counters out of it. Dibiase makes sure a tag is not made. Hunter and Dibiase get into a fist battle. After being thrown over the top rope, we’ve got duel tags. Michaels takes Rhodes out like he owns him. Michaels does the kip up, but Dibiase clotheslines him from behind. Hunter goes after Dibiase on the outside of the ring as Rhodes climbs up to the top rope. He tries to steal a flying elbow. Emphasis on try. Michaels goes up, but Rhodes knocks him off the top rope. Both men on the top rope. Michaels knocks him down. Elbow by Michaels is countered by the knees. Rhodes wants a tag but Dibiase is nowhere to ne found. Figure four by Michaels. There’s Dibiase. He ends the figure four. Pedigree attempt. Rhodes stops it. Lawler can’t believe Legacy has all these counters. Considering every major match is readily available on DVD, it’s not that difficult to figure out. Rhodes hits a crossroads (neckbreaker), but Triple H stops it. Pedigree. Dream Streets. Clothesline by Hunter. Now he and Dibiase end up on the outside and brawl over the announce table. Rhodes and Michaels are being counted out inside the ring. There’s the superkick and a three count. They had me for a second there. I thought WWE was about to show some guts and put Legacy over. But of course D-X gets over. Gotta get those merch sales. It really was a good match, but anyone who thinks the right team went over should consider themselves the biggest marks ever. And I mean that in the worst way possible.

Winner/Time/Rating: Shawn Michaels and Triple H/19:59/***1/4

-ECW Championship Match: Christian (champion) vs. William Regal

Josh Mathews apparently borrowed a picnic table table cloth to use as a shirt. Before I can even make the timemark, Christian wins with the killswitch in five seconds. Then Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov immediately beat up Christian followed by Regal hooking in the STF. Fuck you WWE. This was some dumb bullshit. WWE gives 13 minutes to D-X in video packages and entrances, another 20 to a match where the winner is never in doubt, but they can’t give these guys even eight minutes.

Winner/Time/Rating: Christian/:05/N/R

Someone e-mail me the name of the people at the Peace Corps. Some palms need to be greased on behalf of one Bryan Danielson to insure he doesn’t get stuck in garbage like this. I’d rather not see him then see what happened to Regal and Christian happen to Danielson.

WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton (champion) vs. John Cena

Considering who’s involved, it doesn’t look like a four star match is happening. Crowd splits about 50/50 for each guy. Orton controls the early portion of this match but Cena quickly comes back with a flurry. Elbow by Orton. “RKO” chants. Orton works Cena over with his usual exciting i.e. boring offense. I’ve never been a fan of Orton. Ever. And after six years in WWE, I just don’t see it happening. Backbreaker (or Freddie Prinze Jr. killer) before the chinlock. Dueling chants. The hell is this, TNA? Is Russo going to start booking now?

Cena makes things a little more palpable with a modified suplex. He goes for the five knuckle shuffle and actually hits it. He prepares for the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton belly-to-belly suplexes him. He misses a knee drop. Cena dives after Orton but lands on the outside. Kick and the DDT as Cena tries to come back in. Two count. Orton prepares to strike. He pounds the mat a bunch of times because I guess that makes him a better worker. Punt attempt fails. Cena comes back with a legdrop from the second rope. Another two count. As he prepares for the AA once again, Orton holds the ropes and clotheslines him. Exchange of right hands while the crowd does the yay/boo thing. Least this match has heat. Back bodydrop. Orton just pushes the referee for a disqualification. Lillian Garcia fucks up the announcement and calls him the new champion. She says Vince wants the match re-started and if Orton is disqualified again, he loses the belt.

Orton back inside the ring and he gets side suplexed. Cena throws him into the corner and to the outside. Orton rams Cena into the stairs and puts him back in the ring. He insists on covering Cena, and Cena insists on not staying down. Orton goes outside and gets the belt. Count-out. Of course, the match gets started once again by Vince McMahon. If Orton gets counted out again, he will lose the championship.

Cena and Orton try to go for various finishers. Orton then gets a roll-up with his feet on the ropes for a three count. Another referee sprints into the ring. Guess what? Match starts again. Vince Russo really is booking. Why do I make these jokes?

Cena hooks an STF. Orton hangs on. Cena re-positions himself when a “fan” runs in. It’s Brett Dibiase but the announcers don’t acknowledge it so I guess it will come off as real. This is the dumbest match ever. Orton hits an RKO on the ropes, then an RKO in the ring, Finally, it’s over.

I don’t even know what to say. This was one of the dumbest, most poorly booked matches ever. After the disqualification and count-out, this was at least somewhat acceptable. Then they have the whole foot on the ropes pinned and then a “fan” running in. Forget the fact that having a plant run just encourages others to do the same. Unless there’s going to be a payoff, then this was useless. Dumb dumb dumb. Even worse than the match starting over three times was the fact that John Cena looked like the biggest idiot and geek ever.

Endings like these are why people would rather pay 50 bucks for a UFC show rather than 40 bucks for a WWE show.

Winner/Time/Rating: Randy Orton/19:59/DUD

TLC World Heavyweight Championship Match: Jeff Hardy (champion) vs. C.M. Punk

Punk not only needs to win the match, but he’s got to also save the show. Good luck Punker. Pretty basic lock-up. Punk aggressively hits knees, rights, and kicks. Punk introduces a chair and hits him in the stomach. Shot to the back. Punk goes on the inside with the ladder. Hardy stops him, goes for the twist of fate, gets countered, and ends up beating him down in the corner. Punk sent outside now as Hardy sets the ladder up. He heads upstairs, but Punk kicks the ladder out from underneath him. Go 2 Sleep attempt leads to Punk being rammed into the ladder. Hardy charges Punk in the corner, but he gets dropped on to a steel chair. Punk grabs the ladder now and hits Hardy with it. More usage of the ladder. Punk kicks him and deposits him outside. Dive between the top two ropes. Table set up on the outside. Punk has the chair. He puts his neck, but Hardy wants no part of that. Instead we get Punk missing a chairshot and hitting the post. Punk about to get rammed into the stairs, but he climbs them up. Hardy has a chair ready. Hardy moves furniture and throws another chair. Punk is set up on a table as Hardy splashes… and misses badly. Ow. Bet he’s glad he’s taking time off after that bump. Punk carries another ladder into the ring.

Punk climbs up the ladder, but Hardy follows and almost gains possession of the belt. Punk with a Go 2 Sleep attempt on the ladder doesn’t work as Hardy reverses it into a powerbomb. Hardy climbs the ladder gingerly, but Punk pushes him off. Another nasty bump as Punk hits the turnbuckles legs first. Suplex attempt from the top. Another ouch as Hardy is rammed on to the ladder. Punk doesn’t look much better either. Hardy hits a twist of fate, but he hits the knees of Punk. These guys are having a match that no one else has even touched all night. Bulldog… WOW. Hardy tosses Punk on the bulldog attempt right through a table. Oh my. Both guys look the worse for wear. Hardy sets up the gigantic ladder while Punk slowly climbs up the ropes. Springboard clothesline by Punk. Hardy thrown outside again as Punk takes a steel chair. Like a noose around the neck, Hardy almost gets rammed into the stairs. Hardy stops this and hits Punk with a chair of his own three times. Another table set up . Now Hardy is clearing the ring announce table and gives Punk a good monitor shot. Chairshot to the head. Hardy grabs another huge ladder to set up for a dive through the announce table. He takes off his shirt for a cheap pop. Referees hold the ladder at least. Yeah, it’s kind of stupid, but considering what might happen if Hardy falls off the ladder, I’ll take my chances. Hardy jumps and does indeed put Punk through the table. Incredible. Medical folks come out to check on both guys. They try to put Hardy on a stretcher, but he refuses. Punk can’t even climb the ladder. He sees Hardy and limps up the ladder. Both men at the top of the ladder now. Each men gets their hands on the belt. Punk gets one good right hand and it’s over. CM PUNK WINS THE MAIN EVENT OF SUMMERSLAM!!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!! Pardon me while I get a Pepsi to celebrate.

Winner/Time/Rating: C.M. Punk/21:35/****1/4

-We’re not done yet. Punk celebrates over Hardy until… the lights go out. The Undertaker is ready to make his return. Punk doesn’t seem scared. UNTIL UNDERTAKER COMES FROM UNDER THE RING. CHOKESLAM. Sending the crowd happy is all well and good, but you could have just had the bong and brought back ‘Taker on television so Punk could celebrate.

Final Thoughts: Congratulations to Punk and Hardy for saving Summerslam. This was a thumbs down show until the main event. Thanks to their effort, I give this show a thumbs in the middle. I’d recommend going out of your to see that match and the opener. The RAW portion of this show hurt the show a lot, but that should come as no surprise. Orton and Cena may not have technically been a DUD, but the booking did a lot of the work. Just a horrible way to end a world title match for the Wrestlemania of the summer. Christian and Regal could have had a nice three star match if they had ten minutes, but Kane and Khali has to settle their precious feud. In fact, Kofi and Miz could have been on this show as a way of pushing new talent. But that would require the creative team to be… creative.

