Pro Wrestling Ponderings

September 15, 2009

~DISC ONE~

MATCH #1: Undertaker vs. Randy Orton, 9.16.05

These two traded victories at WrestleMania 21 and SummerSlam, so this is a rubber match. The match is joined in progress, and Undertaker is dominating. He goes after Orton’s arm. Undertaker goes up to the top rope and tries Old School, but Orton kicks the rope and Undertaker gets crotched on the top rope. Orton hits a series of right hands and goes up for a superplex. Undertaker blocks it the first time but Orton is successful on the second try. Orton calls for his dad to bring out the truck, in this case a U-Haul. Meanwhile Undertaker sits up, but Orton plants him with a DDT. The U-Haul contains a casket, and Orton is in control as we cut to commercial. Back from the break and Orton has Undertaker in a chinlock. Undertaker powers out of it, but Orton levels him with a dropkick for two. Orton goes back to the chinlock and uses the ropes for leverage. Undertaker once again gets back to his feet, and this time Orton hits a bodyslam, and then goes up to the second rope. Orton tries the Flying Something, and Undertaker gets his boot up. Undertaker briefly takes control, but Orton cuts him off with the inverted backbreaker for a two-count. Orton tries a clothesline but Undertaker ducks and hits the flying clothesline. Undertaker hits Snake Eyes and a big boot to the face. He follows up with a Leg Drop for two, and I’m stunned that a big boot to the face and legdrop combination didn’t finish the match. Undertaker signals for the Chokeslam, but Orton avoids it. He then clotheslines Orton to the floor, where he chases Cowboy Bob Orton away. Undertaker opens the casket, and Undertaker sees a visage of himself. The distraction allows Orton to slam Undertaker into the barricade and the steel steps. Back in the ring Orton is working Undertaker over with forearms. He then stupidly goes for mounted punches in the corner, and Undertaker tries the Last Ride. Orton slips out, Undertaker accidentally clotheslines the referee, and Orton hits the RKO. Another referee makes his way down but Undertaker kicks out at two. Undertaker then sits up and he looks unhappy. He nails Orton with a chokeslam, but Cowboy Bob pulls the referee out at two. Cowboy gets in the ring and gets punched in the face for his troubles. Orton tries another RKO but Undertaker shoves him off. Undertaker then hits a Tombstone Piledriver and the first referee is back to count the fall at 15:41 (shown). The stuff with the casket was kind of silly, but the match was mostly a pretty good TV main event.
Rating: ***

MATCH #2: Steel Cage Match – Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero, 9.9.05

This is the standard “pinfall, submission, or escape to win” cage match. Theodore Long and Palmer Cannon are in a skybox hanging out with Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler. They show a quick video package highlighting this feud. It started off very strong with just the competitive spark setting Eddie off, but when they started the stuff with Dominic it fizzled. This is from Smackdown’s Friday night debut show. Rey is 7-0 against Eddie this year. They start throwing punches right away and Eddie immediately throws Rey into the side of the cage. He gets Rey in a powerbomb position and runs his head into the cage a few times. Rey comes back with his agility and sets up for a 619 and then realizes that the cage prevents him from doing that move. Eddie climbs up the cage and Rey hits a nice sunset bomb. Rey climbs up now and Eddie grabs him and pulls him down, causing Rey to awkwardly bend his knee on the top rope. We go to commercial and come back with Eddie climbing the cage. Rey goes up to stop him, and winds up taking a side Russian legsweep all the way down to the mat. They get up and Rey charges. Eddie tries to throw him into the cage but Rey hangs on and tries to climb out. Eddie stops him and they battle on top of the cage. Rey gets both his legs over and Eddie is hanging on. He pulls Rey back in and Rey almost punches Eddie right off the cage. They get back down on the top rope and Rey hits a sweet dropkick and both men fall to the mat. Eddie gets up and hits a DDT and tries to escape out the door. Rey pulls him back in. We go to another commercial and come back to Rey climbing up the cage. Eddie goes up and tries a powerbomb, but Rey wriggles out and tries to climb over the cage. Rey gets back in the powerbomb position and hits a rana, possibly hurting his knee in the process. He slowly tries to climb out, and kicks Eddie back down to the ring. He tries a cross body off the top of the cage and Eddie moves. Eddie walks out the door and could have had the match won, but instead he goes back in and hits the Frog Splash to get the pin at 11:07. That’s a good finish. They did some cool stuff with the cage and Eddie was just such a great heel, which helped make this yet another good TV match from Eddie.
Rating: ***½

MATCH #3: Intercontinental Championship Match – Chris Jericho vs. Chyna, 12.30.99

Jericho has been the champion since 12.12.99. Chyna won at Survivor Series (I was there), and Jericho won the title at Armageddon so this is a rubber match. Jericho goes right to the headlock, and Chyna counters to a hammerlock. Chyna lands an elbow to the chest and whips Jericho into the turnbuckle. She hits the cartwheel elbow in the corner, and follows up with a DDT for two. Jericho gets tied up in the ropes, but when Chyna charges Jericho is able to get free and the challenger falls to the floor. The champion hits the springboard dropkick and slaps Chyna around on the floor. Back in the ring Jericho goes up top and the Kat distracts the referee. Chyna catches Jericho with a low blow off the top rope, and then a swinging neckbreaker for two. Jericho reverses an Irish whip to the turnbuckle and hits a bulldog. He follows up with the Lionsault (sort of) for two. Jericho hits a spinning heel kick and referee Jimmy Korderas takes an inadvertent bump. He brings a steel chair in the ring but Chyna avoids it and hits a weak looking Pedigree. A new referee comes out but Jericho kicks out at two. Jericho hits a belly-to-back suplex onto the chair, and each referee counts one set of shoulders down for the inconclusive finish at 3:50. I hate the finish, and I hate that it led to “co” Intercontinental Champions, but for four minutes the match wasn’t bad.
Rating: *¼

MATCH #4: United States Championship Match – John Cena vs. Carlito, 10.7.04

Cena has been the champion since 10.3.04, and this is his first defense. The champion tears right after the challenger, and the match quickly spills to the floor. It’s one hundred percent Cena in the early going. This is Carlito’s debut match, by the way. Cena hits a delayed vertical suplex for the first near-fall of the match. He stays in control, hitting a kind of scary back body drop and a legdrop for two. A side suplex gets another two. They go back to the floor and Cena whips Carlito into the steel steps. Carlito makes it back to the ring and Cena continues the slaughter. Cena charges and Carlito pulls a low bridge to send Cena crashing to the floor. Carlito follows the champ to the floor and rams his head into the apron and the announce table. He tries a piledriver and Cena reverses it to a catapult, sending Carlito sailing over the guardrail and into the crowd. We take a commercial break and come back to Cena missing a cross body block off the ropes. Carlito hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A suplex gets another two-count for the challenger. A slingshot elbow from the apron gets yet another two-count. Carlito puts on a chinlock to try and wear the champion down. Cena powers up and back drops Carlito to break the hold. He fires up and hits a flurry of offense for a two-count. The champ hits the Jericho bulldog and the Five Knuckle Shuffle for two. Cena goes for the F-U but Carlito blocks it, only to get knocked to the floor. Carlito grabs the U.S. Title belt and brings it in the ring. Cena promptly punches him in the face and takes the belt himself. Referee Brian Hebner stops him from using it, and in the confusion Carlito grabs Cena’s chain. With the referee’s back turned, Carlito waffles Cena with the chain to get the pin and the title at 12:52 (shown). I’m sure I haven’t seen this match since it was first on if at all, but damn Cena did quite the job making Carlito look good in his debut.
Rating: ***

MATCH #5: WWE Champion vs. ECW Champion – Triple H vs. Tazz, 4.20.00

I’m pretty sure everyone knows the background to this so I don’t feel the need to recap the entire situation. Triple H has been the WWE Champion since 1.3.00, and Tazz has been the ECW Champion since 4.14.00. Tazz looks like a child next to Triple H. Naturally Triple H tries to intimidate him, but Tazz isn’t scared. Tazz hits Triple H with a clothesline and a series of punches in the corner. He goes for a suplex but Triple H blocks it and hits a clothesline. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, the Woman’s Champion, is of course at ringside. Tazz fights back with some punches and tries a back body drop. Triple H avoids that, but Tazz clotheslines Triple H to the floor and follows him out. Tazz slams Triple H’s head into the announce table, and then bodyslams him on the floor. Triple H reverses a whip and sends Tazz crashing into the steel steps. Back in the ring Triple H is firmly in control, hitting a suplex and a knee drop for two. Tazz fires back with punches once again and hits a belly-to-back suplex. Both men rise to their feet, and Tazz hits a back elbow and a Northern Lights suplex for two. Tazz tries a back body drop but gets a knee to the face. Triple H tries a clothesline but Tazz ducks and locks on the Tazzmission. Stephanie gets up on the apron to distract the referee, and Triple H hits a low blow and the Pedigree. Tommy Dreamer comes in from out of nowhere and tries to hit Triple H with a chair but he hits Tazz instead. Triple H hits Dreamer with a Pedigree, and then pins Tazz at 5:51. That was a lot of fun for the small amount of time they had.
Rating: **¾

MATCH #6: No-DQ Match for the Undisputed WWF Championship – Chris Jericho vs. Hulk Hogan, 5.2.02

Hogan has been the champion since 4.21.02, and I think this is his first defense. (He’s slightly over at this point. Naturally, Hogan overpowers Jericho in the early going, shoving the challenger to the floor. Back in the ring Hogan locks on a headlock, and then knocks Jericho down with a shoulderblock. It’s all Hogan on offense here. He goes back to the headlock and Jericho escapes it with a belly-to-back suplex. Unfortunately for Jericho he misses an elbow drop and Hogan goes back to work. Hogan hits an Irish whip but Jericho gets his elbow up on the charge in and goes to the top rope. Jericho gloats up there, and Hogan slams him down to the mat. Hogan puts Jericho in the corner and hits the mounted punches as the fans count along. Jericho escapes that predicament with a low blow. He whips Hogan into the corner but misses a charge and goes crashing to the floor. Hogan follows him out and tries to run Jericho’s head into the steel post, but Jericho slips out and rams Hogan into the post instead. Jericho goes up top and hits an axe handle to the back. Back in the ring Jericho snaps Hogan’s neck off the top rope. Before too long Hogan starts Hulking Up and hits a bodyslam. He hits two elbow drops, but pauses before running off the ropes for a third one and Jericho moves. Jericho hits the bulldog and the Lionsault, but Triple H’s music hits out of nowhere and he makes his way to the commentator’s table. Meanwhile, Hogan misses a big boot and Jericho hits a DDT for two. Now Hogan is really Hulking Up. He hits the big boot but Jericho avoids the Legdrop and puts on the Walls of Jericho. Hogan reaches the ropes to break the hold. Jericho goes to the floor for a chair and cracks Hogan across the back with it. He goes to hit Hogan again, but this time Undertaker’s music hits, even though Undertaker isn’t actually there. Oh that wacky Triple H. Jericho is distracted long enough for Hogan to get a schoolboy to retain the title at 10:18. The match was okay given Hogan’s limitations at this point.
Rating: **¼

MATCH #7: Batista, Rey Mysterio, Finlay & Jeff Hardy vs. MVP, JBL, Kane & The Brian Kendrick, 10.3.08

This is from the debut on My Network TV. Batista, Mysterio, JBL, and Kane are on loan from Raw for this match. Kendrick is accompanied by Ezekiel Jackson. Kendrick and Finlay start the match, and I expect a lot of action in this one. Finlay takes the first advantage and tags Batista, who gets a move or two in before tagging Finlay back in. Hornswoggle interferes behind the referee’s back as we go to commercial. We come back and Mysterio is working Kendrick over now. Hardy gets tagged in and, and Kendrick gets a shot on him. Finlay gets tagged in and Kendrick hits him with a dropkick and gloats. Hornswoggle gets up on the apron wearing Kendrick’s ring jacket. Kendrick chases Hornswoggle and gets leveled with a clothesline from Finlay. Ezekiel Jackson responds by delivering a clothesline to Finlay. Back in the ring Kendrick tags JBL, who goes right to work on Finlay. Kane gets tagged in and he picks up right where JBL left off. MVP gets tagged in for the first time, and he hits a knee drop for a near-fall. JBL gets tagged back in and tries a back body drop, and Finlay hits a DDT. Both men are down, and JBL tags MVP while Finlay finally makes the tag to Batista. He pretty much takes on the whole team, throwing spinebusters at Kane and MVP. He goes for the Batista Bomb on MVP but Kendrick breaks it up. Batista then powerslams MVP down, and tags Mysterio, who gets on Batista’s shoulders and hits a splash for two. I have no idea who’s legal for the heel team. Mysterio goes for a dual 619 on MVP and Kendrick, but Kane pulls him to the floor as we go to commercial. We’re back and Kane is working over Mysterio in the ring. Kendrick, JBL, and MVP also get their turns beating on Mysterio. After several minutes Mysterio makes the comeback and tags Hardy, and he’s all over MVP. He hits Whisper in the Wind, and the match breaks down to a brawl. Amidst all the chaos Mysterio hits MVP with the 619, and Hardy follows with the Swanton to get the victory for his team at 13:31. That was a ton of fun, and a good match to showcase everyone involved.
Rating: ***¼

