World Gone Mad

It's a baaaad day for white athletes everywhere. Matt Jones (mug shot, right), Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver - busted for coke and pot. Dude was caught chopping yay-yo with a credit card, had a bag of yay on him and a bag of chronic. Hmmm, snort some yay to get up, puff puff a J to take the edge off, [read more...]

Chris Benoit: One Year Later - Part 1

It was in June 2007 when the world of professional wrestling changed forever. Chris Benoit murdered his wife Nancy, his son Daniel, and finally killed himself on an early summer weekend. While deaths in professional wrestling have become all too common in the last 15 years, the circumstances surrounding what happened are what shocked so many. What made this different was [read more...]

Horse Racing Gets a Bad Rap Too Often

The Sport of Kings always gets a bad rap after a death on the racetrack. Criticism often comes from those that have no idea how the thoroughbred industry operates. The latest chapter in the blame game involves the unfortunate demise of Eight Belles in the Kentucky Derby after running a valiant second, then collapsing on the Churchill Downs main track and [read more...]

Prince Fielder Is Nibbling On My Ear

I'm not saying you're not a vegetarian Prince Fielder, but I just don't know a lot of 5'11", 260 pound non-carnivores. I've been eating mostly vegetarian fare for the last couple of years, and I think you're trying to pull the lima beans over my eyes. I saw you play against the Cubs earlier this season, and I think you [read more...]

Why Trevor Graham Now?

Like steroid distributor Angel Heredia, Justin Gatlin, according to Jeff Novitzky, worked undercover for the government in 2000 and recorded phone calls with Trevor Graham. The testimonies of Heredia and Gatlin are particularly damning to Graham's claims of altruism in conjunction with anonymously sending a syringe full of a designer performance-enhancing (PED) growth hormone drug, THG, to the US Anti-Doping [read more...]

Roger Clemens is Barry Bonds, except he’s…

As much as it pains me to do this, I am going to have to acknowledge the blatant racial discrimination in the treatment of Barry Bonds during the whole steroids, BALCO, Victor Conte saga. At the time, I thought that Barry was just getting the treatment he deserved as a cheater and an all around poor human being. [read more...]

Barry Bonds’ “New” Indictment: Same As the Old Indictment

Everyone in any position of management in Major League Baseball is reciting the mantra. Every Big Box sport media outlet writer or talking head is reciting it, too. Every blogger who believed the ruse is humming along: "You can't bury a federal indictment in concrete." John Saunders uttered those oddly prophetic words this past Sunday on the ESPN show, The Sports Reporters [read more...]

Hall of fame drama: Will someone please impeach Clemens already?

I don't know how much longer the Roger Clemens career-reducing drama can go on, but I'm asking Congress to give this another try---and to get it right this time. Clemens' homemade version of The Surreal Life is in episode 14 where the former seven-time Cy Young Award winner admits to helping Mindy McCready with performance-enhancing vocal tracks when she was 15! It [read more...]

From Bonds to Clemens to Ankiel to Taylor to Tilghman: Context Lost

Months ago, when the Rick Ankiel-HGH news broke, I wrote that his being outed represented - potentially - a watershed moment in sports and sportswriting. It was the moment when the subjects of race and racism, of PEDs in football, and constructive criticisms of all sports, especially the NFL, could be broached by a large enough portion of the U.S. [read more...]

An Open Letter to Barry Bonds

Dear Barry, There is an ancient Chinese proverb that states, "May you live in interesting times." I think it's safe to say that 2006 has been quite the interesting experience for you already. Here you are, 713 home runs in the record books and only two to go before passing the quintessential baseball immortal, Babe Ruth, on the all-time list. Yet your [read more...]

Bonds’ Defense Ever More Farcical

Watching the caricature of a man that is Barry Bonds, I'm reminded of the Black Knight, guarding the bridge in Monty Python's Holy Grail."This book that openly lays out systematic steroid use over a four-year period? Merely a flesh wound!" And you have to love it. It's true comedy. Barry's defense has been reduced to a farce. He is a man [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Insomnia

My roommate Will and I are competitive in everything we do. From golf to scrabble, from bowling to poker, you name it we are out to take each other down. I mention this because recently we have been trying to one-up one another in Text Twist, a game easily found on the internet that requires you to scramble six letters [read more...]