Thumbs in the middle for Summerslam, but I just don’t know about WWE sometimes.

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CM Punk: Better Than You, Me, and anyone in WWE

by kevinford on Aug.12, 2009, under Uncategorized

CM Punk made his WWE (technically ECW, but work with me here) debut on August 1st, 2006 in the Hammerstein Ballroom competing against ECW Original Justin Credible. The reaction for Punk was astonishing, as the ballroom greeted Punk with cheers, chants, and all sorts of fanfare that a debuting wrestler never gets. This fanfare was the result of a couple factors. First off, WWE had done a tremendous job of building Punk’s character on television. For months now, Punk had cut promos around the 30 second mark telling people that he was a master of many fighting styles such as Jiu-Jitsu, Muy-Thai, etc. as well as informing the fans of his straight-edge lifestyle. While he didn’t preach this in his promos, he most certainly let us know that competition was his addiction.

The second reason was of course CM Punk’s tremendous history on the independent circuit most notably in IWA: Mid-South and of course Ring of Honor. CM Punk became known in the early 2000’s in IWA for his mic work, his matches with Chris Hero, his partnership with Colt Cabana, and for being somewhat of an unpleasant person both in regards to how the fans perceived him, and how the “boys in the back” perceived him. Regardless, you couldn’t argue his talent which is why he was picked up by Ring of Honor in October of 2002. He started off a face in a friendly rivalry with Colt Cabana, which while entertaining didn’t put a spotlight on him like you would expect. Then Raven stepped in and it became a whole new ball game. Punk began spewing his straight-edge lifestyle as if it were the gospel. Raven played the perfect foe to Punk with his sordid un-clean lifestyle being made very aware to the “smart” fans who attend(ed) Ring of Honor shows. Mostly competing in hardcore type matches, CM Punk moved on from the feud in the upper-echelon of Ring of Honor. He cemented his name there when he gave Christopher Daniels, a guy who main evented the first Ring of Honor show, the Pepsi Plunge from off the top rope through a table. Daniels wouldn’t be seen in Ring of Honor for a year and a half after that.

Punk’s success picked up with a small feud with AJ Styles in regards to the new ROH Pure Championship. Although Punk ultimately lost, he tasted gold for the first time soon after when he and Colt Cabana won the Ring of Honor tag team titles on ROH’s debut show in Chicago Ridge, IL. Punk began opening the eyes of the wrestling world soon after for two reasons: 1) His feud with wrestling legend Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and 2) His three astonishing ROH World Title matches against Samoa Joe. Because of this, it wasn’t too long until the WWE finally came knockin’. In Summer of 2005, rumors began swirling that WWE and TNA had offered contracts to three of Ring of Honor’s top dogs: CM Punk, Samoa Joe, and Bryan Danielson. Joe took the contract with TNA which meant he’d still be able to compete for Ring of Honor. Danielson chose neither, and spent the summer off to take a break and reengage in scholastic activities. Punk obviously chose the WWE, which is why no one expected that CM Punk would win the Ring of Honor title before he left. But he did. On June 18th, 2005 CM Punk defeated then Ring of Honor World champion Austin Aries to become the fifth champion in the company’s history. And thus began the best angle Ring of Honor has run.

Although it is only seven shows long, “The Summer of Punk” is widely regarded as one of, if not the best period in the company’s history. Punk changed his attitude becoming a WWE lackey. Punk went as far as to sign his WWE contract as it sat on top of his Ring of Honor title. What would happen? Would Punk take the belt with him to WWE? If not, who would beat him? ROH threw many different challengers his way, including one Christopher Daniels who returned at this time to exact a measure of revenge on the man who took him out of Ring of Honor back in January of 2004. It surprised fans that James Gibson, who also had been recently rumored to have signed with WWE, defeated him in a Four Corners Elimination match on August 12th, 2005. On August 13th, CM Punk had his final ROH match against Colt Cabana. It was 2 out of 3 falls, and Colt was able to score the upset. Although Punk cried and all the wrestlers and fans celebrated with showers of Pepsi, they all knew Punk was off to greener pastures.

Punk came in and really didn’t do too much of note for about his first year. He teamed with DX and the Hardys at the Survivor Series which took place in Ring of Honor’s hometown of Philadelphia, PA. He wrestled in Money in the Bank, and finally won his first WWE title when he defeated John Morrison for the ECW Championship on an episode of ECW on Sci-Fi in September 2007. Punk would hold the belt for a few months eventually losing to Chavo Guerrero the week before the Royal Rumble in Charlottesville, VA (a show I was in attendance for). Punk won the World Heavyweight Championship in summer of 2008, then won the World Tag Team Title and Intercontinental Titles soon after. Still, with all these accomplishments, CM Punk didn’t really arrive to the WWE until July 31, 2009.

That night, Jeff Hardy, who had just defeated CM Punk to recapture the World Heavyweight Championship the previous Sunday, put the title on the line against John Morrison in an incredible match. CM Punk came out, and patted John Morrison on the back as he headed down the aisle. He grabs the microphone, says very few words, and then bashes Jeff right in the head. For weeks now, Punk had been teasing his heel turn, by beginning to spout his straight-edge rhetoric in the WWE, most notably a promo at Night of Champions in Philadelphia, PA right before he lost the World Heavyweight Championship. But tonight was the night. Punk tossed Jeff to the floor and wasted no time following up. After a vicious attack on Jeff, it was clear that CM Punk had arrived.

The next week, Punk opened up Smackdown! with a promo explaining his actions and once again talking about his ideology. Jeff came out for their title match, which escalated quickly and was screeched to a halt. Later that night the match took place with Matt Hardy as the Special Enforcer. Matt cost Punk the match, and once again Punk struck Jeff tossing him into the steel steps. But the best heel stuff Punk does, is the little things. For example, the pat on Morrison’s back before he came down to attack Jeff the week before was such a great, slimey heel tactic. I also loved how Punk made the EMT’s go the long way around the ring to get to Jeff, causing Jeff to lay in pain even longer. Punk’s reaction to Teddy Long signing him to a TLC match for Summerslam was perfect, and the fans are gobbling up every piece of it.

Even though Punk has been a former World Tag Team Champion, Intercontinental Champion, ECW Champion, and two time World Heavyweight Champion, he has just now arrived in the WWE. The CM Punk that the Hammerstein fans were clamoring for back on August 1, 2006 has finally made his presence known in the WWE. Even though Punk has his fingerprints all over the WWE’s history for the past three years, his impact now will be far more substantial. We all know what Punk is capable of with the character he is portraying now, and I think he’ll be the top heel in the company for years to come. With Edge out of the picture, and Jericho embroiled in his tag team with The Big Show, Punk now stands as the top heel on Smackdown! and rightfully deserves the World Heavyweight Championship to give his push more value. I say Punk defeats the fans hero Jeff Hardy at Summerslam and we see 2009 close as the true Summer of Punk.

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Night of Champions Review

by Jerome Cusson on Jul.27, 2009, under WWE Pay-Per-View Reviews

-Well, it’s time for another WWE Pay-Per-View. It’s the one night a year when all the championships are on the line. I’m not quite sure why a wrestling company would be proud of the fact that they have EIGHT title belts, but the WWE sure is. This card doesn’t look all that enticing but after Victory Road last week, I can almost guarantee this will be worlds better.

-Live from the same city Dragon Gate USA was taped the night before…

-Your hosts are Scooby-Doo, Fred, Welma, Daphne, Shaggy, and Scrappy

- Unified Tag Team Title Match: Chris Jericho and ???? © vs. Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes

Oooo, this isn’t good. This eliminates Dolph since he has to wrestle later on against Rey Rey. Jericho comes out to a rather large pop and it’s teased that he couldn’t find a partner. Oh God. Our first video package of the night as we see Edge’s injury. Do we really need to see that again? Even better is Jericho’s choice for a partner. The Big Show. What a fail to start this show.

- Unified Tag Team Title Match: Chris Jericho and The Big Show © vs. Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes

Show has a new singlet. Too bad he likely won’t have a new moveset. Show starts off against Rhodes and that goes as well as you might expect. Egads what a chop. Dibiase comes in and also doesn’t do very well. Jericho is tagged in and we see our first double team move. Crowd is absolutely silent for all of this. This is what happens when you have two heel tag teams starting the show off. Show almost kills Jericho by dropping him on DIbiase. Dibiase and Rhodes finally get the advantage when Dibiase pulls the top rope and Jericho flails over. They work him over a bit, but I think the problem is Legacy has been treated like such geeks that there is no credibility with the audience. Crowd appears to be behind Jericho and Show by default. Rhodes even breaks out a moonsault!!!! Wow, that was mildly interesting. The heat segment lasts seemingly forever although it’s the best Rhodes and Dibiase have looked in months. At least they managed to get some heat on their opponents. That lasts until Show gets tagged in. Spear gets a long two count. Rhodes is tossed but skins the cat. Dibiase dropkick but he suffers a Codebreaker. Show gets the Colossal Clutch for the submission.

