Beckham: I love Zidane and I have really fabulous shoes

LA Galaxy supernova David Beckham recently surprised the soccer world when he was quoted as saying Zinedine Zidane was the best player ever. So I thought to myself... who do I think was the greatest player to ever step on the pitch? I went back and forth over Pele and Maradona. I thought too [read more...]

Lemon Pie (featuring Kid Rock droppings)

OK, this is going to be a pretty serious diatribe, mainly about the musical desecration that Kid Rock has graced us with in 2008. First and foremost, I don't enjoy being a critic unless it is warranted. And this is a moment where I have witnessed another atrocity in the world of music, further driving home my point [read more...]

Celtics Fan, You Should Have Married Your Childhood Sweetheart

I know you want it to be like the first time you locked sweaty hands in 7th grade with Suzie B. Kute, but I'm going to put it to you as bluntly as I can: 2008 Lakers vs. Celtics ain't 1987; not 1985; not even close. Celtics fan, I know you're still jazzed-up from the "Beat LA" victory in game one, [read more...]

Party tips for sports fans

Well, as usual, I have some really bad advice for any of the loyal lima bean disciples out there who have been following along. Just depending on how twisted of an individual you are at heart, this could be really important knowledge to carry with you in the quest of the perfect party. I just thought I would offer [read more...]

Giddy up, does Tom Brady in drag turn me on?

I'm pretty sure I don't want to know the answer to that, because it will most likely keep me awake at night, questioning my sexuality again. Is he pretty? Why do you make me sweat at night with your sexy touchdowns cute quarterback? What I do know is that Cate Blanchett playing Bob Dylan in the Zimmy biopic I'm [read more...]

Howard flying high in playoff losses

It's probably only a matter of time before congressman Henry Waxman is quizzing Josh Howard about whether or not he attended a party at Rasheed Wallace's house -- where he allegedly talked to a grower of Northern Lights. Waxman: "Do you have a medical condition that requires you to smoke dope Mr. Howard?" Howard: "When I have injuries, I just light [read more...]