Bonds Is Taking Advantage of ESPN

When ESPN ombudsman and longtime Washington Post sports editor George Solomon called the network's deal to do a reality series on Barry Bonds essentially "mind-boggling" this week, most fans probably agreed. Sure, it's not tantamount to Woodward and Bernstein dropping the cause so the Post could negotiate rights to a reality series with Richard Nixon in the Watergate White House, but [read more...]

Blips, Blurbs & Blasts

OK, Tom Brady, let's review. Your team has won three of the last four Super Bowls, and you've been the MVP in two of those games. Most football experts believe that the Patriots are the only team with any chance of knocking the Colts out of the postseason. You are currently dating Bridget Moynahan, one of the most drop-dead gorgeous [read more...]

Here, There & Everywhere

Best of the Worst, So What? The Chicago Bears are 5-3, should be 6-3 after their battle with the league's best JV team, San Francisco, this weekend, and at this point are the clear favorites to win the NFC North. So what, you say. There are 20 teams that could win this division. To which I ask, since when is it so objectionable [read more...]

Steroids Harmful? Not to ESPN

The problem with being the sun is that it's awful hard to look in the mirror. Bad for the eyes. And as the center of the sporting solar system, ESPN is unequivocally, and deservedly, the central light that illuminates the stories that shape what we see in the way of sports. And yet while they are sports' greatest ambassadors, they are [read more...]

Finger-Pointing the Easiest Response in Politics, Sports

There's a myriad of inadequacies that become apparent every time a disaster strikes. Both in the real world, and the sports world. (The two are not the same.) And inadequacies drive accusations. This week we watch presidential hopefuls and partisans slam the president based on disaster relief in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. This is understandable; they are not running for governor [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Breaking Down the Boo

When Rafael Palmeiro made his first appearance at the plate after serving his suspension for steroids, I expected to hear the boos and catcalls normally reserved for athletes who screw up. With steroids such a hot-button issue, I figured the PA Announcer would have a hard time even getting his name out over the razzes and huzzahs. Imagine my surprise when [read more...]

Robinson Cuts Palmeiro No Slack

After serving a 10-day suspension following a positive drug test and then returning to face the wrath, as it were, of the Orioles fans, Rafael Palmeiro may have thought the worst of his ordeal was behind him. Well, guess again Raffy - it may just be beginning. Much of the media has already weighed in on the issue and there [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Pour Some Out

For those who are regular readers of my column (Hi Nana!), you probably know I have a slight attachment to the University of Texas at Austin. I own several items that illustrate that fact, including shirts, shorts, hats, and a bumper sticker. Until recently, I also owned a small charm that I wore on my necklace, a miniature hand flashing the [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Sports Haiku

Jason Giambi Might be shipped to the minors? Boo-hoo-hoo - roider. World Cup of Baseball Mmmm, I am salivating. It's about freakin' time! Steroids and Congress There's nothing more important? Osama's juicing? Jenny from the block Is really only that way, Inside her movies. Yankees are crappy. Sorry, I like that in print. They kinda suck though. Steve Nash, MVP. Deservedly over Shaq. The Diesel's got Wade. Speaking of Dwyane Wade, He's quicker than Giambi's Post-hearings weight loss Early returns in. New [read more...]

The MLB Accountability Game

While MLB players and administrators continue to lash out over the lack of accountability from the media in implicating anybody and everybody regarding steroid use, you have to laugh at the irony. Here is a league that has avoided accountability to the fans and media for decades regarding drug abuse, but now hurling accusations faster than reports can surface. When Boston [read more...]

Hart Surgery: Ten Plagues of Sports

As a Jew, I am constantly trying to explain the nuances of my religion to outsiders. This week in particular, being Passover, I generally receive an extra amount of questions (usually: "Why are you eating that giant cracker?"). Far and away the longest week of the year, Passover is basically like a Jewish version of Hell Week (to put it in [read more...]

The Early Numbers Game

Juicy Thirty-eight. The most significant number from early April. It wasn't the number of three-pointers Illinois attempted versus North Carolina. It wasn't the number of syllables Clark Kellogg used in a 38-word sentence to describe the game. (He used 39). It wasn't the number of commercial breaks in the NCAA final. No, we're already back to baseball. On Monday, it was revealed that initial tests [read more...]