-Time/Winner/Rating: 9:33/STILL Unified Tag Team Champions- Chris Jericho and The Big Show/**1/2

This was an alright match. Jericho really made this match as watchable as it was going to be. The pick of Show is a major disappointment. While he may at least wrestle mostly in tag matches, he also has the potential of wrestling on multiple brands. Very scary thought to be certain.

-Josh Mathews is in the back and brings in C.M. Punk. Punk then cuts one of the biggest promos of his entire career as he runs down the fans for their support of Jeff Hardy. He absolutely owned that audience for this segment. The only critique I have is this should have been on Smackdown Friday instead of the Pay-Per-View. Still this was excellent and adds a lot of interest (at least for me) to the world heavyweight championship match.

- ECW Title Match: Tommy Dreamer © vs. Christian

Guess that interview was a little too exciting since it’s back down the ladder we go. Even in Philadelphia, Dreamer can’t get a decent crowd reaction. Also, despite Christian being on the ECW brand, he still gets a pretty big star reaction. Slaps to start followed by a little back and forth. Christian takes over briefly as a smattering of “ECW” chants break out. Christian misses a dive to the outside as Dreamer then cannonballs his opponent. After a two count, Dreamer hits a powerslam. Christian comes back and starts working on the neck. He goes for the KIllswitch. That’s reversed but Christian then applies a sleeper. Dreamer does the old Vader/Cactus Jack spot, but Christian tenaciously locks the sleeper on again. This time both men end up on the outside of the ring. Christian misses an axehandler and is facebustered. Dreamer sets Christian in the tree of woe and gets the dropkick. Reverse DDT and a missile dropkick by Christian. He missed whatever from the top and Dreamer applies a terrible-looking Cloeverleaf. Series of pinning reversals before another dropkick. Both then go for their finishers. Christian gets the Killswitch at least for the 1-2-3.

-Time/Winner/Rating: 9:31/NEW ECW Champion- Christian/**

-Nothing special her, but Dreamer was just an atrocious champion. I’m very glad Christian is the ECW champion. Unfortunately, he’s now got the unenviable task of wrestling Kozlov. If he carries that lump to a good match, he’s the wrestler of the year for 2009.

-Dreamer and Christian share a moment.

-Summerslam commercial as they show all the stars of the company. Interesting to note Jeff Hardy is one of those featured.

-Tool Grisham interviews the Unified Tag Team Champions. This relationship is all about business. Jericho mentions Edge’s name again. That feud will be epic when it happens next year. Jericho needs to keep mentioning Edge’s name and keep the heat alive.

- US Title Six Pack Challenge Match: Kofi Kingston © vs. The Big Show vs. MVP vs. The Miz vs. Carlito vs. Jack Swagger

Lillian Garcia doesn’t royally screw up the rules at least. I also like how Show completely buried all of his opponents and is now not even in the match. Way to completely bury the United States. title. Least the match will be better. I’m not even going to try and describe all the action as all six men are just going at it in the ring. Things do settle down a bit as Primo takes some amount of control. He actually looks quite good until a Gutwrench powerbomb b y Swagger. MVP and Swagger continue their ongoing rivalry with some brawling. Nice dive by Carlito onto MVP. Kofi gets Swagger one-on-one momentarily, but Miz  goes after both men. Four men then do the required suplex/powerbomb spot that comes off as being very contrived. More brawling between the six men. Finally, we get Carlito and Kofi in the ring. Then Primo interjects himself. These three have a hell of a sequence with some nearfalls. Carlito and Primo begin double-teaming, but Swagger clotheslines both men. MVP takes control. Miz stops that in short order. The Colon Brothers work… nope, Carlito turns on his brother. Kofi finally gets Trouble in Paradise for a 1-2-3.

-Time/Winner/Rating: 8:37/STILL United States champion- Kofi Kingston/**3/4

This was an okay match, but I would have preferred to see two of these guys get cut so it could just be four guys instead of six. There was almost too much action to keep track of, but at least the action was good. It’d also be nice to see these six guys get elevated since these six being paired off in television feuds could provide a great deal of freshness to RAW. It’s amazing how sucky RAW has been the last couple months, but the reality is these six guys and Evan Bourne can inject life to this very stale show. Enough Hunter, Orton, Cena, Hornswaggle, and even Santino every single week. More Kofi, Miz, Swagger, and Bourne.

-Josh Mathews interviews Randy Orton. He says stuff. I zone out.

-WWE Women’s Title Match: Michelle McCool © vs. Melina

I thought this show was going to come to a complete halt with this match. I was wrong. Michelle immediately hits a dropkick on Melina while she’s doing her splits thing. Well, that’s a star right there and this is right away better than Jenna and Sharmell. Melina gets a little too fancy with some attempted maneuvers, but both of these girls at least are working hard. Melina misses a move on the second rope and ends up on the floor. McCool takes advantage as Melina gets to do the one thing she excels at. Selling. McCool hooks a half crab. McCool and Melina somehow end up on the security wall. Nasty-looking DDT by McCool. Damn, Melina’s head bounced. Melina comes back with screams and uses her leg strength. This is followed by a dive. Drop toehold on the second rope followed by a two knees by Melina. These two girls are really beating the tar out of each other. McCool gets a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Spear into the corner but Melina heel chops, dives, but McCool reverse into a roll-up for the three.

-Time/Winner/Rating: 6:13/STILL Women’s Champion- Michelle McCool/**3/4

-That rating is not a typo. This was probably one of the most enjoyable women’s matches I’ve ever seen from the WWE. It was physical and these two girls tried to do some different things. It wasn’t exactly pretty all the time, but I’ll give them points for trying. Also, you got the sense that these two girls really hated each other, and there was an heir of intensity that 99% of these women’s matches don’t have. Big surprise here.

- WWE Title Match: Randy Orton © vs. HHH vs. John Cena

An epicly long video package sets this match up. Then we get the longest entrances in the history of match. There’s 15 minutes right there that could have been used to give more time to some of the earlier matches. The other galling part of this match is the build-up actually included mention of this match taking place at Wrestlemania 24. Two years ago is forever in this era of television. Yet here these three are wrestling again. Orton leaves the ring, but the faces go after him. Chase is on inside the ring as well.  Faces work well together early as Orton can’t get any sort of advantage.  Finally, Orton knocks Cena to the outside off the apron onto Triple H. Orton brings Cena into the ring and goes to work. Cena comes back but as he’s about to finish the match, Hunter send Cena out. Orton gains the advantage once again. The heat just immediately dies. I mean absolutely leaves the building. Orton and Triple H have their usual sequence, and you can just tell that people are burned out. Oh lovely.  A chinlock by Orton. That will help the match quality out. The two punch back and forth and Orton hits a scoop slam. As he’s ready to hit the RKO, Hunter send him into the corner before hitting the DDT. Both struggle to get up. Cena climbs to the top rope and legdrops both men… barely.

Cena fires away but falls to a neckbreaker. Back to the outside goes Cena. Triple H tries a pedigree, but he’s also deposited to the outside as well. Cena climbs in and gets kicked in the chest. As Orton is about to DDT both men, he’s sent to the outside. Cena and Hunter glare at each other. They clash like two titans. We even get the whole “yay” “boo” thing. They counter through their usual including their finishers. Hunter takes definitive control with a spinbuster. Pedigree finally gets hit, but Orton pulls Triple H out of the ring. After being sent into the stairs, Orton gets the Smackdown announce table ready for usage. All three end up around the table. Orton is sent flying into the crowd. Cena hooks the STF ON THE TABLE (cause it’s more painful there). Orton punches Cena and throws him back inside.. More punching. RKO attempt is denied as Cena tosses Orton. Both end up at the top, but Hunter runs in. Hunter is sent into the top rope crotching Orton. STF finally locked in by Cena, but Superman powers out. Cena re-applies the hold. Orton misses the punt, but not before giving one of the oddest expressions I’ve ever seen in the history of wrestling. I wish you could all see what he did. Oy vey. It looked like he wanted to rape Cena. Roll-up (way he defeated Orton Monday) only gets two. Orton clotheline and beats up both heroes.

After the most boring beatdown ever, Cena chopblocks the left knee. Triple H also goes to work on the knee. Cena charges at Hunter, but the top rope is pulled down. Triple H applies the SHARPSHOOTER. Oh my God.  It’s fairly awful too. Cena finds his way back into the ring and applies the STF. Orton taps. Instead of ringing the bell, holding the belt up, and creating some drama for RAW, the referee stands there like a jackass. Legacy runs in. Orton hits an RKO  as Cena is about to give Cody an Attitude Adjustment for the three count.

-Time/Winner/Rating: 22:22/STILL WWE Champion- Randy Orton/***

-Nothing terribly wrong with the match but itself as all three guys know how to save a sound match. The ending was a little too cute for my liking since it essentially sets up yet another match between these three men again for Summerslam. I can’t see much more heat being built up between these three since everyone is so tired of these guys wrestling each other in various combinations. I know that I want to see them separated for a long long time and see someone… ANYONE… get elevated.

-Funny backstage skit with Maryse and Miz.  These two are such douches that they need to be put together. Miz calls Maryse a tease and rips on her. Awesome.

