Flattops, Afros, Euros and Oligarchs: How the NBA’s End Begins

A confession about my newspaper-reading habits. Even in tough times--actually, especially in tough times--I immediately open to the sports section, trying to avoid the headlines screaming about the world's problems. But lately, basketball news hasn't provided a refuge from stories about stagflation and the dollar's drop. And as a result, it's got me wondering: After surviving accusations of fixed drafts, [read more...]

Summerfest Sports Orgy Blitzkrieg Quiz

I'm feeling a little more A.D.D. than usual today. And being the super-spaz child that I am inside, I'm looking for answers to a thousand (and one) questions. Discuss amongst yourselves... please help me answer my most pressing doubts, concerns, and fears. Take your time... this is one of [read more...]

Soccer Basher Mad Tea Party

Dear FIFA, U.S. Soccer Fan, MLS, and Euro 2008: I know you want America to love you, but it's just not working out. You aren't trying hard enough to make this relationship blossom -- and I think you should seek counseling. The British-sounding guy doing all the Euro 2008 commercials just isn't sexy to America. You can do better soccer nation. If [read more...]

My Coach Vinny

I'm in danger of being labeled a Chicago Bulls "yes-man." I was okay with the Doug Collins hire – though I famously warned all of you that deals are not done until they're done, and I want credit for that, dammit – and now I'm okay with the Bulls (officially) hiring Vinny Del Negro instead. In fact, I'm better than okay. I [read more...]

Donaghy’s Allegations Threaten Stern, the NBA and Beyond

Tim Donaghy's initial allegations of game-fixing have finally come to light. Interestingly, what was known months ago is being divulged just weeks before his July 14 sentencing date. The timing of the release of allegations cannot have been accidental as it has allowed the conversation surrounding Donaghy's claims to be framed in a way that casts the deposed official and his [read more...]

The NBA Finals: And the Winner Is…

By June 19 either the Los Angeles Lakers or the Boston Celtics will be handed the Larry O'Brien trophy. When this occurs the two teams will have combined to win exactly half of the NBA championships - 31 of 62 - since the league's inception. But the question is: Which team will win number 31? The "Big Three" equals one Kobe. Think about [read more...]

Seriously? Doug Collins

The Boston Celtics are dealing with the pesky Detroit Pistons in a tough series. The Los Angeles Lakers are on the path to yet another championship. Now Doug Collins could become the Chicago Bulls head coach within the next couple days. We're apparently turning back the clock to the 1980s now. All we need is CBS to start doing games [read more...]

Dig on Doug, Dude

Let me begin with a caveat – Doug Collins is not (yet) the head coach of the Chicago Bulls. Sure, I'm a realist. I know these stories saying that "the deal is in place" don't come from nowhere; I'm prepared to accept that Bulls GM John Paxson and the excitable Mr. Collins have an agreement in principle, and that in all [read more...]

The Fall of a Non-Dynasty

When the San Antonio Spurs swept the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 2007 NBA Finals, it seemed to cement their status as the latest NBA dynasty – at least in the all-important court of public opinion. After all, winning four championships in nine years is a special achievement. And the Spurs are a lot of things. They're an incredibly well run franchise. [read more...]

Trade deadline: Washington needs new tight ends

After writing a recent column (Straight Guy for the Queer Eye: NBA Uniforms Still Not Gay Enough), I started to feel like a hypocrite. Because I suddenly realized I'm a politophobe. That's right. I'm politophobic. I don't like politicians. I don't like to be around them. I don't like them in the world or in the [read more...]

A father’s love?

As a brand new father, I can understand sticking up for your child when he or she makes a mistake. Supporting your child; loving your child... all good things. As a middle school teacher, I just don't understand what some parents are thinking. In my experience working in a wealthy area of Las Vegas, NV, parents are [read more...]

Kobe Bryant: The Jaundiced View of a Superstar

Right here before these playoffs end, before we get to the Finals, it is important to put Kobe Bean Bryant in some sort of perspective. His Los Angeles Lakers - and make no mistake, on the court they are his Lakers - are winning and winning big. They finished first in the highly-competitive Western Conference with a 57-win season. They [read more...]

Straight Guy For The Queer Eye: NBA Uniforms Still Not Gay Enough

When former NBA player John Amaechi became the first pro basketball player to announce that he was gay back in 2007, I was thoroughly impressed with his courage and hoped perhaps it was a beacon of light, an invitation for other homosexual athletes -- who might have been living a double life -- to reveal their true identity as Super [read more...]