Two Versions of History

If only the curious have something to find, then what do we make of baseball? The more curious the sport became about a search for greater relevance and a way back into the hearts and wallets of its patrons, the less of its soul it found. In fact, it lost some of it. And as baseball became curious to find a [read more...]

Baseball’s Hangover Only Hurts Some

Man, this is some hangover. And how ironic. The day after St. Patty's, when half the world is reaching for Tabasco concoctions, regrettably sorting through big bar receipts, power-washing wretched breath with Listerine, and trying to understand where that lipstick on the collar came from, baseball itself is being forced to skip the snooze bar and address the bender it's been [read more...]

Congressional Righteousness The Most Juiced of All

These poor guys. We should excuse their boredom. Their taste for good PR blunted, and muddled in their arguments over trivialities such as the overhaul of Social Security, pesky diplomatic efforts with North Korea and Iran, the future of Iraq, and the typical squeals on deficits and judicial appointees, congress was hungry for something sweet. Juicy might be a better word. And [read more...]

The Incentives of America’s Cheatin’ Pastime

Nobody will ever go on record calling Jose Canseco brilliant. After a look at his first novel, it's conceivable that Canseco thinks a thesaurus is some kind of dinosaur. But stupidity and resourcefulness are mutually exclusive. And Canseco didn't make millions for his brains. He is merely, despite his Cuban descent, pure American - at least economically. Which is why baseball [read more...]

Manhood It Is Not For Yanks’ Giambi

Good news, men. The price of manhood is falling. Last week, it was Jason Giambi admitting to the press that he could not in fact, tell a lie. Ah, manhood. Admitting ones mistakes. To a grand jury. Under oath. Facing federal prosecution for perjury. Yes, here is the personification of man. Your exhales are feminine, Marlboro man. Go get a pedicure, [read more...]

A Concealed Legacy

Ken Caminiti has been dead for just over a month. Drugs. To many, he is another junky in the ground. The undeserved privileged. He abused social drugs while a ball-player, admitted to winning the 1996 MVP trophy with the aid of steroids, and continued his spiral to the grave the second he no longer had baseball to distract him. Caminiti [read more...]

Congress Stepping In on Steroid Issue

Often the only way that reform happens is when Congress threatens to do something about it, because if there's one thing that can screw up even the best-run situation, it's governmental intervention. Baseball, poorly run in the best of times, is even more fearful of governmental intervention because Congress holds the power to eliminate baseball's antitrust exemption.In light of the [read more...]

BALCO/Steroids: Too Complex, Too Late

The biggest story in sports remains the BALCO/steroids issues, and this week, what many of us felt was inevitable, came to light: BALCO reportedly supplied Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, Marvin Benard, now of the White Sox, Kansas City catcher Benito Santiago, former Oakland infielder Randy Velarde and Oakland Raiders linebacker Bill Romanowski with steroids and human growth hormones.When [read more...]

‘Roid Rages Through Every Facet

This is no victimless crime. Sports pundits everywhere have been weighing in on the juice issue this week. With evidence now overwhelmingly in place, the steroid issue will take the stage until somebody takes the fall. The overlooked problem is, people have been taking the fall for years. Who? The ones who didn't cheat. Barry Bonds, clearly at the epicenter of the juice-quake, [read more...]

Steroid Use Revealed

In the wake of new, credible evidence of steroid use by baseball stars Gary Sheffield, Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi, fresh allegations regarding the use of performance-enhancing drugs have arisen regarding another figure in the public eye - Bullwinkle T. Moose. Moose, a mainstay in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, spent his college days on the playing fields of Frostbite Falls University, [read more...]

Bonds Just Doesn’t Get It

There is no question that Barry Bonds is one of the greatest baseball players of all time. And you could make a pretty solid argument that he is the best all-around performer in the history of the game. Nevertheless, his intolerable arrogance and selfish attitude have cast him as a villain in the national pastime, and he has no one [read more...]

MLB: Drowning In Juice

This is about to get ugly. Major League Baseball has enough sense to placate those who prefer integrity by keeping profiteering Pete Rose out of the game for now. They now brace for another storm. The water's rising - actually, make that the juice - and some are going to drown. With last week's not-so-shocking news that trainer to the pro's Greg [read more...]

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