- Divas Title Match: Maryse © vs. Mickie James

I had high hopes for this match since Mickie is one of the better female talents in WWE and Maryse is one of the more charismatic Divas in the company. The problem is Maryse cannot wrestle at all. The crowd, which actually showed some enthusiasm in the last match, took this opportunity to cool down big time. Faint “We want puppies” chant. Other than that, no dice. Crowd doesn’t care. I don’t care, Maryse applies a resthold. Still, it’s better than Jenna and Sharmell. This match is getting an awful lot of time. Maryse gets the hairspray, but James counters. Referee takes the can away. Mickie beats on Maryse outside the ring. Back inside and Maryse does more restholds. Oh boy. Mickie is pissed. She stiffs her with a punch and clothesline. Maryse just won’t die. Ugh. FINALLY a leaping DDT gets three.

-Time/Winner/Rating: 8:38/NEW Divas Champion-Mickie James/*

-This match was absolutely abysmal. Maryse is horrible, and she really needs to be used as a manager or a non-wrestler. Even using her in tag team situations is preferable to this. Also, whoever gave this eight minutes was a complete fool. Five of these minutes should have been given to one of the next two matches since it appears they’re once again going to get shorted. You’d think a company that’s been doing three hour Pay-Per-Views for 25 years would have this figured out by now.

-Interview with the Legacy geeks. Apparently, it’s just swell they didn’t win the tag team titles because Orton retained his belt. Dibiase even buries the tag belts in the middle of all of this.

- WWE IC Title Match: Rey Mysterio © vs. Dolph Ziggler

No idea what they went ahead and aired the stupid video package for this match. Jesus. Maria accompanies Dolph. I can’t believe they’re actually going to go with that pairing. Maria is a pretty girl, but does she actually have any discernible talent other than being hot?

Dropkick by Dolph starts things off. He basically uses aggressiveness and some power moves early on. Rey comes back with an f’ed up headscissors before Ziggler reverses things with a powerbomb into the turnbuckle. Headlock by Dolph and this crowd is either burned out or they’re not buying a title switch. My hunch is this is a combination of both. Another headscissors sends Ziggler into the corner. Legdrop and crossbody gets two for Rey Rey. . Powerslam by Dolph gets a two. Attempted suplex gets reversed and Ziggler is sent outside. Rey Rey leaps on him. Dolph kicks Rey in the face but a Tiger Bomb fails. 619 countered and now Rey Rey gets tossed outside the ring. Punches lead into a chinlock. Another powerslam only gets two. Leaping elbow drop also gets two. Really nothing technically wrong with the match, but no one is buying a title switch.  Full nelson. Ziggler tries more power moves but cannot get the three. Even the beginnings of a Mysterio comeback doesn’t get much of a pop. HUGE  dropkick by Ziggler as Mysterio jumps off the top rope. Only a two count again. Ziggler misses a charge, but manages to hit a top rope gutbuster. 619 and splash come out of nowhere and get three

-Time/Winner/Rating: 14:23/STILL IC champion- Rey Mysterio/***

If the crowd gave a lick about this match or there was the sense that the championship could possibly change hands, I would give this ***1/2 without feeling much guilt about it. As it is, it was just a good match and not much more.

- World Title Match: CM Punk © vs. Jeff Hardy

Pretty incredible that these two guys are closing the show. Good for both involved, especially Punk since this is his first main event on a Pay-Per-View. Crowd chants for Hardy pretty emphatically. Punk is just absolutely playing the smarmy heel at this point and doing a lot of trash-talking early on in the match. Good fast-paced start before Punk applies a chinlock. Missed dive by Punk of all people and Hardy capitalizes with a neckbreaker. He goes for the swanton, but Punk rolls outside. Hardy misses a dive of his own. Punk wants the referee to count Hardy out.  Hardy comes in at eight, and Punk works him over some more. Three people in the front row take Jeff Hardy very seriously as they stomp their feet and pound the security wall with a fiery passion. If only the rest of the crowd was this passionate about anything that’s happened tonight. Hardy with a second rope implant DDT and the crowd goes… apathetic. Ugh. I hate Philadelphia. Both guys are on their feet and they exchange rights. Hardy tries the swanton again and Punk knocks him down. Running knee but the bulldog fails. Whisper in the wind only gets two. By the way, the look of feigned shock on Punk’s face when he hit the knee was brilliant. Swanton misses again. Welcome to Chicago leads to a modified dragon sleeper. Hardy gets to the ropes Punk is ready with more kicks and strikes. Hardy gets a Twist of Fate. He takes his shirt off and the swanton fails again. This time, Punk gets the knees up. Punk goes to the top now. Series of reversals leads to a Go 2 Sleep. ONLY TWO. Another try and again only two. Third time once again gets only two.  Punk grabs his title belt and heads to the back. Ross accidentally says the word belt, and Grisham quickly mentions Punk taking his title back. Hardy send Punk back into the ring and finally hits the swanton. 1-2-3. New champion.

-Time/Winner/Rating: 14:58/NEW World Heavyweight Champion- Jeff Hardy/***1/2

I love how they have a brand new heel who they gave a ton of promo time to earlier in the show… and have him job. They had him lose two non-title matches to John Morrison. Now this. What the hell is WWE thinking about? Do they even care about giving their heels heat? I guess not since he got jobbed out here. The match itself was really quite good, but why should I want to see yet another match between these two when it’s obvious to a lot of people Hardy is leaving but Punk has basically been treated like a loser the last month.

Final Thoughts: The crowd hurt this show a lot as many of the matches had zero heat. Nothing was overtly bad except the Divas title match, and even in that case the right woman won. I guess the problem with WWE right now is I have a complete dispassionate response to much of what they do. Instead of letting a young guy team with Jericho, they put the very stale Big Show in the slot. The same three guys were the RAW main event that have been in the main event the last three years.

My thumb is firmly in the middle for Night of Champions. Nothing really spectacular but not anything offensive . Only real pleasant surprise turned out to be the women’s title match. And again, I’m not kidding about that.

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Smackdown Recap 7/3/09

by James Johnson on Jul.04, 2009, under Smackdown Recap

-Todd Grisham welcomes us to the show, tonight coming from Fresno, California. Tonight we have the Smackdown fallout from the Bash.

-The show begins with CM Punk coming the ring to explain his kicking of the referee at the Bash. Judging by the reaction of the live crowd, Punk’s turn fully to heel is imminent. After explaining how the errant kick he threw at the referee on Sunday night at the Bash was due to him being unable to see because of an eye injury, Punk admonishes Jeff’s actions after the match and asks him to come down to apologize.

-Teddy Long enters the ring and says that Jeff and Punk will have a rematch at Night of Champions later this month. He also states that Vinnie Mac liked his shaking up of things so much at the Bash that he’s decided to team Punk and Hardy up to face the new unified tag team champions, Edge and Chris Jericho tonight as the main event. Hardy and Punk then face off, with Hardy calling bullshit on the whole eye injury thing. Punk then tells Hardy that instead of hitting him, Jeff should “Just say no.” All in all, a pretty good segment and Punk’s sign off line was a nice touch. Hopefully we’ll have the fully-fledged, straight edge, heel Punk in our lives again soon.

-Finlay vs. Ricky Ortiz
Barely five minutes long, this match ended with Finlay hitting the Celtic Cross for the three. Short and pointless, but no harm done.

-We see Dolph Ziggler and Maria backstage, reminiscing about their date the previous night. Ziggler’s attempting at acting cool around Maria give me the impression he’s going to be gold at some in the future. I was laughing just by looking at him.

-J.R tell us that Rey Mysterio will be facing Kane tonight in a non-title match tonight. Could have done without knowing that.

- Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth
A short, pretty entertaining back and forth match ends with Ziggler hitting his finisher for the win. Looks like Dolph’s getting a bit of a push which could be pretty good. He seems to have quite a lot of potential for entertaining shenanigans.

-Next it’s Cryme Tyme’s “Word Up” segment. I enjoyed making a cup of tea and sandwich at this point during Smackdown last week but now I actually have to watch it. This was an unforeseen hardship. Tonight, Cryme Tyme hide behind some large pot plants and spy on Layla. More unnerving than that is the fact that, while they’re doing that, Shad appears to have his hand on his genitals for the duration. Then Jesse, formerly of Jesse and Festus fame, showing up and talking shit. This was total balls.

- Kane vs. Rey Mysterio
After his tremendous matches recently with Chris Jericho, I’m sure Rey Rey was just as disappointed as the viewing public when he found he was going to be competing against Kane tonight. Still, the match isn’t bad. Kane destroys Mysterio for the most part, eventually picking up the win with a chokeslam after a nice ending sequence. My initial thoughts were that WWE had made the I.C title look terrible by having their champ beat in a meaningless TV match but it appears as though they’re trying to build Kane again, and J.R did put over the fact that Rey competed in a great match just a few days prior at the Bash so it wasn’t that bad. Just as Kane’s about to unleash a post-match beating on Mysterio, The Great Khali lumbers down to the ring with a chair and breaks it up.  So it has come to pass. Khali and Kane are going to feud. And I have to watch it all unfold. Someone up there really likes me.