How the Lakers Will Fare in the Western Conference Finals

For the Detroit Pistons 1989-1990 capped off consecutive runs that ended in Chuck Daly's team holding the Larry O'Brien Trophy. For the Chicago Bulls 1989-1990 marked consecutive seasons losing to Detroit in the Eastern Conference Finals. After that season, after losing 4-3 in the Eastern Conference Finals to the Pistons Bulls head coach Phil Jackson' team understood the leader's message and [read more...]

Candace Parker is totally badass … but you already knew that

The other day, Saturday I think it was, I caught a good piece of the WNBA game between the LA Sparks and the Phoenix Mercury, which had the notable distinction of being Candace Parker's first game ever in the WNBA, and she lived up to the hype. I am not really interested in the WNBA. I think it's a little bit [read more...]

Donaghy’s New Allegations Have A Very Real Past

"Anybody who tells you that Michael Jordan was suspended for a year because of gambling is lying. That's not what happened." That was one of ESPN's Mike Greenberg's statements in response to Tim Donaghy's lawyer's charge that other referees, coaches, and players were involved in gambling in the NBA: According to documents filed by the lawyer, John Lauro, Donaghy provided law enforcement [read more...]

Spurs Win and A Brief Conference Finals Preview

So I get out of the Rush only to find out that the San Antonio Spurs won game 7 in New Orleans. Excuse me while I puke in the corner. This next part will be posted on www.411mania.com later this week, but here is a brief preview of the NBA Conference Finals. (1) Boston Celtics vs. (2) Detroit PistonsCeltics in 7: Until [read more...]

Celtics Step Up

LeBron James and Paul Pierce has the kind of classic playoff duel that harkens back to the days of Bird against Wilkins. Because of Pierce's superior supporting cast stepping up and James missing key shots, the Celtics survived another seven game series. Despite the Celtics inability to play on the road, they've managed to win two series and will now [read more...]

Game 7’s to Decide Who’s for Real (Celtics vs. Cavaliers)

There is no greater phrase than "We go to game 7." All the predictions go out the window at this point because no matter what, anything can happen. For the Boston Celtics, they might be the team under the most pressure of the four teams. The acquistion of Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce should have at least made the first [read more...]

Defending the Sports Fan

I have recently been thrust into the unenviable position of having an in-law move in with my wife and me. A brief respite from the despair is the fact that it is the father-in-law, not the dreaded monster-in-law. However, from the sports-viewing perspective, the household has taken a hit. While my wife was always tolerable of me watching various things [read more...]

Jesus: The Saints sucked last year

What Would Jesus Blog? Well, I obviously cannot answer that without divine intervention. But a source close to Jesus -- speaking on the condition of anonymity for fear of the wrath of God and damnation to hell's fire -- tells me that The Chosen One is unhappy with plenty of things shaking out in the world, including the perennial letdowns [read more...]

Not a good time to be like Mike

[read more...]

MVP Kobe Does What the Greatest Do

There are beauties and there are beasts. In the NBA both are considered for MVP consideration. Chris Paul with his 21 points, 11.6 assists to only 2.5 assists, and league-leading 2.7 steals is a beauty. Kevin Garnett, who led the Boston Celtics to 66 victories and was the Defensive Player of the Year, is a beast. But neither won the MVP. The [read more...]

Wanted: Experienced Bulls fan for casual dating and intelligent conversation

Ok, I need someone to explain to me what the heck Mike D'Antoni is thinking? Has everyone become this greedy or am I missing something? I guess he is exploring his options instead of just taking the job with the Bulls? I don't claim to know all the details of what is going down in this card [read more...]

Bring in the Funk

The Chicago Bulls have already made some waves, but it's not in the hiring of a new coach. Tom Dore and Wayne Larivee, who have been calling Bulls' games since I can remember, will not be back for the 2009 campaign. Instead, the Bulls have seen fit to let both of the go and replace them with Neil Funk. I don't [read more...]

Obama no match for Hansbrough in NC primary

Despite a pretty sweet jumper for an "out-of-touch, pointy-headed elitist," Barack Obama is really no match for North Carolina Tar Heel senior Tyler Hansbrough. And if Tobacco Road -- Dukies excluded -- had its way, neither Obama nor Clinton would make it to the Big Dance in November. That's right. Because Hansbrough is a "PTP'er" and the unanimous [read more...]

Sources: Bulls promise not to fire D’Antoni until Valentine’s Day

I don't know if it's a match made in heaven, but it sounds like there is a love affair brewing between Suns' head coach Mike D'Antoni and the Chicago Bulls. It is Splitsville in Phoenix -- apparently both parties agreeing to "see other people" -- and D'Antoni is on the prowl after a disappointing exit in the NBA [read more...]