~DISC TWO~

MATCH #8: Randy Orton vs. Hardcore Holly, 4.25.02

This is Orton’s TV debut. They take it to the mat right way, and the action is fast paced in the early going here. Orton hits a bulldog for two, and then Holly gets up and hits a hard clothesline. Holly slugs away at the face and looks ornery about it. He hits the kick to the lower abdomen and continues slugging away. Orton comes back with a nice dropkick for two. He hits a charging Holly with an elbow and then goes up top and hits a high cross body block, which Holly rolls through for a two-count. Orton gets a drop toehold and an Oklahoma Roll to get the upset win at 2:46. Well they did about as much as you can do in that amount of time.
Rating: *

MATCH #9: Handicap Tables Match – The Rock vs. The Dudley Boyz, 3.9.00

The Dudley Boyz had just recently won the World Tag Team Titles from the New Age Outlaws. Of all the people I don’t understand, Rock Haters are right near the top of the list. Rock is all offense from the get-go, using the ring bell to subdue both Bubba Ray and D-Von. He then grabs a chair and slams it into their heads. Rock follows Bubba into the crowd and they brawl amidst the people. Bubba and Devon start making their way to the back but Rock follows them and clotheslines both of them down. He suplexes Bubba on the entrance ramp, and then takes D-Von into the ring. Bubba also gets in the ring and now the champions take control. They hit the What’s Up, and continue wearing Rock down. Rock fights back with a flurry of offense. He hits Bubba with a Samoan Drop, and then a spinebuster on D-Von. Rock tries the People’s Elbow, but Bubba breaks it up. They bring a table into the ring and go for the 3D, but Rock avoids it and hits a Rock Bottom on Bubba through the table! Rock is halfway home as he goes out and grabs another table. He goes to Rock Bottom D-Von, but Bubba slams a chair into Rock’s back and they hit the 3D through a table to get the win at 7:04. That had a ton of energy, and Rock was just awesome.
Rating: **½

MATCH #10: Cruiserweight Championship Match – Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy, 6.5.03

This was the first time the Cruiserweight Title was the main event of any WWE show that wasn’t Velocity, to the best of my knowledge. Hardy has been the champion since 2.23.03. The champion is accompanied by his Mattitude Followers Shannon Moore and Crash. Mysterio’s family is at ringside. The champion tries to intimidate, and Mysterio get s quick rollup for two. Mysterio is a five-time Cruiserweight Champion, all reigns from WCW. Hardy clobbers Mysterio with a clothesline to the back of the neck. The referee catches Moore and Crash almost interfering. Mysterio makes a comeback with a modified dropkick and a slingshot splash for two. He tries another springboard maneuver, but Hardy knocks him to the floor. Moore and Crash swarm on Mysterio, and the referee catches them and send them to the locker room. Hardy goes to the floor to protest, and Mysterio hits a springboard seated senton as we go to commercial. We come back to Hardy trying a Splash Mountain, and Mysterio avoids it, only to get hit with a sneaky low blow. Hardy goes to work on Mysterio’s previously injured groin now. He locks on a half Boston Crab and Mysterio reaches the ropes. Mysterio makes a brief comeback but can’t connect with the 619 and Hardy goes right back to work on the injury. Mysterio avoids a charge in the corner, and reverse a powerslam into a DDT for two. He hits a bulldog off the second rope for two. Hardy comes back with a kick to the leg and he goes to the second rope. Mysterio joins him up there, and Hardy hits a Super Side Effect for only two! Hardy complains and Mysterio gets a quick cradle for two. Mysterio then hits a Twist of Fate for a near-fall. He hits the 619 and tries the West Coast Pop. Hardy catches him, but Mysterio reverses the momentum and sends Hardy crashing to the floor. Mysterio joins him out there and the referee begins the count. The champion distracts the referee on the floor while Moore and Crash interfere in the ring. Hardy goes up top and hits the guillotine legdrop but Mysterio kicks out to a thunderous pop! He tries the Twist of Fate, but Mysterio sweeps the legs and gets a jackknife pin to win the title at 10:23 (shown). They could have given it some more time, but the drama was certainly there. It’s too bad they never really did anything with the Cruiserweight Title.
Rating: ***¼

MATCH #11: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Rob Van Dam, 9.4.01

RVD was just a tiny bit over at this point. Austin attacks RVD right away and kicks him down in the corner. This is a rare WWE Champion versus Hardcore Champion match, and also an Alliance versus Alliance match. RVD comes back with a spinning heel kick and unloads some offense, so Austin pokes him in the eye and goes back to work. Austin gets an Irish whip and charges into an elbow. RVD goes up top and gets shoved into the barricade. Austin follows him out and continues the punishment. They fight into the crowd, and RVD gains some life out there, hitting Austin with a spin kick to send him back to ringside. RVD slams Austin’s head into the announce table, but Austin comes back with a clothesline. Austin rams RVD’s head into the ring post and then the ring steps. Back in the ring Austin gets two-count. Austin sets RVD on the top rope and hits a superplex for two. RVD tries to come back with a dropkick but Austin avoids it and stays in control. Austin drags RVD to the floor and goes for a suplex, but RVD reverses it. RVD tries a clothesline but Austin ducks it and drops RVD crotch first on the guardrail. Back in the ring Austin hits a short-arm clothesline for two. Austin goes for the Stunner but RVD blocks it and hits a dropkick. RVD tries the cartwheel moonsault but Austin gets his knees up. Austin grabs a chair but gets it kicked back into his face! RVD goes up for the Five-Star Frog Splash but Austin knocks him down and goes for a superplex. He can’t hit it, and RVD knocks him down but misses the Five-Star. Austin lands a Stunner, but instead of going for the pin he tries the Ankle Lock. Kurt Angle’s music hits, distracting Austin, and RVD gets a rollup for the cheap win at 9:48. The finish was lazy as all hell, but the match was action packed and lots of fun.
Rating: ***

MATCH #12: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri, 5.29.03

Eddie & Tajiri have been the champions since 5.18.03, and this is their second defense. The challengers attack before the bell can ring, and we’re off and running. Haas and Guerrero start the match proper, and Haas pitches him to the floor. Guerrero gets back in the ring and Team Angle works him over in their corner. Benjamin tosses Guerrero in the air and gets hit with a dropkick for his troubles. Guerrero tags Tajiri, who unleashes some kicks and a hurricanrana. Tajiri traps Benjamin in a rolling sunset flip for two. They get back to their feet and both men land a kick to the head as we go to commercial. We come back to Tajiri nailing Benjamin in the chest with a dropkick. Haas illegally interferes and Team Angle viciously attacks Tajiri’s knee. That’s good strategy, given how much Tajiri relies on his kicks for offense. Team Angle does an effective job keeping him isolated, but eventually Tajiri does make the hot tag and the crowd is on fire. Guerrero sends Benjamin to the floor, and hits the Three Amigos on Haas. He hits the frog Splash but Benjamin breaks it up. The match breaks down to a brawl, and the referee is having trouble maintaining order. Guerrero makes the tag, and Tajiri is fighting hard on one leg. Haas hits a Northern Lights Suplex and Guerrero has to break it up. Benjamin comes in and Guerrero dumps him to the floor. Guerrero wipes out Benjamin on the floor with a dive from the top rope. In the ring Tajiri misses the Buzz Saw Kick, and Haas locks on the Haas of Pain. The bell rings, but the referee doesn’t know why. While the referee is distracted, Guerrero brings one of the title belts in the ring and makes it look like Haas hit him with it, and the referee calls for the disqualification at 12:14 (shown). It’s not often you hear crowds pop like that for DQ finishes, but Eddie Guerrero was just that special. The match was terrific fun, and the crowd was super hot.
Rating: ****

MATCH #13: Steel Cage Match – Eddie Guerrero vs. JBL, 7.15.04

JBL won the title on 6.27.04, and this is already his second defense. Eddie is the aggressor early on, wanting to regain the title he feels like he lost unfairly. JBL is able to counter him and is the first man to use the cage as a weapon. He tries to escape early but Eddie pulls him back to the ring. JBL comes back and hits the Last Call. He tries to crawl over the top again but Eddie stops him. He slams JBL’s head into the cage and finds himself on the top rope. He goes for the Frog Splash and JBL moves out of the way. JBL tries to climb out again and Eddie crotches him on the top rope and gets a two-count. He gets JBL up and delivers the Three Amigos. Eddie goes up top and this time JBL knocks him down and delivers a superplex. We go to commercial. Back from the break the WWE Champion is still in control. JBL comes off the ropes and Eddie hits him with a dropkick. Eddie delivers a blatant low blow and gets a cover for two. JBL fights back with a spinebuster and gets his own near fall. He tries climbing out again but Eddie goes up and hits him with a super Russian legsweep. They get up and JBL is able to utilize the sleeper, while choking him with his wrist tape. Eddie pulls a Bret Hart and runs JBL into the cage to escape the hold. He runs JBL’s face into the cage again and gets a near fall. He charges at JBL with the running something and gets back dropped into the cage. The champ gets a near fall. They get up and trade punches, and JBL comes off the ropes with the Clothesline from Hell but Eddie kicks out! We take one more commercial break, and when we’re back JBL is trying to crawl out of the cage again. Eddie stops him again. JBL comes back and tries the Last Call, which Eddie reverses into a Tornado DDT. That gets two. Eddie then tries to climb out, and JBL comes up to bring him back into the ring. He follows up with a vicious powerbomb and Eddie kicks out again! JBL climbs up to the top and Eddie kicks him down to the mat. He climbs to the top of the cage but instead of climbing down to the floor and winning the match he delivers a huge Frog Splash from the top of the cage. Eddie is hurt as well, so it takes him a while to crawl over for the cover. When he does, JBL kicks out at two. They get back to their feet and JBL hits a DDT and goes to climb over the cage again. Eddie gets up and meets him at the top and they slug it out. All of a sudden the masked El Gran Luchador comes out and holds Eddie’s legs while JBL climbs down and gets the win to retain the title at 21:04. The match was pretty great for TV, but I think the finish was a bit unnecessary. Luchador climbs over the top of the cage and Eddie tries to bring him back to the ring but is only able to take his mask off, revealing Kurt Angle!
Rating: ***¾

MATCH #14: WWE Undisputed Championship Match – Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle, 7.4.02

Undertaker has been the champion since 5.19.02, and this is his fifth defense. He’s still a biker at this point, which is my least favorite Undertaker of all time. The champ overpowers Angle to start, shoving him down to the mat. He puts on a headlock and then shoulderblocks Angle down, and the challenger takes a quick powder. Back in the ring Angle locks on a side headlock, which Undertaker quickly breaks and shoulderblocks him down. Angle gets a single leg takedown into a front facelock, and rolls that over to cover for two. He taunts Undertaker and then bails to the floor. Back in the ring Angle outwrestles Undertaker and gloats about it, so Undertaker boots him in the face and Angle rolls back to the floor. Back in the ring again Undertaker hits a clothesline for two. Undertaker hits a clothesline in the corner, Snake Eyes, and a running big boot for two. He tries a Chokeslam but Angle counters with a release German suplex. Angle hits a belly-to-back suplex for two. He locks on a front facelock to try and wear Undertaker down. Angle works Undertaker over in the corner, but when Angle stops to jaw with the referee Undertaker makes the comeback with some fisticuffs of his own. Undertaker follows with a big shoulderblock and more punches. He hits a DDT for two. Undertaker tries the Tombstone but Angle slips out and locks on the Ankle Lock. That gets broken, but Angle is able to hit the Angle Slam for two, and then the straps come down and the Ankle Lock gets put back on. Undertaker breaks it again, and hits a chokeslam on one leg for a two-count. He sets up for the Last Ride, but Angle locks on a Triangle Choke. Then, for the first time ever, Undertaker taps out, but Angle’s shoulders are on the mat and he gets pinned at the same time to end the match in confusion at 10:21. I’m not a big fan of the finish, because why would Undertaker tap out when he had a two-count? Overall the match was pretty good though, one of Undertaker’s better ones from this time period.
Rating: ***