- Next up is Josh Matthews in the back with Jericho. Jericho once again delivers an awesome promo, even slipping the word ‘obsequious’ in there. Not only is this man the best heels in WWE, he has a tremendous vocabulary as well. Jericho is all kinds of awesome. He goes on to say that he’ll be invoking his Intercontinental Title rematch clause next week on Smackdown next week, so we’re in for some more Mysterio-Jericho greatness in a week.

- Cryme Tyme vs. The Hart Dynasty
Cryme Tyme twice in one night? Smackdown, you are truly spoiling me. Pretty solid match on the whole though, just standard tag team fare. Cryme Tyme pick up the win.

- Melina vs. Maria vs. Michelle McCool vs. Layla
Cryme Tyme’s win was quickly followed by some diva related action. This was a good match overall, with only Layla being slightly hard to watch in the ring. Not that she was sloppy or anything, she just didn’t look especially smooth. Michelle McCool and Melina did some great work though, with McCool working more of a ground game and throwing some holds into the mix and Melina being…well… just really bendy. Melina pins Layla after hitting the Primal Scream and gets the three count.

-Next up we see a segment with John Morrison and Teddy Long in Long’s office. This basically revolves around the two of them singing Michael Jackson songs and then Morrison interpreting the lyrics to fit the situation last week when he pinned CM Punk clean. It was entertaining for about 20 seconds but got old pretty quickly. The segment didn’t end with any resolution to Morrison’s issue either, over being rewarded for his victory over Punk. He just basically sang some songs, talked about beating Punk and left. Strange. I was loosking forward to seeing more of Morrison this week but alas, it was not to be.

- Edge and Chris Jericho vs. C.M. Punk and Jeff Hardy
It was now main event time for this week’s Smackdown. Punk and Hardy took control of the tag champs early on, with Punk being visibly hesitant to tag Hardy in. Shortly after this, Jericho takes control and Hardy goes for the tag. Punk acts as though his eye injury is bothering him and doesn’t tag in. After some more action Jeff hits the Twist of Fate on Edge and tags Punk before he notices. Following Punk battling with Jericho, he goes to tag Jeff but Jeff falls to the arena floor feigning an eye injury. Punk manages to hit the GTS on Jericho but not before Jericho blind tags Edge who runs in and hits the spear on Punk for the win. Hardy continues feigning injury until he gets to the top of the ramp, where he reveals it was all just a cunning ruse as the show goes of the air. Another good match involving these four men with some sound story telling throughout.

-Final thoughts
A good Smackdown certainly, but Morrison’s limited involvement damaged my enjoyment of the show a touch. The Cryme Tyme segment I could also have lived without but hey, you’ve got to take the rough with the smooth. Talking of rough, as I said before, the prospect of this Kane-Khali feud is going to haunt me. I have absolutely no interest in Kane and Khali’s terrible in the ring. This is a recipe for disaster is you ask me. Or, at the very least, some fucking horrible PPV matches

More interesting though is the man event scene. With news breaking last night that Edge injured himself during a house show match with Jeff Hardy (a suspected Achilles tendon injury) it will be interesting to see where this takes with regards to the tag team titles and the main event stories. Look for some sort of development on RAW addressing this on Monday, with a possible title change in the works.

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Smackdown Recap 6/26/09

by Jerome Cusson on Jun.28, 2009, under Smackdown Recap

-We should be having a new Smackdown reviewer for next week, so this will likely be my last one. Last week, Jeff Hardy and CM Punk each defeated the men involved in the “Mask vs. Title” Intercontinental championship match. This week, we get a cage match and Punk in a non-title match with John Morrison. Sounds like more goodness. With that being said…

-Taped from just another Chicago suburb

-Your hosts those guys… you know the ones

Vince McMahon opens things up. Well, there goes this show. I’m reviewing the show off Hulu this week, so there might be a little less detail this week. Boy, that evil face of Vince McMahon really is too creepy. He makes fun of Wisconsin. He says the crowd is scared of him. He talks about jobs. Two days from a Pay-Per-View and we get this garbage. I know McMahon would never ever read this article or this review. I know he’s a successful businessman who’s re-made the wrestling business and killed WCW. I also know’s an egomaniac and that his continued presence onscreen only reveals his insecurities. Speaking of revealing insecurities, he then dresses Teddy Long down. And since we can’t call it a “cage match” because it’s too southern wrasslin’ it’s a “Rage in the Cage” match. Great, Teddy Long is on probation You know, fuck Vince and fuck this shit. Moving on…

-R-Truth comes out rapping, but Vince won’t say What’s up. After a commercial, Sheldon Benjamin comes out and speaks. Benjamin says some stuff that confirms that all the writers have to be white. Stuff about education and speaking properly. The delivery wasn’t so bad. What he was saying just continued to drag down this show further.

- R Truth vs. Shelton Benjamin

Since I can’t rewind or fast forward that easily, no times this week. The good news is this match got a fair amount of time and had a chance to develop. The bad news is that it was dreadfully boring because Sheldon Benjamin on offense does not equal success. He wrestles with so little aggressiveness and passion that it’s hard for me not to tune out. The best example was this backbreaker that he executed. He put so little effort into it that it killed the match even further. R-Truth might not be technically sound sometimes, but at least he’s exciting and brings some personality forward. R-Truth wins with what JR called “The Lie Detector.” It’s just his spinkick thing.

Winner: R-Truth

-More Vince. He talks to Rey Rey. Rey Rey speaks Spanish. Teddy Long is next to Vince as Vince points out we only speak English on Smackdown. Racial overtones and now this? What did President Obama do to piss him off now?

- Alicia Fox and Michelle McCool vs. Gail Kim and Melina

Cause this is going to help the show out at this point. Melina and McCool will meet at “The Bash.” I’m sooooooooooo excited for that. Melina gets kicked in the face by McCool, and her post-show plans must now be changed. I love how Gail Kim, chick who can actually wrestle, gets jobbed out. McCool wins with the Fairthbreaker. Gim loses to the bastardized version of the Styles Clash for a third time. I really hate Vince McMahon.

-Two worst words in the English language put together at this point. More Vince. This time he talks with CM Punk. Punk gives this look at the camera as if to say “Look at this goof.” I laughed heartily at this. That redeemed this segment, even when Punk spouted the garbage about being addicted to competition. He says it in such a mocking way that I can’t even be angry anymore.

-Brief discussion of The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler  match that takes place Sunday. Again, thank God I’m not spending forty bucks on that show.

-It’s now time for the first edition of Cryme Time’s Word Up. I guess this is a new weekly segment that’s intended to be funny but isn’t. This was so mind-boggingly awful. They basically rip off Urban Dictionary by defining some word that is something resembling English but really just further bastardizes our language. Jesse interrupts and raps. Great, we have another John Cena rip-off. Where’s Vince to fire all three of these yabos?

- NON-TITLE MATCH: CM Punk © vs. John Morrison

Thank God. Very slow build before the commercial. Always appreciated since that means this is getting 15 minutes. The crowd kinda sat on their hands, but by the end they were going bonkers. Some great maneuvers here as they improved on their series of matches from 2007 ECW.  The ending was also very creative as it ended up being a series of reversals leading into Morrison holding Punk’s  shoulders together for three. Great great match that I almost enjoyed more than Morrison’s with Edge because it leaves the door wide open for these guys to do a match at the following Pay-Per-View. They didn’t even hit any of their big moves, but found a way to have a great wrestling match. Morrison is not all the way there as a babyface, but by continuing to have these kinds of matches, he’s going to be a world champion very soon. The show is saved from an abyss of suck.

Winner: CM Punk

-Punk goes to shake Morrison’s hand… and he plants with a Go 2 Sleep. He then puts his hands to his head as if to wonder what he has just done. This only leaves more doubts about whether he’ll turn or not. Honestly, I don’t think the WWE is quite sure at this point. If Mysterio and Hardy were staying for sure, I think Punk would complete this subtle turn Sunday, but I’m not quite sure at this point. He could still very easily turn, but I’d rather see them wait.

-Josh Mathews interviews Chris Jericho. He asks a dumb question about why Jericho wants to unmask Mysterio. Josh has been paying far too much attention to ECW and not enough Smackdown obviously. One final go home promo that serves its’ purpose as Jericho adds another layer by pointing out how he saved himself and wants to save Mysterio once and for all.

-JR and Tool Grisham talk about “The Bash.” Glad it’s no longer a secret. Here’s the card:

- John Cena vs. The Miz

- NO DQ Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Great Khali

- WWE Women’s Title Match: Melina © vs. Michelle McCool
- IC Title vs. Mask Match: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio
- Unified Tag Team Title Match: Carlito and Primo Colon © vs. Legacy
- ECW Title Scramble Match: Tommy Dreamer © vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry
- World Title Match: CM Punk © vs. Jeff Hardy
-WWE Title Three Stages of Hell Match: Randy Orton © vs. HHH
- (The 1st Fall is a Regular Match, The 2nd Fall is Falls Count Anywhere Match, If Needed, the 3rd Fall is a Stretcher Match.)

-The cage comes down, and here we go.