Americans finally considering GW trade to Baghdad

Politics can be a lot like sports, but not nearly enough -- as far as I'm concerned -- when it comes to hiring and firing of the people who manage the land; your land; my land. When someone isn't getting the job done in baseball -- batting average dropping below .200 -- they usually get benched or traded. [read more...]

Wost Pick Ever?

It was 24 summers ago, in June of 1984, that the Portland Trail Blazers made the biggest mistake since Japan provoked the United States into World War II. Equipped with the second pick in the best NBA Draft class of all-time, Portland decided to select University of Kentucky center Sam Bowie instead of future NBA Hall-of-Famers Charles Barkley, John Stockton, [read more...]

If Toby Keith wrote sports clichés …

Greatest Hits Volume I It's a Do or Die Situation (and I'm Drunk) I Love This Game (but not as much as this bar) I'm in a Zone (so gimme' another shot) Favre's a Hard Working Man Can't Buy a Bucket (to piss in) Sox is a Four Letter Word I Bet You're a Cubs Fan (and a Dixie Chicks Fan Too) Bar Clearing Brawl I Only Get Drunk [read more...]

Second Round Begins Tonight… First Round Ends… Sunday?

I'm very curious about something. How can the NBA possibly begin two second round series on a Saturday before the Boston Celtics and Atlanta Hawks have finished game 7? I realize that this has a lot to do with television and TNT wanting a nice sexy doubleheader tomorrow, but the fact is it doesn't make sense and strikes me as [read more...]

Howard flying high in playoff losses

It's probably only a matter of time before congressman Henry Waxman is quizzing Josh Howard about whether or not he attended a party at Rasheed Wallace's house -- where he allegedly talked to a grower of Northern Lights. Waxman: "Do you have a medical condition that requires you to smoke dope Mr. Howard?" Howard: "When I have injuries, I just light [read more...]

Does Detroit Really “Know What It Takes?”

"We've been here before." "We know what it takes." Those are the words out of Detroit right now. The first part is partly true. Detroit was here in the 2005-2006 playoffs against Cleveland. They appeared beaten but willed their way to a series win in seven games. But "we know what it takes?" Like last season about this time Detroit players were saying [read more...]

Josh Howard’s Near-Fatal Faux Pas

Was Josh Howard on drugs? How could Josh Howard, with his team down 2-0 to the New Orleans Hornets and Game 3 hours away, agree to go on the Michael Irvin Radio Show and reiterate to the world that he smokes marijuana during the offseason? And further, reiterate that he thinks most of the players in the league smoke pot. And [read more...]

The NBA’s Best Point Guard: If Not Chris Paul, Then Who?…

My "Chris Paul, the NBA, and the Flop Factor" article attracted scads of attention around the Internet... oops! For those who do not regularly read my writing and even for one person who does, the mention of "Louis Skola" went, understandably over people's heads; it was a purposeful Americanization of his name. Even after I added that explanation at the end [read more...]

Izzo to Bulls?

Reports are floating around today that the Bulls are interested in Michigan State head coach Tom Izzo. This would not be the first time he's been mentioned for NBA gigs. Izzo has made it known throughout the league he would listen if called. If I'm a Bulls fan, I'd be thrilled. If I'm a MSU fan, I'm worried (which I [read more...]

Chris Paul, the NBA and the Flop Factor

Chris Paul is overrated. Last night the New Orleans Hornets point guard became the first player in NBA history to start his career with at least 30 points, 10 assists, and three steals in a game. Beautiful. Paul is playing against an ancient point guard in Jason Kidd, an old team in Dallas, and with rules that, if followed, would stop him, [read more...]

Los Angeles Lakers vs. Denver Nuggets: A Repeat of Last Year’s #1 vs. #8?

Seven games separate the Los Angeles Lakers from the Denver Nuggets and some pundits believe L.A. is a clear favorite to defeat the Nuggets. Seven games separate the Boston Celtics and the Detroit Pistons and yet none of these pundits would predict that the Celtics would defeat the Pistons in anything other than a hard-fought six or seven game series. So [read more...]

Impact Players

It's unlikely there has ever been an NBA regular season with more intriguing storylines than the 2007-08 one. It started last summer, when both Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett were traded from last place teams in the Western Conference to the new Beast of the East, the Boston Celtics. That was followed by Lakers star Kobe Bryant demanding a trade, [read more...]