~DISC THREE~

MATCH #15: World Tag Team Title Match – The Rock ‘n Sock Connection vs. The New Age Outlaws, 10.14.99

The Outlaws have been the champions since 9.23.99. The Rock and Billy Gunn start for their respective teams. I miss the days when crowds were this hot for everything. Rock locks on a side headlock, and then takes Gunn down with a shoulderblock. Gunn comes back with a drop toehold, but Rock fires back with a clothesline and a series of right hands in the corner. Rock whips Gunn into the corner, and Gunn comes out with a neckbreaker for two. Gunn tries the Fame-Ass-Er but Rock counters with a slam and goes for the Rock Bottom, but Road Dogg breaks it up. That turns the match into a pier-six brawl, and another referee comes out to restore order. We wind up with Road Dogg and Mankind in the ring. They trade punches, and Mankind tries to imitate his opponent. Road Dogg responds with a low blow, a punch, and the Shake Rattle N’ Roll Knee Drop. He sets up for the Pump Handle Slam, but Rock breaks it up and gets tagged into the match. Rock tags Mankind back in, and Road Dogg and Mankind clothesline each other. Road Dogg tags Gunn, who knocks Rock off the apron and hits Mankind with a piledriver, but Rock breaks up the count. The Outlaws work Mankind over in their corner. Gunn misses a Stinger Splash and Mankind hits a modified bulldog before making the hot tag. Rock is all over the champions, hitting Gunn with the Rock Bottom. Road Dogg breaks it up and he and Rock fight outside the ring. Back in the ring Mankind hits Gunn with the Double-Arm DDT for two. Road Dogg comes back in and Mankind traps him in the Mandible Claw. Rock pulls Road Dogg to the floor again, and Gunn hits Mankind with the Fame-Ass-Er. Crash and Hardcore Holly come in out of nowhere, and Hardcore hits Gunn with one of the title belts. Mankind drapes an arm over to get the pin and make the Rock ‘n Sock Connection three time World Tag Team Champions at 8:31. I don’t get the finish, as Hardcore and Crash were scheduled for a shot at the titles, and now they don’t get it. Other than that the match was the usual fun times from Mankind and The Rock.
Rating: **½

MATCH #16: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle, 6.27.02

This is Cena’s TV debut, and it came about because Kurt Angle challenged anyone who he has never wrestled before to come out and make a name for himself. Cena gets a quick takedown and clotheslines Angle to the floor. He follows Angle out and throws him right back in. He hits a back body drop and a couple of clotheslines. He whips Angle into the corner and hits a Stinger Splash for two. Angle tries to put the Ankle Lock on but Cena counters it twice, so Angle hits a release German suplex instead. The veteran Angle is in control now, withstanding a victory roll and slugging away at Cena in the corner. He locks Cena in a front facelock and wears him down. Cena powers out of it and slams Angle down. Both men make it back to their feet and Cena is on fire, hitting a modified spinebuster for two. Angle rakes the eyes and tries an Angle Slam, but Cena reverses it to a DDT for three straight near-falls. A schoolboy rollup gets two, as does a small package. Cena whips Angle off the ropes for a powerslam that gets two more near-falls. Out of nowhere Angle grabs Cena’s arms in a chicken wing and rolls it into a pinning combination to get the pin at 5:37. Cena wants a handshake but Angle refuses. That’s a terrific debut match.
Rating: **¾

MATCH #17: Handicap Match – Zach Gowen & Stephanie McMahon vs. Big Show, 7.3.02

Show obviously dominates from the get-go and it spills to the floor. Stephanie jumps on Show’s back and tries to choke him, and gets (sort of) slammed down to the floor for her troubles. Gowen also tries to get some offense in, but Show just throws him around and Stephanie too. Vince McMahon comes in to direct traffic, and Show hits Gowen with a chokeslam. Stephanie slaps her father, who then directs Show to chokeslam her. Kurt Angle comes out to save Stephanie, and he hits Show with a low blow and puts on the Ankle Lock. Vince hits Angle with a chair, so Brock Lesnar comes out and sets Vince up for the F-5 and Show breaks it up. Show grabs the chair and Gowen kicks it into his head! Angle hits Show with the Angle Slam and Lesnar hits an F-5. Gowen dropkicks Vince to the floor and hits Show with the one-legged moonsault to get the pin and earn his contract at 4:46. The match was fine enough for what it was.
Rating: *

MATCH #18: World Tag Team Championship Match – Billy & Chuck vs. Edge & Hulk Hogan, 7.4.02

Billy & Chuck have been the champions since 6.6.02, and this is their third defense. Hogan and Chuck start the match, and Hogan easily overpowers him. Chuck comes back with a series of right hands and a bodyslam. That doesn’t keep Hogan down for long, and he catches Chuck gloating and hits a series of punches and a clothesline. Hogan rakes his boot across Chuck’s face, which is “vintage Hogan.” So this has been going on at least seven years then. Edge and Billy are tagged in, and Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. The champions cheat to gain an advantage and start working Edge over. The battle spills to the floor, where Rico accidentally superkicks Billy. That doesn’t keep Billy down for too long, as he bulldogs Edge off the apron into the steel steps. Back in the ring the champs keep wearing Edge down. Finally Edge makes the hot tag and the crowd loses it. He Hulks Up on both Billy and Chuck. He hits the big boot on Billy but when he goes for the leg drop Chuck comes in with a Jungle Kick. Hogan kicks out but the champions are double-teaming him now. No matter, Hogan clotheslines both of them and makes the tag to Edge. He comes off the top rope with a clothesline on both champions. He hits Chuck with the Edgecution, and then Rico trips him up. Hogan takes care of that little problem. Billy tries the Fame-Ass-Er on Edge but he avoids it and hits a Spear. Hogan is back in now and he and Edge hit a double big boot on Chuck. Edge hits a Leg Drop, Hogan hits one too, and Edge makes the pin at 10:03. That was Hogan’s first major World Tag Team Championship victory. I know there are many Hogan haters out there but this was the absolute best way to use him and this match was super fun.
Rating: ***½

MATCH #19: Intercontinental Championship Match – Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy, 4.12.01

Triple H had just beaten Jericho for the title one week ago. Hardy attacked HHH, Stone Cold, and even hit Stephanie with a Twist of Fate earlier tonight, so HHH comes down to the ring pissed off. Hardy gets some offense in and a couple of near falls, but HHH continually overpowers him. HHH tosses Hardy to the floor, and when he tries to run the guardrail on him HHH catches him and slams him. Hardy tries to jump off the apron and gets the exact same treatment. Back in the ring HHH hits the Harley Race knee and instead of going for a cover he punches him in the face a few times. HHH goes to the sleeper and Hardy breaks it up with a chinbreaker. Hardy hits a side Russian Legsweep, and Cole and Tazz think HHH executed it. In their defense it was awkward looking. Hardy goes up to the top rope and HHH shoves the referee into the ropes. Referee Tim White gets in HHH’s face about it so HHH shoves him down. HHH goes up to superplex Hardy, but Matt Hardy comes out and nails HHH with a chair and Jeff hits the Swanton for the major upset at 8:07. Matt was supposedly at home with injuries so it was a surprise to see him there. The match was a pretty good underdog babyface overcoming the odds display, and a big win for Jeff. He would lose it back to HHH on Raw four days later, but it was still a big moment.
Rating: **½

MATCH #20: No DQ Match – Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero, 9.26.02

These two split singles matches at SummerSlam and Unforgiven, so this is the rubber match. This match is often mistaken for a ladder match, but it’s just no-DQ. I vividly remember watching this match in my dorm room at Western when Jimmy Jacobs’s brother was my roommate. I had been a fan of both guys for a while (Eddie in WCW, and Edge from The Brood) so the reports of this match’s awesomeness excited me. Eddie takes the early advantage, and Edge comes back with a powerslam. He heads up top and Eddie knocks him down and hits a superplex. Edge kicks out at two, but Eddie stays in control, wearing Edge down. Some in the crowd are actually chanting “boring,” which is strange because there’s barely been any resting in this match. Edge recovers and knocks Eddie to the floor and he grabs a ladder from under the ring. He charges at Eddie, who ducks, and Edge strikes the referee instead. That distraction allows Eddie to take control and whack Edge on the back with a steel chair. Eddie throws Edge back in the ring and hits him with the chair again. He goes up and tries the Frog Splash but Edge rolls out of the way and we go to a commercial. We come back with a new referee and Eddie is pummeling Edge the corner. The poor first referee is still lying unconscious on the floor; I guess the medics are busy doing something else. Finally some other referees come out to bring him to the back. During the break Edge did hit a Spear for a near-fall. While we’re being shown that footage, Edge gains control and hits a face plant for two. Edge goes to the top rope but Eddie counters with a rana for two. Eddie works on the arm for a moment, and then goes up for another rana on a standing Edge, who counters to a powerbomb. Edge goes back to the ladder and brings it in the ring. Eddie dropkicks it into Edge’s face. He then goes out and gets his own ladder. He puts Edge between the two ladders and hits the Hilo on him, hurting himself a bit in the process too. He covers Edge on the ladder and only gets two. Undaunted, he sets up one ladder in the corner and goes all the way up. Edge recovers and meets him there. They slug it out and Eddie is able to hit a huge Sunset Bomb and the crowd gasps and then cheers. That’s a good sign. Amazingly, that does not end the match. Eddie charges and Edge back drops him into the ladder that’s still set up in the corner. Ouch. Edge sets up the other ladder in the other corner and climbs it for some reason. Eddie meets him up there and they slug it out. Edge hits an unbelievably awesome Edgecution from the top to get the pin at 16:42. Wow, talk about a match that holds up seven years after the fact. The crowd was a little tepid at first but they won them over by executing awesome spots without making them look contrived. Eddie got busted open on the last sequence from getting his head slammed into the ladder. They used the weapons to enhance the story they were telling, not as a crutch. These two were part of so many great matches in the year 2002 (particularly the latter half) and this was one of the best. It’s also one of the best matches in Smackdown history.
Rating: ****½

MATCH #21: WWE Championship Match – The Rock vs. Triple H, 8.26.99

Shawn Michaels is the special guest referee. Triple H won the title on 8.23.99 so this would be his first defense. They slug it out to start, and both guys try to hit their finishers early. They trade offense back and forth and take the brawl to the floor, all the way up the entrance ramp. Rock hits a suplex and throws more punches. They make their way back to ringside, and Chyna hits a low blow, causing Michaels to eject her from the premises. Triple H argues with Michaels, giving Rock time to recover. Back in the ring Rock hits a DDT but Michaels was out of position arguing with Chyna so the champion kicks out. Shane McMahon comes down to argue with Michaels, and the crowd doesn’t appreciate Shane being around. Triple H takes control with the big knee to the face. He wears Rock down for several minutes, until Rock powers out of a front facelock and hits a Hot Shot, but Shane distracts Michaels and he can’t make the count. Rock hits a swinging neckbreaker and Shane once again gets on the apron, so Rock slugs him down. He hits the Rock Bottom and sets up for the People’s Elbow, when out of nowhere Shawn intercepts him with the Superkick! Triple H then hits the Pedigree and gets the pin to retain the title at 9:41. I think this was Shawn’s only appearance around this time, so sadly it ended up going nowhere. It’s really too bad we never got to see Shawn Michaels versus The Rock. As for this match, it was a solid way to kickoff Smackdown.
Rating: **¾

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It’s time for another slab of Smackdown related action, this time eminating from Cleveland. Tonight we will witness the return of the Undertaker to the show and an intercontinental title match, with Rey Mysterio defending the title against John Morrison.

We start with a recap of last week’s cage match between CM Punk and Jeff Hardy, with Jeff Hardy’s subsequent exit from Smackdown following. Back in the arena Hardy’s music hits and the places goes nuts. The usual pyro goes off and, for a few seconds, in does indeed appear to be Jeff Hardy but on closer inspection it’s CM Punk, dressed to the hilt in Hardy gear, including face paint. CM Punk cuts a typical, yet still awesome, promo about him being straight edge and better than us. He mentions the Undertaker being an icon on Smackdown but that the audience should be looking up to the newest icon on Smackdown, Punk. Following a few more words (including an ‘anaconda’ reference, which I’m sure is planting a seed for when he whips out the Anaconda Vice in his submission match with Taker at Breaking Point), Matt Hardy comes out and engages in a brawl with Punk that has to be split up by a team of refs. A good segment, with Punk once again, delivering slices of fried gold on the mic.

Back from the break and Punk is protesting to Teddy Long backstage about Matt Hardy’s attack. Long says they can settle it in the ring in a non-title match later on in the program.