-Vince and Teddy talk to Jeff Hardy.

-Punk looks like a moron in the referee’s shirt with no pants.

- CAGE MATCH: Chris Jericho and Edge vs.  Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy

Very odd rules since you could by pinfall, submission, or one person escaping the cage. This was another really good match as the heat segment was on Mysterio. Basic tag team wrestling within the cage as Jericho and Edge work quite well together. Of course, the guest referee becomes involved as Punk gets speared by Edge after Hardy ducks. Punk sells the rib injury for the rest of the match. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate but with Punk behind him isn’t trusting enough to finish the job. Edge hits the spear on Hardy for the three count. Punk was noticeably reluctant to make the count.

Winners: Edge and Chris Jericho

Final Thoughts: Between Sheldon Benjamin’s speech, the way Vince was treating Teddy Long, and Cryme Time, that was an awfully uncomfortable first half. The Vince McMahon stuff was awfully disturbing too. I’m just so tired of his ego infesting every show he’s on. Honestly, he screeches to a halt any show he’s on. I can see the ending a mile away. Teddy keeps trying to impress, but it doesn’t matter. Teddy is going to get fired. He’s going to get humiliated. Vince will entertain himself, play the bully once again and no one else care.

Thankfully the new Smackdown six of Edge, Jericho, Punk, Hardy, Mysterio, and Morrison save the show once again in the second half. I cannot emphasize enough how awesome these six guys have been with their matches. The interviews have a little to be desired in some cases, but the match quality makes up for it. And in some cases, Jericho is so awesome that Mysterio doesn’t need to say a word to get the fans on his side.

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Smackdown Recap 6/5/09

by Jerome Cusson on Jun.06, 2009, under Smackdown Recap, Television Reviews

Hello everyone. It’s time for another week of Smackdown. Last week’s show was weak sauce, but the main event this week sounds awesome. There have already been two really good television matches with Kofi/MVP from RAW and Christian/Tyson Kidd from ECW. I would highly recommend seeking these out if you have not yet seen them. Even the tag match main event from Superstars was good.  Only wish it could have aired on Smackdown, especially considering there was a pre-match promo by Jericho that could have sold a few buys. Enough babble, on with the show

Last week, Chris Jericho perpetrated a vicious attack on Rey Mysterio and was wearing one of Rey Rey’s own masks. Jeff Hardy lost to both Jericho and Edge in the main event and was assaulted after the match by Edge with a ladder. Also, C.M. Punk finally got some measure of revenge on Umaga.

-Live to tape from anywhere they darn well please…

-Your hosts are Tool Grisham and Good Ole’ J.R.

Open with the announcers talking about the main event of tonight’s show. Edge vs. Mysterio in a champion vs. champion match. Awesome. Punk will wrestle Umaga? OOOOOOOOOOOk. The world heavyweight title is hung, and there are ladders EVERYWHERE. Seriously, Home Depot’s stock went up 20% while this show was going on. Apparently, it’s time for a very special “Ladder” edition of the “The Cutting Edge.”

Edge welcomes Jeff Hardy as a guest… again. Hardy runs under the ladders since he apparently isn’t superstitious. Didn’t we do this on Superstars a few weeks ago? Guess since no one saw it, they feel justified in repeating it. But this is like putting a hat on Malibu Stacy and expecting people to think of it as something new, both the segment and the match. Hardy climbs the ladder like an idiot to have his convo with Edge. He cuts a pretty generic babyface promo, and Edge responds with a solid promo about how dangerous this match is going to be. He illustrates the climbing of the ladder but says he will continue to knock him down. Kinda like Triple H and the glass ceiling. Edge eventually climbs to the top so he can look Hardy in the face. Hardy talks about legendary the match will be and  he’s just not as interesting as Edge. Edge hits Hardy with the belt and Hardy takes a pretty safe fall. Smart move by saving the crazy shit for Sunday. Edge holds up his belt and I guess “The Cutting Edge” is over.

- John Morrison vs. Shelton Benjamin

Perhaps we can end this feud once and for all. The funniest part of this deal has been Morrison winning literally every match between the two of them. Good back-and-forth to start but the Memphis crowd that was so hot for the opening segment doesn’t much seem to be in this match. Benjamin works Morrison’s leg as part of the heat segment. Morrison comes back with an enzuguri and a stiff right hand. He’s even selling the leg injury.  Tries a highspot but this leads into a half-crab by Benjamin. Morrison takes control with a DDT before hitting The Starship Pain for the win. Okay five minute match, but this needed more time to really mean anything. However, this feud should be over now.

Time/Winner: 4:51/John Morrison

Before his match with K-Kwik, Jericho cuts a very similar promo to the one he did on Superstars. Still, it’s a good idea for one more big promo since less people watch the Thursday night show. I do need to point out that a fair amount of people have already seen Rey Rey’s face, but Jericho’s awesomeness makes me forget it for the most part. This angle has been so awesome I can allllmost forgive it. K-Kwik interrupts a Jericho promo. Didn’t care about him in 2000 when he was a tag team partner of Road Dog. Didn’t care about him 2002 as the NWA champion. Don’t care about him as rapper guy in 2009. Jericho’s glare at K-Kwik was just awesome. Asking Jericho “What’s up? was also quite hilarious. Jericho responds in kind and says he wasn’t done talking. Lord knows I’d rather hear him talk then K-Kwik rap.

-  Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth

For the record, K-Kwik was the Ohio Valley Wrestling name for R-Truth. That name is so bad, I just have to use it every time I reference him. Kwik takes the early advantage  with some early offense and a dive to the outside.  He tries another highspot and that doesn’t go too well. Dropkick send Kwik back to the outside. Back inside and Jericho has control of the match and continues to shout “What’s up?” Awesome. Kwik gets a quick roll-up and comes back with clothesline. Nice splits followed by a leg lariat. Jericho snuffs that out but misses a Lionsault. Uh-oh. Kwik almost won another quick roll-up. Back-and-forth lead into a nice Codebreaker where Jericho hit Kwik as Kwik was coming off the second rope. Good little match, and I’d almost like to see them get more time down the road since they seemed to have good chemistry. Then again, Jericho is God.

Time/Winner: 4:00/Jericho

Jericho is walking backwards up the ramp. Uh Chris, yup Rey Rey attacks him.  Things appear to calm down but the Mysterio hits a move off the ramp. Wow, that was cool. Very good segment that built to the No Holds Barred match well.

- CM Punk vs Umaga

Why they’re meeting just two days before the Pay-Per View is anyone’s guess. I just noticed they changed Umaga’s awesome theme song. That makes me sad. Punk uses some strikes and speed to take control of the big man. He hits a crossbody for two. Commercial break… ALREADY??? COME ON! Come back with Punk still in control. Umaga hits a Samoan Spike to the throat as Punk leaps to the outside. Umaga is well in control of the match now. At least Umaga is avoiding the Vulcan Nerve Pinch. He still uses a variety of restholds as the crowd gets into it for Punk. More strikes as Punk tries to come back but a kick to the head ends that. Punk with two feet into the jaw leading to a clothesline. More kicks before Umaga hits a huge move. He drags Punk into the corner and it setting it up for an ass to the face. He misses and Punk hits a knee strike. Umaga no-sells and grabs the strap. Punk takes advantage by hitting the Go 2 Sleep for the win. Good match.

Time/Winner: 8:58 aired/C.M. Punk

No one is happier to see Punk win and have good matches then me, but this means Umaga is taking the match Sunday. Then I assume he’s either going to go into a program with The Undertaker or a world title program.

Ross and Grisham preview the card in the ring again. That was one of the better ideas WWE had, putting the announcers in the ring to talk about the card. It emphasizes their importance and serves the live audience and television audience to see the matches and hear crowd reactions.

 Maria comes out in an… odd referee’s outfit. This can only mean it’s time for a Diva’s match.

- Layla El, Michelle McCool and Alicia Fox vs. Melina, Gail Kim and Eve Torres

I knew Eve and Layla’s feud wasn’t over. Melina and Michelle will be having a championship match at some point while Gail Kim is being punished for having the gall to go to TNA and be successful. Alicia Fox still has big hair. I hate play-by-play normally but especially for these matches. My not caring has a lot to do with it. I also don’t like to write “botched” or “attempted” before move either. The only benefit I see to Maria refereeing is she doesn’t have to wrestle, and she appears to be able to count to three. Not a guarantee with some of these women. I do like Melina’s matrixy move though. Lots of screaming here too. Layla El hits… something and gets a 1-2-3. WHAT? That ending makes the least possible sense. At least have Michelle or Alicia get the win to forward the angle. Stupid stupid stupid.

Time/Winners:  3:30/ Layla El, Michelle McCool and Alicia Fox

- Dolph Ziggler vs. The Great Khali

Khali is already in the ring since we’re a bit short on time. These two have a bit of a rivalry based off the last four weeks of Smackdown. Not worth a Pay-Per-View but perfectly acceptable for television. Be interesting to see if Knox interferes. Anyway, Ziggler is not off to a good start. He bails out after being dominated. JUST RUN AROUND! Fairly simple strategy since Khali is slow… physically. Khali continues to dominate, and this show has grinded to a halt. Ziggler finally gets a dropkick but is quickly thrown off and elbowed in the face. Big boot and his modified chokeslam finisher. Khali wins. What? Did not like the booking of this at all. Ziggler is the one with the potential to be a future WWE superstar. Does anyone think Khali has a chance of being anything other than a comedy mid-carder? I liked this show a whole lot, but the last two segments have been failures. What happend to Knox?