This Season’s NBA in Many Ways Resembles Another in the Distant Past

Every NBA pundit tells us that this season's Western Conference teams are like no other in NBA history. Should Denver win tonight at home against Memphis, every playoff team in the West will have won 50 games. Golden State, the 9th-place team in the West, ends its season tonight at home against the Seattle SuperSonics. Should the Warriors win they [read more...]

Searching – Unapologetically – for Larry Bird

On Cold Pizza's First and 10 the question was raised: Sage Steele introduced the segment by stating that the NBA has been on the quest for the next Larry Bird since - Larry Bird. She asked why no Bird-type white player has been found and stated that there is a "constant search for the next one." Talk about airing an open [read more...]

The MVP Debate

I've heard the NBA has an image problem . I've heard the Seattle SuperSonics, a team that won the 1979 NBA Championship and only three years ago won the Northwest Division with a 52-30 record, are on the verge of moving to Oklahoma City and their fans aren't all that happy. I know one of the league's premiere franchises, [read more...]

FSR Reviews the NBA Trade Deadline

Undoubtedly, this will go down as one of the greatest trade deadlines ever. And as much as the flurry of trades we've seen this month will change the landscape of the NBA, they will also have a huge impact on your fantasy league. So without further ado, here's the FSR review of the NBA trade deadline (note: I didn't include [read more...]

The Bogut Blackout: How the Truth Fails to be Told

Andrew Bogut spoke out in a Sydney Morning Herald newspaper feature by David Sygall on his perception of the state of America and it black NBA mirror. I included Bogut's words and my opinion of them in a Friday collection of sports briefs. People got - angry. They went off on Bogut. Slammed his words. Attacked him personally. Attacked his game. [read more...]

Where Have All the Shooters Gone?

NFL players have gotten bigger, faster, and stronger over the course of the last generation or so, and as a result, the game of professional football has never been played at a higher level. An offensive playbook resembles a Manhattan phone book these days, and the elaborate blitz packages employed by a Bill Belichick defense would have had Johnny Unitas [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Jackson Can’t Get His Fill of L.A.

One of my favorite comedies of all-time is Tommy Boy, the classic tale of fatty-does-right. In particular, one of the best scenes in the movie is when Chris Farley gets into a fistfight with David Spade, and as Farley is coming around the car to thrown down, Spade says, "You are going to regret volunteering for this assignment. I'm gonna [read more...]

Dragging MJ Through the Mud

In his Monday column, where he admonishes Michael Jordan for gambling, saying that it may unalterably taint the Airness' legacy, the Sun-Times Jay Mariotti says that according to former Wizards teammate Richard Hamilton, "…Jordan refused to leave the court until he had broken even in their regular competition of halfcourt heaves, regardless if he was down as much as a [read more...]

Hart Surgery: David Stern’s Rationale Not Racist

Recently, Jermaine O'Neal of the Indiana Pacers made a statement implying a proposed NBA age-limit had racist overtones. One of my colleagues has taken the stance that O'Neal is correct in his assessment. Though I respect their opinions and would die for their right to author them, I must humbly disagree. O'Neal is wrong in his assertion, and what's more, [read more...]

O’Neal’s Cries of Racism Worth a Listen

David Stern was not sitting by himself, reading Frederick Douglas, and thinking, "This guy is full of it." He was not perusing Mein Kampf under an apple tree when a plump Granny Smith struck a chord. Nor did he sit down to an evening on the History Channel during Black History Month and wonder to himself why Rosa Parks couldn't just [read more...]

Ron Artest Rapped in Mystery

Yogi was so wrong. If ninety percent of the game is mental, the other half isn't physical. It's music, err, rap. Ron Artest was already a walking caricature. We knew he was out of focus. Now we know the world he lives in must be just as out of focus to him. The enigmatic ballplayer…excuse me, ballplayer/aspiring music mogul has officially [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Master Debaters, Part Deux

Following the rousing success of the first debate between me and Tom (and by rousing, I mean my mother liked it), we came back this week for round two. Just like the presidential debate Friday night, this will be in a town hall forum, with each of us responding to questions asked by a panel of sports fans. In this case, [read more...]

Olympic Amateurism a Retired Fad

During these peculiar Olympics, where the drug testers should be on steroids, the sharp-shooting stars are holding AK47's, and politics seem to pole-vault to the top of the podium, have we become forgetful? What happened to our old hang-up, the horror of professionals competing with amateurs? These Olympics are filled with pro jocks, (as Karl might say) the former bane of [read more...]

Kobe Bryant Case a Predictable Plot

This was a meteor, or perhaps, a Hollywood meteor disaster movie. It had all the elements: total destruction, doom and despair, tears, tattoos, some new bling for the wife before Daddy goes to take on the disaster. It had it all. But the finale? Same ole'. Kobe Bryant will survive as the main character in this summer's Hollywood blockbuster court case. With [read more...]