The Great Khali & Finlay vs. Mike Knox & Kane: Shortly before this match begins, JR hypes a singapore cane match between Khali and Kane at Breaking Point. Are you shitting me?! These two get a second PPV match in a row? Ridiculous. Knox and Finlay begin the match with Knox dominating (”his middle name is Lector” says JR. I’m not convinced). “Can you imagine the pre game talk between Kane and Mike Knox?” says Todd Grisham. “I bet there was a lot of diabolical laughter involved.” If that sentence was supposed to funny that Grisham is comedy gold. I get the feeling it wasn’t supposed to be though. Back to the match and The Big Red Machine is soon tagged in and misses a flying clothesline. Khali is tagged into the match and Kane quickly tags out. Knox gets caught in Khali’s vice grip but Kane drags his him out of the ring as we go to the adverts.

When we return Khali is dropping Kane with a clothesline and soon does the same to Knox. Finlay is tagged into the match and eventually is shoved off the top rope by Kane. Knox and Kane beat Finlay down, working the arm. Knox misses a tag in the corner and Kane goes after Runjin Singh (I’m sure I’m spelling that name differently every week), drawing the attention of both Khali and the ref. The distraction allows Finlay to nail Knox with his shillelagh and get the pinfall for his team.

Here in the UK, it was time for another “From The Vault” match, this time from a September 2007 episode of Smackdown that saw Batista go up against… The Great Khali?! Ooooh, go fuck yourself, WWE program director. This was when Khali was world champ too. Those were some dark days.

After the break, Eve and Maria are in the locker room discussing their tag-match later tonight. Michelle McCool enters talks some unconvincing trash at Maria concerning her relationship with Dolph Ziggler. Melina then joins in and gets on the tits of both McCool and Maria. This sucked.

Next up is the Intercontinental Championship match. Hooray!

Rey Mysterio (c) vs. John Morrison: The two men trade quick roll-up attempts to start things off, with Morrison winning the test of strength spot. More pinning predicaments follow, with neither man getting the advantage.

We return after the adverts and Mysterio and Morrison are engaged in some back and forth action which eventually spills out over the top rope with, Mysterio head-scissoring Morrison over, and taking a fairly hard knock to the back on the ring apron. attempt. Both men crawl back into the ring a second before getting counted out. Rey misses an attack in the corner and his shoulder hits the post. Morrison starts to work the arm but Rey reverses an attack into an awesome and well executed around the world head-scissors. A battle in the corner leaves Morrison open and Rey hits a swift kick to the face and a springboard moonsault off the ropes. Mysterio tries a few holds on Morrison but the “Friday Night Delight” performs a fantastic counter to Rey’s standing surfboard by flipping out of it and kicking him upside the chin. This spot was all sorts of awesome!

Morrison is in control and hits a standing shooting star press for a close two count. Morrison chucks Rey out of the ring under the bottom rope but helps him back into the ring without any outside action. Morrison hits his break dancing leg drop for a close two and following an exchange in the corner, Morrison ends up being set up for the 619 but he is up quickly to avoid it. Both men run the ropes and collide with flying crossbody attempts. We head to another break.

As we return Morrison hits a back suplex. Mysterio reverses a whip to the ropes and sends John to the outside. He follows up with a head-scissors and slides John back in. Rey hits a springboard legdrop and gets a 2 count. Morrison counters Rey’s bulldog attempt into a facebuster for a two count and quickly follows that up with a running knee on him for another close two.

Aftert some more back and forth action, Mysterio climbs the top rope and launches himself at Morrison but John catches him in mid-air with a drop kick to the gut. Rey is set up for Starship Pain in the corner by Morrison but he manages to move out of the way and gets placed for the 619. It connects but Morrison is out of the way before Rey can follow up with a springboard legdrop. John hits his springboard kick off the ropes and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but gets caught by Rey as he goes up for Starship Pain. Rey tries to hit a reverse frankensteiner from the top, but John holds on to the top rope, sending Rey crashing to the mat. He finally connects Starship Pain and gets the pinfall to become the new Intercontinental champion. Rey congratulates his opponent before exiting and John celebrates. As loathe as I am to talk about things such as workrate and to give matches star ratings, I’d be a fool not to recognise how good a match this was. Easily **** in my opinion and it will almost certainly be Smackdown’s TV match of the year, barring anyone eslse pulling something awesome out of the bag in the coming months. Great stuff.

R-Truth comes out to face an unnamed opponent but is once again attacked by Drew McIntyre. Apparently McIntyre’s going to keep doing this until he’s recognised as the superstar he is. Go ahead, my Scottish comrade!

Maria & Eve vs. Natalya & Layla: I could barely control my apathy as this match began. It doesn’t turn out to be that bad though, with Natalya in particular looking great in the ring. Towards the end of the match Maria and Natalya scuffle on the outside of the ring and Eve hits her handspring splash finisher on Layla for the pinfall.

CM Punk vs Matt Hardy: Punk starts the match by using the ref as a shield to avoid Matt. Matt eventually gets his hands on the champ and takes control. Hardy misses a charge into a corner and Punk tries to go up top, but Hardy is able to connect with a superplex and that gets him a two count. Punk manages to take control of the match as he drops him over the top rope with a forward vertical suplex and then sends him off the apron and into the barrier. Matt is down outside the ring we go to the adverts.

We return and Punk is in control with Hardy locked in an abdominal stretch. Punk continues to work over Hardy focusing on the midsection, due to Matt’s recent abdominal surgery. Punk misses a shoulder block in the corner and Matt hits a bulldog for 2 count. Hardy follows with a legdrop from the top rope that gets him another long two count. Punk reverses out of a Twist of Fate attempt, but Matt continues the reversal into a roll-up but then walks right into a kick to the head. Punk goes up top for a flying clothesline, but Matt catches him and hits the Side Effect. The fight goes to the outside and Hardy misses a dive off the apron allowing Punk to go to work on him with a steel chair. I’m guessing Punk was disqualified but there was no bell or announcement. He wraps the chair around Hardy’s neck in the same way he did to Jeff. The lights go out and when they come back on the Undertaker is there. He grabs Punk by the throat and chokeslams him through the announce table as the show goes off the air.

Another great episode of Smackdown, almost purely because of the Morrison-Mysterio match which was better than most of the stuff that’s been on pay per view recently (apart from the Hardy - Punk TLC match at Summerslam). The upcoming feud between Taker and CM Punk should also be great, ensuring Smackdown maintains it’s status as WWE’s ‘A’ show, despite what the ratings may say.

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JR welcomes us to Edmonton for this week’s edition of Smackdown and hypes the main event of John Morrison vs. CM Punk for later on in the show. Sweet.

We then get a recap of last week’s events when Hardy faced Punk with Matt Hardy as the guest enforcer. We get reminded of Matt Hardy’s spray tanning error too. Too much tan doesn’t look good in HD that’s for sure.

The show proper being with CM Punk walking to the ring. He grabs the mic and claims that he is better at TLC matches than Jeff Hardy, putting over his two wins in the Money in the Bank ladder match and the incident last week when he rammed Hardy into the ring post with a chair around his next. He calls the audience “slaves” and gets all righteously straight edge again before saying that he’s going to “end Jeff Hardy”. Good stuff from Punk on the mic once again here.

GM Teddy Long comes down to the ring and announces that Jeff Hardy is in the building and that Hardy will be able to compete against Punk at Summerslam, despite injuries sustained last week. Hardy’s music hits and he walks to the ring, selling his injuries. He grabs the mic and cuts a 15 second promo that basically repeats what Long had announced before he came out. Hardy still sucks on the mic. I thought he was getting better but I’m still cringing before he’s even opened his mouth.

We get a recap of Kane abducting Runjan Singh last week. JR tell us that Kane has Singh with him in the building tonight and is holding him captive in the bowels of the biulding. For some reason, I start to fear we’re going to see a similar episode to the Heidenreich incident from a few years ago. Michael Cole’s lucky he got moved to RAW.

Teddy Long takes a call from Vinnie Mac in his office next. McMahon makes the match of Jeff Hardy vs. The Hart Dynasty in a handicap match. He also apparently tells Long that he’s still on probation several times. Jeez, give a guy a break Vin-man!

Finlay vs. Dolph Ziggler - The match begins with Finlay as the agressor wh0 takes it to Ziggler with some hard strikes. He catches Ziggler between the ring skirt and apron following Ziggler’s attempted baseball slide and pounds on Dolph’s back. Ziggler manages to catch Finlay with a brutal looking kick on the apron. Mike Knox comes down to ringside and observes before cheap shotting Finlay in the knee with the Irishman’s own shillelagh. Ziggler hits his finisher for the three count. After the bell, Knox beats down on Finlay, administering a back breaker on the steel ring steps. He then cuts a short promo telling Finlay about the correct bone to punish to cause a lot of pain. Wow. Knox seems to know a lot about anatomy. Damn you, educated heels!

We next see Kane’s lair on the arena. Runjan Singh is tied to a chair and Kane is evidently filming him. This looks like it might be worse than the Heidenreich episode. Singh tell the camera that he is being punished for his association with the Great Khali and that he is being treated fairly. This is weird. It’s not creepy, but it’s slightly unsettling.

A promo video for R-Truth is played next. Awesome. I hope this means the Pretty Ricky experiment has been deep sixed.

Maria and Melina are backstage talkng about Ziggler and Summerslam before Layla enters and tells Melina that Michelle McCool is back next next week. Thrilling stuff.

John Morrison vs. CM Punk - Main event time. The match starts off with some back and forth action before Punk takes control by hitting Morrison with double knees from the top rope to the outside. He then follows this up with a figure four around Morrison’s neck. Morrison get some offence in and makes a couple of attempts to hit Starship Pain but Punk counters each one. After Morrison makes some counters of his own out of Punk’s GTS, the straight edge superstar finally hits it for the three. Another strong match featuring Morrison and Punk. You can pretty much count on a good match every time these two are involved and this was no different.

Melina vs. Layla - Layla’s entraince is interrupted by more footage from Kane’s home video collection. Runjan Singh gets pushed over in his chair with Kane asking him whay Khali  is such a “freak”. Steady on Kane. Scarily huge, big chinned men have feelings too. Singh eventually announces the revelation that the Great Khali is in fact his brother. Shit just got soap opera.

Back to the match and it’s typical WWE womens wrestling fare. Not necessarily a bad thing however, as I’ve noticed a marked improvement in a lot of the female wrestlers in the company. So it’s a decent match, with Melina grabbing the victory after hitting the Primal Scream. The bendiness of Melina continues to impress me.

Big Show w/ Chris Jericho vs. JTG w /Shad - Cryme Tyme cut a promo on the Unifed Tag Champs before the match, hyping the Summerslam match between the two teams. .Jericho joins JR and Grisham on commentary for this match, which is basically an elongated squash. I think JTG gets two punches in the whole match. Show chokeslams him and submits him. Some of Jericho’s commentary is funny stuff however. When justifying his loss to JTG last week Jericho says “Hey, I had a sore throat last week. Do you have any idea the toll that can take on a man?!”

We next head back to WWE’s Funniest Home Videos and Kane attacking Khali when the Punjabi playboy came to Kane’s lair to save Runjan Singh. I can’t wait for Summerslam purely because after that event, this fued will hopefully be over.

Jeff Hardy vs. The Hart Dynasty - Hardy starts off the handicap match facing Tyson Kidd while DH Smith waits in the corner. After some early offence, Hardy starts to sell his injuries, seemingly unable to fight due to his pain. As a result DH Smith and Kidd dominate the match, eventually getting the win a modified version of the Hart Foundation’s old finisher, with the clothesline being administered in a spring board fashion from the top rope. After the bell CM Punk walks to the ring and starts beating on Hardy. John Morrison runs in to make the save but ends up getting clobbered with a chair by Punk. Punk puts Jeff Hardy’s neck in a chair and looks to ram him into the ringpost just like last week but he is cut off by Matt Hardy. Morrison and the older Hardy eventually clear the ring. Matt and Jeff stare at each other before Matt helps Jeff to his feet. So, Matt’s a good guy again then? There’d better be sensible reason for this.

We cut to Teddy Long watching the monitor in his office. Vince McMahon enters and asks Long what he has in mind for next week’s main event. Long responds by booking The Hart Dynasty and CM Punk vs. Jeff & Matt Hardy and John Morrison. Vinve looks like he approves and, one more time, reminds Long that he’s still on probation. The two teams for the main event next week stare each other down as the show goes off the air.

A pretty good show all round, although not quite up to the standards of recent weeks. The best thing about tonight’s show was the fact that there was no “Word Up” segment from Cryme Tyme. Not even a hint of it! Hooray! For that, WWE should be congratulated. The face turn of Matt Hardy continues to bother me though but I’m an optimistic chap so hopefully the reasons for Matt’s sudden change of heart will be sensible and believable. Or maybe I’m just being ridiculously naive.