Time/Winner: 2:50/The Great Khali

They show “Hall-of-Famer” Koko B. Ware in the audience, but thankfully Rey Rey’s music hits. As much as I don’t like his music, I’d rather see an actual good wrestler then this alleged “Hall-of-Famer.” Mysterio is even a little cautious coming down the aisle as he acknowledges those in their Mysterio masks. Nice touch.

- Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

I’ve always been disappointed in the matches these two have had with each other. However, both of them have been on a roll lately as far as match quality. Match of course features a COMMERCIAL BREAK. Better early on in this case since we’ve got about 15 minutes left. Oh I’m sorry, we get another COMMERCIAL BREAK later on in the match as well. Ugh. As far as quality goes, I thought this was one of the better matches these two have ever had with one another. A lot of really nice nearfalls early and Mysterio looked the best he’s looked in a long time.  This was very close to Kidd/Christian as far as quality goes and I’d need to see both again before making a full judgment. Edge picks up a clean win after a  spear. Clean win in a match like this is always appreciated. Guess this sets up victories for both babyfaces though. Guess we’ll find out about the contract status of Hardy based on the result Sunday

Time/Winner: 12:26/Edge

Edge tries to attack Rey Rey with the ladder, but Jeff Hardy runs in with a steel chair and hits Edge. He also hits a dive by leaping over the ladder as well to get some measure of revenge. Finally, he holds the world title match.

 Final Thoughts: Minor quibbles with the booking aside, this was another really good show. Some very good wrestling could be found here, even in the first two matches. The main event was not four stars like some have been saying, but it’s great for free television. RAW was a bad show Monday, but the other three WWE shows were really good. If the writers want to focus all the attention on what happens with Monday, I say go right ahead. I’d rather watch the quality wrestling that’s on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. Big thumbs up for this week.

I’ll be back next week with another Smackdown recap and some thoughts on “Extreme Rules.”

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WWE Superstars Recap: 6/4/09

by Zack Danielson on Jun.05, 2009, under Superstars Recap, Television Reviews

Yup its me, Zack Danielson again. You see, after having a conversation with Jerome about a week ago, it came to my attention that Pro Wrestling Ponderings didnt have a reporter for WWE Superstars. So I volunteered to recap it until someone new joins PWP and does it. Haven’t seen to many episodes of Superstars, so im really interested to see what show has to offer. So here we go:

- I love the opening video for Superstars.

Match #1. Goldust and Hornswoggle vs. THE Brian Kendrick and Jamie Noble

Why is Hornswoggle wrestling in the ring? At least Jamie Noble is back on WWE TV. Kendrick is still trying to find THE partner and I think these two would be one hell of a team. Kendrick and Goldust start the match, with Dust getting the early offense. He tags in Hornswoggle and Kendrick just shoves him down. Kendrick tags in Noble, but Noble doesnt want to hit Hornswoggle so he tags back Kendrick in. Didnt Noble have a grudge against Hornswoggle about two years ago? Anyways, Hornswoggle eventually tags in Golddust and Golddust gets a lot of offense on Kendrick again. Noble comes in, but Dust sends him to the floor. Hornswoggle does a senton right onto Noble out on the floor, while in the ring Kendrick goes for the Slice Bread on Goldust, but Goldust counters it with a suplex. Dust tags in Hornswoggle, and he hits the Tad Pole Splash onto Kendrick for the 1…2…3. Once again, Brian Kendrick not only doesn’t find THE partner, but he jobs to a midget again.

Winners: Goldust and Hornswoggle (via Pin at 3:38) *

-We get a recap video of the John Cena/Big Show feud. Does anyone seriously care about this feud?

-The ECW Champion Christian is on commentary for our next match.

Match #2. David Hart Smith (with Natalya and Tyson Kidd) vs. Tommy Dreamer

-This will be Tommy Dreamer’s last televised WWE match if he loses in the triple threat match this Sunday at Extreme Rules. Dreamer gets early offense in the match, which included a slap to the face and a nice neckbreaker. Dreamer then clotheslines D.H. outside of the ring and hits him with a diving drop kick. D.H. mouths off to Christian and Tommy hits a flying clothesline off the apron. D.H. eventually gets the upper hand on Dreamer when Dreamer missed an elbow drop. D.H. had control over the match for a few more minutes until Tommy was able to lock in a Texas cloverleaf. Natalya tries to slide a chair into the ring but Christian is there to put a stop to that. That distracts the referee though long enough for Tyson Kidd to slide in and deliver a big boot to Tommy which allows Smith to pick up the pin at 8:45. Fine Match, but Dreamer losing the match was tough since this will probably be his last WWE match on television.

Winner: David Hart Smith (via pin at 8:25 min) **1/4

-We get a preview video of the Jeff Hardy/Edge TLC match for this Sunday’s PPV. Now this was a great video package that actually got me hyped up for their match.

- Chris Jericho comes out and cuts a prematch promo, stating he’s the ultimate superstar in the WWE. He also bragged about beating up Rey Mysterio last week on Smackdown. God,  I love Jericho’s promo work.

Match #3. Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth and Jeff Hardy.

- I like the team of Ziggler and Jericho much better than the team of Ziggler and Mike Knox. Ziggler and Hardy start off the match with Hardy throwing Ziggler outside and hitting him with a diving drop kick. The heels gets the advantage as soon as Jericho knocked Hardy off the apron. Jericho tags in and suplexes Jeff. Hardy clotheslines and tags in Truth. Truth comes in with a bunch of flips and hits a kick for the two count. Hardy tags back in and hits a whisper in the wind for another two count. Ziggler comes back in and goes for a suplex, but Truth turns it into a cross body for yet another 2 as Jericho breaks up the pin. R-Truth clotheslines Jericho over the top and to the floor, and then hits a tope to take Y2J out of the action. Back inside Hardy hits the twist of fate on Ziggler, and that sets up the swanton bomb for the 1…2….3. Great main event.

Winners: Jeff Hardy and R-Truth (via pin at 11:30 min.) ***

Final Analysis: Great show overall. Started off bad, but at least they managed to end it good. Superstars, just like ECW, is a great one hour show since they dont have to take too much time to build to PPVs and feuds. Its just an one hour show filled with wrestling, which I enjoy very much.  Superstars has more wrestling then Raw these days. I would say Superstars has officially become my 3rd favorite wrestling TV show (Number two is Impact, Number one is Smackdown). I’ll be back next week for another recap of Superstars.

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Smackdown Review 5/28/09

by Jerome Cusson on May.30, 2009, under Smackdown Recap

Until we find a permanent reviewer, I feel an obligation for WWE Smackdown to be recapped on a weekly basis since it’s pretty much the best wrestling show of the week. I wrote about in my “Ring Around Wrestling” column last Thursday, which can be found elsewhere on the site. So until further I’m Jerome Cusson, and this… is… SMACKDOWN.

Last week, Jeff Hardy defeated Edge and got to pick the stipulation of their upcoming match at “Extreme Rules.” They’re going to follow up a Pay-Per-View quality television match with a ladder match. I approve. Also Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio were booked for a No-Holds-Barred match. Pretty generic but the talent involved should make it a borderline MOTYC. Also, Youmanga SPOKE!!!! And challenged C.M. Punk to a Samoan Strap match. Wonder if it’s the same as the Yappapa strap match Flair and Hogan had back at Uncensored 2000. I sense half the audience just went “Huh?” so I move onto the show.

Rey Mysterio’s theme hits, and noticeably absent is the opening theme. Since it sucks, I approve. The bad part is I still have to Rey Rey’s music… which also sucks. Remember when wrestling shows used to open with wrestling matches. Every single WWE (and TNA program) just has to begin with a 20 minute promo. Tonight will be “Team Ego” (as Jim Ross puts it) of Edge and Jericho against Rey Rey and Jeff Hardy in the main event. This was supposed to be the main event a few weeks ago. Good match to build the Pay-Per-View. You’d think competent people were booking this show or something.

Mysterio talks some Spanish, but then gets to business as he talks about his match with Jericho. This promo is awful and really cookie cutter. Seriously, just let Jericho do all the promo work and let these two wrestle. Putting a microphone in front of Rey Rey has never led to anything good. Thankfully, your hero and mine Chris Jericho (w/suit) interrupts and he coldly calculatingly talks trash about Mysterio. Segment numero uno saved by Jericho. Remind me to send this man a thesaurus for Christmas. Rey Rey talks and says Jericho’s words don’t mean anything. Ha.