NBA Free Agents “Gettin’ Paid”

Johnny Carson said that he knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex and rich food. And the man remained healthy ... right up to the time he killed himself. The NBA seems to have taken the opposite philosophy with some peculiar free agent signings, but teams could still suffer the same fate. Brian Cardinal, Marquis Daniels, Derek Fisher, Etan [read more...]

Coach K and the Lakers: A Perfect Fit

This used to be the other way around. If you’re like Mike Krzyzewski, and you love to coach -- just purely coach -- then what better place to be than on a beautiful, tranquil college campus with the talent of the land in your arena, playing for you? Perhaps Los Angeles. And as Krzyzewski today ponders, and potentially prepares to take over [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Seventh Heaven

Well, I suppose I should have kept my mouth shut about these NBA playoffs. A week after declaring this year's version the worst I'd ever seen, we saw two of the best games in playoff history. First the Lakers amazing win over the Spurs in Game 5 out West. I know I talked about it last week, but I cannot stress enough how big [read more...]

Hart Surgery: End of the Lake Show?

Most of the time, the sports world is a continuous spectacle. Season bleeds into season, sport merges with sport, and rarely does anything really stand out. Occasionally, an event will transcend like the Olympics, or a heavily anticipated title fight - but rarely does it involve a major sport. I would argue, however, that Game 5 Thursday night between the Lakers and Spurs is such [read more...]

Might and Right

For years, I have rallied against the unmitigated power of referees in basketball and umpires in baseball. The famous saying by Lord Acton "power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely" is certainly the case in relation to many old NBA refs and umpires. In the case of the umpires, it took a walkout and getting fired and not [read more...]

You Call That a Dunk?

The NBA held its annual mid-season showcase in Los Angeles this past weekend, and the once prized pupil has officially become the class clown. Back in the Magic-and-Bird days of professional basketball, the Slam Dunk Contest was perhaps the most eagerly anticipated event of the year. After witnessing Saturday night's debacle at the Staples Center, its future may resemble that of [read more...]

A Tale of Three Exhibitions

I have always felt that the only all-star game worth watching was baseball's - the oldest of the exhibition games. Baseball was "pure." The players played hard and tried to win, and it was a chance to see the best players from both leagues playing against one another.But with inter-league play, the best already play against one another, and despite [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Insomnia

I'm not sure what is keeping me up so much lately. Maybe I am restless because my time at Lehigh is beginning to wind down and like many of my peers I am confused about which path the rest of my life will follow. Or maybe it is because I can't figure out how Darvin Ham and Andrew DeClerq are [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Three things that make me happy about…Basketball

Three things that make me happy about the new NBA season… 1. The Wild Wild West- For the first time in recent memory, I am interested in the product the NBA is putting on the floor. I feel like Seinfeld in the episode where he discovered his emotions - all of a sudden, "I care!" To be fair, I don't really care - not about [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Rising from the Dead Season

The Stanley Cup ended Monday night. The NBA Finals will be over shortly. Once the final buzzer sounds (regardless of who wins), there will be alternately a giant groan and a long, sustained yell of exaltation and celebration. The groans will come from the men, who realize that sports' dead zone has just begun. The screams of joy will come [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Start the Carousel

Now that the season is over for all but two teams (it's just a matter of time, Dallas) in the NBA, the coaching carousel is about to get underway full-time. Already, many highly paid analysts for various newspapers, websites, and magazines have begun to weigh in on who will be coaching next season and where. Presumably these prognosticators have connections [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Chew on This

The last week has been an absolute blur to me. Driving back and forth from Syracuse to Bethlehem, PA, on Friday. Flying to Jackson, MS, on Sunday. Driving to Memphis, Tupelo, Oxford, and back to Jackson Monday and Tuesday. All this travel has left me weary, and struggling to focus on a topic for discussion for this week's column. Figuring [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Basketball Like It Oughtta Be

All year long there are good sports on television. Some games, or series, rise above the others and reach must-watch status. There aren't many, so you have to pay close attention when they come around. We were deprived of one of these recently, when both the Red Wings and Avalanche lost in the first round of the NHL playoffs. They [read more...]

Hart Surgery: The State of Sports Address

My fellow Americans, I come before you today to discuss the current state of Sports. We find ourselves at a crossroads, America. The amount of money we are spending each year on the Sports Industrial Complex is growing and growing at an alarming rate. Salaries are up. Product is down. Many problems need addressing. I take this time tonight to [read more...]

Next Page »