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Smackdown this week begins with a video recapping last week’s fantastic heavyweight championship match between Jeff Hardy and John Morrison. Tonight we will have Jeff Hardy defending his belt again, this time against CM Punk.

The proper begins with CM Punk walking down the ramp to the ring. Apparently the world heavyweight championship match is opening the show. I sense tomfoolery afoot. Punk cuts an awesome promo chastising drinkers, smokers, stoners and other drug users. We also get to see the footage again of CM Punk laying that intense beating on Jeff Hardy at the end of last week’s show. This was good stuff.

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy (c)

Jeff Hardy makes his way to the ring and goes right after Punk before the bell rings. Punk and Hardy brawl on the canvas for a while before Teddy Long and a group of agents and officials come down to restore order. Vince McMahon comes out and blames Teddy Long for the situation getting out of hand, reminding Teddy that he is on probation. Vinnie Mac goes on to say that the title match will take place later in the night and that he will appoint a special enforcer to keep things under control. He doesn’t mention whom it will be, saying he’s going to make us all wait to find out.

John Morrison vs. Tyson Kidd

Back from commercial and we have a rematch from Superstars between Morrison and Kidd, which was a pretty good match. The two men lock up and exchange holds before Morrison takes control hitting some of his awesome offence. Morrison is eventually dumped outside where Natalya and DH Smith get their shots in on the “Friday Night Delight” as Kidd has the referee distracted. After a competitive few minutes with both men hitting their respective moves, Morrison hits a springboard kick and then Starship Pain (hitting Kidd squarely in the face it would seem) for the win. Another good match from both these guys.

Hey, it’s my favourite time of the week; when I go and make a sandwich and a cup of tea while Cryme Tyme’s “Word Up” is on. From the kitchen, I hear that this week’s word is “Pretenda” and that Jesse has a match tonight. Oh. Great.

Slam Master J vs. Charlie Haas

So, Jesse is now Slam Master J. A stroke of creative brilliance there, I’m sure you’ll agree. I never want to hear Todd Grisham say “He is the Mac Daddy, and the Daddy Mac” again, but I know I’ll hear it from now on, whenever Jesse is present on Smackdown. I find myself enjoying Haas during this match. He seems a little bit more intense and his cobra clutch into a back breaker was pretty sweet. It’s a shame he has to put over this gimp. Slam Master J hits a splash from the top rope for the pinfall victory. Underwhelming to say the least.

Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. Finlay vs. Mike Knox

Rey Mysterio is heading down to the ring as we return from commercial. He’ll be joining JR and Grisham for commentary on this match, which is for an Intercontinental title match at Summerslam. This was a decent match for it was but I think everyone knew who was going to win and, sure enough, Ziggler hits his finisher on Finlay to get the pin and the title shot.

We next see a brief backstage segment with Maria explaining to Melina why she is dating Dolph Ziggler, She says a whole load of stuff about him being “different on the inside” and other such bollocks.

Chris Jericho vs. JTG

Chris Jericho comes to the ring with the Big Show in tow. WWE has mashed Jericho’s and Show’s music together and it sounds freakin’ terrible. Shad is also out with JTG. Jericho and Show land some cheap shots and Jericho works the ribs for a while. JTG eventually comes back until Jericho hits the surprise Codebreaker. JTG is in the ropes so the ref won’t count the pin. As Jericho protests to the ref, he gets rolled and JTG gets the win. Well, who would’ve thunk it?

The Great Khali vs. Ricky Ortiz

Khali beats Ortiz in about 30 seconds after two moves. The phrase “short and pointless” never rang so true. After the match Kane appears out from under the ring, shoves Khali out of the ring and then drags Runjun Singh out of the arena. What a dark, terrifying twist this mammoth feud between Khali and Kane has taken. And, yes. That’s sarcasm.

World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

So it’s time for the main event and time to find out who the special guest enforcer is. Hey, it’s Matt Hardy! With a bizarrely tanned face. Or did the make up department out a whole load of bronzer on him? It looks strange, either way. Jeff enters the ring and tries to talk to Matt before the match but Matt does even look him in the eye. We get the big match introductions Hardy sets out to take control early as he clotheslines Punk outside of the ring. Punk counters and chucks Jeff off the apron to the floor, with Hardy landing in a twisted heap. Some work on the ribs by Punk and some covers follow, with Punk only getting two counts. Jeff counters out of the corner with the Whisper in the Wind and a drop kick. Following a two count, Punk takes control of the match with a superplex. Punk hits Matt accidently with a baseball slide aimed for Jeff on the outside. Matt doesn’t look too chuffed about that. Jeff eventually goes for the Swanton but Punk gets his knees up and goes for the cover. Matt pulls the ref out of the ring before he can even start counting and he enters the ring to face off with punk, complaining about the baseball slide that went astray. Jeff suddenly rolls Punk up and Matt is quick to count the 3, giving Jeff the win. Following the count, Matt leaves the ring and heads up the ramp, showing very little emotion.

Since he can’t get to Matt, Punk returns to the ringside area to give Jeff another beatdown. He rams Hardy’s head off the announce table multiple times before driving his neck with a steel chair around it into the ring post. This looked awesome. Punk starts to leave but Teddy Long comes out to tell Punk he will have a championship rematch at Summerslam but only if Jeff is able to perform. If it does go ahead, it will be a TLC match. We see Jeff being tended to by medical staff as the show goes of the air.

Not an amazing edition of Smackdown it has to be said but the Morrison-Kidd match was solid and Punk-Hardy was consistent too. The idea of a TLC match between the two men gets me very excited indeed. Matt Hardy’s return was welcome, but confusing. Is he going to turn face again? I certainly hope not. But, if so, what was the point of all that guff leading into Wrestlemania this year? I guess we’ll find out soon.

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-Todd Grisham welcomes us to the show, tonight coming from Fresno, California. Tonight we have the Smackdown fallout from the Bash.

-The show begins with CM Punk coming the ring to explain his kicking of the referee at the Bash. Judging by the reaction of the live crowd, Punk’s turn fully to heel is imminent. After explaining how the errant kick he threw at the referee on Sunday night at the Bash was due to him being unable to see because of an eye injury, Punk admonishes Jeff’s actions after the match and asks him to come down to apologize.

-Teddy Long enters the ring and says that Jeff and Punk will have a rematch at Night of Champions later this month. He also states that Vinnie Mac liked his shaking up of things so much at the Bash that he’s decided to team Punk and Hardy up to face the new unified tag team champions, Edge and Chris Jericho tonight as the main event. Hardy and Punk then face off, with Hardy calling bullshit on the whole eye injury thing. Punk then tells Hardy that instead of hitting him, Jeff should “Just say no.” All in all, a pretty good segment and Punk’s sign off line was a nice touch. Hopefully we’ll have the fully-fledged, straight edge, heel Punk in our lives again soon.

-Finlay vs. Ricky Ortiz
Barely five minutes long, this match ended with Finlay hitting the Celtic Cross for the three. Short and pointless, but no harm done.

-We see Dolph Ziggler and Maria backstage, reminiscing about their date the previous night. Ziggler’s attempting at acting cool around Maria give me the impression he’s going to be gold at some in the future. I was laughing just by looking at him.

-J.R tell us that Rey Mysterio will be facing Kane tonight in a non-title match tonight. Could have done without knowing that.

- Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth
A short, pretty entertaining back and forth match ends with Ziggler hitting his finisher for the win. Looks like Dolph’s getting a bit of a push which could be pretty good. He seems to have quite a lot of potential for entertaining shenanigans.

-Next it’s Cryme Tyme’s “Word Up” segment. I enjoyed making a cup of tea and sandwich at this point during Smackdown last week but now I actually have to watch it. This was an unforeseen hardship. Tonight, Cryme Tyme hide behind some large pot plants and spy on Layla. More unnerving than that is the fact that, while they’re doing that, Shad appears to have his hand on his genitals for the duration. Then Jesse, formerly of Jesse and Festus fame, showing up and talking shit. This was total balls.

- Kane vs. Rey Mysterio
After his tremendous matches recently with Chris Jericho, I’m sure Rey Rey was just as disappointed as the viewing public when he found he was going to be competing against Kane tonight. Still, the match isn’t bad. Kane destroys Mysterio for the most part, eventually picking up the win with a chokeslam after a nice ending sequence. My initial thoughts were that WWE had made the I.C title look terrible by having their champ beat in a meaningless TV match but it appears as though they’re trying to build Kane again, and J.R did put over the fact that Rey competed in a great match just a few days prior at the Bash so it wasn’t that bad. Just as Kane’s about to unleash a post-match beating on Mysterio, The Great Khali lumbers down to the ring with a chair and breaks it up.  So it has come to pass. Khali and Kane are going to feud. And I have to watch it all unfold. Someone up there really likes me.

- Next up is Josh Matthews in the back with Jericho. Jericho once again delivers an awesome promo, even slipping the word ‘obsequious’ in there. Not only is this man the best heels in WWE, he has a tremendous vocabulary as well. Jericho is all kinds of awesome. He goes on to say that he’ll be invoking his Intercontinental Title rematch clause next week on Smackdown next week, so we’re in for some more Mysterio-Jericho greatness in a week.

- Cryme Tyme vs. The Hart Dynasty
Cryme Tyme twice in one night? Smackdown, you are truly spoiling me. Pretty solid match on the whole though, just standard tag team fare. Cryme Tyme pick up the win.

- Melina vs. Maria vs. Michelle McCool vs. Layla
Cryme Tyme’s win was quickly followed by some diva related action. This was a good match overall, with only Layla being slightly hard to watch in the ring. Not that she was sloppy or anything, she just didn’t look especially smooth. Michelle McCool and Melina did some great work though, with McCool working more of a ground game and throwing some holds into the mix and Melina being…well… just really bendy. Melina pins Layla after hitting the Primal Scream and gets the three count.

-Next up we see a segment with John Morrison and Teddy Long in Long’s office. This basically revolves around the two of them singing Michael Jackson songs and then Morrison interpreting the lyrics to fit the situation last week when he pinned CM Punk clean. It was entertaining for about 20 seconds but got old pretty quickly. The segment didn’t end with any resolution to Morrison’s issue either, over being rewarded for his victory over Punk. He just basically sang some songs, talked about beating Punk and left. Strange. I was loosking forward to seeing more of Morrison this week but alas, it was not to be.

- Edge and Chris Jericho vs. C.M. Punk and Jeff Hardy
It was now main event time for this week’s Smackdown. Punk and Hardy took control of the tag champs early on, with Punk being visibly hesitant to tag Hardy in. Shortly after this, Jericho takes control and Hardy goes for the tag. Punk acts as though his eye injury is bothering him and doesn’t tag in. After some more action Jeff hits the Twist of Fate on Edge and tags Punk before he notices. Following Punk battling with Jericho, he goes to tag Jeff but Jeff falls to the arena floor feigning an eye injury. Punk manages to hit the GTS on Jericho but not before Jericho blind tags Edge who runs in and hits the spear on Punk for the win. Hardy continues feigning injury until he gets to the top of the ramp, where he reveals it was all just a cunning ruse as the show goes of the air. Another good match involving these four men with some sound story telling throughout.

-Final thoughts
A good Smackdown certainly, but Morrison’s limited involvement damaged my enjoyment of the show a touch. The Cryme Tyme segment I could also have lived without but hey, you’ve got to take the rough with the smooth. Talking of rough, as I said before, the prospect of this Kane-Khali feud is going to haunt me. I have absolutely no interest in Kane and Khali’s terrible in the ring. This is a recipe for disaster is you ask me. Or, at the very least, some fucking horrible PPV matches

More interesting though is the man event scene. With news breaking last night that Edge injured himself during a house show match with Jeff Hardy (a suspected Achilles tendon injury) it will be interesting to see where this takes with regards to the tag team titles and the main event stories. Look for some sort of development on RAW addressing this on Monday, with a possible title change in the works.