Mickey Rourke is in attendance for another WWE show. Oh, maybe he’ll “break his wrist” again. God, what a worker. Jericho goes to the outside and talks to Rourke, calling him worthless. Well, he must have followed Mickey’s boxing career too. Onto some mask talk as we ratchet up the goodness again. Jericho says he’s going to take the mask off and says it will be his downfall. He tries to cheap shot him, but Rey Rey responds but does not get the 619. Minor thumbs up for this because of Jericho’s awesomeness.

- R-Truth and The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler and Mike Knox

I hate play-by-play, so look elsewhere if you want every single move described. A few weeks ago, I could have cared less about any of these four people. Okay, so I still don’t actually care, but at least this match makes sense, and the mid-carders have something to do. Plus, Ziggler COULD be a big star for WWE down the line.   R-Truth and Mike Knox have each defeated each other in singles matches the last two weeks while Ziggler and Khali have been playing cat and mouse games. Khali rapping is quite a site.

Truth and Ziggler thankfully start and have a nice exchange. The cat and mouse games continue with Ziggler avoiding Khali. Knox and Khali are in the same ring, and I wonder why I decided to review this show. This doesn’t last long before R-Truth gets tagged in, and we have our heat segment. R-Truth tags in Khali and we have the big man dream match once again. Khali finally gets his hands on Ziggler for a brief moment and almost kills him with an attempted chokeslam. Ziggler ditches his partner leading to a Khali pinfall victory. Not horrible or anything.

Time/Winner (s): 4:04/Khali and R-Truth

Truth and Khali dance some more.

Goody. Melina is up next.

- Non-Title Match: Alicia Fox w/Michelle McCool vs. Melina ©

This is basically a handicap match with Alicia Fox’s hair the way it is. They show a clip from the awful awful Melina promo from last week. There was a brief moment when Melina seemed to be getting better wrestlingwise. However, ever since coming back from her injury, she’s sucked a big one… in the ring you perverts. This is also building to some women’s title match between Michelle McCool and Melina at some point. Can’t wait to review that either.

Melina uses a nice matrix move early, so we’ve avoided negative stars. Fox takes over after a distraction by McCool. This is at least better then Kelly Kelly and Maryse’s match. Being taped no doubt helps. Melina gets the advantage back but once again loses it to due a distraction by McCool. Melina wins with what Ross calls a “Primal Scream.” Bet Morrison has heard that before. Match was too short to mean anything, but at least it was better than the Divas match on Monday.

Time/Winner (s): 2:32/Melina

McCool hands Melina her championship as Tool Grisham says these two will meet “sometime in the future.” What I took from that was, “The bookers have no idea what they’re doing week-to-week, so it could happen at any time.”

Josh Matthews interviews John Morrison who’s wrestling Umaga tonight. Morrison doesn’t cut a very sterling promo, and I think he comes off way too cocky to be a babyface. Sheldon Banjamin comes in and says they have unfinished business. Morrison rightfully points out he’s beaten Benjamin twice and beaten Haas too. Please let this program end.

Promotion of the Smackdown main event at “Extreme Rules.” We see a video package showcasing Jeff Hardy in various ladder matches. A very well done piece of business that serves to hype the show well. Only thing I wish they had pointed out is that Edge has won more ladder matches then just about anyone in WWE and has just as much experience as Hardy does in this type of match. Then Hardy comes to cut a promo. It’s too bad that Hardy is apparently leaving at the end of the summer because he’s become so much better on the stick and in the ring. Interesting to note that Hardy said the feud will end at the Pay-Per-View. That’s a lie since feuds never end in WWE. Then Hardy leaves. Couldn’t he have just said this in a backstage promo? Umaga comes out while Hardy is leaving. Wonder if they’re teasing a feud between these two. Anyway, this naturally segues into…

- John Morrison vs. Umaga

WWE still has so much work to do with Morrison as a babyface. Why in the hell are they having this match? There are like a billion people on the roster who could take what should be a pretty big beating. And believe me, I realize that Umaga needs this match more by virtue of the fact that he’s got the strap match at “Extreme Rules.” Oh. God. They’re doing the four corners rule. Well, that match is now officially a failure.

Morrison uses his resourcefulness to gain an early advantage and even leaps onto Umaga on the outside. Can’t believe Morrison is taking so much of this match. Just as I type that, Umaga takes over with a big samoan drop. Of course we take a commercial break. Grrrr. I hate that. Come back with Umaga in a resthold so I guess we didn’t miss a whole lot. Huge superkick send Morrison flying to the floor in a cool spot. Replays make it look (and sound) even better. Another huge move, this time a clothesline. Vulcan nerve pinch (Hey, certainly looks like that to me) by Umaga as the crowd… doesn’t do a whole lot. There’s about ten people cheering while everyone else is kinda sitting on their hands. Umaga almost injures Morrison on a botched throw, and he looks gassed. Morrison finally comes back with a DDT and then a nearfall. He uses his speed to try and get the big man down, but Umaga uses a chop to the throat and takes over. Miss in the corner and Morrison comes off the ropes with a kick. Umaga hits Morrison with the strap for a disqualification. So after some ten minutes, we get a crappy ending to end a boring match. I didn’t want Morrison to lose, but Umaga really needed an emphatic victory to build up the drama with he and Mr. Punk.

Time/Winner (s): 11:32 (9:32 shown)/John Morrison

Umaga continues to beat up Morrison with the strap in the corner until Punk uses the briefcase to finally get some measure of revenge against Umaga. Punk even gets to cut a promo, and he gets to show off some of the dickishness that made him awesome in Ring of Honor. One of the better promos he’s had since he came to WWE.

- Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs. Cryme Time

This actually has a reason for happening as Cryme Time came out during a tag match involving Primo and Carlito against The World’s Greatest Tag Team 24 hours earlier on “Superstars.” We see what happened, and I thought that ruined what was a decent tag team match. For the record, I can’t stand Cryme Time and think they’re highly annoying. Benjamin has had so many stops and starts a single that I’m hoping being reunited with Haas gives both of them something to do.

Pretty basic match that includes yet another freakin’ commercial break. They really need to cut this out. Not only because I try and time these matches, but because it’s hard to go in and out of trying to get into match. The Los Angeles crowd continues to be among the worst I’ve seen for a WWE show in quite some time. Man, I hate the west coast. It was at least nice to see this match get a little bit of time attached to it. I think a better crowd would have helped, but WWE was kicked out of Colorado, so we got stuck with a lame California crowd. Eventually, Benjamin hits his finisher (Pay Dirt) for the victory. Wow, he actually won a match. Can’t say that too often these days.

Time/Winner (s): 9:37 (7:37 shown)/Sheldon Benjamin and Charlie Haas

A recap of the scintillating feud between Eve and Layla. This might be the dumbest feud on Smackdown. After seeing the backstage fight from two weeks ago, I’ll go out on a limb and say it is the worst.

- Eve vs. Layla

I’m not bothering. I could not possible give a rat’s ass about this feud or this match. Three divas matches in one week is about two too many, especially considering five of the six women involved are terrible in the ring. In this situation, I can see why the crowd sat on their hands. Eve wins and one can only hope this feud is over. Sadly, I get the impression it isn’t .

Time/Winner (s): 3:08/ Eve

Up next is the main event. Edge and Jericho have an awkward confrontation. This is immediately better then just about anything on this show. Jericho says Edge should have the match by himself. Cause that’s what WWE needs. Yet another handicap match where the babyfaces have the advantage. Edge also gets time to talk and says the two words to describe Jeff Hardy are “wasted opportunities.” Edge brings up the point about owning the ladder match. THANK YOU. Someone in the WWE is actually thinking and using their brains. Great promo that also speaks the truth. I remember when I used to rag on this guy. Well, he’s probably the best reason to watch Smackdown (other than Jericho).

Jericho’s music plays, and there’s no site of him. Rey Mysterio comes out but is suddenly attacked by a masked man from the crowd. Wait, that’s Jericho attacking. Brilliant piece of business as more quality heat is built for their match. Only question is whether the mask is going to be put on the line at “Extreme Rules” or whether they smartly wait. Jericho tries to pull the mask off and Hardy finally makes the save.

- Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy vs. Edge and Chris Jericho

Sadly, this remains a handicap match, but at least the heels have the advantage this time. This is a step up for the WWE universe. It’s pretty run-of-the mill with Hardy getting some early spots beating up the heels before the numbers game becomes too much. Hardy comes back and heel miscommunication almost gets him the win. Jericho and Edge’s attempt at a double team fails and Hardy gets a Whisper in the Wind. Spear by Edge gets a three count for the heels. Grisham calling the heels “The Egomaniacs” was also

Time/Winner (s): 7:15/Edge and Chris Jericho

Edge brings out a ladder and nails Hardy with an awfully stiff shot. Then he sandwiches Hardy in the ladder and stands over him. I’d like to know where Jericho went. He just literally disappeared. End of show.

Final Thoughts: Los Angeles was the site for one of the worst weeks of television WWE has put on in quite some time. Chris Jericho and Edge did some decent promos and the beating of Rey Rey did a fine job of building to the Pay-Per-View, but there were no real quality wrestling matches. Also, a dead crowd did this show no favors since a dead crowd kills even the best of matches. Bad show this week, but I’ll just write it off as a bad week and get excited for the go home Smackdown next Friday.

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