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-We should be having a new Smackdown reviewer for next week, so this will likely be my last one. Last week, Jeff Hardy and CM Punk each defeated the men involved in the “Mask vs. Title” Intercontinental championship match. This week, we get a cage match and Punk in a non-title match with John Morrison. Sounds like more goodness. With that being said…

-Taped from just another Chicago suburb

-Your hosts those guys… you know the ones

Vince McMahon opens things up. Well, there goes this show. I’m reviewing the show off Hulu this week, so there might be a little less detail this week. Boy, that evil face of Vince McMahon really is too creepy. He makes fun of Wisconsin. He says the crowd is scared of him. He talks about jobs. Two days from a Pay-Per-View and we get this garbage. I know McMahon would never ever read this article or this review. I know he’s a successful businessman who’s re-made the wrestling business and killed WCW. I also know’s an egomaniac and that his continued presence onscreen only reveals his insecurities. Speaking of revealing insecurities, he then dresses Teddy Long down. And since we can’t call it a “cage match” because it’s too southern wrasslin’ it’s a “Rage in the Cage” match. Great, Teddy Long is on probation You know, fuck Vince and fuck this shit. Moving on…

-R-Truth comes out rapping, but Vince won’t say What’s up. After a commercial, Sheldon Benjamin comes out and speaks. Benjamin says some stuff that confirms that all the writers have to be white. Stuff about education and speaking properly. The delivery wasn’t so bad. What he was saying just continued to drag down this show further.

- R Truth vs. Shelton Benjamin

Since I can’t rewind or fast forward that easily, no times this week. The good news is this match got a fair amount of time and had a chance to develop. The bad news is that it was dreadfully boring because Sheldon Benjamin on offense does not equal success. He wrestles with so little aggressiveness and passion that it’s hard for me not to tune out. The best example was this backbreaker that he executed. He put so little effort into it that it killed the match even further. R-Truth might not be technically sound sometimes, but at least he’s exciting and brings some personality forward. R-Truth wins with what JR called “The Lie Detector.” It’s just his spinkick thing.

Winner: R-Truth

-More Vince. He talks to Rey Rey. Rey Rey speaks Spanish. Teddy Long is next to Vince as Vince points out we only speak English on Smackdown. Racial overtones and now this? What did President Obama do to piss him off now?

- Alicia Fox and Michelle McCool vs. Gail Kim and Melina

Cause this is going to help the show out at this point. Melina and McCool will meet at “The Bash.” I’m sooooooooooo excited for that. Melina gets kicked in the face by McCool, and her post-show plans must now be changed. I love how Gail Kim, chick who can actually wrestle, gets jobbed out. McCool wins with the Fairthbreaker. Gim loses to the bastardized version of the Styles Clash for a third time. I really hate Vince McMahon.

-Two worst words in the English language put together at this point. More Vince. This time he talks with CM Punk. Punk gives this look at the camera as if to say “Look at this goof.” I laughed heartily at this. That redeemed this segment, even when Punk spouted the garbage about being addicted to competition. He says it in such a mocking way that I can’t even be angry anymore.

-Brief discussion of The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler  match that takes place Sunday. Again, thank God I’m not spending forty bucks on that show.

-It’s now time for the first edition of Cryme Time’s Word Up. I guess this is a new weekly segment that’s intended to be funny but isn’t. This was so mind-boggingly awful. They basically rip off Urban Dictionary by defining some word that is something resembling English but really just further bastardizes our language. Jesse interrupts and raps. Great, we have another John Cena rip-off. Where’s Vince to fire all three of these yabos?

- NON-TITLE MATCH: CM Punk © vs. John Morrison

Thank God. Very slow build before the commercial. Always appreciated since that means this is getting 15 minutes. The crowd kinda sat on their hands, but by the end they were going bonkers. Some great maneuvers here as they improved on their series of matches from 2007 ECW.  The ending was also very creative as it ended up being a series of reversals leading into Morrison holding Punk’s  shoulders together for three. Great great match that I almost enjoyed more than Morrison’s with Edge because it leaves the door wide open for these guys to do a match at the following Pay-Per-View. They didn’t even hit any of their big moves, but found a way to have a great wrestling match. Morrison is not all the way there as a babyface, but by continuing to have these kinds of matches, he’s going to be a world champion very soon. The show is saved from an abyss of suck.

Winner: CM Punk

-Punk goes to shake Morrison’s hand… and he plants with a Go 2 Sleep. He then puts his hands to his head as if to wonder what he has just done. This only leaves more doubts about whether he’ll turn or not. Honestly, I don’t think the WWE is quite sure at this point. If Mysterio and Hardy were staying for sure, I think Punk would complete this subtle turn Sunday, but I’m not quite sure at this point. He could still very easily turn, but I’d rather see them wait.

-Josh Mathews interviews Chris Jericho. He asks a dumb question about why Jericho wants to unmask Mysterio. Josh has been paying far too much attention to ECW and not enough Smackdown obviously. One final go home promo that serves its’ purpose as Jericho adds another layer by pointing out how he saved himself and wants to save Mysterio once and for all.

-JR and Tool Grisham talk about “The Bash.” Glad it’s no longer a secret. Here’s the card:

- John Cena vs. The Miz

- NO DQ Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Great Khali

- WWE Women’s Title Match: Melina © vs. Michelle McCool
- IC Title vs. Mask Match: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio
- Unified Tag Team Title Match: Carlito and Primo Colon © vs. Legacy
- ECW Title Scramble Match: Tommy Dreamer © vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry
- World Title Match: CM Punk © vs. Jeff Hardy
-WWE Title Three Stages of Hell Match: Randy Orton © vs. HHH
- (The 1st Fall is a Regular Match, The 2nd Fall is Falls Count Anywhere Match, If Needed, the 3rd Fall is a Stretcher Match.)

-The cage comes down, and here we go.

-Vince and Teddy talk to Jeff Hardy.

-Punk looks like a moron in the referee’s shirt with no pants.

- CAGE MATCH: Chris Jericho and Edge vs.  Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy

Very odd rules since you could by pinfall, submission, or one person escaping the cage. This was another really good match as the heat segment was on Mysterio. Basic tag team wrestling within the cage as Jericho and Edge work quite well together. Of course, the guest referee becomes involved as Punk gets speared by Edge after Hardy ducks. Punk sells the rib injury for the rest of the match. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate but with Punk behind him isn’t trusting enough to finish the job. Edge hits the spear on Hardy for the three count. Punk was noticeably reluctant to make the count.

Winners: Edge and Chris Jericho

Final Thoughts: Between Sheldon Benjamin’s speech, the way Vince was treating Teddy Long, and Cryme Time, that was an awfully uncomfortable first half. The Vince McMahon stuff was awfully disturbing too. I’m just so tired of his ego infesting every show he’s on. Honestly, he screeches to a halt any show he’s on. I can see the ending a mile away. Teddy keeps trying to impress, but it doesn’t matter. Teddy is going to get fired. He’s going to get humiliated. Vince will entertain himself, play the bully once again and no one else care.

Thankfully the new Smackdown six of Edge, Jericho, Punk, Hardy, Mysterio, and Morrison save the show once again in the second half. I cannot emphasize enough how awesome these six guys have been with their matches. The interviews have a little to be desired in some cases, but the match quality makes up for it. And in some cases, Jericho is so awesome that Mysterio doesn’t need to say a word to get the fans on his side.

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Before we get to the show, I just want to apologize for the lateness of the report this week. Life interjected itself this weekend. I’ve never had such a mix of emotions as the weekend was both satisfying and frustrating at the same time. The details are much too boring, but I just want to again apologize and say this won’t happen next week.

Last week… if you want to know what happened so bad just read the report. Also,  read Winton’s RAW report if you want to hear about all the Smackdown developments that took place on that show. Needless to say both of the Smackdown championship matches were quite awesome and made RAW palpable. The rest sucked a big one.

-Taped from a van down by the river…

-Your hosts are Tool Grisham and JR

We begin with Josh Mathews in the ring to interview the number one contender for the world heavyweight title, Jeff Hardy. Brand split? Where? They basically show the important parts of “Extreme Rules.” Boy, if you spent 40 bucks on this show, I bet you feel like a sucker. I did watch Punk win the belt about four times though. God, that was awesome. We also go back to Monday and watch Punk take advantage of another situation to pick up the victory. Hardy cuts a cookie cutter promo. Blah blah. Finally Punk comes out and the crowd boos. Morons. Mathews implies that Punk stole another victory. What? Punk responds accordingly and makes some excellent points about not stealing the victory. “Our differences will collide.” Who wrote that line? Jesus Christ, Hardy sounds like a tool every time he opens his mouth. Mathews has everyone in the audience give Hardy and Punk a hand. Punk gets booed again. Blah opening segment. The positive is Hardy will stay in the ring to take on his opponent in the opener.

- Non-Title Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho ©

While I like the thought of this as the opener, I’m sad that we don’t get a promo and that Jericho won’t be around later. JR calls this a special attraction because there are no such things as wrestling matches in the WWE Universe. Crowd gives the match some extra heat since Hardy is involved. Gives the match more juice. Jericho controls much of the match and even pulls out an abdominal stretch. He becomes more and more like Nick Bockwinkel every single week. Not complaining mind you, just observing. Hardy comes back with the usual including a whisper in the wind. Hardy tries a twist of fate but Jericho counters before missing a lionsault. Hardy with a facebuster and an attempted swanton that turns into a missed dive onto the floor. Jericho rams Hardy back and forth into. Rey Rey comes through the crowd and hits a hurancanrana on Jericho leading to a count-out win. Mysterio then goes back into the crowd where two other folks are dress like Rey Rey. Criminally short, but I liked the angle a lot. A couple weeks ago, Jericho came out of nowhere and beat up Rey Rey through the crowd. Now Rey Rey gets his revenge and the mask proves to be an advantage. Awesome.

Time/Winner: 4:56/Jeff Hardy

Jeff Hardy hits the twist of fate and a swanton after the match. Well, that wasn’t very nice.

Maria, Layla, and Eve are in the back. They discuss the political ramifications of President Obama’s healthcare plan and then bring up some mighty fair points about the advantages of government-sponsored healthcare. Eve and Layla disagree, however, on just how far the government should take socialized medicine. See, Layla believes that the competitiveness of doctors will decrease since their income potential will dip slightly while Eve believes the needs of those without healthcare are more important than doctor’s salaries. Maria attempts to moderate by trying to find common ground but she is unsuccessful. Finally, Dolph Ziggler walks in and settles the argument by pointing out that socialized medicine works in countries like Canada and Sweden to the point where their quality of life is far greater than of those in the United States. Or something like that.

If you actually buy that, then you must also believe they’re smart, strong, and beautiful.

- Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

Okay, this feud has fallen under the banner of entertaining crap the last few weeks, but I think we need to find something else for these two people to do. Judging by the decency of the matches Ziggle has carried Khali to; I propose we move him on to trying to cure cancer and AIDS. Part of me thinks that might be easier. Ziggler gets beaten from pillar to post before working on the leg. Ziggler’s gloves are sooooooooo gay. He tries to take off the top turnbuckle, but Singh prevents it. Ziggler then goes for a chair, but he gets it punched back at him. Ziggler fakes being hit by the chair and gets Khali disqualified. Smart move. Cheap ending.

Time/Winner: 2:05/Dolph Ziggler

This feud really needs to end quickly.

Come back from commercial and we get to see the “RAW Rebound.” I fast forward. Again, read Matt Winton’s article if you’re curious. I sat through three hours of that garbage and don’t care to see the lowlights again.

- Non-Title Match: Melina © vs. Alicia Fox

Fox’ hair looks more in control then I previous weeks. Michelle McCool looks mighty do-able. The Undertaker should not read this next sentence. Seeing her tonight… I wanna do things to her that are illegal in 48 states. Okay, ‘Taker can come back now. I maintain my stance of not doing any play-by-play for divas matches. Grisham says Melina is more flexible then Gumby. Does that make Fox Pokey? Alicia does stuff. Melina does stuff. Melina wins with a Jig’n’Tonic in another breezy match.

Time/Winner: 1:44/Melina

McCool attacks Melina after the match. I’m turned on…. Until McCool speaks. Then…poof… the illusion is ruined. McCool says she’s not going to just beat Melina. She’s go to… HUMILIATE HER! OH THE HUMANITY! ANYTHING BUT THAT! Oh great, they’re meeting at the secret WWE Pay-Per-View taking place on June 28. Glad I’m not spending 40 bucks for that show.

- Edge vs. John Morrison

If this goes two minutes, Jerome will symbolize his anger by taking off his watch and hat. Edge cuts a promo and says he was robbed of his proper rematch. See, when the heel complains, it’s okay because he’s supposed to be hated. He then turns his attention to John Morrison and picks on him for a bit. Morrison walks to the ring, and Edge says he’s another kid who wants to be like him. Awesome. Morrison calls Edge predictable and uses a Canadian accent. L-A-M-E. He even mocks Edge’s ex-wife. Well, that’s dumb considering the reasons for the marriage and all the success Edge had because of it. Morrison needs to work on his babyface promos. Watch some Dusty Rhodes or Ricky Steamboat. That was bowling shoe ugly.

What you’ve got in this match is an established main eventer going against one of the young guns. It’s almost inconceivable to think of Edge not being in a world title program, but that’s where he’s at right now. Very basic to start as it’s obvious we’re not getting a two minute special here, but a wrestling match. Yay. Morrison works the arm for a bit before Edge uses some caginess to get the match to his advantage. Morrison gets hooked in the rope and Edge rams his body for the first two count of the match. Morrison makes Edge east fit in the corner and gets a dropkick for a two count of his own. Edge sends Morrison to the outside by ramming his neck onto the top rope as we head to commercial. Edge uses the hair as we re-join the action. Edge works the ribs but as he tries the hair again, Morrison comes back with a version of a backbreaker. Shining wizard for a two. Pace starting to pick up. Edge slows it down again and when he goes to the top rope, he gets a leg kick. Morrison dives outside and ranas Edge into the steps. 1-2…no. Morrison misses a jump kick, and Edge hooks in the sharpshooter. Bet Morrison is regretting making fun of Canadians now. Morrison reaches the ropes, but he’s in trouble. He does manage a two and Russian leg sweep. He sets up for starship pain but Edge reverses and sets him on the top rope. Tree of woe doesn’t work well as Morrison rolls Edge up. Morrison gets rammed into the corner. Edge misses a spear and Morrison hits a flippy leg move for another two. Moonlight drive reversed into an implant DDT. 1-2… NO! Morrison rounters into another DDT. 1-2… NOOOOO! Starship pain misses. Edge hits the spear, and it finally gets three. I’m not into star ratings, but this was very solid and hovering around four stars. For the second straight week, Morrison has the best free television match. If you’re looking for an early candidate for Money in the Bank next year, look at one John Morrison.

Time/Winner: 13:28 shown/Edge

The heels don’t even get an entrance for the upcoming six man tag. Dollars to doughnuts this was done in preparation for the commercial free RAW. Ricky Ortiz is in the ring. Hold on guys.

*SPOILER ALERT*

Ricky Ortiz sucks… a lot.

*END OF SPOILER ALERT*

- R-Truth and Cryme Tyme vs. Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas and Ricky Ortiz

K-Kwik and Cryme Tyme together at last. Maybe Benjamin and Haas can get a win. Don’t hold your breath. You’ve got the world’s greatest tag team in there so of course Ortiz starts. K-Kwik is an explosive babyface perfectly suited to start a multi-man match so of course JTG starts. It also makes sense that least talented and biggest member of the face team gets beaten up in the heat segment. As I type that, Kwik comes in and Benjamin joins him. They have an energetic sequence, but it’s not very good. Finally, it’s Katie Bar the Door with all six men going at it. Benjamin and K-Kwik are left in the ring. He hits his corkscrew elbow for three. Benjamin jobs again. Shocking. Least the right babyface won.

Time/Winner: 4:04/R-Truth and Cryme Tyme

Come back for Rey Rey’s entrance. Oh no. Now he’s cutting a promo. New Smackdown rule: Rey Rey does not get to cut a promo, especially if Jericho doesn’t cut one on the same show. Oh wait. Here comes Jericho with a microphone. Yay. The end game of this little exchange is it’s now mask versus title at the WWE’s secret Pay-Per-View. There’s your reason to buy the show. The only reason. Blatant edit job during Jericho’s promo and I’m very curious about what was said to cause that. If nothing else, this is the best I-C title feud in quite some time.

- Non-Title Match: Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk ©

I believe this is the second time in about a month that the Intercontinental champion is wrestling the world heavyweight champion. Jericho joins the commentary booth. If he slapped Tool Grisham, he’d be the biggest babyface in the company. These two had a dynamite match at Armageddon, but they won’t get near the time. My God, Punk is selling the knee injury from Monday. Continuity from show to show? In WWE? Since when? Mysterio with some kicks early, but misses the 619. Mysterio rams himself into the post as we come back. Punk works the shoulder, as Jericho notes his interest in seeing Rey Rey getting beat up. Punk with more shoulder work. Exchange of kicks leads to a crossbody by Rey Rey. Ram into a corner by Punk leads to a headscissors by Rey Rey. Another attempt at the 619 but Punk counters again. Great back and forth sequence. Jericho complimenting Punk is another nice tease of the heel turn… if it comes. Another 619 fails. Go 2 Sleep also fails. Mysterio uses an innovative roll-up for two. Another Go 2 Sleep, but Rey Rey is deposited to the outside. Jericho takes an opportunity to interfere and rams Rey Rey into the post. The difference is Rey Rey gets back into the ring. Unfortunately, it’s Go 2 Sleep time. Punk continues his winning streak and sells the knee. Jeff Hardy runs into the ring and complains at Punk for winning because of the interference.

Time/Winner 8:17 shown CM Punk

My hunch is that this sets up a tag team match next week between Mysterio and Hardy against the team of Jericho and Punk. Should be fun.

Final Thoughts: I really enjoyed the show for the most part. Morrison and Edge made this an easy thumbs up, and I’m pondering whether or not they’ll meet at the Pay-Per-View as well. Also interesting to see the world champion and number one contender both win matches thanks to interference and seemingly take a backseat to the Intercontinental championship angle. I think the title vs. mask stipulation would work a lot better on the show people actually watch, RAW, and with more than a lousy nine days of build-up. Still, this week was a big thumbs up and Smackdown continues to be the best weekly wrestling show.

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Until we find a permanent reviewer, I feel an obligation for WWE Smackdown to be recapped on a weekly basis since it’s pretty much the best wrestling show of the week. I wrote about in my “Ring Around Wrestling” column last Thursday, which can be found elsewhere on the site. So until further I’m Jerome Cusson, and this… is… SMACKDOWN.

Last week, Jeff Hardy defeated Edge and got to pick the stipulation of their upcoming match at “Extreme Rules.” They’re going to follow up a Pay-Per-View quality television match with a ladder match. I approve. Also Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio were booked for a No-Holds-Barred match. Pretty generic but the talent involved should make it a borderline MOTYC. Also, Youmanga SPOKE!!!! And challenged C.M. Punk to a Samoan Strap match. Wonder if it’s the same as the Yappapa strap match Flair and Hogan had back at Uncensored 2000. I sense half the audience just went “Huh?” so I move onto the show.

Rey Mysterio’s theme hits, and noticeably absent is the opening theme. Since it sucks, I approve. The bad part is I still have to Rey Rey’s music… which also sucks. Remember when wrestling shows used to open with wrestling matches. Every single WWE (and TNA program) just has to begin with a 20 minute promo. Tonight will be “Team Ego” (as Jim Ross puts it) of Edge and Jericho against Rey Rey and Jeff Hardy in the main event. This was supposed to be the main event a few weeks ago. Good match to build the Pay-Per-View. You’d think competent people were booking this show or something.

Mysterio talks some Spanish, but then gets to business as he talks about his match with Jericho. This promo is awful and really cookie cutter. Seriously, just let Jericho do all the promo work and let these two wrestle. Putting a microphone in front of Rey Rey has never led to anything good. Thankfully, your hero and mine Chris Jericho (w/suit) interrupts and he coldly calculatingly talks trash about Mysterio. Segment numero uno saved by Jericho. Remind me to send this man a thesaurus for Christmas. Rey Rey talks and says Jericho’s words don’t mean anything. Ha.

Mickey Rourke is in attendance for another WWE show. Oh, maybe he’ll “break his wrist” again. God, what a worker. Jericho goes to the outside and talks to Rourke, calling him worthless. Well, he must have followed Mickey’s boxing career too. Onto some mask talk as we ratchet up the goodness again. Jericho says he’s going to take the mask off and says it will be his downfall. He tries to cheap shot him, but Rey Rey responds but does not get the 619. Minor thumbs up for this because of Jericho’s awesomeness.

- R-Truth and The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler and Mike Knox

I hate play-by-play, so look elsewhere if you want every single move described. A few weeks ago, I could have cared less about any of these four people. Okay, so I still don’t actually care, but at least this match makes sense, and the mid-carders have something to do. Plus, Ziggler COULD be a big star for WWE down the line.   R-Truth and Mike Knox have each defeated each other in singles matches the last two weeks while Ziggler and Khali have been playing cat and mouse games. Khali rapping is quite a site.

Truth and Ziggler thankfully start and have a nice exchange. The cat and mouse games continue with Ziggler avoiding Khali. Knox and Khali are in the same ring, and I wonder why I decided to review this show. This doesn’t last long before R-Truth gets tagged in, and we have our heat segment. R-Truth tags in Khali and we have the big man dream match once again. Khali finally gets his hands on Ziggler for a brief moment and almost kills him with an attempted chokeslam. Ziggler ditches his partner leading to a Khali pinfall victory. Not horrible or anything.

Time/Winner (s): 4:04/Khali and R-Truth

Truth and Khali dance some more.

Goody. Melina is up next.

- Non-Title Match: Alicia Fox w/Michelle McCool vs. Melina ©

This is basically a handicap match with Alicia Fox’s hair the way it is. They show a clip from the awful awful Melina promo from last week. There was a brief moment when Melina seemed to be getting better wrestlingwise. However, ever since coming back from her injury, she’s sucked a big one… in the ring you perverts. This is also building to some women’s title match between Michelle McCool and Melina at some point. Can’t wait to review that either.

Melina uses a nice matrix move early, so we’ve avoided negative stars. Fox takes over after a distraction by McCool. This is at least better then Kelly Kelly and Maryse’s match. Being taped no doubt helps. Melina gets the advantage back but once again loses it to due a distraction by McCool. Melina wins with what Ross calls a “Primal Scream.” Bet Morrison has heard that before. Match was too short to mean anything, but at least it was better than the Divas match on Monday.

Time/Winner (s): 2:32/Melina

McCool hands Melina her championship as Tool Grisham says these two will meet “sometime in the future.” What I took from that was, “The bookers have no idea what they’re doing week-to-week, so it could happen at any time.”

Josh Matthews interviews John Morrison who’s wrestling Umaga tonight. Morrison doesn’t cut a very sterling promo, and I think he comes off way too cocky to be a babyface. Sheldon Banjamin comes in and says they have unfinished business. Morrison rightfully points out he’s beaten Benjamin twice and beaten Haas too. Please let this program end.

Promotion of the Smackdown main event at “Extreme Rules.” We see a video package showcasing Jeff Hardy in various ladder matches. A very well done piece of business that serves to hype the show well. Only thing I wish they had pointed out is that Edge has won more ladder matches then just about anyone in WWE and has just as much experience as Hardy does in this type of match. Then Hardy comes to cut a promo. It’s too bad that Hardy is apparently leaving at the end of the summer because he’s become so much better on the stick and in the ring. Interesting to note that Hardy said the feud will end at the Pay-Per-View. That’s a lie since feuds never end in WWE. Then Hardy leaves. Couldn’t he have just said this in a backstage promo? Umaga comes out while Hardy is leaving. Wonder if they’re teasing a feud between these two. Anyway, this naturally segues into…

- John Morrison vs. Umaga

WWE still has so much work to do with Morrison as a babyface. Why in the hell are they having this match? There are like a billion people on the roster who could take what should be a pretty big beating. And believe me, I realize that Umaga needs this match more by virtue of the fact that he’s got the strap match at “Extreme Rules.” Oh. God. They’re doing the four corners rule. Well, that match is now officially a failure.

Morrison uses his resourcefulness to gain an early advantage and even leaps onto Umaga on the outside. Can’t believe Morrison is taking so much of this match. Just as I type that, Umaga takes over with a big samoan drop. Of course we take a commercial break. Grrrr. I hate that. Come back with Umaga in a resthold so I guess we didn’t miss a whole lot. Huge superkick send Morrison flying to the floor in a cool spot. Replays make it look (and sound) even better. Another huge move, this time a clothesline. Vulcan nerve pinch (Hey, certainly looks like that to me) by Umaga as the crowd… doesn’t do a whole lot. There’s about ten people cheering while everyone else is kinda sitting on their hands. Umaga almost injures Morrison on a botched throw, and he looks gassed. Morrison finally comes back with a DDT and then a nearfall. He uses his speed to try and get the big man down, but Umaga uses a chop to the throat and takes over. Miss in the corner and Morrison comes off the ropes with a kick. Umaga hits Morrison with the strap for a disqualification. So after some ten minutes, we get a crappy ending to end a boring match. I didn’t want Morrison to lose, but Umaga really needed an emphatic victory to build up the drama with he and Mr. Punk.

Time/Winner (s): 11:32 (9:32 shown)/John Morrison

Umaga continues to beat up Morrison with the strap in the corner until Punk uses the briefcase to finally get some measure of revenge against Umaga. Punk even gets to cut a promo, and he gets to show off some of the dickishness that made him awesome in Ring of Honor. One of the better promos he’s had since he came to WWE.

- Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs. Cryme Time

This actually has a reason for happening as Cryme Time came out during a tag match involving Primo and Carlito against The World’s Greatest Tag Team 24 hours earlier on “Superstars.” We see what happened, and I thought that ruined what was a decent tag team match. For the record, I can’t stand Cryme Time and think they’re highly annoying. Benjamin has had so many stops and starts a single that I’m hoping being reunited with Haas gives both of them something to do.

Pretty basic match that includes yet another freakin’ commercial break. They really need to cut this out. Not only because I try and time these matches, but because it’s hard to go in and out of trying to get into match. The Los Angeles crowd continues to be among the worst I’ve seen for a WWE show in quite some time. Man, I hate the west coast. It was at least nice to see this match get a little bit of time attached to it. I think a better crowd would have helped, but WWE was kicked out of Colorado, so we got stuck with a lame California crowd. Eventually, Benjamin hits his finisher (Pay Dirt) for the victory. Wow, he actually won a match. Can’t say that too often these days.

Time/Winner (s): 9:37 (7:37 shown)/Sheldon Benjamin and Charlie Haas

A recap of the scintillating feud between Eve and Layla. This might be the dumbest feud on Smackdown. After seeing the backstage fight from two weeks ago, I’ll go out on a limb and say it is the worst.

- Eve vs. Layla

I’m not bothering. I could not possible give a rat’s ass about this feud or this match. Three divas matches in one week is about two too many, especially considering five of the six women involved are terrible in the ring. In this situation, I can see why the crowd sat on their hands. Eve wins and one can only hope this feud is over. Sadly, I get the impression it isn’t .

Time/Winner (s): 3:08/ Eve

Up next is the main event. Edge and Jericho have an awkward confrontation. This is immediately better then just about anything on this show. Jericho says Edge should have the match by himself. Cause that’s what WWE needs. Yet another handicap match where the babyfaces have the advantage. Edge also gets time to talk and says the two words to describe Jeff Hardy are “wasted opportunities.” Edge brings up the point about owning the ladder match. THANK YOU. Someone in the WWE is actually thinking and using their brains. Great promo that also speaks the truth. I remember when I used to rag on this guy. Well, he’s probably the best reason to watch Smackdown (other than Jericho).

Jericho’s music plays, and there’s no site of him. Rey Mysterio comes out but is suddenly attacked by a masked man from the crowd. Wait, that’s Jericho attacking. Brilliant piece of business as more quality heat is built for their match. Only question is whether the mask is going to be put on the line at “Extreme Rules” or whether they smartly wait. Jericho tries to pull the mask off and Hardy finally makes the save.

- Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy vs. Edge and Chris Jericho

Sadly, this remains a handicap match, but at least the heels have the advantage this time. This is a step up for the WWE universe. It’s pretty run-of-the mill with Hardy getting some early spots beating up the heels before the numbers game becomes too much. Hardy comes back and heel miscommunication almost gets him the win. Jericho and Edge’s attempt at a double team fails and Hardy gets a Whisper in the Wind. Spear by Edge gets a three count for the heels. Grisham calling the heels “The Egomaniacs” was also

Time/Winner (s): 7:15/Edge and Chris Jericho

Edge brings out a ladder and nails Hardy with an awfully stiff shot. Then he sandwiches Hardy in the ladder and stands over him. I’d like to know where Jericho went. He just literally disappeared. End of show.

Final Thoughts: Los Angeles was the site for one of the worst weeks of television WWE has put on in quite some time. Chris Jericho and Edge did some decent promos and the beating of Rey Rey did a fine job of building to the Pay-Per-View, but there were no real quality wrestling matches. Also, a dead crowd did this show no favors since a dead crowd kills even the best of matches. Bad show this week, but I’ll just write it off as a bad week and get excited for the go home Smackdown next Friday.

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Last week, I discussed ECW’s greatness extensively. This week, I want to talk about WWE Smackdown. Unfortunately, the show airs in the Friday night death slot. The most recent draft took three really great mid-card wrestlers from RAW and shifted them to Smackdown. C.M. Punk, Chris Jericho, and Rey Mysterio are now main eventers and major focuses of the television program. Combine them with a couple younger talents and Smackdown is now the show to watch for good storytelling and wrestling… except for the lousy diva/Cryme Time angle.

Edge has been with Smackdown for the last three years, but it feels like this guy is the franchise of the brand. It took eight years for him to become a world champion, but since then he’s won nine. Just goes to show you how worthless belts are these days. I can’t say I was an Edge until very recently. His match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania along with the subsequent feud with the dead man really turned me around to this guy. He’s become one of the rare guys that can draw real good heat and now somehow turn himself face. Edge will continue to be a big time player for this brand, and he’s got a host of rising young babyfaces to contend with.

Sadly, Jeff Hardy doesn’t ever look like he’ll be the guy. He once again lost a world title match, something that has become a pattern. Hardy is an interesting case because he’s always over with a certain segment of the audience (young girls), and actually appears to be improving in-ring wise and promo-wise. For example, Hardy has managed to carry everyone from Vladimir Kozlov to Ricky Ortiz this past Friday. Unfortunately, his contract is running out, and he might be gone from WWE by the end of the summer. So enjoy him while you can.

Punk is of course a hometown Chicago boy, so I have clear bias towards him. Incredibly, this man has been a multiple-time champion in WWE, including a world heavyweight title reign during the summer of 2008. Thanks to the move over to Friday nights, Punk is getting a chance to wrestle guys close to his size. More importantly, he’s away from people that the WWE think are their biggest stars such as John Cena, Batista, and Triple H. With his second consecutive “Money in the Bank,” Punk is a threat to win the world title at any time. Even though he did a clean job to Umaga in the opener of “Judgment Day,” look for Punk to perhaps be the top face on Smackdown for the rest of 2009, particularly if Jeff Hardy leaves the company.

Chris Jericho might be the most entertaining personality in the whole company. For the last ten years, even going back to his WCW days, this is a man who had long hair and cut promos with a squeaky voice that made him hard to really take seriously. Even though he was the first undisputed champion, Jericho was never a guy WWE seemed to trust to really carry the ball.

When Jericho returned to WWE after a three year absence, I wasn’t sure it was worth it. What could this man possibly have to prove? As he limped through the first few months and even had an intercontinental title reign, I still wasn’t quite sure how smart of a move Jericho made in coming back to wrestle. Then the feud with Shawn Michaels happened.

Anyone who has not gotten a chance to see the matches during the last year has missed out on a great deal. The feud was basically everything WWE in general hasn’t been the last few years. Exciting. Engaging. Emotional. If WWE had the good sense to stick with it a few more months, they could have blown it off at Wrestlemania 25 and made the rivalry even more epic. As it is, the feud was just very good. Jericho has a lot of freedom to book his own material and essentially write for himself. That’s why his feuds tend to make more sense and why they’re the best things on the show.

So there you have it. Just a few reasons to catch Smackdown every week, be it on Friday or on your DVR. Next week, we turn up the negativity as it’s Jerome vs. Ring of Honor.

Later.

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Each week I’m going to have a general column covering a wide variety of topics in the world of professional wrestling. Thanks to my friend Matt Woronko for providing me with this column name. Matt Woronko… yes.

Every time I read the various news sites and messageboards, I get to hear about how sucky the world of professional wrestling is. The old days were better while all the new wrestlers/superstars just plain suck. Amazing how that thinking seems to apply to every generation.

Ever since the draft (and also because I’m running this here website, I’ve re-dedicated myself to catching RAW, ROH, ECW, Smackdown, and Superstars. What has shocked me most is well produced and written one of the WWE brands in particular has been. This week I want to highlight ECW. It may not be as extreme, but there is still a lot to embrace.

I know people have a bad taste in their mouth because this isn’t what ECW was originally all about. I happen to agree with many of the complaints, but if the brand’s letters didn’t add up to E-C-W, I don’t think people would be so quick to whine and complain.

Since all good brands start out at the top, let’s look at the ECW champion, Christian. I wasn’t sure WWE would give him a chance when he made his return after three years in TNA, but through sheer force of will, the man has gotten himself over to the point of being able to carry the mantle of ECW champion. It may not hold a great deal of prestige, but this is a veteran who knows what he’s doing in the ring and isn’t a walking screw-up. I honestly don’t see him in the same light as a Chris Jericho or Edge from a wrestling standpoint, but he’s a great guy to have in ECW. The old “big fish in a small pond” theory. Why bury him in mid-card feuds or get lost in the background on another brand when he can main event on another and give fans a reason to watch this television program every Tuesday.

The man Christian beat has also impressed the heck out of me too. Jack Swagger is relatively new to WWE and is a little rough around the edges, particularly on the microphone, but he’s got a tremendous presence in the ring. And the cockiness seems to come naturally to him. Swagger will likely be shifted to one of the bigger brands soon, and he’ll definitely end up being one of the cornerstones of WWE. Until then, I hope that he and Christian continue to have matches as good as the one they had at Backlash.

Some of the other ECW guys that have shown me a lot include Evan Bourne. When he was Matt Sydal in Ring of Honor, I felt like he was just another flippy-flop guy; however, in WWE he really stands out with some of his maneuvers. His mic skills aren’t all that great either, but I think he carries himself like a natural babyface who can get sympathy from the crowd. That compensates a great deal for not being able to talk.

Tyson Kidd is a great smaller heel who I hope they continue to program with Bourne due to their comparative sizes. Having Natalya Neidhart around really adds something because it gives him an added dimension. That manager who’s competent enough to be able to credibly help her man win matches. For a smaller heel, I think this is such a crucial aspect to have, and it’s something WWE rarely does anymore because for whatever the reason, managers aren’t deemed to be important. A manager adds heat to a match and since it’s a hot women, the perception of him is immediately raised because the perception in our society is that beautiful women only associate with successful men.

Perhaps one of the most surprising aspects of both ECW and WWE in general is how Finlay has become a highly popular star. This guy was a hated heel who just stiffed everyone he got in the ring with back in WCW. Finlay was not gentile, never smiled, and just liked to beat people up. Thanks to Hornswaggle, Finlay was given a chance to embrace his softer side. Say whatever you want about Vince McMahon, but he’s the only person who could have a chance at making Finlay this kind of babyface. With his “son” now being drafted to RAW, I’d like to see him return to a guy who just loves to fight. However, I think he’s a great guy to have around to work with some of the younger heels or even babyfaces.

Of course things aren’t all rosy on ECW as there are a pair of stiffs who drag the roster down slightly.

Mark Henry has been around for years and years, yet having consistently watchable matches eludes him. Even putting former legend Tony Atlas with Henry has done nothing. Vladimir Kozlov continues to squash guys… and that’s about it. Watch any match more than five minutes containing the big Russian is a chore. The only possible way I think his in-ring work could improve is by getting into a program and having a series of matches with Finlay. Otherwise, I’d prefer to send Kozlov back to Russia.

Teddy Long used to be the GM of the brand until he got a promotion back to Smackdown. Since then, WWE has had Ms. Deerintheheadlights out pretending to be in charge. Tiffany is so remarkably awful that she circles around back to being entertaining again. I highly recommend going back to the May 5 edition of the show when she announces the main event. I could not possibly believe what was coming out of her mouth. She could say “My name is Tiffany” and the only thing I’d be convinced about is this woman has more air in her head than the Good Year blimp.

To me, the person who should be the GM of the brand is Tommy Dreamer. His contract is coming up in a few weeks, and rumors have surfaced about the possibility of him not returning to WWE and possibly even retiring from the ring. I know that Vince McMahon and WWE have never been fond of any of the originals. Hell, Dreamer is basically the last original left. Why not have Dreamer hang around and serve in this capacity? He can be a link to the past while also cutting far more credible promos then say… Tiffany.

The final piece to the ECW puzzle are the announcers. Todd Grisham somehow got a promotion to Smackdown, and the former “Tough Enough” star Josh Mathews is now doing play-by-play. His partner is the brilliant Matt Stryker. These two immediately had chemistry, and they’ve become the broadcast team in the whole company. Stryker has a knack for making great pop culture references and putting guys over. Stryker comes off like a huge Jack Swagger fan, and when you’ve got one announcer gushing over you, it can only benefit Swagger’s chances of getting over with the fans… errr, WWE Universe.

ECW should continue to be a solid one hour program with their current roster. Obviously, the huge stars that WWE consider to be their moneymakers are on the other brands, but there are some young highly talented athletes and a couple older veterans that can teach the kids how to work.

Next week, I’ll talk about the WWE brand that I’ve come to enjoy even more than ECW. Here’s a hint. It ain’t RAW.

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